{THIRTY}

Jasmine

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Oh God, I was here in this woman’s house, in her bathroom, her personal space. I took a few deep cleansing breaths and tried to compose myself. I was conflicted. I wanted to be here, but was it too soon after Toni? Why did I even care? As Stephanie reminded me, Toni and I hadn’t been on the same page in years. I guess that was the good girl in me, placating, always trying to do right, or taking the high road. My thoughts were erratic.

T served an impressive dinner, no fried chicken and now I was lusting her and this great color palate in the bathroom. The colors reminded me of a sunset—it was gorgeous and spacious—and three people could probably fit in that soaker tub. I felt one of the towels on the towel bar. Nice fluffy, expensive spa-like towels. Hmmm... you don’t put these out for everyone. I smiled.

I didn’t want to give T the wrong impression. What was the wrong impression? That was funny, her impression was I came to dinner dressed for a funeral. I was foolishly overdressed, giving off a Morticia Addams vibe. It wasn’t like we just met, and this was a first date. Was this a date? It felt like a date, I mean, I prepped and danced around like it was a date. What was wrong with me? She had obviously gone out her way to make me feel special. Oh God, please give me a sign. Should I run? Should I stay? ARGH!!!!

After Toni moved out, I exchanged house keys with a neighbor for emergencies. I called and asked her to let Coco out. I certainly hadn’t planned on being here this long.

T was right too. I had not looked out for me—only me—for a long time. And why shouldn’t I enjoy a night out, even if it was Thursday. Who said dates only had to be on the weekend? I made a mental note for future date nights, T enjoyed Dave Coz, Gerald Albright, Najee, Walter Beasley, Candy Dulfer, and Kim Waters, nice! She spared me on the country music front.

I needed to live a little and stop being so predictable and cautious. But caution wasn’t such a bad thing, was it? I mean, it was one reason Toni could leave and my finances weren’t drastically impacted. As a matter of fact, I might save a little money on utilities. I definitely would save on gas without running up and down the road to D.C. to whatever party Toni wanted to go to, and whatever the hell else.

And here I was with this woman who was sexy as hell, who obviously invested time to maintain her incredible body, and who apparently wanted to spend time with me.

I finished in the bathroom and after washing my hands moisturized them with the lotion on the counter. Even the damn almond scented lotion smelled good! I could get used to this.