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Eight months later...
“Are you sure you don’t need any help?” I ask Julian.
“You’re the birthday girl,” he says, giving me a peck on the cheek before opening the fridge. “You’re not supposed to do any work.”
I head to the living room and wait for our guests to arrive.
There’s a birthday party for me tonight at Julian’s penthouse. Well, our penthouse, I guess, since I recently moved in. Julian is cooking—I don’t know what, though I keep asking questions—and our families will be here at six. Yes, both of our families. This will be the first time our parents meet.
The last eight months haven’t been perfect, but they were better than the previous three times I was depressed. I think it’s over now—it was shorter than the other episodes. Julian and I went for a long walk yesterday. We passed by a garden, and when I saw the tulips, I just wanted to smile and enjoy their beauty. I no longer feel like I’m moving through molasses and seeing things through a thick fog. Now, everything seems bright and colorful and alive.
I didn’t have to take leave from work, so that was an improvement. There were several rough days at the lab, but I made it through, and I’ve started being interested in my research again. I had some therapy sessions with a few different psychologists and finally found one I like. I think that may have helped me improve faster than the other times. Being in love and having a better support network were helpful, too.
Love can’t cure my depression, but my relationship with Julian has enriched my life and made it easier to deal with the difficult times.
I look at the promise ring and smile.
Naomi and Will are the first to arrive. My sister and I had a good trip to New York City back in October. I didn’t enjoy it as much as I would have if I hadn’t been depressed, but it was helpful for me to have a break from my regular life. Naomi’s financial situation is better now, and she moved in with Will a few months ago.
Jeremy, Lydia, and Heather are next. Heather is ten months old. She recently started crawling and likes to get into all sorts of trouble. Today, she’s wearing a sailor dress.
“Look at you!” I say, taking her from Jeremy’s arms. “Aren’t you cute?”
She smiles at me. She’s got a few teeth now.
One day, I will have this, too. I never thought it would be possible, but it is. And, yes, Julian and I have talked about it, and he is on board with the plan.
Julian’s parents and grandmother arrive a few minutes later.
His grandmother looks at the baby in my arms. “You must have a baby of your own soon. I’m ninety now. Might not have much time.” She pats my shoulder, then fingers the sleeve of my floral-print dress. “Very nice. You have big seduction plans after everyone leaves?”
“Ma!” exclaims Julian’s mother.
“What? Courtney and I are having a serious conversation. No interrupting.”
I’m glad my parents weren’t here for that exchange.
Julian’s mom shakes her head. “It’s lovely to see you, Courtney. You look well.”
His family knows about my problems. I didn’t want to tell them at first, but in the end, I figured it would be easier. I was a little surprised the world didn’t come crashing down around me when they found out.
Vince arrives next, carrying a bottle of wine.
“I’m surprised you didn’t hire a clown,” I say. “Or a petting zoo. Julian told me about your ideas.”
Heather, who is now sitting in Lydia’s lap, perks up at the words “petting zoo,” though I don’t think she understands what we’re talking about.
“No,” Vince says, “just the best wine for my sister. It’s the one you liked the other night.”
“I’m not your sister,” I protest.
“Aw, come on. We know you will be soon.”
This is true. I give him a smile.
Cedric arrives with another bottle of wine, and my parents are last. They look around the penthouse like they’re in a museum. They’ve only been here once before, and they still can’t believe I’m dating Julian Fong. Of course, they love him and fawn all over him to a rather embarrassing degree.
My parents aren’t the biggest supports in my life, but unlike the previous few times I was unwell, we didn’t fight on a regular basis. My father never snapped and said it was all in my head. It was a relief not to have to worry about what they would say to me.
I introduce my parents to Julian’s parents. They immediately start talking about wedding plans—go figure—and grandchildren. Charles Fong says some nice things to my parents about how they raised a wonderful daughter, and I can feel my cheeks turning pink. My parents beam at me. I’m sure they never imagined Charles Fong talking about their daughter like this. They tell him how the Toronto Chinese-Canadian Center helped them when they first moved to Canada.
I return to the kitchen, where Julian is putting the finishing touches on a green salad with fresh figs and goat cheese. My heart swells at the sight of him.
“How’s it going out there?” he asks. “Any fights yet?”
He’s joking. Neither of us anticipate any problems.
He sweeps me into his arms. “I don’t think anyone will mind if we take a minute to do this.”
As he kisses me on the lips, I wonder if anyone will miss us if we head to the bedroom for five minutes and—
“I knew it!” says a high-pitched voice. “You had seduction plans.”
“Po Po,” Julian says, “you’re not supposed to be anywhere near the kitchen tonight. Go out there and enjoy yourself.”
“I did not come into kitchen to cook the whole meal. Just to make sure you know what you’re doing.”
“I know what I’m doing, I promise,” he says, then winks at me. “I’ve done lots of cooking lately.”
Vince walks into the kitchen. “What’s going on in here? Am I missing all the fun? Is there a petting zoo after all?”
Julian, his arms still around me, shoots him a glare.
His grandmother takes Vince’s hand. “We will go now. It’s getting hot in here.”
Vince, however, is unable to leave because he’s doubled over in laughter.
When we’re alone again, Julian brushes the hair back from my face and gives me one final kiss on the lips. “I suppose I should get back to cooking dinner.”
“I suppose you should,” I say, reluctant to leave.
When I look at him, all I can do is grin. A year ago, I never would have imagined having a happy thirty-second birthday dinner with a boyfriend and our families.
I still have my struggles, and my life isn’t perfect.
But I wouldn’t trade it for anything.
* * *
Julian
I cooked a great leg of lamb, if I do say so myself, and Courtney practically drooled when she saw the chocolate-raspberry cake I made. It tasted as good as it looked, too.
We had sex after everyone left. Now she’s sleeping, her head resting on my shoulder, and I’m stroking her hair. I still can’t get over how beautiful she is, and she’s mine.
My life used to be a non-stop cycle of work, but I was missing out on so much—as she’s shown me. Now I have a good balance of business and pleasure, and I’m in no danger of burning out. I do things like bake lemon squares for no particular reason and read on my rooftop patio with a bottle of “old man” beer and a novel. What’s the point of having a rooftop patio and gorgeous views of the city if you never take the time to enjoy them? Courtney particularly likes when I read shirtless on the patio, though I never seem to get much reading done when she’s up there with me. Strange how that happens.
In the past few weeks, I’ve also done some scrapbooking in secret. I have another surprise—and another ring—to give her when we go back to Montreal for Canada Day weekend.
I know she’ll say yes.
The terrarium is doing well. Joey the Cactus is doing well. He’s started growing toward the light, and he’s a little less...erect than he was before.
But enough about cacti.
My father is enjoying being back at work part-time, and Mom is thrilled he’s stopped his amateur efforts at carpentry. Raymond is now president of Fong Investments, and he’s taken over some of my responsibilities. Po Po has yet to play Chinese opera at my office.
Courtney is well now, too. There were a few difficult months, but at no point did I ever think of leaving her. I’m glad she, too, had faith I would always be there.
She’s the most important part of my life, and she’s changed me for the better. Somehow, my impulsive decision to give her five thousand dollars to teach me how to have fun turned into something truly amazing.
“I love you,” I murmur.
She doesn’t open her eyes, but she mumbles, “I love you, too.”
Yes, sometimes I do important things at work that involve great sums of money, but the best moments in my life are moments like these, when I get to hold the woman I love.
I turn out the light and settle my head on the pillow, right next to Courtney.
I wouldn’t trade this for anything.