“Mom,” said Joletta quietly. “Would you tell me about my dad?”
Sandi’s head turned sharply toward her daughter. “Just what more do you want to know? You know the jerk left me when I was six months pregnant with you. He ran out on us and never came back. That really is all there is to tell. He was a jerk and he probably still is a jerk!”
“I just thought,” stammered the girl, “I thought maybe he could help us out or something.” Joletta went silent, and her head dropped.
“Jo, I’m so sorry! Sweetheart, I didn’t mean to hurt your feelings.” Sandi had realized too late that she had spoken harshly, and she felt ashamed of herself for her quick, bitter reply. “Joletta, your father has never even seen you. I’m sure after all these years he isn’t likely to show up now and start helping us out! I am sorry to disappoint you Dear, but that isn’t the way it usually works.”
“That’s all right, Mom.” Joletta paused. “What about Sam? Maybe he’ll come back.”
Sam was Annie’s father. They had lived with him for almost a year, but a few months ago Sandi and Joletta returned home from a shopping trip and found him and a half-naked blonde girl, not much older than Joletta, making out on the couch.
Sandi and Sam had argued loudly until Sam ended up throwing a few of his things into the back of his old work truck, grabbing the speechless blonde teeny bopper who was still trying to get her clothes fastened, and driving out of their lives, leaving black tire marks for half a block down the road.
He did not come back that night, and he did not return the following week. He never even said good-bye to Joletta or to baby Annie!
A couple of weeks after the incident he called, saying he wanted the rest of his things.
Sandi stuffed everything into several garbage bags. She tossed the bags outside by the curb and left with the girls. When he arrived, the house was empty, and the lock on both the front and back doors had been changed.
Sandi and her daughters stayed in Sam’s house until the first of the month when the property owner threatened to throw them out on the street if they didn’t give him the money Sam owed for the last two months. That’s when they ended up at the State Welfare Agency.
Mr. Benning was the social worker assigned to them. He worked with Sandi, doing the paperwork that needed to be done before they could begin receiving State assistance. He also helped them find the place they were now living in.
They were on their way to see Mr. Benning now. Their standing appointment was on the third Monday of each month. They were required to keep appointments and follow a case plan in order to continue receiving benefits. Sandi did not want to do anything that could jeopardize getting the check that they so badly needed, so they dutifully walked into the office at 2 o’clock sharp.
Mr. Benning was sitting at his desk in the small office he shared with another caseworker. He smiled as they entered the room. “Hello, Ms. Breese. Hi, Joletta. How is little Annie doing today?” He leaned over and touched the baby’s cheek, and she smiled, showing her new tooth which was her very first.
Joletta thought he seemed nice, but she knew how her mother hated coming to see him. Momma said he asked too many questions that were none of his business!
“How are the girls doing?” he asked. “Joletta, did you get settled in your new school?” “Did you get Annie’s D.T.P. vaccination yet? How’s the job hunt going?” On and on the questions went, with Momma answering each in a low voice and Mr. B. writing everything down on a sheet of yellow paper lying upon the desk in front of him. When Sandi told him she still did not have a job, he looked at her sternly over the top of his wire-rimmed glasses. “Ms. Breese,” he said, “you do realize that if you are not employed within 90 days of beginning State assistance, it could be denied meaning you would be unable to maintain the rent on your apartment.” He paused and continued, “It could even create a possibility that your children would be placed into foster care until you are better able to support them.”
Sandi put her hand on Joletta’s and clung tightly to the baby. “Mr. Benning,” Sandi said with a tremor in her voice. “I’ve been trying. I will have a job soon. I promise I will. You just can’t take my kids away from me! They’re all I have!”
Sometimes Jim Benning did not like his job very much. He heard raw terror in Sandi’s voice, and he felt compassion deep in his heart. Perhaps, he should not have spoken so harshly. Joletta was now holding her mother’s hand tightly, her fingers turning purple.
For a few moments no one spoke, and he tried to think of something that could ease the tension.
Sandi Breese seemed like a nice enough woman; the kids appeared to be well cared for. At least they were clean and looked healthy. Joletta, the older girl, always seemed a little nervous and worried, and she very seldom smiled. I guess it isn’t any wonder, he thought. It’s probably not been easy moving to a new town, and they apparently don’t have family or friends who live within this area. He sighed and then remembered something. “Perhaps, there is something I can do to help,” he said. “There is an organization over on Fifth Street that does job placement and counseling. The manager is a friend of mine. I should have thought of this before,” he continued, “but it is still a new enterprise in our community, and we have just recently started doing referrals. If you would like, I could call him and tell him you’ll stop in to see him tomorrow. Perhaps he could help you find something that would be suitable. Would that be O.K?”
“Oh, yes. Thank you, Mr. Benning. I would appreciate that.” He handed Sandi a slip of paper with an address on it as she stood to leave.
“Oh, Momma,” Joletta said as they got into the car. “Do you think they will be able to get you a job at that place? Mom, they couldn’t really take me and Annie away from you, could they?”
“Joletta, could you please be quiet for a minute! Of course, they won’t take you away!” Truthfully, Sandi was still shaking inside from what he had said to them, but she didn’t want to frighten her little girl further. He had already done enough damage! Sandi’s mouth was dry, and her hands were shaking. What she needed was a good stiff drink. She was could hardly believe her own thoughts! “Dear God! What is wrong with me? What can I be thinking?”
The baby whimpered from the car seat in the back, and she looked into her rearview mirror. As she watched Joletta gently comfort Annie, she thought, My girls are the world to me. They are the only thing I have that is worth living for! Somehow, I just have to get my life together.