Sandi’s first few weeks on the job were busy. She was a fast learner and quickly found that she loved working with the elderly people she helped, which impressed the supervisors. She was consistent and always patient and willing to take the time needed to listen to confused or lonely residents.
The first few weeks she worked with housekeeping, cleaning and doing laundry. When returning clothing to the residents, she would always stop and speak a few kind words as she checked to see if anything was amiss. It was not long before Zelda, the head nurse, asked if Sandi would like to take training so she could work directly with the patients.
Ina had been a resident at Maryville for almost 10 years, and until a year or so ago, she had been able to participate in the activities provided for residents. Sadly, she now suffered from dementia and was no longer able to talk or communicate with others effectively. She understood very little of what was happening around her, although occasionally she became lucid for a brief period. Her eyes would open, and she would quietly observe whoever happened to be in the small room which had become her entire world. She would watch but never spoke.
As long as no one touched her, she sat quietly waiting for her days to pass. Sadly, her dementia caused her to be frightened of physical touch. When someone needed to work with Ina, she would cry pitifully, making it hard for the nurse’s aides who daily had to help dress and clean her.
One evening, while getting Ina ready for the night, one of the aides called for Sandi who was passing by the door. Two aides were already there, but the elderly woman was struggling. Crying and pushing at them, her arms were waving wildly about in a panic. Frustration and irritation showed in the faces of the two workers, and as Sandi came in, she saw Ina’s panicked struggle. It was not the first time she had heard Ina crying, and she had heard stories from others about how hard it was to take care of her. It seemed that no one liked working with Ina. Sandi had not yet been certified as a nurse’s aide, so she was not able to physically help patients, but she came into the room and walked over to Ina’s bed.
She had been in and out of her room now daily to clean and return clothing without any problems. Speaking softly, she asked, “Ina, what is wrong? Can I help? These ladies are only trying to help you, Hon. It’s going to be ok.” Amazingly, something about Sandi’s voice quieted Ina. She stopped waving her arms around and sat very still.
Everyone in the room waited– for only a moment, Ina’s clouded eyes cleared, and she looked directly at Sandi. Reaching her long crooked fingers out, she gently touched the younger woman’s cheek. The two other women in the room could not believe what had just taken place.
Soon they had Ina dressed and settled, hopefully for the rest of the night. “What on earth did you do?” one of them asked.
Sandi smiled and shrugged her shoulders. “Not sure. But I’m glad it worked.” She continued smiling as she returned to her housekeeping duties. It felt good knowing she had done something to help the sweet old woman and the two young aides, even if she wasn’t quite sure what it was that she had done.
The next evening the Floor Supervisor called for Sandi to stop into the staff office. As they passed in the hall, Rachel the night nurse assured her that there was no reason to be concerned.
Entering the office, Mrs. Booth explained the reason she wanted to speak with her. “It seems that Ina likes you, Sandi. Nan has been telling how she reacted when you came into her room.”
“Yes, she did seem to relax while I was there, but I didn’t really do anything special. I just talked to her like I do any of the other residents while I am in their rooms.”
“Well, Ina certainly seemed to appreciate what you did. As I think you are aware, the nurse’s aides have had a continuing problem with her and if you are willing, we would like to try having you spend some time during the evenings with Ina before she has to be dressed for the night. Unfortunately, because she is unable to understand that we are only trying to care for her, it is quite a problem for the staff when she gets so upset, and although she cannot verbalize her feelings, I am sure the trauma is not good for her. The nurses and aides do the best they can, but she is very fragile, and it causes much concern for her safety. I know that under the circumstances, it has been a long time since Ina has had a friend. She has no family left except a great-nephew that lives out west. If she responds well to your visits it could make things much easier for everyone involved, especially, for Ina.”
Although Sandi was unsure that she could really make a difference, her heart went out to the elderly lady, and she agreed to try. In the weeks that followed, she spent part of her shift each evening in Ina’s room. Every night she sat with her and would talk or do whatever seemed to be pleasurable or comforting to the old woman. Sandi read short stories aloud to her, combed her thin silver hair and put lotion on her hands and arms. One evening as Sandi was humming an old song, one she didn’t even remember the words to, Ina opened her eyes and looked directly at her.
“Do you remember this song?” Sandi asked. Ina’s eyes closed again, but the corners of her mouth curled slightly. That was the only time Sandi ever saw Ina display any emotion other than fear. Sandi continued humming until Ina was peacefully asleep.
Ina passed away only a few short weeks after Sandi started working at Maryville. Sandi cried off and on her entire shift that night. She had not thought about becoming attached to these people, but Ina had outlived her family, there was no one left to grieve her loss. It broke Sandi’s heart. She had come to love this precious soul, and she would certainly miss her, although Ina had never spoken as much as one word to her. She believed that somehow, Ina understood the love she had offered.
Later that night, Sandi was in the employee break room when she happened to overhear a conversation between several of the employees. She could hardly believe what she was hearing when one of the aides commented “Well, at least that is one less “old crow” we have to worry about.” Sandi stood up, and with both hands clenched, walked directly over to where they were talking. She felt like slapping the aide right in the face, but in response, she only said “Ina couldn’t help herself. You should be ashamed!” Then with her hand over her mouth, choking back her emotion, she walked out of the room, leaving the three girls with embarrassment and shame on their faces. How could some people be so heartless?
As Sandi’s confidence slowly began to grow, weeks became months, and she actually began to feel hope that her life was going in a better direction. It had been a long time since she had dared to believe in anything except bad luck. Although it was not always easy, she kept up pretty well with the house and spent as much time as she could with her children. She faithfully went to work each day and even developed several new friendships.
There was very little extra time for socializing, but she did find a few hours a week to read or do something she enjoyed.
Each morning, if you can call 3:30 a.m. “morning,” when she finished work, she would go home and collapse on her bed. Her alarm went off at 8:00 a.m., barely four hours later, and she would then get up to fix breakfast and eat with Joletta and Annie. It was soon time to take Joletta to school after which Sandi and the baby would return home. She spent the early day with Annie and working around the house doing whatever needed to be done. Paying bills, doing laundry, housecleaning, and caring for the baby filled most of her time while she was not working. Annie was ready for a nap shortly after lunch and Sandi would then lie down once again and sleep, if possible, until Annie woke up or whenever Jo got home from school.
Their evening routine would then begin. It was a crazy schedule, but for now, it was how they were getting by. Actually, it was not so bad. In many ways, the busier she was, the happier she felt.
Sandi felt good to once again have a real job. Her check wasn’t large, but she still received some state assistance, and that added to the small stipend from the job placement grant. It gave them enough extra that they went to the local resale shop, where Sandi bought both girls much-needed coats and clothing for the upcoming winter.
Joletta had been walking home from school with her new friend Tina, who lived just around the corner.
Tina and Jo met the very first day of school and soon became “fast friends.” Tina had first noticed Jo sitting alone at lunchtime, and she asked her if she wanted company. Before lunch was over, they realized they not only shared lunch period but the same homeroom and study hall. Also, they found out they lived practically next door to each other.
Jo had not had a real friend for a long time. Keeping friends was not an easy job when you moved two or three times a year. She and Tina made an agreement that they would be friends forever, even if they moved far away from each other.
In the evening, after waking her mother up, Joletta had about an hour that she could visit or do pretty much as she pleased. It wasn’t a lot of time, but so far, Jo had not complained. Mom wanted her home by 6:30 so they could eat dinner together. After the meal was over and the dishes were done, Joletta did homework while Sandi got ready to leave for work.
Mom would bathe Annie, put her pajamas on, then read to her or sing her little songs, and after hugs and kisses, she would leave for work. Joletta would play with Annie for a while or rock her as the baby took her last bottle. After checking to make sure that she didn’t need her diaper changed, she would tuck her into the crib.
Mom had given her permission that after Annie was in bed, and after double-checking to see that the doors and windows were locked, Jo could read or watch TV, unless she still had homework to finish. Her lights were to be out at 10:00.