Keely and her mother awoke energized. Coffee sweetened with sugar and cream helped, too. Together, Keely and her mother tore through the boxes and plastic bags in the basement, uncovering old winter clothes, thick white linen tablecloths that had been waiting for years to be ironed, stacks of Keely’s father’s National Geographic magazines, clusters of children’s birthday party paraphernalia—plastic silver tiaras, not one but two broken piñatas, Little Mermaid paper plates, cups, and napkins—and several shoeboxes of old photograph negatives. After they’d loaded up the back of the Civic, Keely and her mother showered and dressed, and Keely took them out to the Seagrille for dinner.
Keely kept checking her phone to see if she’d had a text from Sebastian.
No, nothing from him. Two brief texts from Gray.
“Hey, Keely, Mrs. Green, good to see you!” The hostess, Mindy Saffel, had worked with Keely for Clean Sweep years ago.
Keely hugged Mindy. “Good to see you, Mindy. We’d like a table, not a booth.” When she had been here before, years ago, Keely had loved the privacy of a booth, but that had been when she was with a friend, gossiping, or a guy, flirting. Now she was with her mother and she wanted her mother to see and be seen.
“You got it.”
As they settled at their table and studied the menus, Keely knew she’d made the right choice. Several of the other diners were either women Eloise’s age or nurses. By the time Keely had ordered prosecco for herself and her mother, some people had waved at Eloise, and Priscilla Hart was headed toward their table.
“Eloise! I haven’t seen you in such a long time! Is it true you’ve retired?”
Eloise blinked several times, as if a spotlight were suddenly shining in her eyes. “Yes,” she said softly. “I have.”
“I’m so glad! You have to join our bridge club! We meet every Monday evening, and we take turns hosting it, and we always take a break in the middle of the evening for dessert and coffee. You’d love it.”
Sadly, Eloise admitted, “I don’t know how to play bridge.”
Priscilla waved Eloise’s objection away. “Don’t worry about that! You’ll pick it up in no time. Learn the basics on your computer. Come on Monday and observe. We’ll be at Nancy Grossman’s.”
“Well,” Eloise began.
Keely kicked her under the table.
“I’d like that,” Eloise finished.
“Good! Six o’clock.”
After Priscilla returned to her table, Eloise took a long sip of her prosecco.
“Good for you, Mom!” Keely said quietly. “You’ve always liked Priscilla. And Nancy Grossman.”
Eloise took another sip of her drink. “I was Priscilla’s nurse when she gave birth to Peter.” She smiled. “Priscilla cursed like a sailor. And when Peter was finally in her arms, she said to Harold, ‘Meet your only child.’ ”
Keely laughed with her mother. “Gosh, Mom, I never thought about it this way, but there must be scads of people on this island you helped give birth.”
“Not only that. Years ago, I wasn’t just a labor-delivery room nurse. I did a bit of everything.” She looked around the room. “I’ve probably seen the hind ends of half the people here.” She giggled, her cheeks flushing.
Keely’s spirits lifted. It was working. Her mother was out of the house and had plans to be with friends. “What was the craziest thing you ever saw when you were at the hospital?”
Eloise thought. “Once, long ago, I was taking the pulse of a woman who’d had a hysterectomy. A movement caught my eye. I looked down, and a snake was sliding out from under the bed. It probably came in with a pot of flowers from someone’s garden.”
“Eeek,” Keely said. “What did you do?”
“I didn’t blink an eye. I recorded the woman’s pulse—it was one of the Stanley sisters—and slowly left the room. Then I ran to the nurses’ station and told them to get a custodian up to the room right away.” Eloise laughed. “But Jessie, she grew up on a farm here, you know, back when people actually had real farms. She went in, bent down, scooped it up, and put it in a pillowcase. ‘For heaven’s sake,’ she said, ‘it’s only a harmless garter snake.’ She took it outside and let it loose. We don’t have any poisonous snakes on the island, so I wasn’t really terrified, but I was glad when that thing was gone.”
Keely laughed. The waiter came for their orders, and when he went off, Keely asked for another hospital memory. The food was delicious and her mother was brightening, at last almost her old self. They’d have to go out to dinner more often, Keely decided.
Sebastian walked into the restaurant, accompanied by a tall, curvy blond wearing Manolo Blahniks and a fabulous black dress.
“Oh, look, dear, there’s Sebastian,” Eloise said, starting to wave.
Keely caught her mother’s hand, brought it to the table, and held it there. “Don’t wave, Mom. He’s on a date. He doesn’t want to say hello to us.”
“Why wouldn’t he? We’re friends…”
“Mom, stop staring. Look at me. Look at me now.”
Eloise frowned. “I thought Sebastian and you…”
“It’s fine, Mom. We’re just friends. Enjoy your dinner. Isn’t it delicious?”
Keely smiled, but her food had turned to chalk in her mouth.
The moment she got home that night, Keely called Gray.
“Hey,” he said.
“Is this too late?”
Gray laughed. “Keely, it’s only nine-thirty.”
“Oops. Well, that tells you everything about my life with my mother. I just took her out to dinner at the Seagrille. Reservation time: six o’clock.”
“It’s good though, that you’re getting her out to dinner.”
“Yes. Yes, I think I am cheering her up.” She fell back on her bed, stretching out as she told him about the excitement of sorting through her mother’s treasures. “Tell me, how is your visit with your parents?”
Gray laughed. “Mother’s cooking more food than I could eat in a month. Prime rib, twice-baked potatoes, carrots in brown sugar, apple pie with ice cream…I’m sure I’ll split all my trousers when I get back to New York.”
Keely laughed. “You could use a few pounds.”
“Really? Would you like to elaborate?”
She laughed again. “I’ll do it in person.”
They continued to talk, their voices growing more and more affectionate. When Keely finally clicked off and got ready for bed, she felt a glow in her heart from Gray’s humor and from the life she shared with him in the city, the city that never went dark. She clicked the Photos icon on her phone and scrolled through photos they’d taken or had taken of them together. Here she was at Lincoln Center, by the fountain, during the intermission of the ballet. She wore a floor-length, narrow rose silk gown with a spectacular silk wrap, rose on one side, white on the other. Her hair was piled high on her head, her lipstick was red, her eye makeup was dark and dramatic. She looked beautiful. Really, she looked amazing. She looked the way she had dreamed of looking when she was a little girl.
There was another photo taken in the grand foyer of the Metropolitan Museum of Art during a charity dinner. Here, Keely wore a little black dress with her dark hair sweeping down past her shoulders, accentuating her heavy pearl drop earrings, the only jewelry she wore that night. Gray was standing next to her in a tux, his lush dark hair and green eyes gleaming. They were holding hands, and both were smiling. Keely looked more than happy—she looked radiant. She remembered how she felt that evening, that at last she was living the life she’d always imagined.
All of her photos taken in the city seemed like glamour shots. The city behind them, the bronze statues, the Art Deco interiors, the gleaming shop windows, the avenues of cabs and Ubers and buses and pedestrians hurrying along the sidewalks, all of it looked like the sparkling center of the world. With Gray, she could have all that, and with Gray she knew she would be loved. After his confession that night as they lay together so close in bed, she knew he would be faithful to her, that he had entrusted her with his deepest secrets, and he believed she would keep those secrets safe. That was a gift of devotion.
She fell asleep, dreaming of the bright lights of New York.
“Keely?” It was Sarah B., one of her old high school friends. “Listen, I’m teaching tenth grade English, and I wonder…would you consider coming out sometime to talk to the class about writing? What it’s like to be a writer, how you get published, that sort of thing?”
Keely brightened. “I’d love to!”
“Oh, my kids will be thrilled. Can we pick a day next week?”
“Absolutely.”
After they said goodbye, Keely straightened her spine and focused on her writing. It always took a few minutes for her to write the first sentence, as if her mind was blocked and she had to patiently push it forward. After she got that first sentence out, her writing flowed.
She was almost finished with her day’s work—it felt as if her work was finished with her. Her cellphone, set on silent, vibrated on her desk.
Impatiently, she checked who was calling: Sebastian Maxwell.
She kept her voice cool. “Hi, Sebastian.”
“Hi, Keely. Do you have some free time tomorrow afternoon?”
“Can’t your blond friend join you?”
“What? Oh, the restaurant. Mae-Brit is an artist in Stockholm, a friend. Also, she’s a lesbian. And she left the island today for New York. So no, she can’t join me. Anyway, I want to take you to do one of my favorite things.”
Keely tried not to sound too delighted about Mae-Brit. Calmly, she replied, “Well, that’s intriguing. What’s one of your favorite things?” She imagined sailing or walking on a beach.
“Let me pick you up tomorrow at two and you’ll find out.”
“Aren’t you Mr. Mysterious. Okay, I’ll be ready at two.”
“Dress casually.”
So it was going to be sailing, Keely decided. Fine. She’d be glad to swim with the sharks if it meant doing it with Sebastian.
Her cell buzzed again.
“Hey,” Janine said, “listen, Keely, a bunch of us are going out to Surfside this afternoon to drink margaritas and eat chips and gossip. Want to come?”
Keely laughed. “What can I bring?”
It had been a long time since Keely had hung out with her high school friends, and she’d forgotten how much fun it was, especially after her first margarita. They set up beach chairs in the sand, or tossed down towels to lie on for a maximum effect tan in the late afternoon sun. They had bowls of chips and dips and young radishes with salt and bluefish pâté Norah had made from fish her husband had caught. Keely thought they’d want to know all about her life in the big city. Instead, they regaled her with all the gossip she’d missed since she’d been gone. Two married—and sexy even if they were thirty-eight—teachers ran off with two other married and not quite so sexy teachers and no one could understand why. Stanley Keene had embezzled ten million dollars from his boss’s real estate business and was now serving time in jail. Cathy Higgins, a girl from their class, had married an older man with a house in Squam and a house in Boston and had gotten divorced a year later. Nothing was too terrible, and the fresh sea air and the sun glancing off the tips of the waves made it all seem material for laughter. When Sarah B. finally asked Keely about life in New York, she told them about Gray. Actually, she bragged about Gray, and brought out her phone to show them photos of the two of them together in their evening dress, and everyone screamed with admiration and jealousy.
“Marry him!” Norah ordered. “Marry him and make him buy a house on the island!”
Keely laughed. “I’ll have to wait for him to ask me first.”
Later that evening, as she showered off the sand and shampooed her hair and checked out the healthy glow on her cheeks from the sun, Keely couldn’t help laughing, and she didn’t know why. She was, quite simply, happy.
Sebastian arrived the next day in his ancient, rattling, but beloved Jeep, the one he’d bought with his own money in high school. He wore board shorts and a T-shirt. Keely wore capris and a T-shirt, too, one of the three thousand tees she’d tried on that morning to find the most attractive one that also seemed less flirtatious. All of which was a lot to ask from a T-shirt.
He didn’t just honk his horn, but came to the door and knocked. Keely was waiting. She called, “Goodbye, Mom!” and squeezed outside before Sebastian could get a look at her mother ensconced in her recliner in front of the TV.
“Hey,” Sebastian said, and kissed Keely’s cheek.
“Hey.” As they walked to the Jeep, she said, “So now will you tell me what we’re doing today?”
“Nope. But I guarantee you’ll love it.”
He drove from Keely’s house, away from town and down the road to Madaket.
“Hmm,” Keely said. “I don’t think you have a boat moored out there.”
“Nope.”
“You’re driving us to Take It or Leave It to treasure hunt.”
“Uh-uh. That will be our next date.”
After that remark, Keely didn’t speak, because she couldn’t get her breath. Sebastian thought there would be another date? She sneaked a sideways look at him. Yup, as gorgeous as always. Maybe even more so, now that an early tan set off his blue eyes and blond hair. Had his legs always been so long or was it simply that she hadn’t seen him in board shorts for a while?
He turned off onto Crooked Lane, a short, winding street leading to Cliff Road.
“Curiouser and curiouser,” Keely said.
He made a left turn and pulled into the parking lot of the animal hospital.
“You’re going to have a chip put in my neck so you can find me whenever you want me,” Keely joked.
Sebastian looked her right in the eye and grinned. “Nope, but that’s not a bad idea.”
Once again, she was breathless.
“I volunteer several days a week at Safe Harbor, the shelter for animals waiting for adoption. Remember Fido? He went to dog heaven a few years ago. I can’t keep a dog in my apartment. But the shelter always has several animals waiting here. I come out to take the dogs for a walk, to spend some human time with them. It makes them happy, and it makes me happy. I thought you’d enjoy it, too.”
“I do like dogs…”
“Come on,” Sebastian said. “Wait till you meet the gang.”
They went around the side of the building. There, in large, clean, wire pens were four dogs of various sizes and breeds.
Sebastian led Keely into the office, which was filled with smaller cages, each one home to a cat.
“Sebastian!” Nadine, the manager, jumped up and hugged Sebastian. “Hooray, you’re here. The beasts are so ready.”
“Nadine, I’ve brought a friend to help. You remember Keely Green from school.”
“Sure do.” Nadine folded Keely in her arms, then held her away, studying her. “Okay, you’ll get Missy. She’s the quietest of them all. Sebastian, you can take whoever you want. But remember, both of you, when you’ve got them outside on leashes, they have to obey you. You can’t let them run off like they want to do.”
“But we can run with them, right?” Sebastian asked.
“Right. And don’t forget these.” She handed them each a plastic bag. “For picking up doggie doo,” Nadine told Keely.
So Keely spent most of her afternoon on one end of a green leash with a small mixed-breed female dog who preferred sitting in Keely’s lap and being petted to running alongside Sebastian and his leaping, twisting, barking, hyperactive hound. Keely did get Missy to take a nice long walk, and at one point in the afternoon, she leaned against a tree with Missy licking her face and watched Sebastian on the ground, wrestling with a deliriously happy rottweiler/who-knew-what mix named Mike Tyson.
“Who’s a pretty girl?” Keely asked the small furry creature as she scratched Missy’s pink belly while Missy lay with her eyes closed in ecstasy. Missy really was pretty, with curly white hair and a black button nose. Keely envisioned buying her a pink collar with rhinestones and giving her to her mother. That would get Eloise out of the house!
In the distance, two other volunteers romped with two other dogs, a greyhound and a black Lab.
“They’re not as pretty as you,” Keely whispered in Missy’s ear. Missy wagged her tail in agreement.
When the time came to return the dogs to their kennels, Missy turned in the doorway and shot Keely a beseeching look.
“She likes you,” Nadine said. “She hasn’t liked anyone the way she likes you.”
“I can’t,” Keely said, backing away. “I’m not sure how long I’ll be on the island, and I don’t have room for a dog in my apartment in the city.”
But when she turned away, she was surprised to find she was tearing up. She wiped her eyes before Sebastian could see her, but obviously he detected her mood because he put a strong, sustaining arm around her shoulders and pulled her against him. “Now it’s time for a cool mojito and some nachos.”
Keely swept her hand over her shirt. “I’m covered in dog hair.”
“Brush it off,” Sebastian said sensibly. “Anyway, half the people on the island are tracking sand in on their clothes. No big deal.”
They went to Cru, a restaurant down on Straight Wharf, where they sat inside, looking out at small fishing boats gliding in to tie up at the dock. Once they’d ordered their drinks, Sebastian took out his phone and studied it.
“Something important?” Keely asked.
“Very important. I just double-checked. The new Star Wars movie is on at seven on the big screen. If we eat fast, we can make it.”
Keely leaned back in her chair. “So this date we’re having includes a movie, too?”
Sebastian gave her a sleepy-eye look. “This date we’re having can go on all night if you want.”
Keely laughed. “Still the same old Sebastian.”
Reaching over, he took her hand. “Not the same old Sebastian at all. I think you’ll find I’m the new, improved model.”
He drew his thumb in a delicate swirl on her palm, such a soft touch to cause such an explosion of longing in Keely’s body. She didn’t pull away. She’d been waiting for this moment all her life. She didn’t want to ruin it by being simply too afraid to go into the moment, to really be there. She was almost thirty, after all. She wasn’t an ingénue.
She smiled back at him, slowly. “I always enjoy sampling what’s new and improved.”
“Excuse me,” the waiter said.
They had to unlink their hands in order for the waiter to set the drinks on the table.
Was it the alcohol? She had only two drinks. Was it the afternoon of running and playing with Missy, enjoying the fresh air and sunshine, the sense of freedom, letting go of words, letting herself give in to a completely sensual part of herself? Maybe it was the delicious sweet mussels she ate, carefully picking the meat out of the iridescent shells, like a jeweler teasing out a pearl. The tangy taste of the sea. The thick soft bread she used to soak up the broth. The laughter of others around her. The slow fade of the bright blue sky to a dreamy lavender. The boats sliding so deftly into a slip.
Whatever it was, Keely and Sebastian lingered at the restaurant, talking about their pasts in New York and Sweden, their odd lives of writing and scrimshawing, the need for isolation and the need for fellowship.
“Do you still have feelings for Tommy?” Sebastian asked.
Keely smiled. “Honestly, no. The last time I even set eyes on him was over a year ago, at Bartlett’s. He and Isabelle were such a couple, so happy together. I moved to New York, and so much in my life changed. I’ve changed. I love my work and I know I’m fortunate to be able to do what I love. Tommy, at least the Tommy I knew, would have been impatient with me spending so much time in isolation.”
She hesitated, wondering how much Isabelle had told him. “You know Isabelle and I aren’t speaking?”
Sebastian nodded.
“But you called me anyway.”
“It doesn’t matter what you and Isabelle do. I want to see you.”
“Is that true?”
“Of course it’s true.”
“It’s just that your family is so…entwined. Like I have to please everyone, Donna and your father and Isabelle, before I can”—she sought the perfect word—“please you.”
“I can understand why it seems that way. When we were kids, it’s true, our family was like bees in our own hive. But we’re older now, and separate. I live above my print shop. Isabelle and Tommy and Brittany live in the apartment above the garage. It’s true they see Mom every day, usually so she’ll take care of Brittany while Isabelle goes off on errands.”
“Sebastian, I miss Isabelle so much. I’d love to be friends with her again.”
“You probably will be. Maybe it will just take time.”
Keely bit her lower lip lightly, thinking. “I should tell you, Sebastian, I’m seeing someone in the city. Gray Anderpohl. He’s…nice. I…like him.”
“Are you committed to him?”
“No. And he’ll always need to live in New York. While I…I thought I could be a New Yorker, but I’m afraid I’m crazy about this island.” Keely looked at Sebastian. “And then there’s you.” Bravely, she asked, “What are we doing here, Sebastian? I mean…”
“I know what you mean. And I know what we’re doing. What I hope we’re doing. What I’ve been wanting to do for a very long time.”
He paid the check and pulled out her chair. He took her hand as they walked out of the restaurant and up the wharf to his Jeep. He drove to the apartment above his print shop. They went inside and up the wooden stairs. They entered the apartment. He shut the door, and before she could speak, he had his arms around her and his mouth on hers. She put her arms around his neck and kissed him back with all the hunger and desire she’d been holding in all her life. Sebastian picked her up and carried her to his bed.
They didn’t come out until the next morning.
When she opened her eyes, she saw Sebastian lying next to her.
“Oh my goodness,” she said. “I can’t believe it.”
“Believe it,” Sebastian told her. “Check out the covers.”
The top sheet and light quilt had been twisted into a mountain of fabric.
“It’s a work of art,” Keely said.
“You’re a work of art,” Sebastian told her, and drew her close to him, so that her head was on his shoulder and his arm around her back.
“What time is it?”
His chin dug slightly into her head as he leaned over to check the clock. “Nine-thirty.”
“I don’t think I’m going to get much writing done today,” she said.
“Maybe not, but I’m going to give you some good material.” He lifted her hair and kissed the back of her neck, and turned her to face him, and kissed her throat, and then her collarbone.
I have morning breath, Keely thought in a panic. Then she forgot about everything except Sebastian’s mouth.
Later, they sat on his sofa, drinking coffee. Keely was sitting propped with her legs stretched out and her feet in Sebastian’s lap. They’d heard sounds from his shop—his employee entering and opening the doors, voices, a phone ringing. Sebastian was in no hurry to get to work.
“So,” Sebastian said, “want to see that movie tonight?”
Keely smiled. “I’ll see any movie you want to show me.”
Sebastian ran his fingers over Keely’s ankles. “Are you ready to take this public?”
“This?”
“You and me. As a couple. Together.”
“Are we going from zero to sixty too fast?” Keely asked. Her heart was jumping rope and it wasn’t from the caffeine.
“Are we? I don’t think so. We’re adults now. We’ve had some fun and we’ve been in and out of love. We’ve traveled. We can trust what our hearts tell us.”
Keely dipped her head at his romantic words. They delighted her, and frightened her a little, too. “What about your Swedish stewardess—”
“She’s not a stewardess and never has been. Ebba is an artist. And the Swedes were doing scrimshaw before we were. I learned a lot over there.”
“Do you want to go back?”
“Do you want to go back to Tommy?”
Keely laughed. “No, Sebastian. First of all, he’s married to Isabelle. They have a child. They’re happy.”
“But you were angry with Isabelle when she married Tommy.”
“True. It happened so fast, sort of like the moment my back was turned. Isabelle didn’t tell me what she was going to do. I felt—spurned. Scorned. By Tommy, yes, but also by Isabelle. Like she was playing a trick on me. But I’m over all that now.”
“Okay, then, do you want to live in New York?”
Keely thought a moment. “Not anymore. I want to live here, on this island. But I want to go there often. You know my editor and agent are there, and I love the museums and plays and shops…”
“And the guy in New York? Gray?”
Keely stared down into her coffee mug, as if she could find the answer there.
Finally she said, “I admire Gray. I’m fond of him. He’s a pediatric surgeon, and he’s intense. I want to love him”—she glanced up at Sebastian with a smile—“but I can’t…I don’t know how to say it. I can’t get comfortable with him.”
“Can you get comfortable with me?” Sebastian asked.
Keely smiled at him. “More than comfortable, I’d say.”
“But out of bed. Out in the world. Daily life.”
She took a deep breath, marshaling her thoughts. Somehow she’d arrived at a crossroads, a place she never dreamed she would be. “I don’t know, Sebastian,” she answered honestly. “The thing is…well, your family.” She held up her hand. “No, let me finish. It’s not just about Isabelle. It’s that all my life I envied your family so terribly it was like an open wound in my heart. Your mother is so lovely, and so perfect. She always took good care of you kids, and never missed a game or a meet. And your father is an important man in this town.” She hesitated, wondering whether to mention Al Maxwell’s coldness the day he read her father’s will. Let it go, she decided. “And that wonderful house…and my mother is totally a good person, she’s a nurse, she’s helped so many people, but she is…quieter…than your mother. My father liked to do things with me—he taught me how to surf cast out at the Madaket Beach. Stuff like that. But often he was working, and too tired to do much else. I loved him. I miss him. But…it’s terrible, and I feel guilty, but I just always wished I had your family.”
“But if you’d had my family, you couldn’t be with me. That would be incest. Our children would be cross-eyed.”
Keely nearly fell off the sofa. Our children? Sebastian was thinking: our children?
“We did have a happy family,” Sebastian admitted in a more serious tone. “We’re fortunate. But God knows we’re not perfect. My father’s a lawyer, sure, but as the years have passed, his profession is wearing on him. He’s getting short-tempered. Argumentative. Nothing lives up to his standards. Certainly not my work, which he sees as unworthy of a Maxwell. He wanted me to be a lawyer, too. He thinks scrimshaw is outdated and foolish. We argue about it a lot, which is one reason I don’t go over for Sunday lunch anymore.”
“I’m sorry,” Keely said.
“As for Isabelle and Tommy—Dad disapproves of Tommy.”
“But your father bought him that fishing boat…”
“Isabelle’s always been Dad’s favorite. He’d give her the stars from the sky if he could. So no guy could ever be worthy of her in Dad’s eyes.” Sebastian’s voice softened. “But Brittany, now there’s the one person who can do no wrong. No matter how much time Tommy spends out drinking beer with his buddies on his boat, Dad will always champion Tommy because of his granddaughter.”
“Tommy spends a lot of time drinking beer on his boat?” Keely asked.
Sebastian shot her a look. “You want to talk about Tommy?”
Keely shook her head. “No. No, I want to talk about families. Your mother has two children and a granddaughter. I’m all my mother has. And she’s become seriously depressed since she quit nursing. I’m doing my best to cheer her up, and I think she’s gotten better, but it’s sad to see her this way.” Keely paused. “Sebastian, I don’t know if Isabelle and I will ever be good friends again. I’ve reached out to her but she refuses to talk. I think she’s kind of angry with me because I got a novel published first.”
Sebastian turned toward Keely, lifting her feet off his lap so that she shifted positions and tucked her feet under her. “Keely, Isabelle is my sister, and I love her. I know how desperately she’s wanted to publish a novel. I don’t think she’s angry at you. I think she’s hurt, not by you, but by circumstances. I think the sight of you—the thought of you—wounds her.”
Keely nodded. “I understand that. So maybe in time, she’ll be my friend again.”
“Right. Now look at me, Keely. I am not my sister. Nothing I do has anything to do with my sister.” Impatiently, Sebastian stood up. “And at this particular moment, I’m hungry. I’ll make us some eggs and bacon.”
“All this and you cook, too,” Keely joked.
She went with him into the kitchen and took on the job of microwaving the bacon. She thought this moment, with the smell of buttery eggs and salty bacon, with Sebastian, who loved her, sprinkling cheese over the eggs, with her body aching in the most delicious way from all they had done in the night—she thought this moment was the happiest in her life.
After breakfast, Sebastian kissed Keely for a long, sweet time. Then he drove her to her house.
He smiled as she opened the car door. “See you later.”
“Yes. Later.” She could hardly pull herself away.
When Keely entered, her mother was in her recliner again, watching television.
“That was a long date,” Eloise remarked.
“It was wonderful.” Keely didn’t want to talk about it yet. “Have you eaten breakfast?”
“Don’t worry about me, sweetheart. I don’t want to interrupt your writing schedule.”
“You mean you’re addicted to your television shows,” Keely said cheerfully. “I’m going to take a shower and get right to work.”
Keely showered and dressed for the day and took her place at her desk with her laptop, and—she didn’t have a thought in her head for her book. Her mind ricocheted back between flashes of her night with Sebastian—his gentle hands, his sweet mouth, his long legs—and anxiety for what might happen.
What if she got her heart broken? He had told her he loved her, but she knew it was too soon for them to promise to spend their lives together. Who knew what would happen when his family heard he was seeing her?
With sudden insight, Keely realized she had a family, too. Nervously, she called Sebastian. “Can you come to dinner here tonight?”
“Absolutely.”
“Good. I’ll call again about the time.”
Keely hurried back to her mother. “We have to go. We’ll get ice cream for energy, because after that, we’re going to the grocery store. We’re going to have Sebastian over for dinner tonight.”
“Really? Oh, how lovely! Let’s buy some nice juicy steaks!”
Eloise was up and out of her chair and dressed and ready to go in a matter of minutes.
That evening, Keely grilled steaks. Her mother made roasted potatoes with cheese and herbs, broiled broccoli coated with olive oil and salt, and a salad. Sebastian brought over a bottle of wine and they feasted out on the patio.
Sebastian was charming. He brought up names of islanders who had been injured or ill over the years, and Eloise lit up. She remembered each wound, each ailment, each recovery, and she seemed to regain some of her positive spirit while talking about them. As they ate, Keely ran her bare toes up Sebastian’s leg and was rewarded with a look that would have set off Roman candles.
After dessert—ice cream and cookies—Eloise rose from the table. “If you’ll excuse me, I’m going to tidy up the kitchen.”
The moment Eloise was in the house, Sebastian said, “Want to get in my car and make out?”
Keely laughed. “Yes, please. Oh, but what about our neighbors?”
Sebastian kissed the tip of her nose. “I should be going. You and I both have to work tomorrow.” He stood.
Keely stood, too, and studied his face. “I don’t want you to leave.”
“I know. Me, too. But your mother is right inside.” Sebastian pulled her to him in a warm, friendly embrace. When he spoke, his breath ruffled through her hair. “We’ve got lots of issues to deal with. And now that you’re back here, we don’t have to rush. I don’t want a fantasy, Keely. I want a real life, and that takes time. And we’ve got time.”
He kissed her mouth. And pulled away from her when the kiss grew too intense.
“I’ve got to go.”
Keely walked Sebastian to his car, kissed him lightly, and waved at him as he drove away.
She returned to the house in a happy, dreamy mood. Her mother was once again in a television trance, but Keely left her alone. Eloise had been pleasant that evening, and she had tidied the kitchen. Great, Keely thought. I sound like I’m her mother.
She returned to the patio, settled in a chair, and let her mind drift. The light was gone from the sky, but the moon was waning and the stars dotted the sky like freckles.
Her cell was on the table. When it buzzed, she jumped, startled out of her reverie.
“Hey,” a man said.
“Gray!”
“You sound surprised.”
“I think I am surprised. I’m just sitting out here, alone, stargazing.” Why did she tell him she was alone? Why did she feel relieved that she was alone right now?
“I’m going to surprise you even more.”
“My seatbelt is fastened.”
“I’m coming to the island.”
She sat up straight in her chair. “What? When?”
“The day after tomorrow. I’ve made my flight reservations, and don’t worry, I wouldn’t dream of imposing on you. I’ve got reservations at the White Elephant. A room with a view.”
“Well…yes, that’s one of the best hotels on the island.”
“Keely, you don’t sound happy about this.”
“I’m just surprised, Gray. And my mother is still…depressed, and I’m working hard on my book, I’m right in the middle of it, and I’ve got so much going on…”
“I’ve scheduled leave from the hospital. I can’t rearrange. I thought you’d be glad.”
“I’m not not glad,” Keely said weakly. “I’m just…I’m not sure how much time I’ll be able to spend with you, Gray.”
“Okay, how about this. I’ll let you have the days to yourself if you’ll be with me for dinner and the evening. And, if you like, part or all of the night.”
Keely stood up and paced around the patio. She felt angry and touched by Gray’s announcement. She was annoyed with herself, too. After all, she had phoned him just the other night after she saw Sebastian with the blonde. She had been affectionate and warm. She had talked as if she and Gray were a couple.
Still, why hadn’t he called her first to find out if it was a good time for him to come to Nantucket? And would there ever be a good time for him to come to Nantucket? Should she tell him about Sebastian? Or would that be assuming too much too soon about her relationship with Sebastian? But even if things didn’t work out with her and Sebastian, did she really want a future with Gray? Could she truly love him? Marry him? Live with him?
“Are you still there, Keely?”
“Yes, sorry. I’m trying to remember my schedule for the next few days. Also, I have to check with my mother about her plans…Gray, let me call you back tomorrow.”
“Are you saying you don’t want me to come to Nantucket?”
“No. Maybe. I don’t know. It’s such a busy time…”
“Are you involved with Tommy again?”
“God, no! I haven’t set eyes on Tommy. I know I’ll have to see him sometime, but I don’t have feelings for him anymore, I promise.” As she spoke, Keely felt like a creep for talking about Tommy and not saying a word about Sebastian.
“I know what’s happened, Keely.”
“You do?” She stopped her pacing, suddenly overcome with guilt.
“You’ve fallen in love with the island again. You’ve become an island girl and turned your back on the city.”
“Maybe you’re right,” Keely said, grateful for his reasoning.
“That’s why I definitely need to come out there and remind you of all you’ve got waiting for you in the city.”
“Or, or, I could come in for a few days,” Keely said desperately.
“How soon?” Gray asked. “I really miss you, Keely.”
She nearly bent double with shame to hear such a reserved man speaking to her with honest emotion.
“I miss you, too, Gray.” She had to say that. She couldn’t not say that. If she were going to break it off with him, she couldn’t do it over the phone.
“I’m glad. Then I’m coming.”
Keely tried to sound normal. “Gray, tell me what you’ve done this week, at the hospital, I mean.”
“It was a busy week. And a good one. I removed a tumor from a six-week-old boy. It was benign, thank God. I also repaired and rebuilt the face of a two-year-old who’d been in a car accident. And—” He sounded sure of himself, and yes, a bit smug, and he deserved his pride for changing the lives of such tiny human bodies.
As he spoke, it occurred to her that her mother would love to talk with Gray about his work. She would be able to understand the technical side of it. She could speak his language, and it would cheer her enormously to be able to be back in that world of the hospital again, her world.
“Gray,” she said impulsively, “I’d love it if one night we could take my mother out to dinner. She’s a nurse, you know, and she’d be fascinated by all this.”
“I’d be very glad to meet your mother,” Gray said solemnly.
Oh, rats, Keely thought. He completely misinterpreted her reason for wanting her mother to meet him. But it was too late now.
“Good,” Keely replied.
“But not the first night I’m there. Let’s have the first night to ourselves. We need some time alone together.”
“I know.” Keely injected warmth into her voice.
“All right, then. I’ll email you my flight information. I’ve reserved a car at the airport. I’ll call you once I’ve checked into the hotel.”
“Great!” Keely said. She wanted to hit her head against the side of the house. “See you soon.”
After their call ended, Keely had to move. She walked around her mother’s garden. The flowers and shrubs were in shades of gray because of the lack of light, but their fragrances were strong.
She forced herself to think about Gray. About making love with him. He was a careful lover, as restrained in passion as he was in the rest of his life. He was diligent about pleasing her, but that very quality irritated Keely. She found him manipulative, as if he considered her similar to one of his patients. She did enjoy being with him, and he did take her places she’d never dreamed of going. But she didn’t love him. And she had to tell him that.
Her heart ached. Her head ached. She was exhausted and a little bit terrified.
She went into the house and joined her mother as they watched Jimmy Fallon’s late night show.
The next morning, she turned off her phone, made a pot of strong coffee, and sat down at her computer. Work had always been a helpful escape for her from hurt, anticipation, disappointment, and even hope. It was the blessing the gods had given to writers to make up for the curse of living a schizophrenic life, swerving between the isolation needed for work and the fellowship needed for life.
After three hours, she was drained, without another imaginative thought in her head. She dressed in running clothes, waved to her mother, who was once again watching two hyperactive women talk on television, and set off for her run. Her mother’s house was not in the historic district of town. It was a kind of quiet suburb with no views of the sea or the moors. But as Keely ran, she noticed the dreamily purple-blue hydrangea, the New Dawn roses climbing up a lattice attached to a porch, the gleaming brass door knockers, the window boxes overflowing with flowers, the stone bird bath, the two old women sitting and laughing side by side in a garden, drinking tea from teacups, not mugs. The longhaired cat she often saw was sitting in his spot in the window. She waved at him. He was not impressed. It was quiet, except for the occasional sound of lawn mowers, and with the sound came the exceptionally sweet fragrance of newly mown grass.
She returned home dripping, waved at her mother, and headed into the shower. Often when she ran, she returned home with a solution to a problem, but today she was as confused as when she started.
One day at a time, she told herself. One problem at a time.
Did that mean she considered Gray a problem? Well, yes, she did. Also, she had to tell Sebastian that Gray was coming, and what would that mean? How much would Keely like it if Ebba dropped by the island to visit Sebastian?
She would hate it. She’d be beside herself with jealousy. She’d do something irrational and completely idiotic, like going to a bar and picking up some old high school buddy and going to bed with him.
But she had to think seriously about whatever was going on with Sebastian. It felt like he was headed toward a lifetime commitment. Toward marriage? Her thoughts were racing.
If she was with Sebastian, Isabelle and Tommy, Keely’s first love, would always be in her life. And so would perfect, smug, patronizing Donna Maxwell. Oooh, Donna would not be thrilled about Keely marrying her darling first child.
Plus, there was the unspoken issue of money. Sebastian made his living with his print shop. He couldn’t make a fortune selling his scrimshaw. That was a small specialized market. While Keely made a very nice living from her writing. Amazing, yes, and something she couldn’t count on because publishing was such an unstable business, and personal tastes were so unpredictable. Look at her now, writing like a mad thing revising her novel to satisfy Juan.
Fiona had told her that her new novel had no heart. She said Keely needed to be on Nantucket to regain the power of her emotions and creativity.
Fiona had been right. But could she stay here if she and Sebastian didn’t somehow join their lives together?
Could she stay here if she had Dreadful Donna Maxwell as her mother-in-law?
Certainly she couldn’t stay here if she married Gray, but she could visit here, and then she wouldn’t need to see the Maxwells except accidentally. But on the other hand, she wanted to renew her friendship with Isabelle. That was important to Keely for so many reasons.
What should she do?
First of all, she had to get her mother up and moving. That was one goal she could achieve.
Next, she would talk to Sebastian about Gray tonight. She would tell Sebastian that Gray was coming to the island. That no matter what happened between Keely and Sebastian—Sebastian was not to feel obligated by this—Keely was going to end things with Gray.
As soon as the thought popped into her head, Keely was swept with a sense of relief so palpable it seemed she’d drunk an elixir. It would be difficult talking to Gray, and it wouldn’t be that much fun telling Sebastian tonight, but she was determined to do it.
Clouds rolled in overhead that afternoon. The sky was dark, and a wind came up, tossing the trees, tearing petals from plants. Keely worked with her mother in the basement. They were almost finished there, and they didn’t want to go out in the unsettled weather. They could tell that any minute a fury of rain would plunge down, driving summer people and day-trippers and islanders alike into the safety of shelter.
Of course Eloise was ready to settle in front of the TV again, but Keely had a brainstorm.
“Mom, I’ve set my computer up on the kitchen table. Get your laptop and sit next to me and we’ll go shopping. You could use some new clothes.”
“Keely, I don’t have the money for new clothes. Or any reason to wear them, for that matter.”
“Well, I have the money to buy you a few things, and as long as I’m here, you’ll have lots of places to wear them. Art openings, theater, movies, galas…Come on. Join me. We’ll have fun.”
Keely made a pot of Earl Grey tea and poured them each a cup, set on a saucer, to elevate her mother’s mood. Eloise’s clothes were practical and comfortable. She wore clogs. She wore shapeless tops in neutral colors, as if she were trying hard not to be seen. She wore no jewelry except her wedding ring. Keely showed Eloise some clothing sites and suggested, gently, new possibilities.
“Oh, those are far too young for me,” her mother protested.
So Keely dragged her reluctant mother into her bedroom, took out the few dresses she’d brought from New York, and insisted Eloise try them on. Eloise carried more weight than Keely, and her weeks of inactivity had made her plump and baggy, so she insisted nothing of Keely’s would fit her.
Keely persisted. She managed to pull one of her looser sundresses over her mother, and all at once her mother smiled.
“This is a pretty dress,” Eloise admitted.
“Okay, wait.” Keely searched through her jewelry box and brought out a pair of small multicolored earrings. “Like? Or maybe this necklace?”
“I wouldn’t feel comfortable in too much jewelry,” Eloise said.
“Yeah, but look at this.” Keely slipped a necklace over Eloise’s head. “It’s so casual, and playful, all those little silver hearts and flowers. It’s so summery.” Keely laughed. “I have a genius idea. Let’s order this dress for you and we can have mother-daughter dresses.”
“Oh, silly,” Eloise chided, but she continued to preen in front of the full-length mirror, getting accustomed to the sight of herself in a pretty dress.
They spent the afternoon playing dress-up. Keely ordered several things online for her mother, including a luxuriously flowered silk robe. It would be one giant step to sanity to get her mother out of her hideous stained relic.
The rain continued to sheet down. It was one of those days that seemed like twilight all day long. Before Keely knew it, it was after five. Eloise collapsed in front of the television. Keely went into the privacy of her room to call Sebastian.
He didn’t answer.
Probably with a customer, Keely thought. She hoped that while she’d been shopping with her mother her own little brain would have worked out exactly how to deal with Gray without hurting him. But she knew she had to break it off with him in person, face-to-face. Which meant she had to talk with Sebastian about where they were headed as a couple. As much as she loved Sebastian, had always loved him, she was older and wiser now, and much had happened between her and Isabelle. What did Keely want? Could she live with Sebastian in an apartment above his shop? Could she bear to spend Sunday lunches with the family, with Donna Maxwell subtly insulting her?
Right now she had to focus on telling Sebastian that Gray was coming to the island. She would promise that she wasn’t in love with Gray, and wouldn’t sleep with him but would have a serious breakup conversation with him. Still, it would be awkward, talking to Sebastian about this.
Her phone buzzed. Sebastian!
“Sorry I didn’t answer right away. Listen, Keely, I’m sort of in a zone right now. I’m working on my scrimshaw piece, the one with the tall ships in a storm. I’d like to keep at it. Could I take a rain check on tonight?”
“Rain check sounds appropriate,” Keely joked. She was both disappointed and relieved. “Of course, Sebastian. I know how it feels to be in the zone. I’ll spend the evening with my mom. She’ll like that.”
“Good. I’ll call you later.”
Keely made a delicious mac and cheese and crispy green beans and a salad for dinner. She ate in front of the television so her mother could watch Jeopardy! Later, she persuaded her mother to play gin rummy with her at the kitchen table. When her mother drifted back to an old black-and-white movie, Keely decided she’d been a good enough daughter for the day and curled up in her room with a mystery.
The next morning, her phone woke her at six. Sebastian. Ha, Keely thought, he misses me.
“Hi, Sebastian,” she said, her voice hoarse with sleep. She hoped she sounded sexy.
“Keely, I’m sorry to wake you, but my father had a stroke last night.”