Very British WIT

Have you heard of the country whose schools have banned the use of egg boxes and loo rolls in craft lessons as they pose a health risk (they could be carrying salmonella, don't you know), and removed pear trees from a picturesque lane because they were too dangerous?

• A city council removed the conkers from dozens of horse chestnut trees, fearing for the safety of tree climbers searching for the ultimate sixer.
• Police community support officers giving talks on cycle safety were banned from cycling to schools to give them until they had passed a test and exam.
• After falling in the prison shower, a career criminal was compensated £248,000, including a substantial amount 'for lost earnings'.

If you find yourself grimacing at the stupidity of health and safety gone mad you'll love this collection of idiotic interventions and ridiculous rules that have come into play to keep us from harm. WARNING: This book should only be used by those trained in lifting books and turning pages. May induce laughter – read with caution and at your own risk.

POLITICAL WIT

Quips and Quotes from the Back Benches and Beyond

Steven Gauge

ISBN: 978 1 78372 517 5 (ePub), 978 1 78372 516 8 (Mobi)

Order, order!

After a long day at the dispatch box, when your honourable friend's white paper has made you feel green and your poll ratings have slumped to a new low, hunker down in Speakers' Corner with this grand coalition of political quips and quotes – you'll be ready to take on the opposition at any time!

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