Below
THE
BELT
This woman did not fly to extremes; she lived there.
SHE HAD MUCH IN COMMON WITH HITLER, ONLY NO MOUSTACHE.
He brings to the fierce struggle of politics the tepid enthusiasm of a lazy summer afternoon at a cricket match.
THE RIGHT HONOURABLE GENTLEMAN IS REMINISCENT OF A POKER. THE ONLY DIFFERENCE IS THAT A POKER GIVES OFF THE OCCASIONAL SIGNS OF WARMTH.
There are two ways to dislike poetry: one is to dislike it; the other is to read Pope.
NATURE, NOT CONTENT WITH DENYING HIM THE ABILITY TO THINK, HAS ENDOWED HIM WITH THE ABILITY TO WRITE.
The tautness of his face sours ripe grapes.
She was a large woman who seemed not so much dressed as upholstered.
SHE PLUNGED INTO A SEA OF PLATITUDES, AND WITH THE POWERFUL BREASTSTROKE OF A CHANNEL SWIMMER, MADE HER CONFIDENT WAY TOWARDS THE WHITE CLIFFS OF THE OBVIOUS.
He had occasional flashes of silence that made his conversation perfectly delightful.
THOU HAST NO MORE BRAIN THAN I HAVE IN MINE ELBOWS.
You’ve got the subtlety of a bullfrog.
WHY DON’T YOU GET A HAIRCUT? YOU LOOK LIKE A CHRYSANTHEMUM.
He couldn’t see a belt without hitting below it.
WHY DON’T YOU WRITE BOOKS PEOPLE CAN READ?
Only dull people are brilliant at breakfast.
IS HE JUST DOING A BAD ELVIS POUT, OR WAS HE BORN THAT WAY?
He would kill his own mother just so that he could use her skin to make a drum to beat his own praises.
DID YOUR MOTHER NEVER TELL YOU NOT TO DRINK ON AN EMPTY HEAD?
His impact on history would be no more than the whiff of scent on a lady’s handkerchief.
DO THOU AMEND THY FACE, AND I’LL AMEND MY LIFE.
If Kitchener was not a great man, he was at least, a great poster.
A gentleman is
NEVER RUDE EXCEPT
ON PURPOSE.
I SEE HER AS ONE GREAT STAMPEDE OF LIPS DIRECTED AT THE NEAREST DERRIÈRE.
In defeat unbeatable; in victory unbearable.
IF I SAY THAT HE IS EXTREMELY STUPID, I DON’T MEAN THAT IN A DEROGATORY SENSE. I SIMPLY MEAN THAT HE’S NOT VERY INTELLIGENT.