I had expected Jem to be chatty and enthusiastic after her trip to the museum but she was a bit subdued. The little cat – Hermione – was investigating the kitchen and Jem sat down on the floor so she could stroke her.
‘Oh, Jem, it’s freezing on those tiles,’ I said. ‘Bring her into the living room where it’s warmer.’
Obediently, Jem scooped up the kitty and we went into the other room. Hermione padded around on her little paws, getting her bearings. Jem and I watched like indulgent parents.
‘Did you get her a proper collar?’ Jem asked.
‘I did, but I think we should wait until we get her checked at the vet, and find out if she’s microchipped,’ I said.
Jem rolled her eyes. She was being very odd. Prickly. I sat down on the sofa next to where she was on the floor, and played with her ponytail.
‘Is everything okay?’ I said. ‘Did you find out anything else interesting at the museum?’
‘Heather’s going to try to find out what happened to the Setons,’ she said.
I tugged her hair gently. ‘What’s up, Jem?’
She looked up at me, and I thought she might be about to cry.
‘I told Cassie,’ she said.
‘Told her what?’
‘About Dad.’
‘Oh, Jem.’
She scrambled to her feet, and stood in front of me, bristling with sadness and defiance and teenage indignation.
‘She’s my friend.’
‘I know.’ I wanted to reach out to her but she was so nervy I thought she might bolt upstairs if I touched her. So instead I just said: ‘What did she say?’
Jem gave a tiny smile. ‘She wasn’t bothered.’
I relaxed a fraction. ‘Good.’ I patted the sofa cushion next to me. ‘Sit.’
Reluctantly, Jem perched on the edge of the settee and I pulled her into my arms, where she stayed stiffly but didn’t wriggle away. ‘I know Cassie’s your friend and she seems absolutely lovely, but can you trust her not to mention this to anyone else?’
‘She promised.’
‘A proper promise or one of yours?’ I teased, crossing my fingers and waving them in front of her face.
‘A proper one.’ Jem was too cross with me, with her dad, with the situation, to respond well to teasing. I put my hand down and squeezed her a bit tighter. ‘I understand why you told her, sweetheart.’
‘I just didn’t like having a secret.’
‘I know.’ I paused. ‘I love that you’ve settled in so well here and that you’ve made friends. I was just thinking earlier that we made a good decision when we chose to move here.’
‘But?’
I sighed. She knew me well, my daughter. ‘But we still have to be careful.’
‘But—’
I stopped her before she could protest. ‘But nothing. Your dad did a very bad thing. Lots of bad things. And people are angry because they felt like they knew him. They trusted him and they liked him.’
‘I liked him.’
My heart tightened and I pulled her closer to me again. ‘I know, sweetheart. So did I. And some of those people think I should be punished for what he did as well.’
‘Because of your tweet.’
I stared at her. I’d never really known how much Jem had taken in what was going on, but I realized in a flash how naive I’d been. She had a laptop and a phone and those girls at her school – Madeleine and her hangers-on – would have made sure she knew the details. Now I nodded. ‘Because of my tweet.’
‘I reckon some people would have had it in for you anyway,’ Jem said astutely. ‘Because women are always blamed for what men do.’
‘Where did you hear that?’
She shrugged. ‘We had an assembly on victim blaming. It’s true.’
‘I suppose it is.’ I kissed her head. ‘But whatever the reason, there were a lot of angry people and they wanted to frighten me, and they succeeded. Perhaps they wouldn’t ever have gone through with their threats, but I don’t want to risk finding out how serious they were.’
Jem nodded. ‘I know what they did,’ she said. ‘I know about them posting our address online and the pictures of me and stuff.’
‘God, Jem.’ I was appalled that she’d been sitting on all this knowledge and never spoken to me about it. ‘God.’
‘I’m not scared,’ she said. ‘Because you’re here. And I know you’ll look after me.’
‘I will.’ I felt the weight of that responsibility pressing down on me. ‘We just have to be a bit careful about who we tell, Jem.’
‘I know.’
‘Don’t tell anyone else. Not unless we’ve talked about it first.’
‘I’m not going to announce it in form time, if that’s what you’re worried about.’
‘Just, remember that not everyone’s as nice as Cassie,’ I said, thinking how sad it was that Jem had to learn these lessons when she was still so young.
‘I will,’ she said. ‘I promise.’
She waggled her fingers in front of my face to show they weren’t crossed and I laughed, glad that the moment of tension between us had gone. It felt very important to me that Jem and I were united. If we didn’t have each other, then I thought everything might just fall apart.