Part of him – the distant part – knew what he was doing when he tried so very hard to please them. But he still couldn’t stop himself.
Look at me, am I not a good boy?
Watch while I play with other children and demonstrate that I’m a credit to you both.
Listen while the teachers praise me for my hard work and attention.
What he was doing was really not that much different from the other kids. Putting on a performance to please the grown-ups, then, when out of sight and earshot, behaving in ways that demonstrated a conscience was yet to develop.
And while the compliant part of him did what he could to win smiles from the adults, the distant part watched on, like a cat curled up in the corner, with its tail over its nose, one eye open.
Waiting for just the right moment.
And the right target.