Josh made it only a few steps into the white-walled, fluorescent-lit hallway before he stopped. Walking off with Rose angry made his insides burn.
He turned back. For a minute, they stared at each other. His mouth opened and closed in time with the frustrated pounding in his chest, unable to work out the right words. They needed to talk this out. Getting naked and having angry almost-sex every time they saw each other wouldn’t work. But what could he say that wouldn’t make things worse?
His phone buzzed. “Shit.”
A backlog of texts flooded his screen. Messages from David, beginning with asking if it was okay to let Harrison have a soda, and ending with Seriously, where the hell are you?? Harris is bored. And worried. One message appeared from Amelia, confirming their meeting for Tuesday. The net result was a bucket of ice-cold water over Josh’s libido.
Carnal wants forgotten, Josh spun with an earsplitting squeak of his heel on the shiny floor. Thank goodness that nurse hadn’t been around to hear or he might be frog marched out of the hospital. “You’re right,” he said to Rose. “I do have to go.”
With that, he turned for the elevators to find his brother and his kid. As he walked away, his heart did an uncomfortable little two-step. His brain, equally uneasy, insisted he should have said something else before walking away. Something better. Something nicer.
What was the right thing to say to the woman he’d screwed over and then nearly screwed again. Twice now? Later babe seemed likely to get him slapped. Can we do this again sometime? Same. Call me would probably get him blocked from her phone. And then also slapped.
Josh sighed. Years ago, Rose had been the start of what he believed could be the rest of his life. Aside from her, he’d had one serious relationship, and that was Kara.
The thing with Rose, it had been a brief, glorious few months, but for the first time he’d wanted more. The-rest-of-their-lives more. Kara had thrown him a post-breakup curveball though, and now his life wasn’t set up for dating or getting serious with any woman.
Christ, what the fuck was he thinking with Rose? Maybe the long, dry span since he’d last been laid had made his head fuzzy. Because of Harrison, Josh couldn’t do this sort of thing without consequence. Especially not with her.
He needed to remember what he’d come to Virginia for. He’d come for his family. He’d come to get closure. Rocking the boat with Rose would most likely get him a bonfire made out of his clothes while she walked away, laughing.
“Josh. Wait.” Rose’s heels clicked quietly on the floor behind him, her shorter legs hustling to catch up.
He turned. “Rose, I’m sorry. You’re right. I need to go, and this,” he gestured between the two of them, “isn’t what I was trying to accomplish. I wanted to apologize, and I have. I wanted to be sure you understood why I’d disappeared. You say that you do. As much as I might want it, nothing good can come from you and me getting involved again, so let’s try just to be friendly for the sake of Dave and Vicky. I’ll be out of your hair as soon as my nephew is born.”
Her mouth dropped. Not wanting a knee to the balls, he spun and made his way down the hall. A little faster this time. A few speedy clicks followed. Then, the footsteps stopped. Part of him wanted to know why she’d given up, but it was best that she had.
He shot a text to his brother. Sorry. Had to hit the bathroom. I’m on my way up
David’s reply: Dude. I keep telling you. More. Fiber.
Josh laughed and shook his head. The bathroom was a handy excuse. His sanity saver, of sorts. The one place, now that Harrison was old enough to be on his own for a few minutes, that he could take a quick timeout. Get some peace and quiet. Something that had been even more crucial since he’d been staying with David and his baby-mama-to-be. He loved his brother, but sometimes a person needed solitude. Dave would learn soon enough.
Nerves made it tough to stand still as he rode the elevator to the maternity ward. No question, he’d have to look Rose in the eye again sooner or later. Likely sooner, since her destination was Vicky’s room. For now, he just needed to check on Harrison.
Even though his son was almost ten, Josh still got squirmy and guilty letting the kid out of his sight for long. After all, Kara had walked out the door and the next time he’d seen her was in a hospital morgue. Losing Harrison was Josh’s single greatest fear. This trip was putting his sanity through its paces.
His brother waited outside of his ex-wife’s room. “Harris is in there watching videos on my phone. Mostly zombie movies and porn.”
“Take him to a strip club yet?”
“Maybe for his birthday.”
Josh shook his head but managed a smile. “Hey. Seriously. Thanks for keeping an eye on him for a little while.”
David shrugged, hand shoved in his pocket as Josh himself tended to do when he needed to seem relaxed but wasn’t. “I know it isn’t easy for you to get a break. I’m happy to help out when I can.”
Josh tried not to be aware of every set of footsteps that came near. Still, each tap and click and feminine voice left him twitching to look around for Rose. At some point the woman he still tasted on his tongue would walk up, and he needed to be able to look her in the eye as if he hadn’t recently been in front of her on his knees.
“Thanks, man. But…” His eyelid twitched. Slowly at first, and then gaining speed. Geez. Still no sign of Rose. He’d assumed she’d be up shortly behind him.
Josh rubbed at the offending eyelid. “Thing is, I came here to spend time with you guys before the baby.” Mostly. “Not to hit you up for free childcare.”
Still no Rose. Where was she? And why did he care?
You know why. Dumbass.
“He’s a good kid, Joshie. I don’t mind. I’d like to get more time with my nephew. Hear more about the imaginary superhero force he’s creating. Anyway, it’s good practice.”
Josh huffed a laugh. “A newborn is nothing like a third grader.”
David winked. “You don’t say.” His brother put a hand on his arm. “I’m serious, though. It’s great that you came. I miss you. It’s not right that I haven’t seen Harris since he was in preschool.”
“I know. It’s a lot, traveling with him. Especially with this job. I’ve been at the company for years and you’d think I’m still on probation, the way my boss rides my ass.”
Dave frowned. “Not to piss you off, but… You’ve still got that offer from Michael.”
Don’t say it, Dave.
Josh winced. “I don’t think so.”
In their father’s will, their half-brother Michael had gotten their father’s software company. Dave had gotten a chunk of cash. Josh had gotten a fucking horse farm down south, of all things. As if he was supposed to quit his job and buy himself a mustang and some chaps? It had hurt at first, that Michael got their father’s legacy, but Josh had mostly let it go. Single fatherhood kept him too busy to run a company, and Northern Virginia was too crowded for Josh’s liking.
He needed a job that allowed flexibility and time for Harrison. That was his priority.
David considered Josh. When it seemed like he might argue further, he pulled his phone from his back pocket and squinted at the screen. “Rose is down at the gift shop. I’m going to ask her to bring Vick some more bottled water. She’s so picky lately she swears the tap water in this hospital tastes like chlorine. You want anything?”
From Rose? So many things.
“N-no. Actually, we should get going. I told Harris I’d take him to the zoo this afternoon.” He stuck his head into the room. “Hey, kid. Give uncle David his phone back. We have to run.”
From the bed, Vicky’s eyes widened. “You’re leaving already?”
He gripped his son’s shoulder. Harrison tolerated the contact for a full three seconds before he twisted away, something that both made Josh proud and gave him heartburn.
Only a few weeks ago his son had held his hand on the walk to school. Now? Suddenly he was too grown-up for affection from Dad. Unless he’d had a bad dream.
“I’m gonna take Harrison back to your place so we can gather up our things and head to a hotel.”
Both Vicky and David began to protest, but he cut them off with a wave of his hand. “Vicky, you need your rest when you get home. I’m happy to come over during the day, feed the cat, help Dave put together the crib, or whatever. You’re going to be on bed rest. It’ll be easier for you to do the resting part without us there.”
Vicky pulled a face. “I don’t need rest. I’m already bored.”
Josh smiled. “Get it while you can. Trust me.” He tapped his son’s shoulder again. “Okay, buddy. Let’s go see if we can find a place with a pool.”
“Yay!” Harris ran for the door. Guaranteed way to get his son to do anything. Promise him pizza or swimming.
“Hey, kiddo, wait for your dad.” Josh trailed along behind Harris, who zoomed down the bright hallway with little regard for other pedestrians. As much as he’d worked on his son’s manners, the lessons hadn’t stuck. It was these little things that made him question his ability to be a father. Many things made him question himself. Everything, really. On a daily basis.
“Dad, can we stop for a shake? Aunt Vick says there’s a place that makes them with coconut ice cream.”
“Uncle Dave said he already let you have sugar at lunch.”
“Only a little.”
“How much is a lit— Oh.” Josh was brought up short when he rounded a corner to find Rose right there in front of him.
“Oh.” Rose pulled up short as well. Immediately, she glanced away.
Well, as long as it’s not suddenly uncomfortable to talk to each other or anything.
He wanted to force her to look at him, but Harrison had run ahead to the elevators. “Shit. Damn. I have to— Sorry…I have to go. Talk to you later, okay?”
This wasn’t quite what he’d meant when he suggested they could be friendly. Nothing redefined a guy’s social life like having kids.
“Sure. Fine. I just wanted to let you know—”
Josh was already walking away. “Sorry,” he said again. “Last time Harrison got on an elevator without me, I couldn’t find him for an hour.”
The ding of elevator doors and the bustle of people urged him into a jog. He raced to catch up, trying not to wonder what Rose had been about to say to him.
So much for clearing the air. Every time he tried to talk to Rose, things got more confusing.
“Tell me more about this date you had last night.”
Rose hated to lie. Especially to her best friend.
“Oh, it was… You know. Disappointing. He said I had a big ass—not in the complimentary way, either—and then seemed to think we should skip dinner and head straight to the sex. I’ve had worse.”
Victoria laughed, patting her belly and making a “loser” gesture over her forehead. “At least he wasn’t that guy who kept shouting that you couldn’t call yourself an animal lover since you didn’t own any animals.”
Rose sighed. “Or the one who argued that I’d already destroyed my life because I worked in corporate America.”
Josh never tried to tell me I needed to be someone different. He’s the only guy who didn’t.
Damn. Victoria was still talking. What was she saying? “I’m sorry?”
Victoria shook her head. “Everything seems to be coming up assholes. Hey, are you okay? You’re extra distracted.”
“Oh, sure. Fine, I mean. Totally fine.” Rose forced a laugh. “You know what they say. You’ve got to kiss a lot of frogs to find one that’s not a total d-bag.”
“I don’t think that’s how that saying goes.”
“Close enough. Okay. So.” Rose clasped her hands. “I should get back to finish up at the office, but I brought you some trashy magazines and lots of chocolate to help get you through your convalescence. I know you’ll have Dave at your beck and call.” She reached over to pat her friend on the arm. “You’ll be fine.”
Vicky thumped her head against her pillow. “This just couldn’t be worse timing. I have a company to run. I can’t spend the next two or three weeks in bed.”
“You were going to take time off for the baby anyway. It’s a little earlier, that’s all. We’ll work it out. Shuffle some things around. You can do meetings by conference call. It’ll be fine.”
Vicky let out a sigh. “I hope so. This is a bad time for me to suddenly realize I’ve bitten off more than I can chew.”
Rose uncapped a water bottle and handed it to her friend. “Stress isn’t going to help.”
“You’re right. As usual. Oh! Hey. So, Josh is in town. Just thought you should know.” Victoria took a drink of water and wrinkled her nose. At the drink or at mentioning Josh? Hard to say. “I would’ve warned you, but Dave ‘forgot’ to tell me he was coming until the last minute, and I was too busy running errands and making up the guest room to remember you didn’t know yet.”
Rose deserved a medal for her lack of reaction. “Of course he’s here. He wants to meet the baby.” Which sounded way better than I know, I’ve already seen him. Naked. Again.
“After everything he put you through, I just thought you’d want some warning. You should see his kid, though. Completely adorable. He’s so funny, and he loves animals. Talks nonstop about turtles and pigs. Oh, and superheroes.”
“Oh. Well, you know me and kids.” Rose wrinkled her nose, but then forced a smile to combat her friend’s frown. “I don’t mean your kid. Your kid will be awesome. We’ll have the best time and I’ll teach him or her all about the evils of mass food production.”
Josh’s son had seemed pretty cute, if Rose was being honest with herself. Not that it really mattered. She had no reason to get to know him.
Victoria stuck her tongue out at Rose. “Uh-huh. Maybe we should start with the alphabet, though. At any rate, Josh is going to be in town for a little while, so I hope it won’t be weird.”
“Weird? Please.” Couldn’t possibly get weirder.
Her fingers brushed the folded paper in her purse. The one she’d found on the floor after Josh had speed-walked away from their little encounter. She hadn’t read it, but she kind of wanted to. Her gaze scanned the cozy hospital room, avoiding eye contact with her friend. “Might be nice to say hello. Get some closure.”
“Yeah, I was kind of hoping you two might have the chance to talk. You know, try to bury the hatchet.”
They’d certainly tried to bury something. “Absolutely. You’re so right.”
Rose’s phone beeped. She pulled it out to see a missed call from her sister. “Huh. Lily’s calling. Weird. She already told me in no uncertain terms to fuck off and die.”
Victoria craned her neck to see. “Maybe it was an accidental dial. Was it really that bad talking to her last night?”
“It definitely was not good. Said she wanted me to finally hear her when she said to stop calling and stay out of her life.” That one had stung. “She clearly still blames me for what happened in college.”
“That wasn’t your fault. That’s all on Ronnie.”
Rose shrugged. “It’s not as if she’s going to blame him. They’re still together.”
“You guys are family. She needs to get over it.”
Rose laughed. “I don’t think that’s her perspective.”
“I’m just saying it’s ridiculous for her to still hold a grudge after all this—”
A nurse bustled in, looking put out by Rose’s presence. “I hope nobody in here is getting too excited. We need to keep your blood pressure down, missy.”
Victoria flashed an overly bright smile. “I’m great. Never better.”
The nurse shoved Rose aside. “I need to check her vitals.”
Victoria sat up straighter. “I’m fine.”
“Mmm-hmm.”’
Rose inched closer to the door. “I need to go, anyway.”
Victoria clapped her hands together. “Wait! Rose. Buddy. Love of my life…”
Rose raised her eyebrows. “Are you about to ask me to do something that’s going to make me want to throttle you?”
The nurse pointed a finger. “No throttling.”
Victoria grinned. “No! Maybe. It’s just… I know you and Josh have an uncomfortable history, but…Josh has some errand or something to take care of while he’s in town, and David and I were supposed to watch Harrison. But with me being on bed rest, and David—”
“Someone say my name?” The procreator in question swaggered into the room.
The nurse put her hands to her hips. “Too many people. Way too many people.”
“I was just telling Rose how it would be so helpful if she could take Harrison when Josh had to go to that meeting of his next week.”
Dave shook his head. “Rose hates kids.”
“I do not.” Rose gave David a stern look. “Just because I don’t want to have any doesn’t mean I hate them. It’s just that they’re dirty, smelly, and hard to communicate with. Like tiny drunken Neanderthals.”
“Josh doesn’t need Rose to watch Harrison,” Dave insisted. “Plenty of people can watch Harrison.”
Okay. David wasn’t always Rose’s favorite person, but today she wanted to kiss him.
Not one to be ignored, the nurse shoved Rose from the side. “This is way too much excitement. Your crazy friend needs to go.”
Victoria sat up. “Hey! My crazy friend can stay if she wants to.”
Awww. Victoria, God bless her, was a good friend.
A stern glare. “Either she goes, or your husband goes.”
Victoria blinked. “Oh, we’re not married.”
David’s face went pale.
Rose chuckled. “Right. Wow. I’ll go so you guys can explain that one to her.”
Dave and Victoria had gone to the extreme trouble of doing their relationship backward, getting pregnant together after getting a divorce. The situation left everyone scratching their heads. Rose found it hysterical. Dave could be smug and irritating, but he’d learned to make her friend happy.
Victoria pointed a finger. “You’re going to go to the office, aren’t you? You shouldn’t be working on a Saturday.”
Rose waved a hand toward her friend’s pregnant belly. “Worry about your thing. I’ll worry about mine.”
David followed Rose from the room. “Hey. Thanks for bringing the suitcase. And sorry about the Josh stuff. Victoria thinks you two would be happier if you kissed and made up.”
Well, we did the kissing part, anyway. Rose hoped her face wasn’t turning red.
“No worries. It’s all in the past.” Sort of. “And you’re welcome. I’m happy to help.”
She was happy to help. Still, all the talk about Josh made her throat tight. She waved hastily at Dave and made a beeline for the elevators before she could cave and blurt out the truth.