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When we make demons out of our yearnings, we block the flow of life.
-Master Fjeld
***
Oma wheeled in a silver cart from the entrance of the harem. As she pulled domed covers from steaming serving trays, Keralan could see it was their evening meal. There was a salad with nuts, flowers, and fruits, pureed soup with an herb garnish, a tray of sliced fruits, grilled vegetables with several dipping sauces, fluffy flatbread, and a pale-yellow sorbet. It was different from the meals Keralan was used to at home. She was grateful for the soup and bread because she didn't think she could stomach much else. The food was enticing enough, but her stomach still felt tight and upset.
The dishes themselves could have been served on a fancy table with silver and china, but the girls helped themselves and ate from simple white plates and bowls on the floor, nude. They chatted about things that Keralan didn't know anything about, but she was too tired and overwhelmed to care. After a few bites of bread, she downed some hot soup and said, "well, it has been a long day. I really appreciate the warm welcome, but I am just exhausted. I think I'll go to bed."
Mira jumped up quickly and said, "I'll show you to your room." She held out her hands. Trying not to stare at her naked body, Keralan took them and allowed Mira to pull her to her feet. The other girls said goodnight and Mira led her past a curtain to one of many doorways in the wall beyond. She opened the odd old-fashioned swing door and a light pulsed on automatically.
The room was very small. There was a single bed, a dresser with a mirror, and an open empty closet. No decorations were on the walls. Keralan could have cared less. She went to sit on the bed. Mira closed the door behind her and walked over to the dresser. She pulled open the top drawer and took a brush from within. To Keralan's surprise, she came to the bed and sat next to her. She took out the pins that held Keralan's hair up, one by one, and began to brush her hair. Coming from the large room, Keralan heard the harp being played. A bit later, the enchanting sounds of a flute joined in.
"I guess you are musically talented as well," Keralan said, feeling as if the girls were better than her in every way.
"Yes, some of us play, but men rarely ask it of us. That's Tian on the flute, and Finora on the harp. They play because they enjoy it. We all have our talents and hobbies."
Keralan could tell they played well. She had tried several musical instruments in the past, but none had captured her interest for long. Instead, she had settled on painting. She started to relax, thinking about her art projects at home. She loved to experiment with color. Her favorite projects were the full wall paintings she had done to give the corporate entertainment rooms a bit of energy. Her style was abstract and yet natural, using textures, lines, and dots to create a 'feeling' rather than a picture. The guest reception room, where her father met with visitors displayed her best work. She thought of the deep blues, teals, greens, and lavender as the gentle tug of the brush on her hair continued to pull all the stress from her body.
"Do you play an instrument?" Keralan asked, not having a better question at the ready.
"Hmmm, no, that's not my thing," she said.
"Well, what is?"
Mira sighed. "Well, if you must know, I like to read."
"Really? So do I."
"So, you're an introvert like me?" she asked, laughing gently.
Keralan smiled. It was true. She was a rather quiet person who enjoyed spending hours alone. She spent a lot of her free time reading old books, some of which were written in odd ways and in long forgotten dialects. One did have to have some tenacity to get through them, but at the heart of her enjoyment of reading such volumes was the sense of connection she had to another time and place. At times, she recognized that her longing for the old days held a hint of escapism. But everyone had their ways of dealing with the tedium of life, especially in such a boring place as Miliri.
Keralan answered, "I suppose. But I can be outgoing at times."
"Hmmm," Mira said.
"What kind of..." Keralan began but was interrupted midsentence by Mira shushing her. It was mildly rude, but Keralan stopped.
"There's no need to talk right now. Just relax."
Mira set the brush aside and moved her warm hands to Keralan's shoulders. She began to gently squeeze and smooth the muscles of her neck. At first, Keralan tensed up, but the movements were so firm, that it hurt. She finally gave in and relaxed.
"That's it, Keralan," Mira whispered. "Just let go."
Keralan breathed out, trying her best to do as Mira urged her, but it was odd to have someone touching her. It felt nice, and perhaps she needed it, but she wasn't accustomed to it. Back home, her father and Henry certainly didn't touch her in that way. Neither did her friends. That, combined with the fact that Mira was a nude stranger, made it difficult for her.
"So, you heard Oma," Mira's soft voice breathed into her ear, "we need to teach you everything you need to know. And that is considerable since you are a virgin." She continued massaging for a while and then said, "you are a concubine now, so you are going to have to get comfortable with many new things. And one of those things is," she paused, "being naked."
Keralan felt Mira's hands stop. She was startled to find her unbuttoning her shirt at the front. Mira did so very slowly, and Keralan, although she felt a rush of anxiety, allowed her to continue. The massage had calmed her just enough. Once her shirt was off, Mira worked at her skin-colored bra. Keralan felt it release. Mira pulled it away. She was topless. She hadn't ever been naked with anyone before.
"That's better," Mira whispered, "now stand up and let me look at you."
Keralan did as she was asked, suppressing the urge to cover herself. She knew she wasn't anything special to look at. She turned slowly while Mira looked on from the bed.
When Mira said nothing, Keralan felt compelled to ask, "is it bad?"
"Don't worry," Mira said, getting up, "Bilrah will be pleased. And anyways, men don't care as much about the details of the female body as you might think."
Keralan didn't know whether to be relieved or offended. She was sure that the unsightly details of her body would matter, quite a lot. She had no idea what men liked in a woman, but she knew that she did not look like the women in films and advertisements. She especially did not look like she belonged in Bilrah's harem.
Mira stood in front of her and said, "now how about this skirt?"
Mira gently placed her hands onto Keralan's waist. She slowly inched the thick stretchy material down her hips until it fell to the floor. Then she hooked her fingers around her panties and pulled them down too.
Mira turned her to the dresser mirror and moved behind her. She was half a head taller than Keralan.
"You see?" Mira said, "you are pretty." She moved her hands down from Keralan's shoulders slowly. Leisurely, she ran her glossy fingertips over her chest until she was fondling her breasts. Keralan began to breathe faster. It felt good and very wrong at the same time. No one had ever touched her like that before. Her nipples hardened under Mira's soft fingers. Warmth spread between her legs.
Mira whispered, "have you ever pleasured yourself?"
"I don't know what you mean," Keralan murmured, seeing her own face turn beet red in the mirror.
"Have you, you know...touched yourself, between your legs? If you had, you would know what I mean," Mira whispered into her ear. She moved one hand down Keralan's belly to the "v" where her legs met. "Like this?"
Keralan gasped at her touch. She saw Mira smiling, and then she began to slowly, softly kiss her neck. Keralan shook her head in answer, unable to speak. She didn't quite grasp what she meant, nor did she have any words for what was happening.
"I didn't think so," Mira answered with a smirk. She then led Keralan to the bed and told her to lie down. Keralan did so, keeping her legs together, her knees up. She watched Mira kneel by the bed and begin to kiss her skin, starting at one shoulder. She worked down to her breasts using her tongue to tease her nipples. Keralan was shocked, gasping again at the sensation of it. She knew it was horribly wrong and yet she couldn't help but savor it.
"Why are you doing this?" Keralan couldn't help but ask.
Without stopping what she was doing, Mira answered, "consider this...your first lesson. You must know pleasure...to give pleasure," she explained, kissing her belly.
"But..." Keralan started to protest.
Mira cut her off, "hush now. Relax. Give into it. Don't think," she said tapping Keralan's forehead.
Keralan frowned and attempted to let go. She understood that she would have to get used to her new life, but a heavy sense of shame nagged at her. What Mira was doing wasn't right. Not only was sexual touch foreign to Keralan, but it also seemed worse that it was happening with another girl.
Perhaps Mira could sense her unease, because she stopped and said, "Keralan. You're alright. Don't fight it. If it feels good, then it feels good. Pleasure is your birthright. It is okay to like it. It is okay to feel good. Men certainly don't feel guilty about it. They just take it when they want it. So, let go."
Something about what Mira said and the way she had said it, made sense to Keralan. No one had ever told her that pleasure was wrong. It wasn't like she had any choice, anyway. She was a sexual servant to Bilrah. She would soon have him between her legs whether it was right or wrong. Further, she decided that if she were going to have sex, why shouldn't she enjoy it?
At that, her resistance finally fell away, and once it did, she was free to confront the extent of her depravity. Mira's touch sent shivers of delight through her skin to deep inside. It was as if a slumbering animal awoke within her. She was absolutely starving for touch. Mira's hands were on her breasts. She was squeezing her nipples. She was kissing her thighs. Mira's hands were pulling her legs apart. Keralan did not resist. She was hungry for something she didn't understand.
Mira slid her hands slowly down her thighs. Soon they were between Keralan's legs. Her fingers brushed against something that was extremely sensitive. Keralan couldn't help but cry out and arch her back.
"This is your clit," Mira told her. Then her fingers moved lower. "This is your pussy." Mira looked into her eyes. Then with disbelief, Keralan watched Mira lower her face down, and began to kiss her there. As shocked as she was, Keralan felt completely helpless to the pleasure of it. It was unexpectedly exquisite and as compelling as anything she'd ever known. Mira's lips and breath were warm between her legs.
Keralan found herself unable to remain silent. She sighed involuntarily. Mira's tongue moved tantalizingly slowly at first. Then, when Keralan thought it couldn't get any better, she started flicking her tongue back and forth, faster and faster. The sensation became stronger and stronger. Tighter and tighter. She didn't know what was happening, but she could do nothing but surrender to its power. She was incapable of stopping it, though she truly didn't want to. Her heart pumped hard. Her breath came in shallow and uneven. An utterly overwhelming tension grew within her as a fantastic wave of ecstasy ripped through her. She cried out uncontrollably, her body convulsing as her hands grasped the blankets beneath her as if to keep from falling into an abyss.
Mira's tongue stopped. Deep inside her, Keralan could feel a powerful clenching and pulsing, and with it, all the built-up tension was releasing in the most pleasant way. She felt drunk, like when she first tried champagne, but it was so much better than the fizzy drink. It did not even compare.
"And now you know what pleasure is," Mira told her. "This is what men feel when they fuck. This is what men are constantly after. Now all you need to learn is how to make a man feel this way. But that's for another day." Mira stood up and looked down on her for a moment, before quietly leaving the room, closing the door behind her.
Keralan's body had never felt so empty. It was incredible. It was as if she had just undergone a magical transformation. She couldn't believe she hadn't known what her own body was capable of. Without bothering to put her clothes back on, she rolled onto her side and pulled the blankets over herself. Her home, her father, her uncle, and her friends were completely forgotten. All her worries were light-years away. She was in a new dimension. She knew, with absolute certainty, that she wanted more, and she didn't care what anyone thought. She felt ready to discover everything she could in that new world.
In her last waking moments, she heard moans and cries coming from another room nearby.