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Words are the great deceiver. Our hearts speak the language of truth.
-Master Fjeld
***
Keralan wasn't sure what to expect from Bilrah, until he carefully set her back onto her feet and apologized for the things his men had been saying. He took her hand and led her down several quiet hallways. Eventually they came to golden yellow double doors that opened to a huge marble and gold bedroom.
"Is this your bedroom?" Keralan asked, amazed.
It was like a King's bedchamber. The room was spacious and meticulously decorated in an old French style. There were antique pieces of wooden furniture, ornately framed mirrors and paintings, tapestries, and ancient looking carpets with intricate designs. Glass vases adorned gold and granite tabletops, holding within them an abundance of white roses.
"This is one of them," Bilrah replied, offering no other information.
The massive golden bed had an old-style canopy with sheer silk curtains that could be drawn around it. Rich yellow silk cushions and a golden comforter proudly adorned the mattress. The walls and floor were completely covered in a delicately veined white marble. The high ceiling had a crown molding, covered in floral relief, all gold and white. The center ceiling panel was realistically painted as the sky at dusk. Little cherubs were painted along the perimeter. They seemed to be looking down at them from above.
Bilrah went to a massive wooden wardrobe gilded with lions and roses. Keralan took the opportunity to sneak a glance at his body. His skin was very tan and smooth without much hair. The muscles under his skin were moderately defined. Overall, he seemed to be strong and healthy. The only flaw she noticed was a long, jagged scar on his left arm.
From the wardrobe he grabbed two silky midnight blue robes and handed one to Keralan. She was grateful for it. She slipped it on and tied the sash at her waist. It instantly put her more at ease.
He then led her to one of at least a dozen floor length windows that lined the perimeter of the room. Heavy saffron yellow velvet curtains hung from the ceiling to the floor. He reached his hand within the part. A beep sounded from inside. Keralan watched, fascinated, as his arm began to disappear beyond the curtains. He turned to her and she allowed him to pull her through as well.
It was not a window at all, but a hidden doorway.
The room they entered was completely different from the other. The first was grandiose and regal, more of a showroom than a real bedroom. The second was small, cozy, and unassuming. Apart from the high quality of the bedding and a few expensive looking pieces of furniture, it wasn't anything special. Keralan thought it was even smaller than her own room had been at home. Covered windows lined one wall, where a large bed lay low to the ground. There were a few paintings and photographs on the wall.
"This is my real bedroom," he said. The door behind them clicked closed.
"I see." Keralan said, looking around. It wasn't what she had expected from the Head of Giova.
"I've never taken anyone here before," he confessed.
Startled, Keralan said, "never? Why?"
"Because this is where I am myself. I am just me. Not the Head, a leader, or a boss. Just me."
Keralan thought about that. She liked that he wasn't trying to impress her.
"I am honored to be the first," she thought to say.
He led her to a small table with two floor cushions, for them to sit.
As she sat, she thought it over some more and asked, "but don't servants come in here?"
"What, you didn't think I'd know how to make a bed?" he teased. He sat across the low table from her.
Keralan laughed.
"It's not that. It's just that you are so busy."
"True, my life can be hectic. But that's why I have this private room. There aren't many places in this corporation where I can be completely alone. Having servants is great. But when you have them, you realize that you trade something precious in return for their service. I'm sure you can understand what I mean. You had them yourself. Everything has a cost."
"It's true," she agreed readily.
He paused and looked at her again.
"Now, about tonight. I have access to more information than you could possibly know. I know all about you. And yet, none of my data could have predicted your behavior. Where did that come from?"
Keralan blushed, trying to focus after he mentioned the data. She wondered the extent of his information, though there wasn't anything she needed to hide.
"I don't know. I just suddenly realized what you were trying to do, and I decided to help."
"Well, you did. Quite a lot. And you know, I actually had fun at my own party, which is a rare thing these days. I’m not at all surprised the guys liked you. As you correctly guessed, they're why I have the parties in the first place. You see, in our modern world, people have become disillusioned with life. They crave...connection. Even the Heads. My parties slake their desire for a little while. But as I was saying about the servants, nothing is without a cost. I don't want to play the game anymore, yet I find myself stuck doing it for my men."
Keralan laughed gently.
"What's funny?" Bilrah asked.
"Sorry, it's not funny, exactly. It's just that I imagined you being, well...free. You are more powerful than anyone I've met before. I mean, you are the most important man in the known world. I just assumed you could do whatever you like."
Bilrah looked at her, amused. He nodded.
"That's a common misunderstanding. Even those who have tasted power believe that being at the very top will make all their dreams come true. But if they knew what it's really like to be me, they wouldn't want what I have."
Keralan frowned. Freedom, it seemed, was not something that came easily, even to a powerful Head.
"So, you're truly not interested in parties...you’re just pretending," she murmured, "And I and the harem are there to sell a fantasy."
Bilrah shrugged his shoulders slightly and tilted his head.
"Yes, I know how it must look," he answered. "Believe me I know it’s shocking to you and perhaps you even think it barbaric. That’s why it’s top secret and also why I wish I didn’t have to support it any longer. If I can change such things in the future, I will. But one thing you can count on is that you aren't just a gimmick to me. I didn’t bring you here to sell anything, convince anyone of anything, or even entertain anyone. You're here for me. Not my men."
Keralan wanted to ask him why, but she hesitated.
Bilrah said, "what is it?"
Keralan blushed, feeling as if he could read her mind.
"It's just, I keep wondering, why me?"
Bilrah smiled.
"Let me answer your question with another question. Do you really think that I'm not aware that my concubines dislike me?"
Keralan was startled. She didn't quite know what to say.
Finally, she said, "well, what about other women? There were lots of beautiful ladies at the party tonight, whom I assume weren't concubines?"
Bilrah sighed.
"Oh yes. Sure, it's true. Most of them were not concubines. And some of them go to my parties hoping to go to bed with me, but they're just attracted to my fame. And that's not what I'm looking for."
Keralan frowned. Bilrah took a deep breath and then he reached across the table to take her hand, holding it fast. He peered intensely into her eyes.
"That's why I brought you here like I did. I am sorry it had to be in a way that was so inconsiderate, but I wanted someone I could trust."
Keralan was taken aback by how vulnerable he seemed in that moment. For the first time, she was convinced that he wasn't what he seemed. Not at all.
Bilrah let go of her hand. He leaned back, staring at her as if waiting for a response.
"How do you know you can trust me?" she ventured.
"Well, that's where all my information comes in," he reminded her.
"Oh, right. Of course." Keralan swallowed. "But how am I to know if I can I trust you? I have very little information about you. You could be telling me whatever you want me to believe."
Bilrah looked back at her, knitting his brows.
"You're a smart girl, Keralan," he said with a hint of admiration. "And I am glad you are. But the thing is," he paused, "when I thought about what I wanted in a companion, I realized that I didn't want to have to hide who I am or what I do. The truth is...I wanted someone to be myself with. My goal isn't to trick you. I would actually prefer you to get to know me. The real me."
Keralan peered at the sincerity in eyes carefully. It was disarming the way he spoke to her. She recognized the human need, or perhaps the human desire for intimacy. She had been longing for it too. On some level, she understood that it didn't matter whether you were a Corporate Head or an ordinary citizen. Everyone wanted someone to connect with on a deeper level.
Keralan was a good person. She would never hurt anyone if she could help it. She wanted to believe that Bilrah was also a good person whom she could trust as well. Perhaps that was why she believed what he was telling her.
She smiled.
"I'd like that. Why don't we start now?"
"Good," he said, "ask me anything."
"Hmmm," she said, grinning. "What can you tell me about yourself? How about you tell me what you want more than anything," she decided.
He shook his head.
"A tough one Keralan," he said, thinking it over. She waited patiently.
"What I want," he sighed. "You know, all I really want is to be free."
Keralan pondered his answer.
Bilrah frowned, saying, "as I was telling you, my life restricts me in many ways. Yes, I have many privileges. I know that I am lucky, but can I just get up each morning and do whatever I feel like on the spur of the moment? The answer is no. There's a lot I'm responsible for."
Keralan thought about that.
"Okay, so, you can't do whatever you like. But for the sake of getting to know you, tell me what you would do if you could. Like right now, if you could do anything, what would you do?"
Bilrah didn't hesitate then.
He said, "I would get in a pod and go somewhere."
Keralan nodded, saying, "and why can't you do that now? You could, couldn't you?" she asked him. She didn't understand what would hold him back.
Bilrah sighed. "You know, this is what I wanted. To share. To be myself with you." He grimaced. "But it's a lot harder than I thought."
Keralan waited patiently while Bilrah rubbed his arm absent mindedly.
"Something happened to me about a year ago. I was visiting another province, as I often did. I was always very careful. I always brought my own servants and a whole security team to protect me." He sighed. "But one day, I was attacked. I could have been killed."
Keralan didn’t understand how he could find himself in danger. The System kept everyone safe. Without fail. But he wasn’t just anyone. She wondered if others coveted his power and were trying to take his place. She frowned at the thought but didn’t question him about it.
"So, you don't go anywhere?"
Bilrah nodded.
"Right. Not since it happened. It's deeply embarrassing. I am a man. I was always taught that men shouldn't be afraid. Bravery is basically manliness." He breathed out then, saying, "you know, this has been weighing on me. It's a relief to confide in someone."
Keralan smiled. She said, "to be afraid is to be human. But don't you know that? Don't you have data on everyone? Aren't all men afraid of something? And women for that matter?"
Bilrah smiled.
"I suppose you're right. My data isn't precise enough to understand someone that deeply, but of course I'm not the only one."
"And what do you know about me?" Keralan asked him.
"I know more than you probably could guess, but at the very same time, I don't know you at all. It's a paradox. Information versus reality. But I'd very much like to get to know the real you."
She just stared at him for a moment. The real Keralan? She didn't even know where to start.
"But there's very little to know. I assure you that I'm nothing special."
Bilrah smiled warmly at her.
"I don't believe that at all. But you can start by telling me about your childhood," he said, leaning forward onto his elbows to listen.
Keralan countered back, "but surely you already know my background?"
Bilrah smiled, saying, "data and facts don't tell me how you experienced it or how you feel about it now."
She understood what he meant. He wanted it to come from her. It had to.
Keralan proceeded to tell him as much about herself as she could think of. She left nothing out, partly because he had all the information anyway, and partly because she enjoyed sharing her story. It was refreshing to have someone want to know her that well.
She told him how her mother died at the age of three. For Keralan, it was hard not being able to remember her. She explained that all she had of her were photographs and stories. She told Bilrah how her father had raised her with the help of several nanny's and tutors, but that not even they were able to fill the role her mother had left vacant. Only Henry had come close. She spoke in length about him and the things that he taught her, one of which was to counteract her father's tendency to spoil her. Growing up, as the daughter of a Corporate Head, she he had many freedoms that her friends did not. On top of that, her father had doted on her.
She told Bilrah that for her twelfth birthday, she wanted to go on a trip to a neighboring province she had read about. She had it all planned out and had even prepared a presentation to show her father. Standing before him, she explained that she and her friends would take a six-person pod complete with a chaperone of his choosing. They would go straight to the province, eat at a fancy restaurant, go to a museum, see a live concert, and then return home, all before midnight.
He shook his head and said no. Undeterred, she pleaded with him. She knew he could afford it and begging always worked. Again, he denied her request, which frustrated her. She wasn't sure why he wouldn't allow it. Previous birthdays had been far more lavish. She kept asking until he finally roared at her in anger and disappeared into another room, leaving Henry to explain things to her.
"You see," she said to Bilrah, "I knew that people sometimes traveled to other provinces. My father and Henry did, so I figured that I could too. I had no idea until that day, when Henry sat me down for a talk, that the only way I could travel outside Miliri was if the Province Corporate Head gave me clearance."
"Yes," Bilrah said, "they could have allowed you to travel. That is accurate."
Keralan nodded.
"Yes, I knew Lana was good friends with my father, so I didn't see the problem. Henry informed me that it wasn't Lana who didn't want me traveling. It was my father. For whatever reason, he'd decided that I'd be safer staying in Miliri and Lana wouldn't go against his wishes. Believe me, I tried everything I could to persuade her."
"Hmmm," Bilrah murmured. "It seems neither of us have had the freedom we've wanted."
"Yes," she said with a sigh. "I ended up replacing freedom with fantasy, as do many Provincials. Instead of a trip to another province, I read stories. I watched documentaries. Movies. Anything that helped me to escape Miliri in my mind. But when it came down to it, none of it was real. And I was stuck."
Bilrah sighed and said, "funny how we can know so much, and yet experience so little. This is one of the main problems of the modern era." He smiled, shaking his head. "Tell me Keralan, where would you go if you were free to travel the world?"
Keralan knew the answer immediately.
"The northern lands," she said, "with their ancient castles. And I want to see, no," she corrected herself, "I want to feel the snow!"
Then Bilrah said, "that sounds wonderful," he paused, and then smiled, "and do you know where I would go? Into the Wild, where no one has been for over a century."
"Oh yes!" Keralan said, enthusiastically, "I'd love that too."
Everyone knew that the Wild wasn't safe. It was toxic and full of dangers. The only time anyone went there, was inside the safety of a pod. Any resources that needed to be gathered outside province walls were collected by special remotely driven harvesting machines and drones. Then they had to be decontaminated at a special facility. If anyone had the means to create a safe way to explore outside the walls, however, it was Bilrah.
"Can you do that?" she asked him.
He shrugged his shoulders as if to say he could but that he just hadn’t yet. Then, rather than explain himself, he suggested they move to the bed. He made it clear that he would be a gentleman. They climbed under his blankets, and lay facing each other, with a polite amount of space between them in his roomy bed.
"I'm so glad you are sharing so much with me, Keralan," he said. "I feel like I'm beginning to get a better picture of who you are."
"That is good," she said, "but I still don’t know much about you."
"Of course," he conceded. “It is my turn now.”
They talked into the early morning hours. Keralan was fascinated to learn that he came from a very ordinary background in a small eastern province. He had a good childhood with his five siblings, and despite having less than many other families, he was happy.
Everything changed when at the age of fourteen, after performing exceedingly well at his testing, a high-level corporation offered him a systems technology internship. His parents didn't want to let him go, but they understood the significance of such an opportunity and pushed him to accept it. Leaving his family at such a tender age had been overwhelming and frightening, but he believed that it had made him stronger.
He had a mind built for computer systems. He understood the intricacies and complexities and genuinely loved developing them. Once he started work on the System, which was then still rife with problems and restrictions, his mentors realized his true worth. He was able to realize its full potential in novel ways. In combination with his natural leadership skills, he rapidly found himself within the inner circle of the powerful Heads of the time.
"I was only nineteen when I became the Head of Giova. Honestly, looking back, it's crazy how it all happened. I never imagined I'd be where I am now."
Yawning, Keralan said, "I sense you are speaking the truth. And you know what? I'm not upset anymore about being your prisoner."
Bilrah laughed. Keralan was glad to see the smile return to his face. Then he said, "you are not my prisoner. You are more...a reluctant guest," he decided.
"Not anymore," Keralan murmured, closing her eyes. And she meant it.