| |
No matter where life takes you, whether seemingly good or bad, there is always something of value to be discovered.
-Master Fjeld
***
Keralan woke up in the bright morning light. She sat up quickly. She was in Bilrah's bed. She gathered that she must have fallen asleep at some point during their late-night conversation. Her control panel showed that it was 7:23. She glanced around, seeing that she was alone. Where had Bilrah gone?
She didn't have to wonder for long. A beep sounded at the yellow door. It slid open. Bilrah stepped in, carrying a large tray. He was dressed in a suit.
"Good morning," he greeted her with a grin.
Keralan felt shy once again, perhaps because he was formally dressed, or maybe it was the light of day, but she was happy to see him. The sight and smell of the food made her aware of how hungry she was.
"Is that breakfast?" Keralan asked. "Because I could eat."
Bilrah brought the tray over to the bed. He sat next to her. There was a bowl of sliced fruits, real yogurt with honey, fried eggs, porridge, potatoes, toast, juice, tea, and coffee. It was all her favorites.
"I brought you a little of everything," he said, setting the tray between them.
"It looks great. Thank you." She grinned and started by sipping the tea.
"I wish I could spend the day with you Keralan, but I have a busy schedule today."
Keralan wasn't really surprised, but she realized that she didn't want him to go.
"I understand," she told him. "What do you have to do today?"
Bilrah sighed.
"Oh, well on top of the usual stuff, I still have my guests. There are meals, meetings, activities planned...you know, more entertaining to do."
Keralan nodded. She wondered what the men were like during the day. Remembering the party, her mind settled on Ket. She knew he was trouble, but she couldn't help but remember the way he had made her feel. Compared to Bilrah, it was more of a dark primal response. It made her feel ashamed.
"Have dinner with me tonight," he said.
She was delighted that he wanted to see her.
"Okay," she answered, knowing she was blushing again.
Bilrah beamed.
"Good. I will have something to look forward to."
He stood up and walked to the door. The door opened. He turned back to her.
"Someone will escort you back to the harem when you are ready," he explained, "and I will send for you tonight." He grinned as he disappeared, the door sliding shut behind him.
Keralan smiled to herself. She thought that it was quite silly how happy she felt. What would her uncle think of her now? He certainly wouldn't like it. He would tell her that Bilrah was a spoiled rich man who didn't really care about her. He would tell her not to forget herself.
She understood that her situation had not changed, but Bilrah had explained himself. It made sense. His life had limitations even harsher than hers had in Miliri. He'd wanted someone real and trustworthy. She wanted that also. He'd allowed her into his inner circle, and so far, he had been good to her and kept his promises. Spending a month getting to know him didn't seem as bad as she'd first thought it might be.
She lay back in Bilrah's bed, pulling his fluffy white pillow towards her. She took in the faint scent. She liked that he let her into his private room. It was a very intimate gesture. She savored learning personal details about him. His real life. His family growing up. As Keralan lay there, she couldn't help but wonder what it was about him that made her feel so good. He wasn't as handsome as Ket. And yet, he made her feel...
She wasn't sure what she felt. All she knew was that he made her aware of what she really wanted. Her passion for life was sparked. He made her want to travel the world and see the places she dreamed of seeing. He made her feel special. He could have any woman in the world, and even had a collection of the most beautiful women available to him, but he wanted to know her.
That thought reminded her that she needed to get back to the harem. She would have liked to stay in Bilrah's bed for hours. It was quiet and warm and she was all alone, but she forced herself to sit back up. She took time to savor her breakfast. When she was finished, she got up, taking the tray with her. She went to the closed door. She was surprised when the door unlocked for her, just as it had for Bilrah.
She carried the tray out with her into his main bedroom. There was no one waiting there, so she went through the next yellow door, and was glad to find a servant there who seemed to expect her. The older, slightly stooped, man quickly took the tray from her. He set it aside on a narrow table. Then he led her through a series of black doors, until they were standing in front of an orange harem door. She thanked the man. He bowed slightly and left without a word.
She took a moment to collect herself. She didn't know what to expect from the girls. She felt nervous. She took a deep breath, before going through the door.
Keralan stepped into the open-air harem garden. The bright morning light made her squint. The brisk air was heavy with the scent of flowers. She took in a nice deep breath and breathed out. She followed along a stone dotted path; her feet bare against the cool smooth surface. It curved around the harem building and came to the front, where the curtains hung at the entrance. She took one last moment to center herself and stepped through.
She was relieved to see that only Jewel and Anja were in the main room. They were dressed and eating their morning meal together. When they saw her, they called out their good mornings and motioned for her to come and eat with them.
"Good morning," Keralan said, sitting down with them, "thanks, but I've eaten already."
"You ate?" Anja asked, confused.
"Yes, Bilrah brought me a tray."
"Wow," Jewel mused, "you must have really pleased him!" she teased, pinching her arm lightly.
Keralan knew she was blushing. The girls joked playfully about her virginity being a thing of the past. After a few more witty jokes, Keralan corrected their misunderstanding. She explained that nothing had happened between she and Bilrah. She was still a virgin. Jewel's jaw dropped open. She and Anja exchanged glances.
Keralan had thought nothing of it. Her interaction with Bilrah had been so natural. She hadn't thought anything was strange about them not having sex, at least not until then. Jewel regained her composure quickly, and said, "oh, not to worry, darling. I'm sure it will happen soon."
Keralan frowned, concerned.
Anja added, "well at least you didn't have to get fucked by Seth."
"Anja, cut it out. You'll scare her!" Jewel nudged Anja hard with her elbow.
Anja scoffed back at her and said, "it's better if she knows, Jewel. There's no point in sheltering her from the truth!" Anja turned back to Keralan, cocking her head to the side. She continued, saying, "he hurt Finora."
Keralan frowned. "He did? How?" she asked, unsure if she wanted to know.
"Well, that bastard likes to hold you down and do things to you that he knows girls don't like. Poor Finora, he fucked her until she bled, and now she's getting treatment from Oma. Stupid fuck," she shook her head, "if I could, I would beat his ass."
Keralan's heart sank. She hadn't known that men liked to hurt women in a sexual way. It made her feel ill.
She was compelled to ask, "has Bilrah hurt any of you girls like that?"
Jewel shook her head.
"You see Anja," she said turning to her, crossing her arms with a disapproving look. Then to Keralan, "she should really learn her mouth shut sometimes."
"Hey!" Anja protested.
Jewel leaned toward Keralan and spoke in her calmest voice.
"Now don't you worry honey. Bilrah isn't like that."
Then Anja broke in with, "look, it's true, Bilrah isn't like Seth. But sex can hurt even when the guy isn't trying to be cruel." Jewel sighed and rolled her eyes, as if she had given up trying to control her. Anja continued. "Oma has some amazing treatments. She knows a lot from when she was a concubine herself. So, relax. By the time you must entertain the other Heads, you will know all the tricks. We'll help you out."
Keralan decided right then and there that she didn't want to entertain the other men. She asked, "does Bilrah know how Seth treats women?"
"Of course he does," Anja replied with certainty.
"Anja," Jewel whined, "you're making this really weird for Keralan. Just stop, will you?"
Anja made a face at Jewel and then mimed zipping her lips. She went back to her plate of food.
Jewel said to Keralan, "look, men are stupid. They think that if we smile and moan and tell them how good it feels that everything is cool. They simply don't know what it's like to be us. Plus, none of us saw what happened last night. Seth took Finora back to his room. Maybe it's not what we think."
"But Bilrah," Keralan said, "does he know that Seth hurt Finora?"
Jewel must have sensed what Keralan was thinking, because her soft demeanor vanished and she said, "let me make this clear, Keralan, we do not talk to Bilrah about the things the Heads do. When there's a problem, Oma handles it."
"But, theoretically," Keralan ventured, "if you told him what happened, would he do something about it?"
Jewel gave her a serious glare.
She said, "no, Keralan. Don't you even think of talking to him about it. There's a reason we have a harem manager. Oma knows exactly how to handle things like this, and believe me, nothing will turn Bilrah off more than if you bring up Finora's bloody pussy. Do you get me?"
Keralan wasn't happy with the answer, but the dark look on Jewel’s face stopped her from pressing any further. She nodded. When Jewel raised her eyebrows at her, waiting, Keralan said, "yes, I understand. You were perfectly clear."
Just then, Mira walked into the room, wearing a fluffy white robe. Keralan knew immediately that she was in trouble with her. The moment Mira saw Keralan she spun around on her heels and walked back out the way she had come. Keralan sighed. A terrible feeling came over her. She didn't want any bad feelings between them.
Jewel seemed to notice too.
"You know Keralan, you better talk to her. Cause she likes you," she advised her.
Keralan hung her head. She wasn't so sure of that.
She said quietly, "I guess I made a mistake."
Anja told her, "Mira is a lot more sensitive than she lets on. And besides, it will be miserable in this place if you don't make things right."
Keralan nodded. She resolved to go and talk to her right then, but before she could excuse herself, Urda came in to sit down for breakfast.
"I heard you put on a show last night," Urda prompted.
"Yes, I guess I did," Keralan said flatly.
"So how did it go with Bilrah?" she asked.
Jewel answered for her, saying, "they didn't do the deed yet," with a knowing look.
Urda was just as surprised as Jewel and Anja had been. Keralan felt so embarrassed. She was starting to feel that she had failed at everything. Perhaps Urda could tell how Keralan was feeling because she patted her arm and tried to cheer her up a little.
"It's okay Keralan. I'm sure that doesn't mean he doesn't want you. Remember that you have not been trained and he knows that. Perhaps he is just treating you accordingly."
Urda's words did help a little.
"Thanks, Urda. I appreciate that." She thought to ask, "and did your night go well?"
Urda smiled.
"Well, it's work. Gwain doesn't relax easy. It took some time." She seemed to be thinking about it, and then finished by saying, "the art of sex isn't just the moves you make, or what you wear. It's more than that. Sometimes you must make an emotional connection. We have to tap into the very soul of the person sometimes to understand what makes them tick."
Anja joked, "or just let them fuck your ass."
Urda laughed. Jewel rolled her eyes again, sighing.
What Urda said really made an impression on Keralan. She was aware that there could be sex without love, and love without sex. She wondered what made the two come together. Perhaps it was the connection she spoke of. It was something she wanted to experience.
Keralan would have liked to hear more from Urda, but she knew she needed to find Mira. She excused herself and headed towards the dressing room. She found it was deserted, so she checked the bathroom, but it was vacant as well. On the south wall of the dressing room, there was another door. She went to it and discovered that it led outside. Taking the rough gravel path, she wished she had slipped on some sandals first. She rounded the corner and was back in the ivy-walled enclosed garden of the harem grounds. The sunlight illuminated the beautiful greenery, flowers, and little ponds. It was a stunning space. She took a moment to appreciate it.
Near the far wall, on a gray stone bench, Mira sat, facing away from Keralan. Her long flowing blonde hair practically glowed white in the bright morning light. Keralan slowly walked over to her, trying to think of the right words to say. Before long, she was standing right next to her. Mira didn't look at her for a few seconds. Then she glanced up briefly.
"Oh, it's you," she said.
Keralan jumped right in.
"Mira, about last night," she began.
"What about it?" Mira shot back. "You got the men riled up nicely."
Keralan was confused. "But what I said..."
"Look, I am a slut. We all are," Mira responded. She leaned forward and plucked a small flower from a plant growing near her feet. She stared at it, spinning it between her fingertips. Keralan could tell she wasn't okay, no matter what she said. Somehow, Keralan had really hurt her feelings. Without asking, Keralan sat next to her on the bench. She turned to Mira, and gazed at her, until Mira finally relented and made eye contact.
"I didn't mean to hurt your feelings, Mira. It wasn't personal at all," Keralan ventured.
Mira didn't respond.
"I'm so out of my depth here," she found herself admitting. She was surprised to feel emotion welling up within her. "Look, I need you on my side," she said. Tears that she had been holding in for days, finally came pouring out. She immediately tried to wipe them away. She didn't mean to start crying. She didn't want Mira thinking she was trying to make her feel sympathetic towards her.
"Oh, Keralan," Mira sighed. She put her arm around her, "I'm not really mad at you, and I am on your side."
"I'm sorry if I did something wrong," Keralan mumbled through her tears. "I really am."
Mira sighed again.
"Okay, now. Don't cry, come on," she consoled in a half-annoyed voice. "I wasn't mad about you calling me a slut."
Keralan peered at her, curiously.
"You weren't?" she asked.
Mira rolled her eyes.
"Please. I've been called many things; most of them much worse than that." She shrugged her shoulders. "The men responded to you. You did very well. Better than I was expecting, to be honest. It surprised everyone, I think. Look, maybe I was a little," Mira seemed reluctant to say the word, "jealous."
Keralan frowned. "Really? But why?" she asked, confused.
Mira took a deep breath. "Because you're the new girl. Because everyone wants you now."
Keralan couldn't believe what she was hearing. Being new was all she had going for her. She didn't understand how it could matter so much.
"But how would you know? I can't hold a candle to your beauty. Or any of the other girls. Bilrah didn't even have sex with me last night."
"Really?" Mira paused, thinking it over. "Hmmm, he must really like you then."
"What do you mean?"
Mira rolled her eyes yet again.
"You really are innocent, aren't you?" she teased.
It was Keralan's turn to be mad.
"Hey," she said, "I know I am inexperienced, but I'm not stupid."
Mira just smiled, like she might smile at a child.
"You'll see. You will be summoned every night. But not us. The rest of us girls will just fuck his buddies when they are here."
Keralan frowned. She wondered how that would feel. To be tossed aside like leftovers. And then a new thought occurred to her. What if Bilrah got tired of her too? What if he found someone else to come and take her place?
"Until he finds another new girl," Keralan murmured.
Mira shrugged her shoulders again.
"Well, that's the way of it, unfortunately. But right now, you are the crème de la crème," she said as she gazed towards the flowered vines of the south wall. "But you know, it's ridiculous the way we base our value on what men think of us. Isn't it? I mean, what if we were more than just sexual objects? I...I can hardly even imagine it."
Keralan frowned. Mira had the body of an angel. Men were captivated by her, and yet she wanted something more.
Keralan said, "but of course you are more than your job, your looks, or your even your name. You have a soul just like everyone else."
Mira turned to her, her face pure beauty even without makeup. She laughed as if Keralan was making a joke, but then saw that Keralan was serious.
"You really believe that?" she asked.
"Of course," she said. Her uncle had taught her about the three parts of a person. The body, the mind, and the spirit. She thought everyone believed the same. Religion may have been a thing of the past, but the concept of the human soul was very real to her. She couldn't imagine going through life thinking that everything would cease to exist upon her death.
Mira smiled. Then to Keralan's surprise, she said, "I'm sorry too, for how I spoke to you last night. I should have been nicer to you. It was your first time in that kind of situation."
Keralan breathed out, saying, "well I guess one way to learn is to dive right in." It was one of Henry's favorite sayings.
"Yes," Mira agreed, "sometimes that's the way it is. But most of the time, it is better to have some instruction. You know, Keralan, these men we deal with...they aren't always what they seem. I want you to be careful, okay?"
Keralan nodded, realizing that Mira was being very kind to her even though she didn't need to be. She wondered how she needed to be careful, but then the memories of Ket came back to her, and she recognized that she had sensed it herself.
The two of them sat in silence for a time. Keralan felt any lingering sadness and anger leaving her with each new breath she took. The secret jealousy she had been harboring lifted as well. She understood that appearances weren't everything. Mira wasn't just her beauty. She was a person with feelings, hopes, and dreams like the rest of humanity. Keralan vowed to see the concubines as friends. Not competition.
Just then she saw movement from the corner of her eye to her left. She turned to see Tian crouching down next to a plant.
"Good morning," Keralan called out.
"Morning," Tian called back. She smiled and waved when Mira greeted her as well.
Mira turned her attention back to Keralan.
"Tian likes to spend a lot of time in the garden," she whispered, "she says it is therapeutic," she said in high pitch voice, mocking Tian.
Keralan smiled. Mira seemed to be feeling better.
"But she does make the most amazing perfumes out of our flowers. I'll show them to you later."
"I'd like that," Keralan said.
"Hmmm, I should probably tell you," Mira continued, "Oma said there will be another party tomorrow night."
"What? Another?" Keralan asked. She didn't want to do it all over again so soon.
"Well, the Heads are still here. And it's our job to entertain them."
Keralan was alarmed.
"You mean Seth will be able to hurt Finora again?"
Mira said, "so you heard about that?"
Keralan nodded.
"No, Oma said Finora won't be servicing anyone else until she heals."
Keralan was relieved.
Mira changed the subject.
"You know, I was prepared to teach you all about pleasing a man, but I don't think you need any training."
"I don't?" Keralan asked.
"No. I think Bilrah might like that you aren't trained."
Keralan simply said, "oh." One part of her was relieved to hear it, and another was worried that she wouldn't be able to please him.
"But," Mira continued, "at the next party," she paused, "be kind to us sluts." She smiled big at Keralan.
Keralan was so glad that everything was alright again between them.
"I promise, I will," she said, grinning.
"Now," Mira looked at the oversized blue robe Keralan still wore, "let's get you some clothes."
***
Keralan spent the rest of the day with Mira. She showed Keralan how to place food orders and how to purchase new clothes, shoes, toiletries, and anything else she wanted at a special kiosk inside the harem. Keralan thought it was strange how they couldn't use their own control chips to do so.
For lunch they sat in one of the corporate gardens like employees. Mira answered a lot of her questions about Giova. Keralan had already known it was a communications technology corporation, and Bilrah had mentioned the System and its data. What she hadn't fully understood was that Giova was responsible for developing and producing many of the devices, including their control chips, which made modern life possible. The primary mega servers that connected them all were right there, under the household.
Giova also controlled other corporations, including those that operated TCS, the transport control system. Over many years, Bilrah had slowly extended his reach so that he was in charge of much more than any other human being. Keralan hadn't known that a Corporate Head could have control over anything but his or her own province. Knowing this made Keralan feel a little less certain about him.
That afternoon, when Mira and Keralan returned to the harem, Oma was ready with instructions. She had already told the other girls what they needed to do. She asked to see Keralan's biofeedback, like she had the night before. She nodded when she saw the zero, and then told her that Bilrah wanted her to meet him at 22:00 for dinner and a swim. She pointed her towards the swimwear and told her to be ready by 21:45.
Mira helped Keralan choose swimwear and a dress. While she was helping her with her hair and makeup, Keralan asked what the girls did to prevent pregnancy.
"Oh, we don't need to do anything for that," she said. "Don't you know that clones are designed to be infertile?"
Keralan was ashamed to have brought it up.
She said, "oh, really?" trying hard not to sound insensitive. Fortunately, Mira didn't seem bothered at all.
She said, "well, no man wants to worry about impregnating their sex slave. They pay good money for us to be available all the time. We're designed to have no periods as well."
It was strange to hear Mira talk about herself as a product. A slave. Just because she began life using Solantis cloned cells, didn't mean she wasn't her own person. It was deeply disturbing to Keralan.
Mira finished Keralan's makeup and then turned to her own face in the mirror. She began running liner along her eyelids. Keralan remembered that Oma had given her instructions as well, though she hadn't overheard what they were.
"What are you doing tonight?"
"I have to deal with Seth," Mira told her.
"You what!?" Keralan exclaimed.
Mira just smiled and said, "don't worry. I can handle him."
Keralan noted that Mira didn't seem worried.
"How do you handle a man like that?"
Mira, in her usual vague way, said, "very carefully."
Although it wasn't really an answer, Keralan left it alone. She decided to ask her about it some other time.
"Well, be careful," she said. She sincerely hoped she would be. "Is there anything that I should know before tonight?" she thought to ask.
Mira paused in the middle of applying her eyeshadow and turned to Keralan. She smiled.
"Just be yourself, and you will be fine."
Keralan couldn't help but remember her uncle saying the very same thing. She wished she felt so confident.