“I don’t know, it doesn’t say. It doesn’t even say where he is”

A few more days pass and Tom feels much better but he still can’t breathe properly. He asks the nurse “what happened to me?”

The nurse replies “you’ve been gassed. You’re in Poperinge Hospital, they’re going to ship you back to England”

“How long have I been here?

“Oh, you’ve been here five days”

“Will I die too?” asks Tom weakly.

All the nurse can do is to look him in the eye then walk away, but Tom not being able to see is unaware of the answer.

“Nurse?” he says into empty space.

Also in the same room are other soldiers who lay in beds in the field hospital all waiting to transport to England. An officer comes in and shouts “right, load them up on the train”. Orderlies pick up the stretchers as the officer shouts “you lucky bastards are going home”.

Tom wakes up coughing and spluttering, then gasping for breath, slowly the coughing fits die down to a gasping. He is lying in a bed and realises from the movement he is on board a ship presumably he is on his way back to England. He hears a voice shout “ey up lads, it’s the white cliffs of Dover”

There are murmurs of joy amongst the patients, some of whom try to get up, sit up or lift their heads up just to get a glimpse of those white cliffs. For most of them, this is home. No going back to that forsaken battlefield, now it is the green fields of England. Tom thinks momentarily of his local pub and warm beer, he still can’t see but is aware of that fresh sea smell which helps him to forget about the odour of gunpowder and decaying mud.

The ship enters dock at Dover and Tom is stretchered to a waiting ambulance where he is transferred to a train that goes to Eastbourne station, where he and fellow soldiers are carried out on stretchers off the train to waiting ambulances. A crowd of people have gathered at the station and now watch the soldiers being carried out, someone starts clapping which spreads to the rest of the crowd. Tom is aware that something is going on but isn’t sure exactly what, the crowd pat the soldiers as they are carried through. He is loaded onto an ambulance which then drives to Summerdown Hospital with other convalescing soldiers.

In the ward there are many soldiers who had suffered horrific injuries; some have no legs or one of their arms missing. The nurses are young women who joined the VADS and have never seen such injuries before. They stand and cry before matron comes and tells them to get on with their work. Tom has been made to sit up with large pillows behind his head but he is tired. He is aware he is near the sea because he can smell the salty air, and he can hear the seagulls in the distance. He coughs a few times before falling asleep.

He sleeps soundly but later in the night come the dreams, he is back at Passchendaele and running for his life. He turns round to look at the men following him, a whistle then an explosion. The men are blown to bits. Tom sits up quickly in the dark, awakening with a stifled scream. He breathes quickly and deeply, sweat is dripping down his forehead. He quickly calms and slows his breathing down. The sun is rising and shines through the gap in the curtains when a nurse comes and opens them to allow the full sun light to come. Tom can see light, nothing is distinguishable but at least he can see something.

“Ah, Mister Lane” says the nurse “you’re awake. The doctor will see you soon”

She walks off, Tom unaware that she has gone, turns to the empty air and says “what’s happened to me?”

No reply “hello?”

A voice from across the ward “hello”

“Who’s that?”

“I’m Fred; I got hit by a shell. Lost me leg, like”

A northerner, thinks Tom.

“I’m Tom. I’m sorry, I can’t see you”

“I thought as much. You’ve been gassed, haven’t you?”

The doctor walks in “ah, Mister Lane”

“Huh?” Tom is suddenly aware the man is next to him.

“What happened to me?” he asks.

“Well” says the doctor “you were in the middle of a gas attack and you’ve received quite severe injuries”

“Will I die?”

“Can’t say for certain….”

“The others die, the ones I saw before, they died”

“Well it’s too early to say. Because you have deep lungs, that’s what probably saved your life”

“I can’t see”

“That’s due to your eyelids being swollen. They’ll settle down and you should regain your sight soon”

He asks the doctor “excuse me, but do you know how the battle went?”

The doctor isn’t a military man and replies “I don’t know where you fought but I’ll find out for you”

Later an officer comes into the room.

“You’re Private Lane aren’t you?” he says

“Yes I am”

“I hear you play piano quite well”

“I do, or at least I did. Sorry sir, but I was at Passchendaele and wondered what happened to the outcome of the battle”

“Let me see now, you were in the 58th Division”

“The Post Office Rifles, Sir”

“Quite. Ah, you were attacking the trenches at Gravenstafel”

“Yes”

“Your regiment successfully took the trench”

“Will I be going back?”

“Ooh no private. The British troops have been pulled out; it’s down to the Canadians now. However, once you have recovered then you’ll have to go back to duty”

“Great, I’ll be a C3”

The officer replies “you’ll still be providing for the war effort, you won’t be totally useless. They’ll find something for you to do”

Tom thinks for a moment and then says “thank you, Sir”

“If there is anything else I can do for you, don’t hesitate to ask”

“Yes Sir, thank you Sir” Tom thinks for a moment again then says “a cup of tea would be nice”

The officer replies “quite so, I’ll see to it on my way out”

Tom listens to the echo of the footsteps making their way out of the old room. He sits there thinking for a while. Usually soldiers go back to the Front once they are well but the idea briefly pops into his head that he may not get well at all. He quickly dismisses any further thoughts before it is too late and the idea sticks.

Tom soon makes friends with Fred who hobbles over on his crutches.

“Could you write a letter for me please, it’s to my wife”

“Of course I could” a quick rustle of paper “alright, go ahead”

“Dearest Ellen…”

“That’s her name is it? That’s a nice name like”

“Thank you”

“Dearest Ellen,

I am in Summerdown Hospital in Eastbourne. I have been injured but not seriously, I was gassed and have a little cough but I am quite alright and am doing really well. I am temporarily blinded which is why the writing on this letter isn’t mine. I had to dictate it. We won our battle but I will be out of action for a short time while I get better.

It would give me great joy if you could visit me.

Please come.

You loving husband Tom”

Ellen looks at the letter with a tear in her eye. She put the letter down on her belly and runs her hand over her lump. She immediately picks up pen and paper and starts to write as her mother comes in.

“Hello Love” she says

“Hello Mother. I have a letter from Tom”

“Oh how is he?”