Sunday, August 12, 2018

“W

hat?” Dave leaned on his elbow, not fully awake. “You think I’m having an affair?” He rubbed his eyes. “With Barbara?”

“I read her texts.” Nora waited for him to explode, to accuse her of snooping and invading his privacy.

“You read her texts? In my phone?” He didn’t sound angry. He sounded baffled. He scratched his head, turned the lamp on, and looked at her with his head tilted, the way Sophie did. “Why would you do that?”

Nora’s hands tightened. Her eyes darted from side to side, up and down. Her mind went blank, and she tried to remember. Why had she done that? Oh, yes. Because Dave had been gone so much, worked so late. Because he’d had a lot of phone calls. And because he’d made love differently. Would any of that justify what she’d done? Prying. Invading her husband’s privacy. Becoming the crazy possessive, jealous wife. Dave had every right to be furious.

He sat on the side of the bed. Silence billowed between them, thick and tangible, as seconds passed.

Nora considered apologizing. Or backing up, trying to unsay what she’d said. She wanted a do-over, starting from when Dave told her to climb into bed.

“Why did you look at my phone?” Dave’s voice was soft. “That’s private.”

“I know.” Nora cut him off. “But I had to.”

“I don’t get why you think I’d cheat.” His shoulders straightened. His voice became brusque and wounded. “I mean, why? After all this time. I gave you my word, Nora.”

“I remember.”

“Do you think I don’t love you?”

Nora couldn’t think of what to say.

“I do, Nora. More than ever.”

She studied his face, puffy from sleep, no signs of a lie—no tiny tics or twitches.

“To be honest, I’m stunned that you’d suspect me. And more than a little bit hurt. It’s been five years since the thing with Steph—”

Nora’s hand went up. “Do not say her name.”

“And I promised then that I would never lie to you or cheat again.”

Nora nodded and looked away. Saw the wedding photo on the dresser. Dave had promised to be faithful that day, too.

“So? What is this about? Doesn’t my word count for anything? Don’t you trust me?”

“I do trust you.” Her face burned, and she didn’t trust her voice, so she paused until she knew it wouldn’t crack. “I mean I did until—”

“Until you didn’t. So, instead of discussing your doubts with me, you decided to launch an undercover investigation.” Even now, even at this intimate moment, Dave talked like a lawyer.

“I meant to talk to you.” She paused, took a breath. “I should have.”

“Yes.”

They were quiet for a moment. Nora chewed her lip.

“But if you’re not having an affair, why does Barbara invite you over while her husband’s away? And tell you to make sure ‘Nora doesn’t know’?”

Dave sighed and scratched his belly. “Damn it, Nora. I see how it looks, but you’ll just have to trust me. I can’t go into it other than to say that it doesn’t concern you.”

She raised her chin. “I’m your wife.” She kept her voice down, struggling not to shout. “How does a secret relationship between you and my close friend not concern me?”

Dave was on his feet, pacing around the room. He crossed his arms, breathing heavily. Finally, he sat beside Nora. “There is no affair. You have my word. Understood?”

“Then what is it?”

Dave paused. “I’m helping Barbara with some confidential matters. Of a personal nature.” His words sounded measured, calculated.

“She’s your client?”

He pressed his lips together, hedging. “Unofficially. Informally. In some capacity, I suppose you could say so.”

“What?” Nora leaned so that she could get a better look at him. “You’re representing Barbara?”

“Not technically. But, sort of. I’m assisting her.”

Nora stood and faced him. “So. You’re saying that you and my friend are and are not working together, that you do and do not represent her, and that, whatever it is, neither of you thought it would be appropriate to mention it to me. In fact, you agreed to keep it secret and carry on behind my back.” She grabbed her arms, hugging herself, digging her nails into her skin.

“I understand how it looks.” Dave stood and pulled her to him. He kissed her forehead. “But believe me, nobody’s conspiring against you. It’s a matter of Barbara’s privacy and best interests.”

Nora didn’t resist his embrace, but neither did she return it.

“Look.” Dave kept holding her, stroking her back, gazing gently into her eyes. “This entire discussion has been based on a monumental misunderstanding. I should have been more forthcoming with you. And you should have told me what you suspected. Can we just agree to be more open in the future, put it aside and try for a few hours’ sleep?”

He was right. Nora nodded and climbed into bed. Lying beside Dave under their plush floral comforter, she tried to quell her sense of betrayal. But couldn’t quite. Because even if there was no affair, even if Dave and Barbara had been doing legitimate legal business, they’d been conducting that business behind Nora’s back. Sharing secrets. Meeting privately, exchanging texts. And that was almost like cheating.

Dave’s arm fit snugly against her, his breathing slow and even. In moments, Nora drifted. She slept, but her sleep was neither deep nor restful. When the girls woke her up, it was after nine, and Dave had already gone to tennis.