11
Winning the Crown
“You guys getting all dressed up for this homecoming dance like it’s something major!” I said to my boys as we changed in the locker room after winning another game.
“You know a brotha just like to get clean every now and then,” Damarius said as he spun around trying to show off his black pin-striped suit.
Cole came up to me and asked, “You going to the dance, right, Perry? You know I wouldn’t want you to be bummed out about people talking about you and Amandi.”
“Man, forget about it. That’s old.” I looked at my blue suit that I had brought just in case.
Damarius muttered, “You didn’t wanna get with her, anyway. She probably got something.”
I took my towel and popped him with it across the head. “Boy, you one to talk. I’m going to the dance. I’m just mad that I didn’t get both of y’all to join the Beautillion. Talkin’ about men cleaning up nice ...”
Damarius took his collar and turned it up all the way. He spun around like he was fly, put on some dark shades, rolled one pants leg up to his knee and left the other one long. He was so crazy.
“You don’t think they’ll let me in the Beautillion with this getup on, do ya?” he teased.
“Naw, brah, you can’t wear the tux like that.”
“That’s what I’m saying. Here at homecoming, I get to sport my tux just the way I like it.”
“I hear ya.”
Cole asked, “I look okay for real?”
We both nodded. The big boy was stepping in his fly coat with long tails. He had even put on cologne. For Cole that was a big deal.
I couldn’t believe two weeks had gone by since I had had so much turmoil in my life. Seeing Tori with Marlon was definitely a lot to take. Having rumors spread all around the school wasn’t cool, either, and having my mom leap into my arms because of heartbreak took a piece of my heart out.
My folks still hadn’t worked out all their drama. They didn’t think I knew that they now slept in separate bedrooms, but I knew. Although at least with both of them under the same roof, there was some hope.
When I got to the party I stood just observing people, and I was content. I didn’t have to dance or be cooped up with a girl. I was actually having a good time seeing everyone enjoy themselves.
Then my eyes skimmed and saw Marlon laughing and huffing in some girl’s face. And before my eyes could roam away, I glanced back at him and realized that the girl he was talking to wasn’t Tori. What was up with that? Or did I even have to ask? Soon as she let her guard down and got close to that loser, he took advantage of her and went on to conquer more.
Before I could even spend more energy focusing on Tori, Damarius and Cole found me.
“Come on, boy. It’s time to get crowned,” Cole said as he hit me.
“Man, please,” I said, “I don’t have this.”
Damarius mouthed off, “Yeah, I could have been homecoming king, but I told folks to vote for my boy.”
“D, that won’t help the way people been talking about me. My name’s been mud around here,” I said, not caring either way.
“Trust me, dog, you won.” Damarius looked real serious.
I wasn’t really listening when they announced the ninth-grade and tenth-grade court. However, when they announced the eleventh-grade court, I was ready to hear Tori’s name, but I didn’t. It was another girl, the same chick that I saw with Marlon earlier. And when he won eleventh-grade prince, the two of them made a passionate statement before the crowd.
Then the announcer declared that Amandi and I won homecoming king and queen. At first I thought it must’ve been a joke. I didn’t even wanna go up on the stage, but I did. I sure wasn’t gonna dance with her. She needed no ideas from me that I thought she had it going on.
So when the princesses and princes for the underclassmen got in the middle of the dance floor to dance and they called for the king and queen to join in, I motioned for Damarius to wear my crown and walk Amandi down there. Amandi looked like her plans had been ruined. Then I saw Tori move expeditiously through the crowd. Something was telling me she wasn’t all right.
Instinctively, I followed her. Indirectly, I did feel sorta responsible. Trying desperately to get with Marlon was such a down move on her part. How could she possibly care for him?
She turned around and said, “What do you want, Perry? What are you doing following me? Just leave me alone, okay!”
“I’m really concerned about you.”
“I finally realized I made a bad choice and now I have to suffer the consequences,” she responded in tears.
I wanted to ask her a personal question, like how far did she go with Marlon? But by looking at her devastated face, I didn’t need to ask the obvious.
“Look, I’m real sorry about all this.”
She sniffed and held back her emotions. “What’s done is done. Congratulations on winning homecoming king. I’m really happy for you.”
We held hands for a moment, and I hugged her tight. With my embrace I was saying, “Be strong, girl. Hang tight. Be the Tori I know you can be.” With the look she gave me when we let go, I had the satisfaction of believing she would be okay.
Sunday after church, I was at the monthly Beautillion meeting. As soon as I walked in the place, I wondered how in the world my mother had talked me into doing this. Though I’d teased Damarius and Cole about them not wanting to get refined, I, too, wasn’t up for all the polishing. But I needed to get the negative thoughts out my mind quickly, or the next two hours would seem like twenty-four.
This time the fraternity brothers from Omega Psi Phi were giving the presentation. And they knew how to break the ice for all of us. They came in stepping in their gold boots, gold construction hats, purple shirts and olive army-style pants. Decked out, they were looking bad! And on top of that, they were hype.
“All right, all right,” they chanted.
After the guys got our attention, they gave us their history and then asked questions about what we just heard. Maybe schools needed to take a page from this method of teaching. Everybody, even Saxon, could answer every question.
The taller, built dude said, “I’m Cleo Armstrong and this is my partner, Sylvester Blue. We are here today to talk to you guys about how you treat a young lady.”
“The actual topic,” Mr. Blue said, “is being a prince on a date.”
Saxon just chuckled. Mr. Armstrong came straight over to him, grabbed him by his shirt and lifted him up. Saxon was quiet then.
“Something funny?” Mr. Armstrong questioned.
I knew if some of the ladies who were in this program would’ve seen how the Omegas were handling our session, they’d be tripping. However, we boys knew they deserved respect, and they were gon’ take it if they didn’t get it. We all sat up in our seats. Even tough Saxon apologized.
“Naw, man. I’m just playing with ya. I ain’t mad at you, brother,” Cleo said as he straightened out Saxon’s shirt. “But I’m glad I was able to prove a point. When you’re in a leadership role, there’s a certain way you should act.”
A lot of us looked confused. Dating? Relationships? What was this guy talking about?
“How many of you young men believe in God?” All ten of us raised our hands. “How many of you young men think that you’re gonna get married one day?”
Saxon left his hand down. Nine of us raised them up. As they started counting, he eventually raised his hand up, too.
“Yeah, I’ll probably be like forty-five, but I will marry one day,” Saxon joked.
I had no doubts he believed his own bull.
Then Mr. Blue went on to tell us that one day when we got married and believed God’s principles for our union, then we as men would be deemed as head of household. He told us we would be looked upon to lead and he didn’t think we could learn how to do that overnight. He said that we needed to be taught how to treat women right, even in our dating relationships.
Mr. Armstrong said, “If we would one day love and respect our wives, then in dating relationships, we ought to be able to be sincere and care about the young women we take out.”
A lot of us coughed on that one. Not me. I understood where they were coming from. One day I did want a family. One day I did want to have some woman follow me. And as I thought about how my dad had been leading lately, I knew deep down I didn’t want that, even though my actions weren’t that different from my father’s. We both were committed to someone else and got busted.
Cleo Armstrong said, “See, all that being a dog, trying to be a player and have many women and stuff is for punks. True men of valor, men with principles and integrity, can date a few honeys at a time, but keep everything on the up and up honestly. Not trying to take anybody for anything. Having serious relationships right now is kinda crazy, anyway. You guys are only seniors in high school. You’re ’bout to enter into college. Trust me there are going to be plenty of fine babes to blow your mind. What you don’t want to do now is break somebody’s heart. That stuff comes back on ya. And I believe in karma.”
I thought about what he was saying and I certainly knew I needed to get on my knees and ask for forgiveness ’cause I didn’t want anything negative to come back on me. Or had it already? Amandi had ran her mouth about me still being a virgin. Her loud mouth was ruining my reputation. And had I done so much damage to Tori that I hadn’t even received my payback yet? If that was the case, I did need to start praying.
I blurted out, “So do y’all think if you dog out a girl, that stuff will come back on you?”
“More or less. I mean, we’ve lived long enough to know that when you do wrong, you pay for it in some form,” Sylvester Blue answered.
We went on and on to talk about how you should end one relationship before stepping into another one.
Cleo said, “And even though some girls can never take no for an answer at least when you say it’s over verbally, you’re not responsible for what they do after you move on. It’s when you make them think you down with them and you still having fun in other places that it’s your fault. That’s when character gets into question.”
We ended up doing some role reversals. In one scene, a guy broke up with a girl. In one version, she took it well; in one version she didn’t take it so well. We all came away learning to take the high road. Being the gentleman, bowing out and not forcing yourself on her was the right way to go.
We also talked about other dating do’s for gentlemen, like holding the door for our date. Or when a guy asks a girl out, he should pay and try and always meet her parents before taking her out. From what the Omegas say, we can definitely earn brownie points with the ladies this way.
Though my parents had told me this growing up, I enjoyed the session given by two cool guys. I got the message. I knew I needed to tighten up a little bit. Even though I could dog out some women because of my popularity status, it didn’t mean I should. I didn’t really want Tori anymore. My feelings for her had changed, and I was glad things were over. And Amandi really wasn’t my speed. So I’m glad we were over as well.
Whenever I got that next girl God would send my way, I was gonna remember all the things I’d learned here. And hopefully implement them to make God proud. I was a gentleman and I now knew I needed to treat women better.
“Oh, now since you homecoming king and all you don’t have time to do no favors for your big sister, huh?”
“Now why you had to throw that all in my face?” I asked Payton over the phone as she was trying to bully me into coming to some Fellowship of Christian Athletes high school retreat.
I was not excited about going to the woods with some people I didn’t even know. Supposedly, it was this cool resort site in Stone Mountain, Georgia. Driving two and a half hours to be way up on a mountain really wasn’t my idea of fun.
“Perry, consider the invitation. There’s gonna be tons of athletes there.”
“Sis, I just don’t wanna drive there.”
“Okay. I’ll call you right back.”
I just knew I had her off my back. But then, ten minutes later the phone rang and it was Payton again.
“I talked to Tad and he told me his cousin Savoy is coming with one of her girlfriends. He talked to her, and she said that since you’re only ten minutes away, as long as her dad says it is cool for her to pick you up, then she would drive. You have any more excuses?”
I knew this was a Christian event, and I felt sorta bad. However, I had to admit that after learning Savoy was going, my interests were a little bit higher. I kept my thoughts in check, though. After all, we were just friends and all, and I knew she had a boyfriend. However, she did come to my birthday party, so I knew she had some interest in me, even if it was only a little bit.
“So when are we going to know if her dad says it’s okay?” I asked my sister.
“See, I knew you’d be down to come to this thing if it was all about girls and football. Boy, you better get your life straight. Lately, you’ve been real excited about the wrong stuff. You need to be excited about God like that.”
“Pay, don’t be preaching to me. Be happy I’ll come.”
“Tad’s gon’ talk to his uncle. Call you later.” My sister got off the phone with much attitude.
After I hung up, I felt compelled to get on my knees and pray. It’d been a long time since I actually gave God his real reverence. My sister thought I didn’t hear stuff she said. Actually, a lot of times I didn’t pay her much mind. But a lot of times the things she mouthed off to me made sense to me.
So I prayed:
“Lord, I have been really caught up with football lately. And you know girls have been on my priority list, too. I’m just keeping it real. I’m willing to go on this retreat this weekend and maybe it’s all for the wrong reasons. But if it actually works out and I go, help me understand You more. I’ll be open-minded. Amen.”
Three days later, I was in the car with Savoy and her friend Ellis headed to the Atlanta area for the FCA retreat. Ellis was a pretty girl: dark mocha-colored skin, petite, with a short, fly curly hairdo, curves in the right places and spunky. She was checking me out from the moment I got in the car.
Savoy, on the other hand, was sorta hard to read. She was cordial and nice and everything, but because she was concentrating on the road, it was hard to make her out. I wasn’t trying to win her over or anything, but I didn’t want the ride to be a drag. Remembering my seminar on how to take the lead, even though this wasn’t a dating relationship, I was a perfect gentleman.
So I tried to ease the tension and said, “Savoy, thanks for letting me tag along with you guys. I’ll be able to drive if you want. Pops said our insurance would cover it if something was to happen.”
“No problem, Mr. Skky. I appreciate you saying that. I’ll keep that in mind.”
“Ooh, ooh!” her friend teased. “Girl, he’s a keeper.”
Savoy made a smirk.
“I ain’t talking ’bout for you, you got already got a man. I’m the single one. We’re already bonded. His name’s Perry, my name’s Ellis.”
I was confused. I didn’t know what that had to do with anything. And then all of a sudden this girl said, “We’re a clothing line. We already go together. Get it? Perry Ellis ...”
The three of us just started laughing. Then Savoy put on this gospel CD by J Moss. As I leaned my head back and listened to the some of the words, I was just taken over by something I hadn’t felt in a while. It wasn’t about the ride. It wasn’t about the girls. It wasn’t about football. It was about worshipping God.
I just remembered the chorus singing out so well, “No matter who or what we are, we must pray.” It was like before I had even got to the retreat, God was answering my prayer. He was letting me know Him more.
And this song was saying that to get to know God more, I just needed to give praise and give thanks to Him. I learned to just be into Him and expect good things in return. The three of us spent the next hour talking about just that. Ellis tried to get off subject every now and then, but Savoy and I knew we were very focused where God was concerned.
Stone Mountain Park was absolutely beautiful. They had some events on the campground. But most of the stuff was taking place in the Evergreen Hotel. It was a Marriott resort. My sister had hooked me up. Although I was used to being in nice hotels because of all the recruiting, this was better. It was just nice to get away and not have to worry about someone wanting something.
At first I was excited because I thought I was going to get to know Savoy better. Before the end of the first day, however, I was beginning to know God more. It was an experience I couldn’t explain.
The Georgia Tech chaplain I’d met a couple of weeks ago was giving the evening message. Hearing him present the Gospel charged me to want to live my life for God. He was absolutely dynamic and passionate. He talked about athletics, but then he took stories from the Bible and made them apply to how he walked with God.
So I sat on my seat and listened while he closed his sermon. “So, athletes, if you’re in that crunch time and need something positive to happen in your life, remember Moses’ story. God can deliver. Remember when you’re thrown into the lions’ den, God can get you out. When you sense the Holy Spirit leading you to do something that you and everyone else thinks is crazy, just follow that intuition. Keep letting God lead you. Remember Noah’s flood was going to come, and yours will, too. You need to be prepared. And under God’s umbrella, He protects you and keeps you safe. In order to follow God and know that He delivers, you gotta trust Him. And so I close with the story of Peter. God said he could walk on water, but he just had to get out of the boat first. So wherever you are in your life, get out of the boat. Know that God’s got it. Know that Jesus wants to praise you and intervene. Even if you have accepted God into your life, make nothing more important than Him.”
I sat there with tears in my eyes because I had been more focused on many other things—grades, girls, cars, football, scholarships, money—everything but God. I felt bad, I felt sorry. Savoy took my hand, and I didn’t even notice until I looked up and saw her eyes were just as red and welled up as mine. Together we walked toward the front of the aisle while the soft music was playing.
We recommitted ourselves to Christ as the chaplain closed by saying, “Most people are either brought out of a situation, in a situation or about to get into one. As athletes, you’re faced with all three, all the time. But to be victorious whether you win a game, lose a game, get hurt, stay healthy, have to deal with the fame, have to deal with standing on the sidelines, or whatever it is, be a part of God’s team, and you’ll be victorious. It’s not about winning the trophy, being MVP or state champs ...”
He paused for a second and let all heads be bowed. I knew what he was saying. I understood it. I felt it as I squeezed Savoy’s hand tighter. I hoped she got it.
The chaplain said, “It’s about winning the crown.”