The first thing I saw when I opened my eyes next morning was a beautiful golden-haired girl, fast asleep in my spare bed.
Yuk! I thought. I’ve been sharing my oxygen with Awful Amber!
It’s amazing what a difference twenty-four hours can make. Yesterday I’d been so sure Amber would turn out to be my dream best friend. I’d even wished it was the holidays, so we could spend more time together. Now it was like I couldn’t get away from her fast enough.
I scowled down at her, like a grouchy bear who just found Goldilocks. Can you believe Amber looks perfect in her sleep? She doesn’t even dribble!
I got washed and dressed and went downstairs. I was SO dreading facing Mum. I could only think of one thing which would make someone sob her heart out, five days before her wedding day.
Either Mum or Andy must have decided that getting married was a big mistake. But for some strange reason, they hadn’t got around to informing me.
Suddenly I pictured those pretty peachy dresses hanging up in Mum’s bedroom. Promise you won’t laugh, but in my mind’s eye they were drooping. I got this huge lump in my throat. My parents’ marriage was over before it had even begun.
But when I went into the kitchen, I felt totally confused.
Mum and Andy were in there having a SERIOUS cuddle!! As soon as they saw me, they sprang apart, and I saw Mum had been crying again.
She quickly wiped her eyes. “Fliss, love,” she said. “Whatever happened last night? Andy came up to ask if you wanted to go with him to get a takeaway, and you were fast asleep.”
“Oh, yeah,” I said in a casual kind of voice. “I had this headache.”
But I was having major pangs of jealousy. Our family only has takeaways like, once a year. But we always get them from the same place – a restaurant called Bamboo, and it’s THE best Chinese food, this side of heaven.
Andy sighed. “I’d better go to work.” He gave Mum a soul-searching look. “Are you sure you don’t want me to stay home, Nikky?”
“No, I’ll be fine, love,” she said. And another long look passed between them, like they were talking in a code only they understood.
My heart gave a little flutter. They’ve kissed and made up, I told myself. They had a tiff, that’s all. Now everything’s cool and groovy again.
And for like five seconds, the five peachy little dresses perked up.
But deep down, my days as an ostrich were strictly numbered. Because if everything was so hunky-dory, why did both my parents still look worried to death?
As Andy went out, Callum came in, yawning. “I stayed up REALLY late,” he boasted. “And I had Chinese food. YOU didn’t, ha ha!” Boys just love to put the boot in, don’t they?
“Great,” I said drearily.
Callum rubbed his tummy. “Amber let me have her last spring roll,” he added. And he swaggered off with his cereal to watch breakfast TV.
Mum grinned. “Callum thinks Amber’s great. He actually fell asleep against her shoulder last night.”
“Oh, really,” I said, in what I hoped was a non-committal voice.
But inside Grouchy Bear was yelling, “Keep your hands off my brother, Goldilocks! He’s mine!”
Mum poured me some juice. She kept darting anxious looks at me. “Don’t worry. I’ll keep Amber entertained while you’re at school,” she said brightly. “I thought I’d take her and Jilly to Bradgate Park.”
“Mmnn,” I mumbled.
Mum darted another look from under her lashes. “Erm, Fliss,” she said. “About yesterday, when you came in?”
I didn’t know what to say, so I had a tiny sip of juice.
Mum laughed. “I think everything just suddenly got on top of me.” She was smiling, but her voice had a definite wobble in it.
“Mum, is everything OK?” I blurted out. “I mean you still love Andy, right?”
Mum gasped. “What EVER made you say that, you funny girl?” she asked.
I replayed that moment over and over, all the way to school. What EVER made you say that? What EVER made you say that? Each time, I got the same result.
Captured on my mental video tape, Mum looked and sounded genuinely shocked at my question.
As I saw it, there were three possibilities.
Either:
1) I REALLY had nothing to worry about.
2) My mum should definitely be put up for Actress of the Year.
Or:
3) My mum was shocked because I’d finally twigged something was wrong.
In other words, the whole situation was still about as clear as mud.
I decided not to tell my friends about my latest worry. It seemed like I was always crying on their shoulders these days. Plus, the Mum and Andy worry was kind of private.
“Hi!” I said brightly, as we all met up at the school gate. “Mum says are you all still on for after school?”
They looked at me as if I was speaking Martian.
“We’re going to Leicester, remember? Shopping, then a serious pig-out at Pizza Hut!”
For some reason my friends seemed uncomfortable.
“I’d love to,” said Lyndz. “But I’ve got this stupid thing I have to do.”
“Me too,” said Frankie. “Not the same thing,” she added hastily. “A different stupid thing, that I totally forgot about.”
Rose had gone red. “I can’t come, either.”
Honestly, I felt embarrassed for them. I glared at Kenny. “What about you? Have you got a stupid thing you just remembered you forgot?”
Kenny shook her head. “Uh-uh. The fact is, I don’t think I’d enjoy Amber’s kind of shopping. Plus, I totally wouldn’t enjoy her company!”
I stared at them. “But you said you’d love to come!”
“We hadn’t met Miss Fabulous then,” Kenny pointed out.
“But then it’ll just be me and Amber,” I said. The thought made me break into a cold sweat.
My friends looked sheepish.
“It’s just a shopping trip,” I pleaded. “You don’t have to marry her. You don’t even have to talk to her if you don’t want.”
“No,” said Lyndz unhappily. “But we’d have to listen to her.”
Frankie put her arm around me. “It’s not personal.”
“Yeah, right,” I said gloomily.
“Just tell your mum you won’t go,” said Kenny. “That’s what I’d do.”
I shook my head. “I can’t.”
“Why not?” everyone said at once.
“Then she’d guess me and Amber don’t hit it off.”
“So what?” said Kenny. “There’s no LAW which says you’ve got to be buddies with your mum’s friend’s daughter!”
“It would hurt Mum’s feelings,” I said.
Kenny rolled her eyes. “Fliss, you are such a lightweight.”
I clamped my lips together and counted to ten. You don’t know you’re born, Laura McKenzie, I thought darkly. You have NO idea what I’m going through.
I think Rosie did, though. She said softly, “Probably Fliss thinks her mum has got enough stress with the wedding and everything.”
“Yeah,” I said. “I do actually.”
“So how’s it going with those four somethings?” Lyndz asked, to change the subject. Then the whistle went and it was time to go into school.
As the day went on, I got more and more depressed. Then on the way home, I had another one of my psychic flashes. This trip was bad news, I just KNEW it.
The instant I stepped inside the house, I heard Amber in full flow. “Nikky, I had the best time today. That olde worlde house had such an awesome atmosphere! Gosh, I just came out in goosebumps all over!”
I was in the living room by this time, but no-one noticed me for ages. Mum and Jilly were too busy listening to Amber gushing on about Lady Jane’s awesome house, until I thought I’d totally throw up!!
I went to give Mum a hug. “Mum,” I hissed in her ear. “I’m really tired. Mrs Weaver made us work incredibly hard today. Maybe you should go to Leicester without me.”
Mum laughed. “You’ll feel better once you get out of those school clothes! I’ll give you ten minutes to get changed, then we’ll go.” She beamed at Amber. “Once that girl hits the shops, she just shops till she drops.”
Amber went into fits of laughter. “Gosh that is SO spooky! Are you sure Felicity and I aren’t long-lost twins?”
I looked up in surprise. But it was my mum that Amber was merrily bonding with, not me.
Poor old Callum was looking glum. Patsy had offered to babysit, and I think he was terrified she’d be cooking his tea!
“I’ll bring you back a treat,” I told him.
“Fizz Bombs,” he said at once. “‘They blast your buds’. Two packets. No, THREE!”
“Get out fast, before he demands a plane to Cuba,” Jilly giggled.
But my brother flung his arms round me, giving me one of his desperate cling-on hugs. Mum had to peel him off me like Velcro. We closed the door on frantic yells of “It’s not fair! It’s not fair!”
“I’m sorry I didn’t meet your friends, Fliss,” said Jilly, as we drove out of the village. “Amber’s been telling me all about them.”
Amber was staring out of the window, so I took the opportunity to pull a horrible face. It sounds babyish, but it made me feel a very tiny bit better!
Mum and Jill were nattering about all these people they used to know, back in the days before I was born. People with nicknames like Buzz and Miggsy, so you couldn’t tell if they were male or female.
“You’re very quiet in the back, girls,” Mum said suddenly.
“Uhuh,” we both mumbled.
“Not feeling sick are you, Fliss? My daughter suffers from dreadful travel sickness,” Mum announced to the world.
Amber rolled her eyes. “Great,” she muttered.
“I’m fine,” I said stonily. “Don’t you worry your head about me.”
There was another long silence.
“I don’t know what you girls want to do,” Mum said at last. “But I’ve got to find the perfect going-away dress, for after the wedding.”
“I’ll help,” said Amber at once. “I know just the style which will suit you. You are so lucky, Nikky. You’ve got bone structure most supermodels would die for.”
I watched Mum turning pink in her driving mirror.
“Honestly, all this fuss!” I burst out. “I suppose next you’ll have to get a coming-back dress? I mean, get real, Mum, you can’t close your wardrobe as it is. What do you need another dress for?”
You’re shocked, aren’t you? So was I! I had no IDEA all this spiteful stuff was going to come splurting out of my mouth.
Suddenly Mum went all efficient. “It’s probably best if I park in the shopping centre,” she said. She gave a hurt little laugh. “If I don’t miss the signs, that is.”
“Perhaps you’d like me to look out for signs for you, Nikky?” Amber said at once, in her fake helpful voice. “I do that for Mom all the time, back home.”
“Would you, Amber? That would be really useful,” said Mum warmly.
Goldilocks was the perfect name for that girl. In the space of one school day, this golden-haired girl wonder had totally taken my place.
Can you see what Amber was doing? She was being ME, only better! The Hollywood version of Felicity Sidebotham – the sweet, helpful, style-conscious daughter of my mother’s dreams.
I trailed after them out of the car park, watching them all being giggly girls together. So what was I meant to do now? Disappear in a puff of smoke?
Suddenly this cold rage came over me. Huh, you wish, Goldilocks, I growled. So they wanted me to be Amber’s long-lost twin, did they? Then that’s what I’d be. The scary wicked twin who gets her revenge!!
I really went for it. I sulked and sighed and rolled my eyes all around the shopping centre. I’m not exaggerating. I was so bad, I made Wednesday Addams look like the Milky Bar Kid! Well, OK, so I’m exaggerating slightly. But you get the picture.
The spooky thing was, once I started I totally couldn’t stop.
When Mum came out of a cubicle looking drop-dead gorgeous in this sweet dress and asked me what I thought, did I tell her how great she looked? I did not. I just yawned, and said “Whatever,” as if I couldn’t care less. I hated myself for doing it, but it was like my wicked twin sister had totally taken me over.
And that meant that Amber got to say MY lines. “Andy is going to go crazy when he sees you in that colour,” she cooed.
“He’ll go even crazier when he sees the bill,” I muttered.
Instead of going for pizza, we went to some new pancake parlour Amber liked the sound of. By this time I’d figured out the perfect way to punish Mum for preferring Amber to me. I probably told you, Mum is really diet-conscious? So I ordered this TOTAL calorie-fest. Pancakes, waffles, doughnuts with hot fudge sauce.
Guess what that scheming little Goldilocks did then?
“My, those waffles look so-o good,” she cried, like some kid in The Waltons. And she ordered EXACTLY the same things!
Our mothers didn’t have a clue what was going on. Only Amber and I knew she had just declared war.
The trouble is, I don’t like sweet stodgy food that much. And after stuffing my face for fifteen minutes or so, I was already slowing down. But Jilly’s daughter kept right on going – dipping, chewing and swallowing.
I’ve got to admit, all Amber’s acting classes had totally paid off. She had this unbelievably innocent expression, like she truly had no idea that she was subjecting me to Death by Doughnut!
Not only that, but my revenge ploy didn’t even work. Mum actually thought it was funny. She and Jilly got all misty-eyed about the night they stayed at a friend’s house, and Jilly got this sudden chocolate craze, and Miggsy (or maybe Buzz) baked them this amazingly gooey cake.
“The trouble was, it wasn’t ready until after midnight,” Mum giggled. “We were dying to go to bed, but she refused to let us go to sleep until we’d eaten every last crumb!”
Mum always gives everyone the impression she was a real Nikky No-Mates when she was growing up. Now it seemed she’d been sharing midnight cake with crowds of kids, all with cool and groovy nicknames. It made me feel like I didn’t really know her.
Quite suddenly I pushed my plate away.
“I think Fliss has had enough,” said Amber sweetly. “Don’t worry, it won’t go to waste.”
And she actually took my last doughnut off my plate and popped it into her mouth!!
If I wasn’t feeling so miserable (also REALLY sick), I’d have shoved her smiling face right into my plate, saying, “Then DO have the rest of my sauce, Amber, while you’re at it!”
But we both knew she’d won, so I just stared straight ahead, waiting for my ordeal to end.
Only it didn’t.
That night Mum came to find me in the kitchen, where I was gulping down water, trying to dilute the ill-effects of my fudge-fest.
“Sweetheart,” she said. “I’ve got something to tell you.”
I had my second psychic flash of the day. You’re not going to like this, Fliss, I thought.
“The thing is, Jilly isn’t just my best friend. She’s a real soul mate,” Mum blurted out.
I stared at her.
“And that makes Amber really special too,” she said awkwardly. “Which is why I want her to be one of my bridesmaids.”
“You’re kidding,” I whispered.
“I realise this is a bit sudden,” said Mum. “But I just know it would make Jilly really happy.”
I didn’t plan to sit down – it was more like my legs gave way underneath me, so that I kind of fell into a kitchen chair. My head was spinning with all this urgent stuff I needed to say. But in the end, I just croaked, “But there’s only five dresses.”
“I know,” said Mum sadly. “It’s a shame, but there it is.”
I couldn’t speak. It had been touch and go for some time, but the happy sparkling wedding of my dreams had finally morphed into a total nightmare.
Because in order for Awful Amber to be a bridesmaid, one of my friends would have to stand down.