The beginnings of a headache crowded Liam’s temples. Between the guilt, the worry, and the unwanted crush, he hadn’t slept well for the past several nights. He’d also been avoiding Molly Sue as much as possible, and that only added to the massive weight on his heart.
He just didn’t know how to connect with her these days, especially with all this new Jennifer nonsense. Even if he was a less than adequate father, he could still be an exceptional provider. Work made sense—it always had. Putting in long hours meant more money, and more money meant a comfortable upbringing for Molly Sue and, eventually, a sizeable inheritance as well.
The pain burrowed deeper into his skull. Seemed the Excedrin he’d taken earlier was doing nothing to stave off this migraine. He needed to push through, considering he was no good to anyone if he spent the day sleeping off the throbbing ache in his brain.
A burst of new messages appeared in his e-mail inbox, giving him plenty to distract himself. Someone needed to move up the deadline on his quarterly evaluation. Someone else had a new product coming to market and needed a full launch proposal, and another client needed an ROI statement for his consulting services to date by the close of business. It would be a busy day, to say the least.
He sighed and tucked in with work for the latter client. Despite Liam’s glowing recommendations and stellar performance, this particular CEO always doubted the value he brought to her company. That’s why he’d be delivering a letter of resignation along with the report that day. With a waiting list a digital mile long, he didn’t need to take guff from anyone—least of all a business owner who was every bit as neurotic as she was inept.
Somewhere in the midst of crunching all the necessary numbers, a knock sounded on his office door.
“Come in,” he called, rubbing at his temples as he spun in his chair to face the visitor.
Molly Sue’s private tutor hovered uncomfortably in the doorway, a single steno notebook clutched to her chest. “Mr. James, I’m sorry to interrupt, but I need to talk with you.”
“Of course, Megan. Is everything all right?”
The girl’s lack of eye contact and notably quickened breath suggested bad news was on its way. “Um, yes and no. Friday will be my last day teaching Molly Sue.”
Too many words crowded his brain all at once. Only one managed to escape: “Why?”
Megan mumbled as she glanced back toward the door, playing the deer in headlights even though she’d been the one to summon the car. “I’m really sorry. Molly Sue is a great kid, but a last-minute spot opened up in the study abroad program this semester and I’m going to Paris.”
“I’ll pay you more,” he insisted, hoping his desperation wasn’t too off-putting. “How much will it take? Please, Molly Sue needs you.”
“You’ve always been fair to me, Mr. James, and I appreciate the opportunity, but it’s not about the money. I get to live in Paris while working toward my degree. How could I pass up an opportunity like that when I know it’s not a chance I’ll ever have again?”
“Could you at least give me two weeks’ notice so I can find someone else to take over?” Liam had always been a fair employer. He paid well and offered praise frequently. He planned to give his problem client a full month’s notice, yet somehow his own employee could only offer two days?
“The program starts next week, so no. I can’t.” Megan eyed him cautiously as she pushed her open notebook toward him. “Look, I’ve talked with a few friends who major in education, too, and may be able to take my place. But . . .”
“But what?”
“I really think you should consider enrolling Molly Sue in school again. She’s just alone too much. She needs other kids in her life, needs the socialization opportunity. I don’t mean to criticize, but she can’t live her whole life trapped inside these four walls. She deserves better than that. Don’t you think?”
Liam might have been angry if he weren’t so sad. Of course Megan was right, but sending his little girl back to school felt like erasing another memory of Rebecca, writing over more of her story.
Megan had been a part of that story, too. She’d helped share the load with Rebecca in her final months. She knew their situation, their pain, and now she was leaving them, too. Liam’s head throbbed as if to remind him that he had more than one kind of pain to manage that day.
Bringing in someone new would mean reopening wounds that still bled. Eventually there’d be no life force left within him at all.
At least then he’d be with Rebecca again.
* * *
Molly Sue and Rebecca
Sixteen months ago
Molly Sue looked out at her big yard through the big window in her big house. The heat danced near the driveway as it so often did on hot summer days. When that happened, she liked to pretend she was underwater, a mermaid living in a coral castle rather than a little girl living in the woods outside of town.
Soon school would start again, and she would be one of the big kids. First grade! That meant she’d be at school all day instead of just a half day. She felt equal parts excited and sad. She loved learning and seeing her friends, but she would also miss spending the full days with her mommy. Mommy could leave for Heaven anytime, and then Molly Sue wouldn’t see her again for a very long time. She understood that better now, and whenever she thought about it, she’d sneak away to her room to cry into her Elsa bedcovers.
But she wasn’t going to think about it now. No siree bob! She had to be brave and strong and good like her mommy had asked her to be. It was all part of her angel training.
“Molly Sue,” her father said, laying a hand on her shoulder from behind.
She jumped back, startled. She hadn’t heard him leave his office or come down the stairs or tiptoe up to her at the window.
“Sorry, I didn’t mean to scare you.” He smiled and held out his arms for a hug, which Molly Sue gladly returned. She liked to squeeze as hard as her muscles could to see if she could knock all the air out of her big, strong daddy. He always pretended it worked, but Molly knew he was faking.
“Oof!” Daddy said, letting out a giant puff of air like the big, bad wolf, except happy and friendly, not scary or in the mood to eat little piglets.
She giggled even though she still felt sad about Mommy inside her heart. If they were all mermaids like Ariel, would the cancer have been able to find Mama deep under the sea? Or would they all be able to live happily ever after like in the movies?
Sometimes—even lots of times—mommies died in the movies, and everyone still ended up happy when the story ended. Did that mean Molly Sue would be happy, too, like Cinderella or Elsa or Bambi? Why did mommies have to die so much, and was it her fault since she had secretly wished to be a princess when she blew out her birthday candles?
“Hey, what’s on your mind?” her daddy asked, giving her a playful jab on the shoulder.
She smiled up at him and stuck her tongue through the place where her tooth was missing at the front of her mouth. “Mermaids,” she answered honestly.
He laughed. “That was not an answer I expected. Love you, kiddo. Now, hey, your mom wants to see you in our room. Better head on up.”
She nodded, returned the I love yous, gave him another tight, wind-knocker-outer hug, and skipped up the stairs.
“There she is,” Mommy said with her quiet inside voice. She patted the bed next to her. “Hop on up. I want to talk to you.”
Molly scrambled onto the bed and waited for her mommy to reveal whatever secret she had. At least she hoped it was a secret and not that she was in trouble.
Her mother smiled and pushed the hair behind Molly Sue’s ears—big ears, but not big enough to fly like Dumbo. “You know that summer is almost over, right?”
Molly Sue pumped her head up and down. “Yes, and school starts, too!”
Mommy frowned. “That’s what I wanted to talk to you about. Daddy and I have decided not to send you to school this year.”
“What? Then how will I get smart?”
“You already are smart, silly girl. If it’s okay with you, we want to keep you home. And I’ll be your teacher.”
“So everyone will come to school at our house?”
“No, sweetie. Just you and me. Is that okay?”
“Is this because you have to go to Heaven?”
Her mother nodded. “Yes, and also because I’m selfish and want to keep you all to myself.”
“I’m selfish, too, Mommy,” Molly Sue said, snuggling into her mother’s embrace.
“See, I knew we were just alike, you and me,” Mommy said with a wink. “School doesn’t start until next week, so how about we make some popcorn and watch a movie instead? What movie should we pick?”
Molly Sue thought long and hard about all her favorite movies. It took her a while to find one where the mommy doesn’t die and everyone still gets to live happily ever after. “How about Tangled?”
“That’s the perfect choice,” her mother answered.
* * *
Jennifer worked her long blonde hair into a braid. She always woke up at seven on the nose, which gave her precious little time to get ready on work days, but she preferred being well rested to falsifying a fresh face. After all, what did the toddlers in her class care whether she applied eyeshadow and mascara?
She wrote out a quick check for half her month’s rent along with an apology to her landlord, taking extra care to dot the i’s in her first and last name with hearts. Being around kids all day long did keep the whimsy alive, but she also held on to the hearts to pay homage to her late friend.
Back when they had been in school, and Rebecca James still went by Becky White, they had both written their names this way. In fact, Jennifer had adopted the signature specifically because she’d seen Rebecca sign hers in the same way.
Jennifer had always liked the older girl, who’d started as her sister’s friend but quickly became hers as well. They’d become closer still, once Rebecca had returned from college with Liam in tow—an event that synced up almost exactly with her sister’s big move out to Baltimore. And so, Rebecca had filled the newly vacated spot in Jennifer’s life, becoming so much more than just a friend, but also something of a sister.
Funny how much things changed. First Jessica had gone, then Rebecca, and now here was Jennifer, carrying on the same as ever. She still had dear friends in Maisie, Elise, Summer, and Kristina Rose, but it just wasn’t the same as it had been with Rebecca.
“I’m sorry,” she whispered to the wind as she tucked the letter and check into her mailbox and put the flag up. “I’ll have the rest soon,” she promised before skipping off toward the daycare. If she lingered here any longer, she’d miss the first kids arriving for the day. Besides, it was her duty to open up shop on Fridays.
Better late with money than time. At least money could eventually be repaid.
Her landlord, Jonas Bryant, would surely understand, and if for some reason he didn’t? Well, Jennifer could sic his sister Maisie on him to make her case.
Yup, everything would be A-OK.
“Good morning, Jennifer,” the daycare owner, Patsy Carroll, said, welcoming her the moment she unlocked the door.
“Oh, Patsy. I didn’t expect to see you so early today. To what do I owe the pleasure?” Jennifer smiled, but Patsy did not. In fact, the creases on her forehead were the deepest Jennifer had ever seen them in more than three years of working together at the Kitty Kids Daycare. Normally the creases only came out around quarterly tax time, so Jennifer knew whatever news her boss had to share that morning couldn’t be good.
“Come in. Sit.” Patsy motioned toward the tiny office she kept near the front of the building.
Jennifer followed her silently and took a seat. The kittens that adorned the pink wallpaper seemed to know something she hadn’t figured out yet. How could kitties playing with yarn feel so menacing? The old Felix clock flicked its tail back and forth as it counted down the seconds to whatever big reveal Patsy had planned.
Jennifer hated the suspense. “You have me nervous, Patsy,” she said as her boss set a mug of coffee before each of them. “What’s going on?”
The older woman frowned as she folded her hands before her. “Jennifer, you’ve always been a tremendous asset to the daycare. The kids love you. You bring more creativity and enthusiasm than I could have ever hoped to ask for. Heck, I’ve even written you into my will. When I go, I can’t imagine anyone other than you taking this place over . . .”
“Oh, that’s so generous. Thank you so much for having faith in me.” Is Patsy sick? Is that what she wants to tell me? Suddenly, Jennifer felt very, very sad.
Patsy sighed. “Jennifer, please. This is hard enough as is.”
“I’m sorry. I didn’t . . . Please go ahead.” Jennifer tried to relax in her seat, but the tension kept her rooted in place.
“I can’t afford to keep you full-time anymore. The kids we have are moving on to elementary school, and we don’t have enough new children coming in. Paying benefits is expensive, and as much as I love you, I just can’t justify the costs. As it is, I can barely afford to pay the bills as they come in, but you know how it is. We do it because we love the kids. I know Kitty Kids has become like a home to you, and I hate that I have no other choice. I’ve tried everything, but . . .” The creases came back, and Jennifer hated how upset her mentor had become on her account.
“If you’d like to stay part-time, you are certainly welcome. I do suggest you find a new job to help make ends meet. If that means you can’t stay at Kitty Kids, I completely understand.”
Jennifer’s spine slowly softened as she slumped back in her chair. Patsy was okay, or at least she wasn’t dying, so that was good. But what would Jennifer do with her days now? How would she make enough to pay the past-due rent or to finance her life going forward?
Patsy lifted her mug with shaking fingers. “Jennifer? Please say something. I feel terrible.”
Jennifer lifted hers, too, and put on a smile. “Don’t. I appreciate everything you’ve done for me over the years. I understand how hard it is when there’s not enough money, but I’ll find something new. It’ll be okay,” she promised.
“How about a toast?” she suggested when Patsy sat in silence. She raised her coffee mug higher. “To new beginnings and new adventures.”
Patsy reluctantly clinked her mug against Jennifer’s. “How are you always so upbeat? This has been killing me for weeks, and you don’t seem upset.”
Jennifer shrugged. “Life is better when you expect the best from it. Besides, I know God has got my back. Everything is going to be just fine. Don’t you worry about me.”