As we become more comfortable with witnessing our thoughts, using a mantra and observing the breath as a focusing tool, we find ourselves enjoying silence as a quieting and rejuvenating activity. Silence can support deepening the experience of using a mantra and meditation. The activities below can be practiced to use silence in daily life.
While walking, practice watching your breath. After a short time, you will sense your breathing becoming deeper and your mind becoming stiller. This is a great time to repeat a mantra or focus on the breath coming in and out. This will deepen the relaxation and stillness inside and you will also notice more around you. Take note of how your senses are heightened naturally when you are focused on the breath.
Having a silent meal is an activity a family or class can do to experience a sense of quiet. You can decide to go into silence for a short time at home. You can invite family members to try this for 5-15 minutes or more. Keep a sense of humor about trying this. Do you remember the teenage brother in the movie, “Little Miss Sunshine,” who refused to talk to his family and would only write on a notepad? This is not the kind of silent retreat I am referring to! Instead, it is a choice you make because you feel it will help you to calm down, self regulate and experience inner stillness. This activity is not to be used as a punishment for any child. It is not intended to give someone “the silent treatment” or used inappropriately. If you are doing a silent meal with family just make it fun, and see how long people can be quiet. The point is not to punish or reward but just to try being away from all the chatter inside and out.
• Make clear boundaries with those around you when you will be on a silent retreat.
• Be sure to state clearly when you will start and when you will rejoin the family.
• Keep everyone informed about how they can get their needs met while you are being silent. This prevents your children from having a strong need to disturb you.
• Putting on a yoga DVD for the whole family to do together may also achieve the same results and help everyone quiet down.
• Do not punish or show anger at kids who can’t manage your quiet time.
• Offer the family the name of someone who will be physically present as the person that is available to them in the house, instead of you.
• If necessary, you can arrange for the children to visit with a friend or play date so you can have an undisturbed time.
• Do not recluse yourself leaving the children alone without supervision or unsafe in the name of a silent retreat. Use common sense.
• Turn your cell phone off.
• Maintain a sense of humor as people try to talk to you.
• Don’t be angry if you are disturbed; just witness yourself making an attempt to be silent.
• Accept if your children aren’t able to give you this privacy and organize a better support for everyone to have their needs met.
• Practice contentment with the results, even if it is just a short time.
• The more adult support you can organize for the children spending time with others, the easier it is to be successful at the activity.
• Avoid using the silent retreat to escape parenting responsibilities.
• When the children are cared for appropriately, begin your retreat by engaging in positive self-care activities that are nurturing to you.
• Use the time to contemplate, write in your journal, do yoga poses, meditate, walk in nature and do Pranayama or watching your breath quietly.
• Do the drop into heart meditation or three-step contemplation.
If you are a single parent and want quiet time try these tips.
• To change the tone of the space, get down on the floor.
• Turn off the TV and find games or quiet activities.
• Play a game to see how long everyone can be silent.
• Listen to relaxing music together lying comfortably on the floor.
• Read books to the children or have them look at books.
• Read a book yourself and request they do the same.
• Use the restorative poses for yourself.
• Set up the children in a restorative pose.
• Watch and do a yoga video all together.
• Make food or bake together.
• Listen to quiet music on Pandora Radio® and rest on the floor.
• Play quiet games, color, do art while listening to music.
• Set the timer so they know when it’s ok to talk to you in 3-15minutes maximum.
• Do not punish children who can’t tolerate the quiet.
• Be patient, the more you introduce quiet time, the easier it will be for the children to participate.
• Habits don’t change overnight, but practice is cumulative. The more times you practice quiet time, the easier it will be for the next time.
Set the tone that you are requesting the children play quietly and choose one or more of the following activities:
• Take a walk
• Go to a park
• Go for a ride in car
• Do people-watching
• Sit outside drawing
• Go to a café and read a book
• Go to a library
• Play at the beach
• Walk the dog
• Bicycle ride
Designating a time or place for silence, or a particular activity helps others orient and expect that routine. Whether we have experienced the quiet ambience in a library, a nap time at school or study hall, it can be created at home or in the classroom with simple guidelines.
Honoring silence in daily life can be as simple as turning off the radio and taking a moment to sit in the car and look at the sky on a busy highway and being fully present to that moment. It might be taking a minute to acknowledge the beauty of the day before heading indoors. When we allow ourselves to seek a silent activity either sitting or physically active, we are giving ourselves a gift of a retreat which is rejuvenating for the mind and body and empowers us in our daily lives for the next challenge.