“Grief shared is grief diminished.”
• To love and feel attached to another living being is to one day mourn. Because with every beginning there will be an ending. In every life there is also death. You have learned this most poignant of life’s lessons.
• Maybe you could teach what you are learning about life, love, and loss to others. Tell your friends and family about the six needs of mourning. Share with them how important it is that mourners have others who companion them in grief rather than “treating” them as if they have an illness that needs to be cured.
• “Healing” your loss and “curing” your loss are two different concepts. Healing is an active emotional and spiritual process in which you seek to be whole again. Curing is a medical term that implies that someone or something outside of you rids you of your grief. Your grief cannot be cured; it will always live inside of you.
• Share your wisdom in the safety of a grief support group that focuses on supporting parents who have experienced pregnancy loss. Encourage the group to try to distinguish their grief from their process of mourning. Teach them what you know about this distinction.
• Remember that each person’s grief journey is unique. Your grief journey will be influenced by many factors, including the circumstances of your miscarriage as well as the support you received in the hospital and beyond. Your experiences and wisdom will not be appreciated by everyone, so try not to take it personally if someone does not agree with your understanding of grief.
CARPE DIEM
Write your own definition of grief and mourning. Perhaps you can even put a picture or drawing to each word or definition. This will help you to actually see how your grief is different from your mourning.