“Life is really simple, but we insist on making it complicated.”
• There is no better time than now to take stock of what’s really important in your life. Once you do this, you may find that it is easy to discard what is weighing you down or not serving you.
• As you are doing the essential work of grief and mourning, it’s easy to become overwhelmed by all of the other tasks, demands, and commitments you have—keeping your relationship healthy, taking care of other children you may have, meeting demands at work, keeping your home up, fulfilling your obligations to committees you’re on, helping others who need you. If you can rid yourself of any extraneous burdens, you’ll have more time for your family and for healing.
• What is overburdening you right now? Have your name taken off junk-mail lists. Hire someone to clean your home. Stop attending any optional meetings you don’t look forward to or are unnecessary right now. Ask someone to help you with meals or childcare. Let your friends know that you will need to take a hiatus from PTA, carpool, or your neighborhood book club if you are part of these. Ask a friend to help you with running errands, getting groceries, paying bills, etc.
• Often your family and friends would like to help but don’t know how or what to do. Make a list of all the things that need to get done in a typical day then choose at least three of these that you can ask someone else to help with for the next month or so.
CARPE DIEM
Have a family meeting and take stock of your family activities calendar. Ask everyone present which activities they truly want to continue and which they would be happier without. Make cuts where appropriate. Maybe you can even fill in some of the extra time you all have with a little vacation get-away.