Jancey stared at her reflection in the bathroom mirror, relishing her brief moment of pseudo-solitude. Pseudo, because there were nearly three dozen people on the other side of the door, but solitude nonetheless. By her recollection, she hadn’t been completely alone in seven weeks.
Outside on Grace’s lawn, the committee mingled with the other fourteen final candidates ahead of the formal announcement of who would launch first. Wade Hackett was still being held in Hilo Medical Center after suffering complications from the water contamination. Apparently they’d discovered an undiagnosed kidney condition, one that undoubtedly would have proved fatal had he encountered a toxic bacteria after launch.
The catered dinner party Grace had arranged—another extravagant luau that should have been a delightful improvement over powdered shakes and precooked casseroles—would have been more enjoyable had it not been for the butterflies everyone suffered as they awaited the news.
They’d spent two days debriefing at Tenacity Centre, discussing as a group their successes and failures. All had suggestions for how to make the eight-month flight to Mars more stimulating, and their gradual colonization a social success. Intranet video games. Instructor guides for books so they could talk about what they read. Musical instruments. Art programs on their tablets. Digital puzzles they could work together.
After the group sessions, they’d been hauled in for team and individual interviews that seemed designed to uncover negative feelings related to the project or their partner.
Jancey knew enough to approach the entire exercise with professionalism, treating every question as though her selection depended on her response. She framed their success as “just doing our job,” and challenges as “interesting opportunities.”
She exited the bathroom to find Grace in the hallway, Duke and Sasha by her side.
“Do I get to say I told you so?” Grace asked.
“This is more of your torture, isn’t it?” She was already annoyed that Grace was holding out on her as to what the committee had decided during the day’s deliberations behind closed doors. Now she was gloating about Mila too.
She’d had no chance to talk with Grace about Mila, other than to acknowledge they were sleeping together now. Hard to sneak that by when she brought Mila to stay with her in the guest house.
“I think she’s adorable, and you’re adorable with her.”
“Let’s hope you still think so tomorrow. If we aren’t ecstatically happy, neither of us will be adorable.” She said it pointedly and stepped nose to nose with Grace.
“Give it up, Major Beaumont. I’m not allowed to tell you anything or Charles will have my hide. Wait for me.” She disappeared inside the bathroom with the dogs.
Jancey cooled her heels as much as she could, pacing the hallway anxiously. By now, the music of the luau had stopped, which meant the announcement was imminent. “Quit stalling.”
Grace and her canine entourage emerged and she looped her arm through the crook of Jancey’s elbow. “Very well, let’s go find out who’s going and when. But first, I have a question for you.”
More beating around the bush.
“I want to know what happens to you and Mila if you aren’t chosen.”
Her heart began to pound. “Are you serious, Grace?”
“Don’t read anything into that. I just want to know if it’s the real thing or just a marriage of convenience.”
As far as Jancey was concerned, it was a moot point, one she’d never even entertained. There was no way she and Mila would be completely shut out of the launch schedule. Even if they weren’t first, it was unfathomable they’d finish in the lower four. Or lower three, since Jerry and Wade were out.
“If by some outrageous act of idiocy we get axed from the program, I’m off to Sedona. I’d like it just fine if she came too, but I’d never ask her. She needs to stay on with the project and get herself in position to try again in a few years. If anyone understands that, it’s yours truly. Space isn’t something you give up on, not when you’re only twenty-seven.”
They reached the patio, where all eyes turned in their direction. Sir Charles was at the podium ready to make the announcement.
“Does that mean you love her? Or does it mean you don’t?”
“They’re waiting for us, Grace.”
Grace stopped cold. It was clear she wouldn’t take another step until she got a reply.
Jancey turned her back to the group and lowered her voice. “If the time comes when I want to say how I feel, she should hear it first. Now can we please go sit down?”
Her dodge worked, and they finally made it to their seats.
Sir Charles, wearing an aquamarine Hawaiian shirt and white pants that matched his goatee, gripped the sides of the podium and cleared his throat. “I know everyone is presently at the end of their tether, and there is probably nothing you want to hear from me other than the results of our deliberations. However, I want to take this opportunity to thank each of you for your dedication, your enthusiasm and your contributions to the Tenacity Project. We hope to be standing here again four years from now to announce the next class of colonists. Those of you who are not selected for the first wave are strongly encouraged to reapply.”
Four years. Jancey would be forty-seven. Still inside the window but would she have the heart to go through this again? She’d given it her best. Her partnership with Mila should have put them over the top.
Would they choose two women? As members of the selection committee, Grace and Danielle would champion that. But two lesbians? Yes, but maybe not first.
Jancey wanted to be first. That’s where the adventure was, the danger.
“Let me ask that you refrain from public announcements until after our press conference, which is scheduled for…” He checked with his assistant on the front row. “Tomorrow afternoon. I’m so very fortunate to be surrounded by well-organized, competent staff. I remember one day last spring when Melissa came into my office. I’d left my…”
An excruciating side story no one wanted to hear. Groans all around.
“Very well. Our fourth place team will launch in approximately seven years. That team is Kamal Sidhu and David Pillay.”
Kamal let out a whoop as both men jumped from their seats and shared a bear hug, slapping each other on the back.
That was a huge surprise, considering their early scores on concentration and fitness had landed them in the third group. On the other hand, Kamal was a trained astronaut from the Indian Space Agency, and they’d performed well enough on the challenges to vault several teams from the top two groups. These guys had their act together.
“The previous year, we’ll be gathering in Kamal’s home country of India to wish Godspeed to…Fujio and Suki Hatsu.”
Applause erupted for the couple, who stood together, all smiles, and bowed to the group.
A Japanese team. How many married couples would they choose? All of a sudden she was second-guessing her decision to fly under the radar. What if sharing her feelings for Mila had been the one piece of assurance the committee needed to know they’d work well together?
“Now it’s time for my beauty pageant speech, the one where I say if for any reason our winners cannot fulfill their duties, the runners-up will take their place. That is precisely our plan, ladies and gentlemen.”
Jancey listened for her name. Second place. It would be all right.
“Brandon and Libby Fagan.”
Her stomach dropped as she turned toward Grace, who refused to look her way. What will you do if you aren’t chosen? It was clear now why she’d asked. The board would never pass over a man like Marlon Quinn, nor shut out the European Space Agency.
She was barely aware of Mila’s cool hand clutching hers beneath the tablecloth as Sir Charles prepared his final announcement.
“And four years from now, we’ll be sending the first two humans to Mars. A team of very…very competent women. Jancey Beaumont and Mila Todorov.”
A tidal wave of relief washed over her as all the tension drained from her body. She couldn’t have stood if her chair had been on fire, but it didn’t matter. Everyone else was on their feet applauding. Even Marlon.
“We’re going to Mars,” Mila said, resting her forehead on Jancey’s shoulder. “I might cry. Tell them it’s an allergy.”
* * *
Mila twisted from side to side, luxuriating in the leather executive chair in Grace’s study. It was perhaps the finest chair her butt had ever known, so fine the designers of Tenacity needed to come right away and take down all the specs so they could replicate it for the ship.
Sir Charles had asked them not to make public announcements, but Grace assured her it was fine to tell her family.
True to her word, she’d Skyped first with her grandmother, whose reaction was equal parts pride, alarm and despondency. Pride would win out over alarm eventually, but she would never be okay with Mila leaving the planet forever.
The next call went to her mother, who failed to answer. Ten a.m. in Berlin. She probably was giving a lecture. Mila had sat in on a few of those and found them far more interesting than the lectures she got at home. Her mother would be annoyed she’d chosen Mars over Humboldt, but relieved she’d be a hundred-million miles from Frederica.
She couldn’t wait to introduce her mother to Jancey, a woman nearly as old as Frederica. A woman whose accomplishments put her in a class by herself. A woman who wouldn’t be intimidated by disapproval.
Her third call went to Vio, who refused to believe her news.
“Seriously, dude. I’m going to Mars with Jancey Beaumont. You get to say you knew me when.”
Vio stared back from her kitchen. “When what?”
“Never mind.” It was hard to tell sometimes whether Vio was trolling her or legitimately having trouble with English idioms. Mila had always insisted they speak to each other in English, since her comfort level with Dutch left something to be desired. “We’re going on a press tour starting next week. They expect me to wear a dress on TV in front of the entire world. Yet another reason to leave this planet.”
“You’ll rock it.”
“Rocket?”
“Yes, that’s what I said.”
“You were making a pun.”
“I wasn’t,” Vio insisted flatly. “When are you coming back to Europe?”
“We don’t have the training schedule yet. They’ve built most of the robotics in Cologne, so we’ll have to go there for training eventually.”
“Rotterdam’s only three hours by train,” Vio said. “I’ll come visit. It would be fun to see the robotics engineers’ faces when The General and JanSolo start taking down everything in sight.”
“You’re weird sometimes.”
“It makes me interesting.”
Mila couldn’t deny that, as their shared interest in unusual things—video games, fantasy worlds—was the foundation of their friendship. “Don’t ever change, Vio. I need to go. I’m still trying to reach my mother before she hears about me from one of her colleagues at Humboldt. She’ll pin the poor fool down for hours to tell him how ridiculous it is to go to Mars.”
“I have to go too. I need to study for my astronaut test so I can be the first person on Jupiter.”
Mila opened her mouth to spew forth the litany of reasons that would never happen but decided instead to leave Vio’s fantasy intact.
* * *
Jancey sat on a wicker love seat by the pool, mesmerized by the sight of the Red Planet rising in the eastern sky. Home.
When the last guest had gone, Grace turned out the lights on the patio so they’d have a better look at the night sky. Now she was walking out with a tray holding three snifters and a decanter. “I’ve already poured you a Hennessy so don’t even try to say no.”
“I wouldn’t dream of it.” A rare indulgence, one she’d enjoy without guilt now that the trials were finished. “Mars is up.”
“To Mars then,” Grace replied, raising her glass. She had changed from her floral dress to pink silk pajamas and a light robe. Her gray hair was down from its twist, hanging softly around her shoulders. “I know you’re going to ask, so I’ll save you the trouble. It wasn’t even close. You and Mila were nearly perfect.”
Though Jancey had known that in her gut, having it confirmed swelled her with pride. “Nearly?”
“Well…there was the matter of not securing your solar panel.”
“You mean so your little troublemakers couldn’t steal it? We couldn’t very well sit on the roof all night and guard it. Even if we had, I’m sure you’d have found another way.”
“We didn’t steal it. We were very careful to treat everyone equally. You all got the same equipment, the same supplies. All the same drills and conditions. If we tampered with your habitat, we tampered with everyone’s.”
“Are you serious?” She distinctly remembered Mila saying she’d seen someone climb onto their dome just before dawn. If that wasn’t the staff…then who was it?
“The important thing was you managed without it,” Grace said. She looked past Jancey as the dogs ran to greet Mila. “Here comes your new roommate.”
Jancey chuckled at her choice of words, and slid over to make a space on the love seat. “Did you finish your calls?”
“Never got my mother, but I wrote her an email. I apologize in advance if my phone rings in the middle of the night.”
“It’s okay.” She lifted Mila’s arm and scooted under it. A wave of nostalgia enveloped her as she recalled sitting in this very spot with Jill only two years ago. It wasn’t Jill she’d missed. It was the warmth and comfort of resting in another woman’s arms. “Grace was just saying we ran away with the vote.”
“That’s good, because I don’t think there’s anything we could have done better.”
“I felt that way about all the NASA people going in. Too bad about Jerry and Wade though.” And Marlon, though she didn’t want to put Grace on the spot by asking where he and Jean-Paul had fallen short. It was hard not to notice their discord.
“I’m just glad they’re all right now. Jerry will get another chance in four years when we draw the next crew.” Grace shook her head and sighed. “But Wade…I suppose he’s lucky he found out about his kidney condition now instead of later. That was very frightening for all of us.”
“Did you ever find out where the contamination came from?”
“No, the water truck was clean and so was the source.”
“It couldn’t have come from anything Jerry and Wade did because all of us had it.”
“Not all of you. Just the last four teams.” That was Jerry and Wade, the Fagans, Jancey and Mila, and the Clarkes.
“That’s bizarre.” And it went against everything she knew about the concentration of microbes in a closed water source. The only rational explanation was contamination by the worker who’d delivered it. A moot point now.
Grace tossed back her drink and set the glass on the tray. “As much as I’d like to stay and help you plan where to put the furniture in your new home, I need to get horizontal and let my Hennessy do its job.”
* * *
The warm breeze fluttered in off the ocean, a welcome change from the frigid nights on Mauna Kea. Mila lounged lengthwise on the love seat with Jancey leaning against her chest.
“I’ll never be able to look at the night sky the same way again,” she said, relishing the soft tickle of Jancey’s fingertips along her forearms. “Especially Mars.”
“Space draws me every day. It’s like being homesick…except I’ve never been homesick for any place here on Earth. I always had an insatiable longing to go out there, and once I did, all I could think about was going again.”
“And all I’ve ever dreamed about was going with you.”
“Thank you for keeping your promise.”
Mila chuckled and nuzzled the smooth skin behind Jancey’s ear. “Which promise was that? I made so many.”
“All of them. But mostly the one about winning. You promised me we’d win if I picked you.”
That seemed like a century ago. “We both know I rode your coattails. I’d never be sitting here if I’d teamed with anyone else.”
Jancey wasn’t so sure of that. Mila with someone else would have been stiff competition, a real challenge for her and Marlon. Even if they’d finished first, she wouldn’t have this feeling of exhilaration, this sense that everything in her life was now perfect. Not only was she returning to space, she was going with someone who could turn out to be the best thing ever to happen to her. That’s what Grace had tried to tell her—Mila was her chance to have it all.
* * *
Mila had nearly dozed off when Jancey left her arms, allowing the breeze to cool her chest. She would have been content to sleep under the stars, but it soon became apparent Jancey had something else in mind.
With an almost robotic gait, she followed Jancey to the poolside cabana, where a platform bed with half a dozen overstuffed pillows was positioned so it faced the ocean. The canvas curtains that covered three sides of the structure shielded them from view of the house.
Jancey eased her onto the bed before stepping away to light several candles. When she returned, she crawled slowly until she straddled Mila’s waist. “It’s time we had a talk.”
Talking was the last thing on her mind when Jancey sat back on her heels and removed her shirt and bra. Then she hovered above, allowing her breasts to brush her face.
She reached up to cup them but Jancey abruptly pulled away.
“No hands,” she whispered.
Again Jancey draped her breasts across her face, leaving one in place above her lips long enough for her to pull a rigid nipple into her mouth.
And then she took it away.
“I love you, Mila.”
Though spoken as softly as the breeze, the words thundered through her. Words she feared she might never hear, now spoken like a solemn vow.
“I’m sorry I didn’t tell you sooner. My heart felt it, but I wanted to be sure it was about feelings, not urges.”
“You were right to wait.” She ignored Jancey’s earlier admonition, clutching her hands to hold them over her heart. “And you were right about how it would feel to hear it.”
“I’m going to make sure you know it.”
Mila had never been one to submit in bed, and it was all she could do to keep still while her body was covered with kisses. Each effort to assert herself was met with a firm hand, a hardened thigh…whatever it took to hold her in place. It was only a matter of time before she lost the battle for control, and Jancey dictated the terms of her surrender.
Jancey’s lips tightened to tug on her nipple as her hand slid into the moisture between her legs. She used the essence on her fingers to paint a trail from her breast to the inside of her thigh, leaving no doubt what she intended to do next.
With her eyes tightly closed, she envisioned the path of Jancey’s mouth. From her breast to her ribs. To the concave hollow just above her hip bone. Along the smooth crease at the edge of her pubic curls that led to the source of her wetness. Lips smacked softly, halting and deliberate, but ending in a flurry as Jancey reached her ultimate target.
Mila opened her legs and dug her heels into the foam mattress to thrust herself upward.
Ever in control, Jancey was there to hold her down, wrapping both arms around her thighs and spreading her outer lips with her fingertips. Mila could do nothing but wait for the mercy that would come only when Jancey felt she had teased her enough.
She pictured Jancey’s tongue as it changed shape and texture. One moment it was soft and flat, lapping her as if to drink every drop. Then it went rapier-thin, stroking her inside and out. Plenty of pressure to stir a climax if only it would linger long enough over her swollen core.
Mila was bursting with want. When Jancey’s lips finally touched her where she needed it most, she broke the “no hands” rule again by gripping her head and holding it in place. “Give me this before I stop breathing.”
Jancey looked up, smiling with her eyes, and answered her plea. Voracious. Unrelenting. Emphatic.
They both lay still long after the tremors ceased, with Jancey resting her cheek on Mila’s thigh. The balmy air cooled her damp skin but it wasn’t unpleasant. Nothing could lessen her comfort, nor her happiness at being the one Jancey loved.