Chapter Seven

“You like her,” Greta teased when I called her the next morning.

“I was just trying to do something nice.” Where’s the harm in that?

“Uh-huh, and when’s the last time you cooked for someone else?”

I opened my mouth to say something but honestly couldn’t recall.

“Exactly.”

“It isn’t that big of a deal,” I said as I lowered onto the sofa.

“Are you trying to convince me or yourself?”

I didn’t have an answer for that, either. “It’s what neighbors are supposed to do. Even with ones that have houses that are too far away for me to see.”

“Maybe you’ve just been cooped up inside that house too long. You tend to get a little antsy when you can’t go out and walk.”

“Walk?” I laughed. “On this leg?” She had to be joking.

“Not into town or anything. Just do a lap around the house.”

And risk screwing everything up or finding something else I shouldn’t fix on my own? “No thanks.”

“I’m just saying, if I were you, I’d be chomping at the bit to get out of that house. There’s only so much you can do, so it makes sense that you’re thinking about her more than usual. Question is, are you thinking about Jackson just as much?”

She had me there. “I can’t get over how cautious and guarded he is.” And the way he reacted last night? I felt horrible.

“It’s hard meeting yourself, isn’t it?” my sister said with a smile in her voice.

“I was never that bad, was I?”

“Let’s see, there was that one time you freaked and back up into the waiter, knocking drinks all over the floor, and then there are the countless times I had to introduce you because you couldn’t speak.”

“I was nervous.”

“Nervous and incredibly shy,” she corrected me, “but you evened out eventually.”

“Yeah, mostly because we had a business to run and I had an easier time answering all of our sponsors’ questions.” Ask me my name and I’d freeze up, but ask me about an app I coded and I could go on for days. “He acted really strange when I mentioned their dad and again when I said I wanted to do something with the woods behind the house.”

“People like their privacy,” my sister said. “As for the woods, maybe he just sees it as part of his childhood and doesn’t want it to change.”

I could see that being a thing if he was eleven or twelve, but in his twenties? “There’s something different about them that I can’t place. It’s bugging the hell out of me.”

“Or you’re just bored out of your mind because you can’t do anything and are obsessing over all of the pointless details.” She paused, then said, “So, will Bree be around later?”

“No,” I said with a sigh. “They have a big job that’ll keep them away for most of the day.”

“And that, my friends, is what we call disappointment. I can hear it in your voice.”

“Because I have nothing else to do.” I released an exasperated sigh. “If I’m only here for a year, do you honestly think I’d be looking at someone else?” It didn’t matter how kind she was or just how much she and her brother had done for me. Bree was a neighbor, maybe even a friend, but not—

“You’re still thinking about her, aren’t you?” Greta asked. “Face it. You like her, and it isn’t just because she lives next door or because she pulled your butt out of the snow. Besides, you only being there for a year has no say in what the heart wants, and right now, yours—”

“Don’t finish that sentence,” I warned, getting up from the sofa to find something else to do.

“You’ve spent years building up other people’s relationships and supporting mine, but you’ve never given yourself the chance. You have a beautiful, strong woman living right next door, and you’re doing everything in your power to look away. Why?”

“Because it isn’t true,” I said again, this time with more effort than before. “It also doesn’t matter. The last time I fell for someone, she left months later. It didn’t take me long to get attached.”

“She isn’t a puppy, Car.”

“You know what I mean. I make connections.” Strong ones.

“But is fighting against those feelings right now really worth it? What happens when you come home? Will you miss her just as much? Will you regret never asking her out just because it didn’t feel like the right time?”

“Careful. You might start quoting lines from the app.”

“I wrote them, so I’m allowed to use them if I want. Besides, that doesn’t mean they aren’t right.”

“What’s the matter, Greta? Aren’t your books and daytime dramas enough?”

“I’m not doing this just so I can live vicariously through you. I’m doing it because I want you to be happy, and seeing as you refuse to come home, I just thought—”

“Well don’t.” Because it’s never going to happen. My heart sunk at that, at my determination to keep things exactly the way they were.

“Okay, okay, you win, but don’t come crying to me once you’re home and realize you’ve made a huge mistake.”

“But you want me home,” I reminded her. “If I fall for someone all the way out here, I might never leave.”

“You would,” she said with confidence.

“Oh, and why is that?” I asked as I juggled the phone from one ear to the other.

“Because you’d miss your baby sister even more.”

I already did miss her, and as we wrapped up our call, I couldn’t help thinking of home. I’d lasted over a month, which was way longer than anyone else had expected. If I left now—

“No,” I scolded myself as I made my way back into the bedroom. “You said you’d go away for a year and that’s exactly what you’re going to do.” It wasn’t like I was in any rush to go back. Aside from seeing my family, that is.

In the time I’d been away, I’d realized two things.

1. The app improved my life

2. The app ruined my life

As soon as things took off, my life wasn’t my own. I had to answer to sponsors, my folks, the media, and I just couldn’t do it anymore. At first, I thought my break was just because of the poor reviews and emails folks had left me, but after some time away and having the chance to reflect, I realized my happiness with the company had faded a long time ago.

The first year was great, but as soon as it wasn’t just me, Greta, and a few of our closest friends, things started to slide.

Eventually, I’d have to go back.

I don’t want to, a small voice said in the back of my mind. I’m not ready.

If I were completely honest with myself, neither was I.

 

 

Bree arrived first thing Friday morning with fresh coffee and a pink box full of pastries. The coffee I recognized from the diner. As for the pink box…

“Where did you get those?” I asked as I followed her into the kitchen.

“The client we helped yesterday owns a bakery on the outskirts of town. This was her way of thanking us for staying later than we were supposed to.” Her voice was heavy then, groggy.

“She kept you overnight?” I asked with surprise as she lowered onto one of the stools around the island, reaching for a pastry once she did.

“Normally, I would’ve declined, but seeing as we have the day off to recover…” She trailed off, closing her eyes as she enjoyed her first bite of pastry. “So worth it.”

“I don’t think I’d say that. No amount of sleep is worth… wow. Okay, I take it back.” If they were fresh, they would’ve been even better. The crust was buttery, flaky, and the thin layer of icing on top was just enough to add a little sweetness without going overboard. All of the flavors complimented one another perfectly.

“You see?” she asked as she pointed her pastry at me. “Totally worth it. In any case, if I start to nod off, feel free to send me home.”

“You know you didn’t have to come. I would’ve understood.”

Considering the dark bags under her eyes, she needed sleep a lot more than I needed the company. So what if I had to wait an extra day or two to see her? It wasn’t like I depended on her or anything. Not entirely.

“Can’t,” Bree said as she rested her head in her other hand. “Jackson has this routine where he does his weights then has to deep clean the house. It’s a stress thing, so unless I want to deal with a grump for the rest of the day, I’m better off hanging out over here.”

“Your brother’s starting to sound more and more like me. Especially when it comes to cleaning when I’m stressed. It might not help the clutter in my head, but it does distract me from it, if only for a little while.”

“Which was why you bought this place, huh? Can’t say I expected anyone to buy it the way it was, but to each their own.”

“The listing was a scam, but once I got here, it didn’t really make a difference. To be honest, I kind of like it. Making something my own instead of having it ready for me once I arrive.”

“Not a fan of those count-by-numbers, huh?”

“Oh gosh, no. I always used whatever color I wanted, even if I made The Little Mermaid’s tail purple instead of blue.”

“Purple’s way better,” Bree agreed, straightening her posture as she reached for one of the paper towels I had sitting in the middle of the table. “If you don’t mind my asking, why did you come all the way out here? You said you needed a break from the rush of the Internet, but was that really it? I only ask because most of the time when someone moves out here, they’re either running or hiding from something.”

“Not running,” I said. “Not intentionally. In answer to your question, I don’t know. I thought it was just because of all of the negative stuff I kept reading about our company. It was messing with my head, which was why I decided to unplug.”

“But?” she urged.

“That wasn’t it. Not all of it, anyway. I didn’t realize it before, but living a life run by sponsors, clients, and the media—”

“Isn’t a life at all,” she finished for me, smiling when I met her gaze. “It sounds like you were trapped. Maybe buried under everyone else’s expectations?” She lifted her brows.

“That just about covers it. I handled things just fine for a bit, but it took me moving all the way out here to realize I haven’t been happy for a while.” A very long while.

And it wasn’t just because I had a kind neighbor now who was sitting across from me. Even if Bree didn’t exist, even if we’d never met, I still would’ve reached the same conclusion.

“I don’t think I can ever go back,” I said to her as well as myself. “I thought this break would rejuvenate me. I thought it might make things easier once I went home.”

“But instead, you want to sell the company.” Her words surprised me.

“I don’t think I’d go that far, but yeah. I’m done with the stress and not living a life of my own. I’ve spent over seven years shaping that company and making it the best product that I can, but I’ve lost myself along the way.”

“Can you walk away from it?”

I shook my head as I honestly wasn’t sure. “That company defines me. It’s a big part of my life.”

“A life you just said isn’t your own,” she pointed out.

“My sister would never forgive me.”

“Then let her take over.” When I looked at her, she continued. “You’re still here until the end of the year, so think of your break as a crash-course for her. You don’t have to bring it up now as your thoughts might change, but I have a feeling once you do make up your mind, she won’t be upset with you at all.”

“How can you be so sure?” She’d never met my sister. She barely knew me at all.

“Because the woman sitting in front of me is funny, smart, and like anyone else, she has her limits. If anyone faults you for needing to step away or leaving the company completely, then they clearly can’t understand that. I don’t think your sister is the sort. The way you talk about her, I’m sure she’s thought about the same thing.”

“Then why hasn’t she said anything?”

“Why haven’t you?” Bree asked with a shy smile. “You’re both probably holding on to something just to keep the other one from getting hurt, but if you sit down with her and truly share how you feel about going back to work, she might surprise you. She might even join you.”

“Out here?” I asked with a laugh. “Unlikely.”

“Which is something she would’ve said about you before, am I right?” Man, she was good. “Talk to your sister,” she went on when I didn’t say anything. “Not now, but when you’re ready.”

Ready? “Ready for what?” I asked as she got to her feet.

“To live a life that’s all your own,” she said from her place in front of the sink.

“Is that even possible? To live a life without the influence of someone else?”

“I do it all the time, though to be fair, I’ve had a lot more practice when it comes to not giving a damn about what others think.”

I couldn’t imagine turning that part of myself off. “I’m too nice.”

“You can be,” she said with a nod, “but you’ll find that having a hard edge can save you from a lot. Folks might not like it when I decline a job because I know they’ll get in the way and keep me from doing my work, but skipping them means I have time for someone else. Don’t ever be afraid to say no, especially if saying yes can put you in a position you aren’t comfortable with.”

“You sound like you’re talking from experience.”

“Unfortunately, I am. It isn’t easy, and there are times we could really use the extra funds from those I turn away, but at the end of the day, things are better because of it. Unless the client who talks your ear off and keeps you up through the night also happens to own an amazing bakery, I’d give them a hard pass.” She gestured at the box of pastries still sitting on the counter.

“Here, let me get that for you.”

“Keep them,” she said when I went to hand the box over to her. “I’m all for a good sugar rush, but not after the night I’ve had. Jackson should be done with his cleaning session soon, so I’m going to go and crash. I’ll try and drop by again later.”

“If you do, I’ll be sure to have a warm meal waiting for you.”

“Sounds great. I’ll see you then.”

She didn’t say she’d talk to me then. She said she’d see me then. If I were actually asking her out on a date—

No. That wasn’t what this was. It was just two neighbors shooting the breeze and enjoying each other’s company after a long and taxing day.

Oblivious to my thoughts, Bree thanked me again for the talk, took a long swig of her coffee, then headed back out the way she came.

All the while, I couldn’t help thinking there was something else she wanted to say. Something she’d meant to say before but kept to herself.

Jackson, I realized. She was loyal to her brother to a fault. It’d costs her relationships in the past, though I honestly couldn’t see why. He might’ve been rough around the edges and a little timid at times, but he wasn’t that bad, was he?

Shaking my head if only to myself, I closed the front door, then grabbed one last pastry. I smiled as soon as the buttery crust melted on my tongue.

Today’s going to be a good day.