Chapter Seventeen
A few steps away from the road, I couldn’t help overhearing Jackson’s voice.
“You can’t keep going on like this.” The hard tone of Jackson’s voice grabbed my attention first, followed by his next words. “You’re protecting her all hours of the night, then we come out here and work. You barely sleep, and your so-called mate doesn’t even notice.”
I winced at that and resisted the urge to turn around. It wasn’t my place.
“Jackson,” Carley scolded her brother, keeping her voice as low as his own. “I’ve already told you it’s complicated.”
“Yeah, and when the other packs get word about this, do you think they’ll just sit next to you and listen? She’s a human, Bree, and you’re a wolf.”
“And we bleed the same,” Bree finished for him. “Right or wrong, I know this is right.”
“I’m sure it is, but the longer you wait, the—”
“Don’t,” Bree said, matching his hard tone with one of her own. “Just let it go. I know what happens if a bond remains open for too long.”
“You can’t lose your wolf.”
My heart dipped at that. Her wolf? What did he mean? Could Bree really lose her ability to shift if she or her mate (meaning me) didn’t take the bond? I’d been so preoccupied with dating at my pace that I hadn’t even thought to look beyond her kind words or reassurances.
And to learn she was still protecting me, likely in her pelt, every single night? Something had to give, starting with me.
Unable to take another step, I turned back toward them and took a deep breath. “Bree…” I hedged as I approached them again.
Jackson stopped mid-sentence, and when Bree whipped around to meet my gaze, her face paled.
“I heard everything,” I said, “but before you run off or tell me I heard wrong, I need to ask… how bad is it? What will my pace do to you and your wolf if we wait too long?”
Bree glared at her brother who visibly shrunk in front of her. “It will put us at odds,” she said when she looked at me again. “I fully understand your need to go slow, but my wolf does not. All she knows is that you smell like you belong to her,” she winced at that, “and that she doesn’t want anyone to take you away, including me. But the longer I try and hold her back—”
“The more she sees you as a threat,” I realized. “Then I guess you being up all hours of the night in your pelt is her doing and not your own.”
“Yes. She refuses to let me sleep most nights, and when I do, it’s in fits and starts. I can ask the Silverback for some herbs, but that would put an even larger wedge between us. I might not depend on my pelt as much as Jackson does, but I can’t lose her truth, either.”
“And I’d never ask you to,” I said as I reached for her hands, releasing a breath I hadn’t realized I’d been holding once she took mine in hers. “I don’t mean to intrude, and I don’t want to keep you from your meal, but I’d really like the three of us to talk some more about this.”
“The three of us?” Jackson asked as he looked around his sister at me.
“I’ve already invited you both over for dinner. It would be wrong of me not to include you just because we need to talk. Besides, you might have something to add, and as close as you two are, I’d like to hear your thoughts on the situation as well. But not now,” I said when he went to say something. “We’ll wait until we’re in a private place, then you can say anything you want.”
“Don’t tell him that,” Bree said with a nervous laugh, “otherwise, you’ll get an ear-full, most of it unkind.”
“He has a right to voice his concerns along with your wolf,” I said with a watery smile.
“And so do you,” Bree reminded me as she met my gaze. “I know you can’t possibly understand, but if you have concerns, you need to tell me.”
“I do,” I admitted, “but they’re mostly because I don’t understand. So, can we please talk about this later over dinner?”
Bree considered my question a moment, looked back at Jackson, then at me again. “Yes. I think it’s about time we told you everything.”
Bree and Jackson arrived shortly after seven o’clock, and as the meat warmed in the oven, the three of us sat down in the living room to talk. Bree and I took up most of the couch, a place Jackson refused to sit, especially once his anxiety got the better of him.
As Jackson paced in front of us, Bree spoke.
“We aren’t as connected to our wolves as we’d like,” her voice was lower now, her eyes focused on the ground. “I suppose you could say some of us are more intune with our wolves, Jackson being one of them. It all comes down to how accepting we are of our pelts and how much time we spend in them. The more time we spend as a wolf, the more we can essentially communicate with them.”
“So, Jackson using his pelt as a shield to outrun his anxiety has made the bond stronger?” I asked when Bree looked at me again.
“For lack of a better word, yes. There was a time when I shifted as often as he did, but when our parents died, I had to take over. That meant pushing back my wolf when I wanted to run in favor of looking after him.”
“You never let her out?” That sounded terrible. I didn’t blame her, of course, but such trying circumstances… “Surely your wolf understood.”
“She did,” Bree agreed, “but I didn’t give her enough space to grieve. I feel like she’s been holding it against me ever since. She was rather still, in fact, until you came along.”
“Still?”
“Asleep,” Jackson offered, filling in the blanks the best he could. “It’s one thing to deny your wolf the room to run and something else entirely to keep it from your bond.”
“I’m not keeping her from Carley,” Bree said, “I’m just—”
“Refusing to tell her the truth,” Jackson said before she could do the same.
Bree glanced at her brother, then with a deep sigh, she said, “He’s right. I haven’t been truthful. It’s just… I don’t want my wolf’s needs to dictate how fast we move. With anyone else, it wouldn’t be an issue. But because you’re human…” She released a long breath and shook her head. “It makes an already complicated situation even worse.”
I nodded gently, then took her hand in mine. “What if I run with her?” I have no idea how the thought popped into my head, but once I said the words, it felt right.
“Run?” Bree gave me a sideways glance as her brother paused in front of us.
“Wolves run with each other all the time, right?”
Bree looked to her brother, then back at me again. “We try to, yes.”
“And like wild wolves, that forms a bond of its own, right?”
“It does…”
“I realize I can’t run as fast as you and that we can’t communicate with each other when you’re in your pelt, but would it put her at ease if we tried?”
Bree gave my question some thought, then smiled. “It’s worth a try. We could even do it as a pack,” she said as she looked at her brother. “If that’s okay with you.” Her last words were directed at me.
“The more, the merrier.” Especially if it meant putting their wolves at ease. Anything to help the unseen distance between us.
“If we do this, there are some things you’ll have to go without,” Jackson warned.
“Like?”
“Shoes for a start,” Bree said as she glanced down at my feet, “and perfumes. Bare feet will connect you to the earth.”
“And the perfume?” I urged.
“It’ll cloud our senses and mask your scent. If you want our wolves to truly feel you running beside us, you cannot use it.”
“Shoes and perfume, got it. Anything else?” I asked, getting up from my place on the sofa when the timer went off.
Bree and Jackson looked between themselves, then shook their heads.
“Then let’s eat.”