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‘OK,’ said Mr Jenkins,‘I want you all to write a story, no more than a page, on what you did during the holidays.’

‘What if I don’t feel like it?’ said Anne Spinks.

‘I beg your pardon?’ said Mr Jenkins, more than a little surprised.

‘I don’t want to do your stupid story,’ said Anne.

Mr Jenkins couldn’t believe his ears. Anne Spinks was by no means the best-behaved student in class, but she had never been downright rude before.

‘What has got into you?’ asked Mr Jenkins.

‘I should be asking what has got into you,’ said Anne. ‘A monkey?’

‘Right, that’s enough!’ yelled Mr Jenkins. ‘Stand outside!’

‘No,’ said Anne.

‘What?’ thundered Mr Jenkins.

‘No,’ repeated Anne. ‘N-O, no!’

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Poor Mr Jenkins. He knew he couldn’t lay a hand on Anne. He wasn’t allowed. Much as he might have wanted to drag her into the corner for time-out, he knew there was no way. And to add to his problem, Anne knew it too.

She’d heard her parents talking about school the night before and how it must be so hard for teachers now that the strap isn’t allowed.

‘In fact,’ said her mum, ‘about the only thing poor teachers can do these days is expel kids. Kick them out.’

‘So they can be naughty all over again at some other school,’ grumbled her dad.

For some reason, Anne Spinks had been feeling bored lately. Terribly bored. But hearing her parents’ little chat gave her an idea. Suddenly, Anne Spinks didn’t feel bored at all.

‘All right, Anne,’ said Mr Jenkins. ‘There are two ways we can handle this. You can explain to me what’s going on, or you can sit there until lunchtime and wait for Mrs Noakes to speak to you.’

‘Principals don’t scare me,’ said Anne, rolling her eyes.

‘We’ll see about that,’ said Mr Jenkins, ‘because the next step, young lady, is a call to your parents.’

‘Don’t let me keep you,’ said Anne. ‘There’s a phone in the staff room.’

The other kids didn’t know what to think.

‘This is awesome,’ said Paul Ngu.

‘You’re an idiot,’ said Jessica Wright. ‘Mr Jenkins is the best teacher we’ve ever had and you’re just behaving like a jerk.’

‘I’m bored,’ said Anne.

‘Not bored,’ said Tessa James. ‘Boring.’

The principal did speak to Anne and so did her parents. But it didn’t do any good.

‘I want a change,’ said Anne.

‘Is it the schoolwork?’ asked her parents. ‘Is it too easy?’

‘Maybe,’ said Anne with a shrug. ‘I just need something different.’

Between you and me, what Anne really needed was a good smack on the bum. Although I shouldn’t be saying that anymore, should I? Let’s just say that Anne was far too spoilt.

So, the next day, Anne was at it again. She sneaked into the principal’s office, grabbed the microphone and said over the loudspeaker:

‘Mr Jenkins drinks and smokes,
And does loud burps with
other blokes.’

Next she poured Clag all over Tessa James’s lunch, and finally she wrote something very rude on the blackboard. I can’t tell you what it was, but Mr Jenkins wasn’t very happy. Not at all.

But there was really nothing he could do. Time went on and Anne became worse. She even went crazy in the school vegetable patch. Chadstone Central Primary School had one of those fantastic programs where kids are allowed to grow fruit and vegetables in the school grounds and then make yummy meals in class. It used to be one of Anne’s favourite things to do. But not anymore.

She squashed all the tomatoes in her fingers, kicked the pumpkins (it hurt a bit but she pretended she didn’t feel a thing), snapped all the beans in half, stomped on the strawberries and smashed the blueberries with a garden stake.

‘Look,’ she said. ‘Instant fruit salad.’

Her parents tried their best to calm her down, and Anne knew they were probably right when they said that the best way to beat boredom is to find a new hobby or sport or read a book. But Anne didn’t want to find a ‘grown-up’ answer to her problems. Not just then, anyway. It was as if she’d gone so far down the bad track that to turn back now would make her look foolish.

Finally, Mrs Noakes said, ‘Anne, unless your behaviour improves we’ll have no choice but to expel you.You’ll have to leave here and go to another school. Do you understand?’

‘Understand?’ said Anne. ‘The sooner the better.’

It was only a short time later that Anne was gone. On her last day, Mrs Noakes tried one last time to talk to her.

‘This might seem like a funny thing to say,’ said Mrs Noakes, ‘but you do realise, I hope, that once you leave here you can never come back?’

‘Bonus,’ said Anne, crossing her arms.

A year went by and in that time Anne started and quickly finished at three different schools. All of them boring. And all the time, although she would never admit to it, those words went around in her head. ‘Never come back.’

For some strange reason – maybe because she knew it could never happen – going back to her old school, Chadstone Central, became something she wanted more than anything else in the world.

Over and over again she remembered the time she scored the winning goal against Solway and how they sang all the way home on the bus. The time she cuddled the little kindy kid when she found her crying on her first day. And the time that terribly shy but really nice Richard Hewson asked if he could walk home with her.

She hadn’t seen Richard since she left Chadstone Central. I wonder what he’s doing now? thought Anne.

Anne even found herself walking home past Chadstone Central, just to have a look at the old place. And she found herself realising that there was nothing wrong with Chadstone Central. Or any other school for that matter. Just something wrong with her.

Late one afternoon, Mrs Noakes was packing her bags to go home when there was a knock at the door.

It was Anne.

‘Sorry to bother you,’ said Anne, ‘but there’s something I just have to ask. Please. If that’s okay, I mean?’

‘Go on,’ said Mrs Noakes.

‘You know how you said I could never come back,’ said Anne. ‘Did you really mean it?’

‘Yes, I did,’ said Mrs Noakes. ‘But I can tell the Anne Spinks I spoke to then isn’t the same girl I see standing before me now. This one is more than welcome.’

You would never have guessed twelve months ago that Anne Spinks would end up crying and hugging the school principal. And that Mrs Noakes would have a tear in her eye as well.