40

Graves wasn’t the only one counting days and checking in. I finally looked up online how long you could go without a period and not be preggers. Ten days.

Today was the tenth day.

I called Destiny. She knew it was important because I was calling, not texting.

“I haven’t gotten my period yet,” I told her.

She knew what that meant. “Are you late?”

“A little....”

She thought about it. “You been under a lot of stress. That can fuck with your insides.”

I didn’t say anything.

“If you’re worried, we can find out. If you want to.”

I swallowed hard. I had pushed this out of my head long enough. But now it came roaring back in.

She was not one to bullshit me. “Come on, no use adding extra worry to that head of yours. The last thing you need is to be Kalvin’s Baby Mama.”

She took me to a drugstore where we headed for the home-pregnancy-test section. She scanned the selection and picked one in a blue box.

“You seem to know what to look for,” I said.

She gave me a glance that said it wasn’t her first time in this aisle.

“Come on.” She led me back to the bathrooms.

“Aren’t we gonna pay for it?” I asked.

“You don’t think you been paying for this yet?”

She came in with me and locked the door.

“How come we always end up in the bathroom together?” I asked.

“’Cause you always fucking up,” she answered without thinking. She tore open the box and pulled out a plastic thermometer-looking thing and held it up to the light. “I didn’t mean that....”

I took it from her. “I know.” I looked at the “thermometer.” Two options: pregnant and not pregnant.

“You gotta know,” she said, seeing my hesitation. “You don’t wanna be carrying around his seed in you.”

“Nice way of putting it.”

“Just—”

“I’m gonna do it,” I said. “Fuck . . .” I stuck the thing in my mouth.

She just looked at me like a child and pulled it out of my mouth. “You pee on it, idiot.” She handed it back to me.

I knew that.

I waited for her to leave, but she stayed put. “You just gonna stand there?”

She sighed and turned around. “You ain’t got anything I don’t.”

I sat and waited for the pee to come. “What if—”

“There is no what if. There’s only what is. But either way, there’s options.”

I closed my eyes and tried to relax. I thought back to that night on the roof. It felt like forever ago, but everything changed in three weeks. I remember staring up at the moon with him. This was not where I expected to be.

Destiny stood there waiting for that plastic thing to reveal the truth. I saw her eyes straining for the answer.

“Well?” I asked.

“Hold on . . . it’s coming.”

I couldn’t take it. “Tell me!”

Her face was all tense and then . . . she dropped it and took two steps toward me and wrapped her arms around me tight.

I looked down at the thing on the ground.

Not pregnant.

The next day, I got my period.