46
Kalvin’s second text said he wanted to meet her at the library. He knew how to push her buttons. The Watchers had to be on the lookout for him, but the weather was shitty and the library closed for the holiday, so the streets were pretty empty.
None of the other Tokers were in sight, not even Prince. No Watchers either. Just a guy walking his dog. Someone riding his bike. Then she spotted somebody with a hoodie covering his head, pacing in front of the library. She zoomed in. Kalvin.
When he saw her, he ducked into the alley behind the library. Erica put her hand on the bulge in her pocket. She looked jumpy, glancing around and checking over her shoulder.
It was Boner who snuck up on her and licked her foot. She leaned down and petted him. He looked scared and just sat there whimpering.
“When all this is done, you should think about moving in with me instead,” she said. She made her way into the alley, Boner on her heels. She saw Kalvin standing in the spot where Mrs. Lee had died. He was hovering near a small memorial on the fence, surrounded by sad little flowers, candles and cards, all soggy from the snow. When she moved in closer, she saw him staring at a photo of Mrs. Lee and her husband.
“You know, it might surprise you, but I do feel bad about that woman,” he said. “She didn’t deserve what happened. She just . . . got in the way.”
“She didn’t deserve to die, you mean,” Erica said. She zoomed in tight on his face. He smiled slightly at the sight of her camera.
“She was a willing player. You saw her, at Joe Lee’s side. She was no different from him.”
“He thought she was better than him.”
Kalvin grunted. “That’s not saying much. If he’d a kept his mouth shut, she’d be alive today. People make choices.”
“So it’s his fault?”
He leaned down and picked up a candle that had fallen over. “It doesn’t matter. Sometimes a shake-up is good. I’ll bet he’s appreciating life a lot more now.”
“No. He doesn’t.”
He studied her. “And how do you know?”
“I talked to him.”
He scoffed. “I suppose you apologized too. Maybe begged for forgiveness?”
“No. I was a coward. Just like you.”
He stood up, his hands balled up into fists.
She didn’t flinch. She could see he was breathing hard in the cold—his face pale, his eyes dull, less threatening.
“You have a free pass, you know?” she said.
He shrugged. “What, you mean retire? Just walk away from TKO while I got my freedom?”
“Something like that, yeah. Don’t you think it’s time to grow up?”
“Oh,” he said, considering the idea. “Is that what you are now, grown up? Did all your crazy shit and now you’re ready to become a responsible citizen?”
She let the camera stay on him without answering.
“You wanna play games, is that it, Erica? Outthink me, get me to confess to my sins? Turn that shit off,” he said, pointing to her camera.
That was the first time she ever heard him say something like that. She pretended to turn it off, but kept it running in her hand.
“So why don’t you stop, Kalvin? Haven’t you had enough of all this? Haven’t you knocked enough people out?” she asked.
He didn’t answer. It was deathly quiet, only the sound of the snow falling gently on the ground. Pat. Pat. Pat.
“You know, I’ve had Prince do a little surveillance work of his own. Turns out our friend Joe is a man of habit.”
“So?” she said.
“He likes to come here every day at 11:30, the moment they were gamed. To visit the site where his wife died like that? That’s real loyalty. I can respect that.”
“Are you saying I’m not loyal?”
He stared her down. “What do you think?”
“I think you can’t stop because you think you have some kind of rep you need to uphold. And that rep is only held together by the loyalty of your crew and you’re worried that what I did created, like, a ‘disturbance in the force.’ And now you have to show you can control me by making me do something I don’t want to. Is that about right?”
He wasn’t amused. “Really? A Star Wars reference? Well, doctor, the rest of your theory is bullshit. We play the game because we can, and there’s nothing they can do to stop us. We’ll keep knocking out people and if someone tries to stop us, they might end up like poor Mrs. Lee. Like I said before, we meant to take out her husband, but hey, shit happens. Which is part of the reason we’re here now.”
She glanced at her watch. 11:30.
And that’s when she had a moment of clarity, of what this was all about. He didn’t want her to knock out just anybody; he wanted somebody special—
“Right on time,” he said, glancing over her shoulder.
Down about a block away was Joe Lee. Wrapped up in an Army jacket and limping his way into the alley. He was carrying flowers.
“It’s touching. I mean, it really is, that you of all people will be the one to take care of business on this very spot. It’s almost what they call ironic.”
She glared at him. “Leave him alone.”
“Oh, I’ll leave him alone. You’re the one who’s gonna take him out. I got him started, but you can finish him. He’s barely on two legs—”
“What happened to you?”
He ignored her. “He’s getting closer. He hasn’t recognized us yet. Probably lost in thought—”
“Jesus, Kalvin . . .”
His eyes searched hers. “You don’t want to find out what’ll happen if you back out.”
She looked back. Joe was getting closer, but was still out of hearing range. He hadn’t seen them yet.
“I said, leave him the fuck alone.”
“Or what?”
He noticed her fists balled up and the look in her eye that said enough.
He raised an eyebrow. “Oh, now’s she’s ready! You’d like to smack me, is that it? You’d like the chance to knock my face in?”
“The difference is, you’d deserve it.”
“Well, come on then. Take your best shot. Now’s your chance. I won’t even protect myself.”
He put his hands behind his back and just stood there. “Come on, Fish, do it.” It sounded like he wanted her to. Boner began yapping, running back and forth between them.
She raised her fist.
“There you go! See? You are like me, Erica. Don’t you get it? You were so hopeless and defeated when I first met you and now, you got spirit, you got rage, and you want to let it all out. You’re just like me, Erica!”
Erica slowly breathed out and lowered her fist. “I’m nothing like you. I don’t know what happened to you, but I will never be like you. There’s something broken in you, Kalvin.” She opened her hands and shook them out. “And fuck you if you think I’d ever stoop to hitting that man. He has suffered enough, but to you, he’s still a joke, a thing to be played with. Well, I’m done with this game. And so are you.”
She glanced over her shoulder. Joe was about ten yards away, watching them. He recognized her. She looked Kalvin in the eye. “Now just walk away, before it’s too late.” She stuck her hand in her pocket. There was an audible click.
He rolled his eyes. “It’s never too late.” He took a step toward her.
She took a deliberate step to put herself between him and Joe. When Kalvin smirked, she pulled out her gun and pointed it at his face.
He froze, his eyes wide with surprise. Then he kind of laughed. “Damn, girl. Is that thing for real?”
“As real as it gets.”
“Have you ever shot a gun before?” he asked. His voice wavered.
Erica swallowed. “Don’t have to be a sniper to hit something from this range.”
He took a step back, admiring her. “Look at you. You’re one tough motherfucker. And I mean that in the best way. I’m impressed.”
“I don’t give a shit. Start walking.”
Now he was getting pissed. “You really think you’re gonna shoot me, right here? On the very spot where that woman died, the one you helped kill?” He said it loud enough for Joe to hear.
She cocked the gun. “I didn’t kill her. But I think the police would say I was acting in self-defense if I shot you. They might even find it fitting that it happened right here.”
He seemed unsettled for the first time.
When she heard the footsteps coming up fast behind her, she spun around—Joe rushed toward her, holding out his hands.
“Don’t do it!” he shouted. “Don’t! Please! It’s not worth it!”
She froze, distracted. She felt a pop in her head and everything went white and blurry. All she heard was the ringing in her ears as the ground came rushing up to her face.