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She needed a moment alone, River was so potent. She’d cared for him, probably loved him, for years. She missed him so much. He was the major part of the shiny new future, she’d been so excited about and lost.
Now River was back in her world. He wasn’t traumatized, or worse, creepy, like she’d worried about. Clan vampires were clearly different than the rogues who’d attacked them so savagely. Intellectually she knew that, she learned it in training.
She couldn’t get used to how gorgeous he was. She’d found him attractive as a human, once she’d looked at him with mature eyes, but now he was physically perfect, and those deep sapphire eyes fascinated her. All night she’d felt like he was a magnet, physically drawing her close so they could touch. The few times their bodies had brushed against each other her breath had hitched in her throat, nerve endings zapping delight through her whole body, putting her in a high alert state. In the hot tub she’d wanted to slide over next to him and sit close enough to feel his bare flesh against her own. Feel the slight roughness of the hair on his calves, the hardness of his muscled arms.
And he wanted her. Things could happen, the things she’d dreamed about. Did she want that, now? Would it be even a little bit smart to get involved with a vampire? The sex would be different. Vampires bit during sex. Could she handle that?
But she knew from training that humans and vampires did marry. The biting was not painfully traumatic, and sometimes the close association with a vampire changed the human woman into a daywalker, a human with vampire characteristics.
Darci returned with the lights and they strung them along the balcony ledge in near silence. Both of them kept glancing at the baby, who was sleeping peacefully, her gills flapping with regularity. Darci made herself breath deep, slow breaths.
When they were done, she tossed her robe to a patio chair and slipped into the water, pulling the baby near her. Her skin was pink from the warmth, her lips made a sucking motion on her thumb as she slept, long lashes making gold crescents on her rosy cheeks.
“It’s hard to believe anyone would throw something so precious away.”
River leaned against the hot tub next to her and touched the baby, too, his large hand nearly the same length as the tiny baby. “People, even Others, don’t think wisely when they are afraid.”
“I thought perhaps being transformed would change you, deep inside,” Darci said.
He looked deep into her eyes. “The transformation...it is overwhelming. That first year, sometimes I wasn’t myself. It was a good thing I was in a clan, or I would have been a danger to you. To anyone. But as time went by I became more and more myself.”
“Do you ever,” she cleared her throat. “Do you ever want to hunt people? When you are hungry?”
“I stay rational. Or else I’d still be kept in the Clan Compound up north.”
“When they took you away, it was like you died. Only worse, like you’d changed into a monster. Then I was told that you could contact me in a couple years. I wasn’t sure if I wanted you to, but at the same time I missed you so much. But when you emailed me, I was afraid it was a trick, that my friend was really a monster, trying to deceive me...”
“Candi emailed me. After the first few months I had computer access. I emailed her now and then and finally got clearance to give her the information packet from the clan.”
She trailed her fingers in the water, which reflected the twinkling lights. “Funny, that night, with our first real date...It was like I had the future settled. We would have a short engagement, get settled. Start a family.” She looked down at the baby wondering if she’d revealed too much.
River took her hand. “I hoped for the same. But I wasn’t as optimistic about a future, though I wanted it so much”
“Why weren’t you optimistic?”
He shrugged.“My health. My asthma was more severe than I let you or others know. I spent most evenings tied to a nebulizer and rarely went anywhere except work. Plus several days a week I worked at home.”
“Oh. I knew you had asthma, but I thought it was better than back in high school.”
He shook his head. “It was getting worse. Doctors were running tests to see what was triggering it. Some environmental factor, they thought.”
“Now you don’t have it.”
“I stopped having it immediately after the transformation. They flew me up to the Northern compound, in northern Montana near the Canadian border. Remote wilderness, hundreds of acres of streams, small lakes, woods. Me and the other two wristlings were allowed to spend a great deal of time outdoors. By the end of three months I’d gained fifty pounds of muscle and could hike and run for miles.” His perfectly carved lips curved into a wry half smile. “Doctors had told me that I needed to accept reduced activity levels and that I was at risk of a fatal event just weeks before our date.”
“I remember you were in the ER just a couple of weeks before our date. But you were back at work right away.”
“I didn’t want to be sick. So those first months... they were a revelation. A gift. I’d never been athletic, could never really enjoy exerting myself, running. That all changed. I ran, climbed mountains, swam in ice cold lakes. It was exhilarating. The only thing that wasn’t fabulous about the transformation was the loss of you.” He slid into the hot tub next to her. Darci could feel his hard arm against her own. She leaned against him and it was like a puzzle coming together. Everything fit.
“Tonight, in the alley, when you pulled the baby out of the Dumpster and stood there, looking at her? I saw you so clearly.”
Darci turned her head and looked right at him.
“Did you?” His eyes searched her face, but he sat with his hands at his side.
“Yes. You had changed, physically. Leaping onto the edge of that dumpster—that wasn’t human. It was kind of startling. But then you jumped down and your face was...soft. Gentle. You teased me like we were kids again. And I was struck with the knowledge. You are still River. Still my friend.”
She reached up and held his face in her hands. Her green eyes met his brilliant blue ones. “You moved in a way the old River never could. A human never could. But the way you acted, it was still you, my River. The River I knew and loved for years. You're the one, River. I love you. You're in my heart so deep you've become...family. My lover if that is what you want.”
She crushed her lips to his and tears, hers and his, mingled.
River's arms snapped around her. She could feel his his fangs against her mouth. He buried his face against her neck. “Sorry. Little overwhelmed. Seeing you, holding you. Hearing you. Never thought we'd even see each other again. You were so scared when I contacted you that once, after I’d transformed. Later Candi started emailing me and I thought I could stay in touch with you through Candi, a little. That would be the most we could have since my change was irreversible. But you're here in my arms and talking like you plan to stay.”