Chapter Six

 

 

 

Maia opted to stay outside a little longer to enjoy the cool air, the view and the solitude—to mull over the new information.

Guillaume left her with a few thoughts. None of them were about helping Alex heal. Most of them included escape or hiding until her job was done. And staying away from him. The farther she kept from Alex, the better for her sanity. What frightened her most was the attraction she still felt for him. It wasn’t logical. He’d hurt her so badly and yet her hormones still ran amuck whenever she got near him.

“Maia.” Tomas approached her cautiously, as if he was afraid she was going to turn and run like a frightened rabbit.

Not that she could blame him.

“Hi.” She looked back out over the ocean before turning back to him again. Tomas was gorgeous. Sweet. Caring. Kind. Definitely a man for whom she could imagine letting her guard down. And if she had stayed with him, she probably could have, eventually. But after seeing Alex again, Tomas’ presence, no matter how dazzling, was eclipsed. She put a hand on his and took a deep breath. “I’m sorry about what I did to you. To us.”

He enclosed her hand between his. “I know, Maia. I can’t say I wasn’t angry. And disappointed. I thought what we had was worth working for. Fighting for. When you took off the way you did, I went a little crazy. I tried to find you. And when I couldn’t…” He took her hand and pressed it to his chest. “I realized that if you wanted me, you would come back.”

And that was the moment she realized that what she had done to Tomas was what she thought Alex had done to her. It made her heart shrivel to think that she had done it deliberately. She might not have been thinking straight and had been only following her instincts, but she had still abandoned a man who so had obviously cared for her. Alex had had an excuse. What did she have? A messed-up head? It brought anguished tears to her eyes that she had hurt him the way she had.

“You don’t have to say anything. I can see that you and Alex are together. I want you to be happy and if it’s with him then I’m okay with that.”

Maia’s heart clenched. He had things so wrong in that regard, but she didn’t correct him. “Tomas… I’m so sorry.” That at least was the truth. “I was a coward. And I never should have run out on you like that. I hate that I hurt you. I should have called or texted or…something.”

He wiped away her tears with his thumb. “Hey, now. Whatever will be, will be.”

It was his philosophy and was one of the reasons she got along so well with him. It was also what frightened her. Things with him were comfortable. Easy. He just wasn’t what she wanted. Who she wanted. She didn’t think she could want anyone ever again. At least, not the forever kind.

“Now that I know you are well, I’m fine.” His smile was a little sad as he let his hand drop. “Think of me from time to time, liebling.”

Maia nodded. How could she forget about someone so sweet?

He left her then, and for a long time, all she heard were the muted sounds of conversation in the background while the breeze whispered around her.

She had known for years that she was damaged. After Alex had disappeared, she’d found it hard to trust anyone. There’d only been a few attempts at a relationship over the years and they’d all failed because she wouldn’t let her walls down. The last was with Tomas. It hadn’t been easy to walk away from him. He’d been the closest she’d come to truly opening up to anyone in a very long time.

Only she hadn’t been able to. And she’d hurt a good man.

Disgusted with herself, she gripped the balustrade and stared into the distance. The realization of her own sickening actions had to come after she found out that everything she believed about Alex’s abandonment of her was wrong. That he wasn’t to blame.

He didn’t remember her. Or anything they had. Or shared. And she was left with nothing but bitter memories.

It was a cruel trick of fate.

It was sad. And it left her a seething mess of confused emotions.

The tears built and she gritted her teeth against them. She wasn’t going to cry. She wasn’t going to break down.

She felt his presence before she heard him.

“Maia? Are you okay?”

Not really. She nodded. “I’m fine.”

Alex spun her around and gently cupped her cheek. “You don’t look fine.”

His touch triggered her impulse to run. Blood roared in her ears. She tried to back away but was trapped against the railing. “Alex. Please. Just leave me alone.”

“I can’t.” He tipped her chin up so she had no choice but to look up into his eyes. “You’ve done your damnedest to push me away, but for some reason I just can’t get you out of my head. I’m not going to let you drive me away, especially not when you’re upset.”

Alex’s gaze was hypnotic, heated, as he peered into her eyes. “When you threw that drink at me at the restaurant, I thought you were insane. When you told me that we had been together in the past, I thought you were lying.” Alex touched her cheek with his fingertips. “But I haven’t been able to stop thinking about you.” His touch made her skin tingle, just like it always had. Maia was on the verge of turning her face into his palm, but forced herself to twist out of his grasp. To put some space between them.

“Well, you should. Just forget about me.”

He stepped closer, but didn’t touch her this time. “I can’t. I won’t. There’s something about you that I can’t ignore.”

What could she say to that? It was what she’d thought she wanted all those years ago, but now? She was too messed up to even contemplate another relationship, let alone one with Alex.

“Don’t say anything. I’m not going to push you. I just want the chance to get to know you.”

“Why? I attacked you. I’m obviously unable to maintain a lasting relationship. I’m sure you’ve heard that by now.” It just didn’t make sense for him to be interested in her. Especially when he could have any woman he wanted.

“Like I said, there’s something about you.” He dropped his head to lightly brush her lips with his. “Something I want.”

It was a ghost of a kiss, but Maia’s body reacted as if her blood had been ignited. He brushed his mouth over hers gently before darting his tongue out to taste her lips. The instant he did, she gasped at the intense sensation from the glancing contact.

Alex took quick advantage and deepened the kiss, angling her back so he could devour her.

Maia clung to his shoulders as their tongues dueled. Instinctively, she pressed against his hard chest, reveling in the strength she found there. His arms held her firmly against him, refusing any space between them.

A long-forgotten sensation took hold. Heat blasted through her body from every point he touched to pool low in her pelvis in a liquid ache. She wanted him with a ferocity that shook her from head to toe.

It was as exhilarating as it was terrifying.

Trembling she shuffled back. Licking her lips, getting that one last taste of him, she fought to get her breathing back under control. “Alex… I don’t know if this is such a good idea.”

It would be too easy to let him do what he liked. But if she did, then it would leave her wide open to getting hurt once more. And if things went wrong with them yet again, would she be able to put herself back together?

He closed his hands over hers and grazed her lips, her chin then her earlobe with his lips to whisper, “Trust me.”

That was the problem. She had before and it had nearly destroyed her.