Chapter 16

 

Matthias kept Ava in his vision while he walked and talked, ignoring the fact he was greedily drinking in the sight of her, hair in a high ponytail, strong and fit in her work-out clothes. Her flat stomach shifted uneasily. Was she holding her breath? Her fresh scent infused the air with vanilla and warmth. He resolutely pushed any attraction from his mind. He didn’t even know for sure what he was doing there—it was like worrying a sore over and over.

“The Argentine Tango—” He paused for effect. “—is a result of the diversity of dance and music generated by the influx of immigrants into Argentina. The Tango evolved where freed and working slaves came together to dance. There is passion.”

He clicked his heels together, a sound which broke the tense silence simmering between the two of them. “There is loss.” He bowed mockingly. “A key element to the Tango is the yearning of men who shipped to Argentina for their women left at home. Desperate longing and sexual innuendo combined to make the dance a fiercely passionate and truthful one.”

He halted in front of her and saw her flinch at his words. Stray curls escaped the ponytail which she blew from her face. Her jaw tightened and she raised her head, azure eyes beseeching. For what? Understanding?

Ava glanced away but not before resignation filled her face. “We need to talk, figure out what to do.” Her voice was low but she bit the words out.

“Certainly we do. But not now. For now, we dance.”

Her shoulders straightened and she tapped her foot impatiently. “Fine.”

He continued with the history of the dance, aware he made it sound like a diatribe against her. Dammit, this was his dance, the one his body yearned to perform with her. “In modern times, the tango epitomizes the glamour and elegance of society, but never forget it originated in the underbelly. Think you can handle it?”

He raised a brow, imbuing his words with scathing edge. All the better to ignore the desire that rose along with the glow which started below her opal and moved toward her neck. Deep breathing caused her breasts to strain against the Lycra. With what appeared like contrived casualness, she draped an arm against her waist, striving for a nonchalance she obviously didn’t feel.

“I think you should start this dance encircling, but keeping a wary eye on each other.” He strutted sharply, gesturing for her to do the same and carried on talking. “There is no set routine to the tango, rather it is a spontaneous dance, guided by the lead. However, there are moves you must learn in order to follow where the lead goes. There is little touching, rather a leaning toward each other, from the chests. Occasionally the dancers’ chests may touch, but more often foreheads will.”

He stepped closer and held his arms out in a mute invitation. After an initial hesitation, her head came up and she stepped into his circle. Heat filled his body. Her right hand slipped coolly onto his, while her left lay gently on his shoulder. He swallowed, throat dry. For though he was angry with her, this dance was sublimely beautiful and he wanted to dance it with her. He shoved the thought away with a ruthless edge, easy enough to summon.

* * * *

Ava was lost in the sensuous movement of his body, his words dissipating into a low, meaningless rumble. Her head spun, and not just with the effect of watching him. Weak and tired from lack of sleep, she had to plumb the very depths of her reserves to withstand the constant attack of stronger emotions coursing through her.

Run, a little voice whispered, run like the wind.

Alas, she couldn’t. Better to stay and see this through than to spend the rest of her life running. For she had no doubt that he would track her down.

“Get some DVDs out and watch them for the tango scene. Rudolph Valentino in The Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse dances the tango very well. Watch it.”

Luca rushed through the door, slightly pink as if from exertion. Matthias’s eyes skittered to him, but all too soon returned to hers, just in time to catch the love me plea she was sure they contained. With a wrench, she glanced aside, tempted to embrace the vulnerability threatening to bring her to her knees in front of him. What would happen if she did? As though reading her mind, Matthias released her, but not before she heard a near soundless growl from him. A flicker of hope sparked. Did he find this hard too? Even at the thought, a barrier rose and he stiffened his spine, lost to her again.

“Luca, I need to speak to you regarding the choreography. Ava is good enough to be spontaneous and follow where you lead once she learns the basics. But I want it made clear to everyone watching that you are in charge. You are saying “no” while Ava tries everything in her power to win you over. You should be under attack from her. There should be at least three lifts, preferably with Ava throwing herself at you. You accept her, lose yourself a few times, but ultimately, I want you standing back with Ava at your feet, arms around your knees in a bid to hold you.”

Luca hung on every word, intense concentration warring with unadulterated admiration. Matthias swung to her, gauntlet firmly thrown down. “If you can manage to tell that story, I have no doubt you will win this competition.” He gave a mock bow, nodded to Luca and strode toward the door. There, he paused for a fraction of a second before his shoulders straightened and he swung the door open.

As the man she loved left, Ava took a trembling breath so deep it strained her lungs. Sadness spread from her heart, reaching out to her entire body. She slumped against the mirrors, sliding to the floor. How could she go on today when all she wanted was to go home, get Bella and hide under the duvet? Not an option.

But she could talk to Matthias, see if everything couldn’t be put right. Leaping to her feet, Ava hurried after Mathias in time to catch sight of his back. He was heading to the roof so she strengthened her resolve and followed. Slowly, she stepped to his side where he graced her with a slight sideways glance. Quiet determination stole through her, both at the rightness of being by his side, and her body’s desire to recalibrate itself with his. The constant movement of people on the street below attracted her eyes.

Wait, he must speak first.

“Ava.” Matthias spoke the words as pigeons flew past. “Would you like to move to Argentina?” Bitterness filled his words like vinegar would in sweet tea.

Tears threatened to overwhelm her. He was asking for her to say no. A breath juddered through her. She hung her head. “Is that what you want? Me and Bella to move with you?” She had voiced it now, there was no going back. He moved closer to her and raised her chin with one finger. “I would like Bella to grow up in Argentina. Surely you can see she would have a better childhood in the outdoors then here in this…this concrete jungle. If you feel you have to be with her, then fine. Come with us. I can set you up in a couple of rooms in the hostel. Bella will spend most of her days on the ranch anyway, learning to ride.”

His words were killing her with a slow painful squeeze of her heart. He was right. But at least he wasn’t talking about taking Bella away from her. That was something. Still, a knife sharpened itself on her heart, stealing words and strength from her. After an interminable length of time, he turned and strode to the door, resentment seething from every movement.

Ava sank against the low wall.

It was over. Now it was payback time in the grand form of despair. He didn’t love her, never had. Her life streamed long and empty in front of her.

Not only had she not gotten the man of her dreams, the very same man was going to take away the other big love of her life.

* * * *

The days rattled by, each one bringing their own clamor to Matthias’ mind. Full of righteous indignation at Ava, the clarity of that emotion soon departed him in the face of an ever changing mind.

One day he would allow himself to believe she had come back—how else could she have known about the photograph in the paper?—the next he was sure she had lied. Why would she have done that? Something small within him yearned to know that she had come back, to know he could trust her words.

He snorted. Impossible. Far easier to believe the worst of her, build his strong armor back around his heart, and from now on accept his claim that he didn’t need love. For he remembered too well the conversation with Ava, and that he hadn’t want children in his life. He hadn’t believed himself then, but thought he could make it true.

Twice he had forced himself to watch her dance the tango routine with Luca and it had been hard to see her perform the dance without him. But he had done it, not allowing himself the luxury of imaging himself in Luca’s place.

His daughter called out in his dreams but he held back from arranging another meeting. That would involve engaging with Ava and he wanted to nurse his beliefs until they were rock steady defenses against her very being. Unsure whether she was aware of it or reacted in the same way, he knew damn well his body stirred in ways it never had just standing beside her. As he had listened to her speak, heard the pleading in her voice, he had to force his heart to turn to ice. To ignore her and to believe what he wanted. Easier, less messy in the long term.

* * * *

The low buzz of excitement about the finale permeated the studios and built with every day that passed.

It left Ava cold, knowing that on Sunday reality would come knocking. But she learned her steps assiduously, refusing to acknowledge a deeply buried hope that if she performed well on Saturday night, Matthias’s heart would melt. How many times now had he heaped salt on her hope? Why was she setting herself up again?

The night before the final, Ava arrived home to put Bella to bed and asked her mum to stay on for a glass of wine. Her mum nodded and poured the cold Faustino into a glass, handed it over, then leaned into the comfortable sofa.

“Right, spill.” The expression on her mother’s face broached no arguments so Ava told her everything that happened in the last week.

“And he didn’t believe you?” Her mum’s voice was loaded with love for her.

“No. He didn’t even pause to consider it.” Ava twiddled her glass stem between her fingers, sighing heavily.

Her mother leaned toward her, a gleam in her eyes. “That photograph of his engagement from the paper, I don’t suppose you still have it?”

Ava paused, thinking hard. Optimism blossomed in her chest. Of course, how could she have been so silly? She had torn the page out and stuffed it in her bag. An image to keep of his beautiful face, but because it was an engagement photo, also a deterrent to her love. Jumping to her feet, she raced into her bedroom. She put her fingers to her forehead. Think, dammit, think. Under the bed? Dropping to her knees, she pulled a dusty box from under the bed, a box full of her travelling mementoes. Photo after photo was cast aside, along with her much worn round-the-world plane ticket. Ah, there it was. In the corner, under her sarong, the newspaper image of him and Beatriz was crumpled.

She took it out and carefully smoothed it with a little kiss.

“Mum, you are a genius.” She called out as she came through to the living room.

Her mum held her glass out. “Glad to be of help.”

Ava subsided into her armchair, gazing at Matthias. “Will it work? I don’t know. Still, it’s worth a go.” She smiled.

“Good to see you smiling again, darling. Now, since you’re in a good mood, I have an idea to run past you.”

“Mmm?” Ava couldn’t take her eyes from the photograph. It wasn’t much but at least it would prove she wanted to tell him about the baby.

“Your dad and I would like to come to the finals tomorrow night. I know you’ve been offered front row tickets.”

“Sure. I’d like you to be there. It is the final and you know the score with Matthias and me so no problem.” It would be lovely to have the support of her parents to help against the onslaught of nerves, both for dancing and seeing Matthias again.

“One other thing.” Her mum paused until Ava met her expression. “We’d like to bring Bella.”

Ava frowned. Bella, in the front row while she danced before Matthias? She couldn’t do it. Or could she? It wouldn’t make any difference to the situation she was in right now, and it wasn’t as if it could make things worse. What the hell.

“Okay. Please make sure she has a long sleep in the afternoon. That way she won’t be tired.” It would be lovely to have Bella there, to know her daughter was watching and hopefully would remember the magic of her mother dancing. A nice memory for her to have in light of things to come.

Her mother leaned over and kissed her on the cheek. “Great, and Ava, darling?” Her voice rose on the question, and at Ava’s nod she continued. “It will come out right, wait and see.”