I WAS NERVOUS, but my giddiness was defeating the butterflies. I had a job!
It wasn’t glamorous, exciting, or paid, but it was mine. Earned by merit, education, and perhaps a wee bit of nepotism since I was best friends with the boss, but it felt good.
I floated home like I was starring in my own Disney movie. I held doors for strangers, bought a sandwich for a homeless man on the corner—who turned out not to be homeless but a hipster—and sang my way to Daisy’s.
My home for the foreseeable future.
I needed to Skype my parents to tell them I was staying longer than I thought . . .
After two quick rings, my father’s forehead greeted me.
“Dad move the laptop a bit,” I instructed.
As he adjusted it, he said, “I miss the days when you just called someone on the phone; none of these bells and whistles.”
My mother came in behind him, waving daintily at the screen. “Avery, how good to see you! You look outstanding,” she cheered, sitting gracefully on the arm of his leather desk chair. “Italy suits you.”
Dad nodded in agreement.
They both looked happy. He beamed when she rested her hand on his shoulder. She blushed when he lifted her hand to kiss it.
I thought this virtual catchup would be strained, awkward between us. At least it felt that way, given the nature of their emails since I’d arrived. Tone could be hard to decipher, especially when your mother was using absolutely zero punctuation.
“So tell me.” Mom was fiddling with her diamond anniversary watch, something she did when she was anxious. “How is everything going?”
Dad chimed in, “Have you been sightseeing? Are you being safe? Is Daisy keeping an eye on you? I’d hate to have to speak with her father,” he teased.
“Everything is fine, Mr. Bardot!” Daisy chirped from the kitchen. “Did you tell them yet?” she asked, squeezing into the laptop’s frame. “Aren’t you excited!”
“Shhh.” I pushed her away playfully.
“Tell us what?” they asked together, both now leaning too far forward into the screen.
Daisy headed back into the kitchen, while I was left to face the foreheads.
I sighed. I wanted to build up to it. Ease them into the idea that I was contemplating staying here. For a while. The more I thought about what was in Boston, or what wasn’t in Boston, the less thrilled I was to return. Them, I would miss. The rest, well couldn’t I have that here?
Marcello aside, I needed something for me. A tether that kept me grounded. Happy.
Maybe that’d be him, or maybe this was just another flash that would burn hot. Either way, I had an opportunity that I didn’t have before and I didn’t know if I could let it go. If I should let it go.
“Things here are great,” I started. “It’s every bit as beautiful as I’d imagined.”
“Spoken like a true artist,” my father said.
“Funny you should mention that.” I cleared my throat again. “You know that Daisy’s an architect and she’s pretty high up with her firm.”
“Yes,” they said in unison.
“Well, I was there visiting today, and a position for someone with my qualifications came up. It’s volunteer, but it’s perfect for me. Right place at the right time, and all that.”
“Working in Rome?” Mom asked, fiddling with her watch again.
I nodded. “Yes.”
“It must feel good, being offered it. We know you’ve been missing that,” Dad said, patting Mom’s hand.
I nodded again, elation ballooning in my chest. “I did a little bit of work for them already while I was here. It was a vase.” That turned out to not be just a vase. “Something else came up, more time consuming. Difficult. Really specialized.”
Then Mom said, “You’re not taking it are you? What would you do? Live there? For how long?”
“Well, I was thinking that I could—”
“I’m all for finding yourself after divorcing, especially after what Daniel did to you. But, sweetie, your home is here. In Boston.”
“Of course it is, Mom. That’s not what I’m saying—”
“I knew this would happen if you went to Rome, I just knew it! What’s next? Traipsing all over the world like Daisy does? What kind of life is that?”
“Actually, Mom, her life is pretty great and—”
“What about meeting someone else? Getting married again someday, hmm? Something less . . . rushed this time. What about starting another”—her voice got weaker—“a family?”
“Whoa, hang on, Mom; I’m not even divorced yet! Getting married again is not even on my radar, and the rest, well the rest . . . I want to work as an artist. I miss the rush of adrenaline I got from finishing a sketch or creating a new piece. Remember how I would float home from class and couldn’t stop smiling? And Dad used to say I was all dreamy? There’s a lot of smiling and floating and dreaming here.”
My parents exchanged a look.
“I need to get Avery Bardot back. I don’t want to just be someone’s wife out of obligation. And if the rest comes, well, then it comes.”
Mom huffed, “What’s wrong with being a wife and a mother?”
She looked hurt, her eyes sparkling with unshed tears. Damn it.
“Absolutely nothing, Mom. I just need to figure out what I want first this time and really let myself have it. And this is a great shot at that.”
Dad patted her hand. “She needs this, dear. You know it and I know it. Besides, we can always visit. Right, Avery?”
I breathed a grateful sigh of relief. Of course they both wanted the best for me. “I can’t wait for you to visit! I’ll make a list of places for you to check out online. You’ll lose your minds over the food, the landscapes, and the shopping.” I dangled the final carrot for my mom to focus on.
“I just worry about you, Avery,” she said, putting on a brave face. “I don’t want you to get hurt.”
MY FIRST DAY OF WORK felt like my first day of kindergarten. Would they like me? Would I make friends? Would I destroy the eighteenth-century frescoes and be deported?
It was a very advanced kindergarten class . . .
I bought a bewildering array of bus maps, highlighted the best and fastest route out to Grottaferrata, and bought my weekly ticket from the tobacco shop down the street. It felt official. I was ready for work. Something I hadn’t done in almost a decade.
Nine years is a long time to be away from something. To be missing that passion that you felt every day when you really loved what you did. I was ready. More than ready, and I couldn’t help but feel that this was my second chance. My new start, and I sure as hell wasn’t going to waste it.
With a tote filled with a sketchbook, pencils, and some other necessities, I was off and waiting at the bus stop. I even packed myself a lunch. My journey to work wasn’t without a slight mix-up, of course. I was lost in my thoughts, doodling an image of Marcello’s shoulders in the book on my lap, and I almost missed my stop.
Maria was there waiting for me when I arrived. “As I said, we didn’t do any of the tests yet. This is a big job, Avery. I need a detailed plan from you first, your list of recommendations, and your best estimation on the time needed. We’ll discuss it with the office. For today, cleaning tests are really the only thing that you have time for.”
The area had already been taped up with the plastic covering, the scaffolding was still in place, and tall stands topped with work lights were spaced out around the area. I wondered what was in store for me behind the curtain. I saw from the project schedule she’d given me that we were already a few days behind with the delays over finding a restorer.
I set up shop in my little corner of the villa. Tools, brushes, long Q-tips, pails, and clean rags were spread out. My chair was puffy and padded for when I needed it, but for now, I sat on the floor and stared up at the wall.
What was under there? I wondered. Pulling out my notebook, I began my list. Overpainting dominated most of the wall. It looked like someone tried to remove it themselves, leaving some damaged areas. Taking pictures of the spots in question, I kept a record of them for reference. They’d need more time, care, and delicate touches.
With pastel, I drew a section over my testing area in five quadrants to show the levels of overpaint and damage.
I detailed my report, including the cleaning process and how it would involve swelling the top layers of paint and then lifting them away from the wall. Layer by layer in what was sure to be painstakingly time-consuming work, we would finally get to the last layer of paint that would have to be dissolved with natural solvents as to not further damage the painting beneath it.
After that, we’d varnish and touch up any spots that needed it before a final sealer was applied. Given the size of the wall and the length and width of the mural on it, we were looking at what was at least two weeks’ worth of work.
WHEN MARCELLO CALLED AROUND MIDDAY, I was bursting with pride.
“I love everything about this job.”
“I want to hear it all.” It was hard to hear him; I’d forgotten he was at a construction site today. Loud Italian screaming mixed with loud Italian noise didn’t make it easy for me to explain my morning. But I gave it a shot, gushing on and on about the people I’d met, the detailed frescoes I was working on, and how I’d already found three new restaurants I was dying to try in the neighborhood.
He chuckled, shouting something at a worker before what sounded like a door closing. “I’m proud of you. You are like a true Roman. Now, if I could only get you to use a Vespa.”
“Nope, no way, no how. Riding on one of those is one thing, driving is something completely different.”
“Just think of how much faster you’d get there,” he explained, while I popped biscotti into my mouth.
“No way,” I mumbled, thinking about me zipping in and out of traffic with a little red helmet on.
I looked out the arched windows onto the courtyard below and counted fifteen scooters. Clearly I was the only person here with a problem with the zippy little bastards.
“Are you busy?”
“Not now. I’m taking a break and reading up a bit on this villa. The family had documents from previous owners lying around that are fascinating.”
“Like what?”
I tucked the phone closer to my mouth and whispered, “Did you know someone was murdered here? A few someones, apparently, but the bodies were never found!”
My mind went to Edgar Allan Poe’s “The Casque of Amontillado,” where an Italian man buries his former friend alive behind a wall in his wine cellar. I made a mental note to be extra careful with the wine cellar’s frescoed wall.
“I can hear how excited you are,” he purred, and all thoughts of Poe went out the window. “Tell me, what do you plan to do later?”
During the ride from my bus stop to the villa earlier this morning, I had concocted a plan. After passing an incredible market on the way in to work this morning, I also spotted a cheese shop, a wine shop, and a bakery, all within thirty steps of the bus stop.
“I was thinking of making dinner tonight.”
“Dinner?”
“Mm-hmm, Daisy’s flying out tonight, I’ll be alone.” I held my breath. “Want to come?”
“Just tell me what time,” he replied.
I told him anytime after seven and hung up with a secret smile on my face.
“I MIGHT USE YOUR LUGGAGE. It’s so much nicer than mine,” Daisy teased, running a hand across the leather. She flicked open the lock and examined the smooth interior. “Definitely using it. Then it guarantees you’ll really be here when I come back.”
“Of course I’ll be here.” I blinked at her innocently. “I’d never leave without my Vuitton luggage.”
She slapped me on the arm. “I’m serious. I travel so much, but I’ve never had someone waiting for me when I got back. It’s kind of nice.”
Daisy the globetrotter was off on a late flight to Amsterdam tonight, bidding on her next project. Who knew when she’d be back. Just last night I was raving about her nomadic lifestyle, but this put her life into a new perspective for me. Sure she had work friends here. but what’s left of her family was back in Boston, and her visits back to the States had gotten less and less frequent over the years.
“Makes you want to find a nice gorgeous Italian man to settle down with, doesn’t it,” I said, arching my eyebrow at her.
“I think you’ve got the nice and gorgeous on lock. I’m in no hurry for either. Besides, I’ve got you. Speaking of nice and gorgeous, any plans while I’m gone? You’ve got a lot of nonwork hours to fill. Whatever will you do?”
I evaded, not because I didn’t want to tell her, but because I didn’t want to jinx anything. “Subtle. I was thinking of some day trips; Florence, Bologna, maybe Milan for a weekend.” I paused, hearing the actual words I was saying. “What is this life?”
“Don’t question it. You deserve every ounce of happiness that this country brings you. P.s., I hear Marcello loves Milan.”
“What’s another word for subtle?” I asked. “Hey, no way!” I cried as she starting pulling my matching duffel bag from my closet. “If you’re taking all my fantastic luggage, I’m keeping this.”
“For weekend trips—”
“For weekend trips,” I said, giddy at the thoughts of planning them. I wasn’t limited to Italy, either. I could revisit Spain. Pop over to Paris. Explore Greece. The sky was the limit. I just hoped that he’d be free—and interested—to join me. But what would that entail? I know what weekends away with Marcello used to mean: lots and lots of naked times. Is that still what it meant? Was I ready for that?
I was pulled out of my thoughts by Daisy, packed and ready to go.
“Don’t get into any trouble while I’m in Amsterdam,” Daisy teased, grabbing her purse and keys. “I worry, leaving you home all alone.”
“I’ll be fine, Mother.”
“Whatever will you do while I’m away . . .”
When the door clicked shut, I jumped from the couch and danced to the table to find my phone to call Marcello. I danced, shimmied, and sang his name. There may have been some humming. It may have been “Let’s Get It On.”
“I can hear you,” she shouted from the stairwell. “You can at least have the decency to wait until I leave before calling your boooooyfriend.”
I swung open the door. With wide-eyed innocence, I said, “How’d you know I was calling your dad?”
She mock-gagged. “Unfair!”
“Be safe. Love you!”
When she disappeared around the corner, I closed the door, leaning against it. The phone was clutched in my hands and my nerves were climbing like vines to wrap themselves around my lungs. I had a pretty good idea of what might happen when he came over, and for the life of me I couldn’t find one reason to not to do exactly that.
I took one more breath, then called to let him know that Daisy had left the building.
With barely one ring, he answered with an out of breath, “Pronto.”
“Hey, am I interrupting you?”
He cleared his throat. “Hey to you, and no, you are not interrupting me. How are you?”
“I’m good. Uh . . . Daisy just left.”
“I see,” he said quietly.
“Do you still want to come over? We could you know . . . hang out.”
“Hang out?”
“Yeah, you know hang out. Board games, Netflix, and chill.”
“Board games?” I could hear the smile in his voice.
“And dinner, you didn’t forget I said I’d make dinner.”
“I have not.”
Everything south of my teeth clenched, tightened, and sang “Hallelujah” in anticipation. “I went shopping this afternoon. I have ingredients.”
“I like ingredients.”
“How’s an hour? That’ll give me time to get things going in the kitchen.” And reshave my legs, loofah my entire body. Slather myself in that blood orange lotion I bought at the fancy Italian soap shop. As you do.
“That might be a problem.”
My heart sank. I didn’t consider there being a hiccup. “Oh, okay,” I said, trying to sound unaffected. “Just come over whenever you can.”
Two knocks rapped at the door.
I jumped, dropping the phone to the floor with a clatter. “No way.” I gasped, picking it up and tiptoeing to the door. “Tell me this isn’t you.”
He let loose a low chuckle. “I would be lying.”
I’d just taken my hair down from the braids I’d been wearing all day. I’d borrowed a shirt from Daisy to wear; it was a size too small, so old it was practically see-through, and happened to be covered in cartoon lobsters. To say nothing of my boxers; yes, old-man boxers that I wear around when I am alone.
Not exactly the seduction I had planned. And yet, I didn’t care.
I tossed the phone and flung the door open. His warm brown eyes went wide when he saw me.
I didn’t think or consider; I just jumped, wrapped, and held on while he pinned me to the door. He was all grasping arms and seeking fingers, and I was melting.