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Randy slid the folded playpen into the back of Eli’s Blazer on Friday morning. She had things to do at the house after her workout, and losing Astor, again, wasn’t on the list. She was becoming more and more convinced that the closet incident had been a matter of losing and not abuse or resentment. They were going on three straight days together, and while the baby might make her life interesting at times, it hadn’t been scary for either of them.
She closed the back hatch, went to the front of the SUV, and climbed into the driver’s seat. She looked back at Astor with a grin. “Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...”
Astor bounced and jabbered. “Go.”
“You got it, girlfriend.” Fifteen minutes later, Randy walked into Tiny Tikes Day Care with a diaper bag slung over a shoulder and Astor balanced on the opposite hip.
Terri Evans rushed forward to meet her and get Astor signed in. “How’s it going?”
“Really good. I think she might just make a mommy out of me yet.”
Terri chuckled. “They do have a way of getting under your skin.”
“I’m figuring that out.” She passed Astor to Terri. “I won’t be gone long.”
Astor puckered up at the transfer and Randy hesitated.
Terri raised her voice to be heard over the crying. “Go, she’ll be fine once you’re out of sight. Enjoy your workout.”
Randy took Terri’s advice and once the huffing, puffing, sweating, and stretching was completed for the day, she relaxed with her five friends and brought them up to speed on the Celeste situation.
“Eli will be home around lunchtime tomorrow, adoption papers in hand.”
Syd scratched her head. “So she just walks away from her child?”
“That’s more than I can wrap my head around,” Charley said.
“Yeah,” Jesse agreed. “I didn’t think she really meant to stay gone.”
“I don’t think Eli really believed it, either.” Randy swigged ice water from her bottle. “Having had some experience with less than perfect mothers, I had a bad feeling from the day she took off.”
“And now?” Mac asked.
Randy let her gaze trail from one face to another. “We leave it all in God’s hands, where it needs to be. I was so scared a couple of weeks ago, but I’ve had a good time with Astor this week. I mean... It hasn’t been all fun and games. There’ve been a few moments when I wanted to run and never look back. But then she crawls up into my lap and snuggles up against me, and I get all mushy inside. Times like that, I know it’s going to work out. I keep thinking that if God could teach Eve to be a mother, He can teach me too.” She glanced at the clock and scrambled to her feet. “I better scoot. I have to get Astor from day care and run some errands.”
Alex held up a hand. “Couldn’t you get those things done faster if you left her where she is?”
Randy pulled her to her feet. “Probably, but taking the easy way out feels like cheating. We’re bonding pretty good. I want to keep that up.”
“Want some company?” Alex asked.
“Really?”
“Sure. Hunter is working. The boys are at school. I can give you the rest of the morning, and we can do lunch.”
“Awesome.” Her plan had been to pick up Astor, go to her house, shower, load the SUV, and hit the store. She rearranged on the fly. “I’ll run home and clean up, grab Astor, and meet you at the Starbucks out on the interstate in an hour.”
At the mention of Starbucks, the ladies with jobs to go to groaned.
“Oh, not fair,” Syd pouted.
Randy closed the door on their complaining with a big smile. She loped down the stairs and hurried out into a beautiful April morning. Her step was light, the product of anticipation. Eli would be home tomorrow, they were getting married in three weeks, and their future...well, their future looked way different than it had three weeks ago, but different didn’t mean worse.
She and Alex spent the morning pushing a shopping cart through an assortment of stores. The purchases mounted. Linens, gadgets for the kitchen, and a few other things that caught Randy’s eye. She had things, Eli had things, together they had two and three of some things, but a bride deserved new, didn’t she?
Through it all Astor sat in the cart like a trooper. Randy was not deceived by her behavior, more than a little positive that the box of animal cookies and a new toy from each store contributed to her good mood.
That mood began a sharp decline around noon and, by the time the trio slipped into a booth at Pasta World, a toddler meltdown was imminent.
“Wow,” Alex said. “I haven’t shopped like that in months. I’m worn out.”
“You and Astor both.” Randy studied the children’s portion of the menu. There was spaghetti of course, but the memory of the mess Tuesday night took that option off the table for anyone under the age of thirty.
The waitress hovered and Randy ordered chicken nuggets for Astor and lasagna for herself.
“I’ll have the lasagna as well,” Alex said.
Randy broke a bread stick in half and handed part to Astor. “Here you go, baby. Lunch won’t be long, I promise.” She looked across the table and caught Alex’s grin.
“What?” Randy asked.
“You’ve come a long way with her in a short time.”
“I—”
“Bites!” Astor shoved the piece of bread aside and her lower lip trembled.
Randy tried the breadstick again. “Just a few more minutes.”
“She doesn’t like bread?” Alex asked.
Randy rolled her eyes. “She likes it fine, but she knows the difference between a snack and real food. When it’s meal time, a snack won’t keep her happy for long.”
Fortunately, they didn’t have long to wait. Just a few minutes later, the waitress returned. “Here you go, ladies.” She placed plates of lasagna in front of Alex and Randy. She held the chicken nuggets. “Where do you want these? They’re hot.”
Randy took the nuggets and began to cut them up into bite-sized pieces.
“Bites.” Astor bounced in the high chair. “Bites.”
“Just a minute.”
It happened before she could blink.
Astor lunged forward in her seat, made a grab for Randy’s plate, and buried her hand in the steaming lasagna.
For the flicker of a second everything and everyone at the table froze, like a video hung in mid frame.
Then chaos.
Astor yanked her hand free. She held the trembling fingers in front of her while tears fell and cries echoed.
Randy couldn’t breathe. She yanked the baby from the high chair, overturning it in her haste, and held Astor close. “Oh Jesus...Oh Jesus...Oh Jesus.” The repeated words were a prayer...a plea for help. “Baby, let me see.” She needed to access the damage, but Astor was frantic in her pain and wouldn’t be still.
Alex rose, reached across the table, grabbed Astor’s hand, and plunged it into Randy’s glass of ice water. “Keep it in the water.” She circled the table and slid in next to Randy. “Oh, baby.” She placed a hand on Astor’s head and whispered a prayer. “Jesus bring calm to this place. Take the pain away.”
Wait staff gathered at the table. “Is she all right?” one of them asked. Randy and Alex ignored them.
“We need to take her to the emergency room,” Randy said. She was crying right along with Astor.
Alex touched the top of Randy’s ruined lasagna, then stuck her finger into the middle of the stack of noodles and cheese. “It’s hot, but it’s not scalding. Let’s hold off on the emergency room idea until we get a good look at her fingers. Hold her tight, I’m going to take her hand out of the water.”
Randy tightened her arms around the child and nodded.
Alex eased the little hand out of the glass, murmuring to Astor as she did. “I know it hurts, baby. We’re gonna make it better.” She placed Astor’s hand on a clean napkin and gently pried the fingers open as Astor’s cries began to lessen. “I think we’re good.”
Randy looked over the baby’s head and her heart sank. “She has blisters.”
“Yes,” Alex agreed. “And she’s going to be uncomfortable for a while, but you can help that with an ice pack for her to hold and some Tylenol.” She put the little hand back into the ice water. “We can call a nurse if that makes you feel better.”
“You can do that? Call a nurse?”
“Hang on.” Alex motioned for their waitress. “Please let everyone know that the baby’s fine. Could you get me a couple of zip lock baggies and some crushed ice?”
She nodded and scurried away.
Alex turned back to Randy. “You can call the ER and speak to a nurse. Tell them what happened, give them details about how she is now, and they’ll give you some ideas about what you should do. They’ll also tell you if they think she should be seen.”
“They do that?” Randy asked.
“Yep, and you need that number programmed into your phone for future reference.”
Future reference?
The waitress returned with the items for the makeshift ice pack and, while Alex assembled that, Randy battled with renewed doubt.
Alex handed the double bagged ice to Astor.
“I don’t know that I can do this,” Randy whispered through her tears.
“It’s just a simple call, Randy. They’re really helpful.”
Randy bit her lip. “No. This...this mommy thing. I wanted to, I promised I’d try. But something goes wrong every time I keep her. I—”
“Stop right there.” Alex studied Randy for a few seconds. “Hon, babies are walking accidents. I don’t care how diligent a mother is, those accidents can’t be predicted and can’t be prevented. What just happened was horrible, but Astor’s fine, and I’m very proud of the way you handled it.”
“All I did was rock her and cry, you—”
“I have fifteen years of experience, you have about a week.” She grinned as Astor, holding the ice pack in her injured hand, reached for a chicken nugget with the other. “Crying is natural, but the instinct to comfort? That comes from love. I think you’re doing just fine, and I’ll bet Eli agrees. Remember what Charley said about Satan stealing your joy?”
Randy nodded.
“You gonna let him?”
You’ve never been a quitter. Her old teacher’s words rang in her ears.
Astor held up a piece of chicken. “Bite?”
Randy gathered the child close, nibbled a corner of the offered treat, and looked at Alex. “Not today.”
* * *
ELI PULLED RANDY’S car into his driveway around noon on Saturday. Tired, defeated, worried. Those were the adjectives that described him, and he wasn’t sure what order to stack them in. He replayed the last words he’d heard from Randy. I love you too, just come home. He knew she loved him, and her words might have encouraged him except for the earlier part about doing what they needed to do. Then she’d texted him yesterday about the incident at the restaurant and sent him a picture of Astor’s hand, along with reassurances that all was well. Eli was relieved that Astor was fine, but the episode increased his worry.
What would he find when he walked into the house? The welcoming arms of a family, or a fiancée on her way out the door, laying claim to his promise never to bother her again?
He reached over to the passenger seat, unzipped the duffle bag, and removed a large envelope. He’d read the adoption papers fifty times in the last day and a half. He wasn’t a lawyer, and he didn’t understand how something like this could be orchestrated so quickly. He’d have Harrison look them over, but the wording was pretty straightforward.
Eli closed his eyes. Father, the next five minutes will make or break my future. I know this isn’t what Randy ever wanted, but I also know we can do this if we do it together...the four of us. Please... He stopped because he couldn’t think of a single word to add that he hadn’t already said. Just, please.
He zipped the documents back in the bag and reached for the door handle. His feet were unenthusiastic as he made his way up the walk. When he opened the front door, silence greeted his entry.
Eli dropped his bag by the front door and cocked his head. He heard snatches of whispered conversation from the kitchen. His nose had also picked up the scent of baking bread and roasted meat.
What in the world?
He moved into the living room and stopped. With both hands on his hips he turned in a slow circle. New lace curtains hung at the windows, and he counted at least three vases of fresh flowers. His heartbeat picked up a notch, and he hurried through to the kitchen, pausing in the door at the sight that greeted him.
A home-cooked meal sat on the table, and between the table and the stove, Randy stood with Astor in her arms. They wore identical dresses and wide smiles. Eli tried to find his voice and failed.
“Cat got your tongue?” Randy asked. When he didn’t respond, she gave a cute little curtsy. “My name is Miranda. My daughter and I will be your kitchen slaves for the day.” Her eyes narrowed slightly. “It’s your turn tomorrow.”
Eli found his feet and circled the table. He gathered Randy and Astor into a hug and buried his face in Randy’s hair. “Deal,” he said around a lump the size of a grapefruit.
Randy tipped her face up and met his gaze.
“I...” He had to stop to clear his throat. “I love you.”
“I love you too.”
Her breath whispered against his lips, and he lowered his mouth to hers. Eli found all the assurance he needed sealed up inside her kiss.