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Kinsley followed Melissa out into the parking lot, blinking in the sudden glare of the sun off multiple windshields. She stopped for a second to let her eyes adjust and then did a quick double step to catch up to Melissa. She had a lot of questions but figured they’d get to them eventually. Right now, it seemed to make more sense to let Melissa take the lead. Melissa wore a look of distress, and the expression puzzled Kinsley. Despite showing up unannounced, she’d expected a little enthusiasm.
Melissa dug in her bag, extracted sunglasses and keys. She slipped the glasses on and aimed her keys at a blue Impala. The horn beeped and lights flashed as the locks disengaged. She motioned to the passenger side. “Hop in.”
Kinsley did as she was told, settling in the seat and resting the heavy backpack on the floorboard between her feet. She stretched the seatbelt across herself, clicked it home, and waited for Melissa to do the same. Instead of starting the car Melissa turned in her seat.
“Go ahead.”
Kinsley looked around, confused. “Go ahead what?”
Melissa dipped her chin and stared at Kinsley over the top of her sunglasses. “You’re kidding, right? We don’t move an inch until you call your parents. Do you have any idea of the panic you caused this morning?”
She had a pretty good idea. And if she hadn’t known, one look at Melissa would have been all she needed. Melissa’s expression oozed discomfort. Sort of like that silly slime stuff I used to squeeze through my fingers when I was a kid. Kinsley ducked her own head. “I wanted to see you. We have things we need to talk about.”
Melissa took a deep breath and reached over to cup Kinsley’s chin in her hand. “And I want to talk with you too.” Her chest rose, and the sigh she expelled echoed in the confines of the stuffy car. “Kinsley, I know the adults in your life haven’t done the best job of being honest with you. I know you have a lot more questions than you have answers right now. But there are ways to go about getting those answers that don’t include putting yourself in danger, ways that don’t take ten years off our lives.”
Kinsley blinked. Melissa thought she’d come all this way to talk about the adoption. Well, why should they think otherwise? Kinsley was just a kid. She wasn’t entitled to the whole truth. She hurried to set the record straight. “It’s not the adoption I—”
“Parents first.” Melissa offered her phone.
Kinsley slumped into the seat, all her good intentions rolled flatter than Mom’s Christmas pie crust by another adult who thought she knew what was right and best for her. Would Kinsley ever be offered the opportunity to choose? “I have my own,” she grumbled, bending to retrieve it from her bag.
She tapped in the numbers and turned to face out the side window, putting her back to Melissa. Her mom answered before the first ring faded.
“Kinsley.”
Kinsley swallowed. How was it possible for her mom to pack so much worry, relief, and anger into a single word? The combination clogged her throat. “I’m sorry,” she whispered, substituting apology for greeting.
“Baby, what were you thinking? Your dad and I were worried sick.”
“Sorry,” she said again, rubbing at the rigid lines between her brows. “It sounds lame, but I needed to get some answers, and I knew you and Dad wouldn’t let me come even if I asked, so...”
“So you just took off across the country on your own?”
Kinsley rolled her eyes. It was one state, not the country, and she’d made it just fine, thank you very much. She was wise enough not to express that aloud.
“Didn’t your dad and I promise to be honest with you from here on out, to answer any questions you had?”
Not about this. Kinsley remembered her mother’s response to Keith’s suggestion that she be considered as a donor. “Well, let me help you out. No.” So much for promises. Anger stirred. “That’s what you said, but you haven’t been honest.” Frustration turned her words to gibberish. “You’re treating me like a baby, and the only way to get answers was to come see for myself. I know you don’t understand, and I’m sorry...but I...I need...” She looked up through a glaze of tears as Melissa reached over her shoulder and took the phone.
“Charley, she’s upset. Let me get her back to the house. Hopefully the drive will calm her down.”
Kinsley watched as Melissa nodded to whatever her mother was saying.
“I know you guys are worried, but it’ll be OK. We can decide what comes next after I’ve had a chance to see what’s going on. I’ll call you back in a little bit.” She nodded again and met Kinsley’s gaze. “You bet.” She swiped the call closed and handed the phone back to Kinsley.
“You bet what?”
Melissa started the car. “She wanted me to tell you that she loves you. I don’t think that gets you out of trouble, but she wanted you to know. Now sit back, and take a few deep breaths. We’ve got a thirty-minute drive back to the house.” She pulled a tissue out of her cavernous bag and handed it to Kinsley. “Have you ever been to Houston?”
Kinsley’s “no” was muffled as she mopped her face and blew her nose.
“Well, hang onto your seat, girlfriend. We do everything bigger in Texas.”
Over the last few days stress had reduced Kinsley to tears, stolen her appetite, and driven her actions to uncharacteristic rebellion. As Melissa pointed out landmarks Kinsley found one more side effect of stress, a bone numbing exhaustion. She was asleep five minutes into the drive to Melissa’s house.
***
CHARLEY PACED WHILE she waited for the phone to ring. It wasn’t worry for her daughter that kept her from relaxing. Kinsley was safe, though there was still much to be settled where her behavior was concerned. Charley paused to look out a window. We’ll get her home, find a way to get things back to normal.
The self-assurance didn’t go very far. The feeling that normal no longer existed was what had Charley’s heart in her throat and fueled her nervous feet. The overwhelming certainly that her worst fear was coming to pass.
Kinsley had found her real mother, and her actions today proved where her daughter’s loyalty lay. Blood trumped love. Hadn’t she always known that on some level? Not telling Kinsley about Melissa had been less a conscious decision and more about self-preservation.
Your friend is dying. Would you begrudge her the chance to know the only child she’ll ever have?
Charley blinked. The question stung. The answer she could barely admit to stung worse.
When she’d told Syd she’d give Melissa a kidney if she could, she’d meant it. She’d share a body part with her friend, but sharing her daughter? Having the child she’d poured her life into call another person mom? Looking into that child’s face and seeing all the ways Charley had failed. Knowing that all she’d done was somehow less than enough. Wasn’t being less than you should have been the fear in the bottom of every mother’s heart?
She stared up at the nubby popcorn ceiling. Despite all her prayers for direction, it remained plain white with no solution written across it in bold red letters. Charley sank down on the couch.
“Father, I’ve always taken pride in the fact that I’m a strong, independent woman. Jason would add stubborn to that, and that’s OK. That’s who You fashioned me to be. Jason and Kinsley and me, we’re a family. A family I never doubted that You brought together. I know You have a plan for us, but I’m not seeing it. This sense of loss and failure is killing me. Knowing I can be so selfish is killing me. Not being able to rise above it is killing me. I need Your help because I don’t know what to do.”
Charley paused as a verse of scripture came to her mind. She prayed it aloud. “My help cometh from the Lord, which made heaven and earth. He will not suffer thy foot to be moved: he that keepeth thee will not slumber nor sleep.” She wiped her wet eyes on the sleeve of her shirt.
“Father, please restore my stability...my normal. Don’t be asleep when I need You the most.”
***
KINSLEY WOKE TO THE soft light of late afternoon. She struggled with the throw tangled around her legs, raised herself to her elbows, and looked around the strange room. Where she was and how she’d gotten there was fuzzy around the edges, like a picture on Facebook before it loaded completely. What she could see of the room was nice enough. The blue-and-white curtains at the window matched the comforter beneath her. She angled her head and sniffed, pulling in the light fragrance from a vase brimming with fresh flowers sitting on a table across the room.
She frowned, images dancing behind her eyes as she tried to pull reality from the murk. Melissa leading her from the car, settling her on the bed, covering her. Melissa.
Kinsley bolted upright. She hadn’t dreamed it. She was in Houston, and she needed to talk to Melissa before her parents showed up to haul her home. How much of her time had she slept away? Kicking free of the throw, Kinsley scrambled from the bed, intending to seek Melissa out and have the conversation she’d traveled almost five hundred miles to have.
“I thought I heard signs of life in here.” Melissa leaned against the door frame and gave Kinsley a thorough once-over. “Feeling better?”
“Yeah.” The word came out hoarse, and Kinsley stopped to clear the nap from her throat. “How long did I sleep?”
“Almost three hours. I’ve never seen anyone your age quite so dead on their feet. Are you hungry?”
The thought of food had her mouth watering. The breakfast bar she’d munched on the way to the airport this morning was a distant memory, and her inflight pretzel snack... “Starved. What you got?”
Melissa turned from the door and motioned for Kinsley to follow. She led the way to a sunny kitchen bright with natural light streaming in from the west-facing windows and the large patio doors. Everything here was mossy green and white, accented with a dark burgundy. The aroma in the air held the barest hint of nutmeg and bacon, and Kinsley’s empty stomach grumbled loudly.
Kinsley slapped both hands over her protesting belly. “Sorry.” She lifted her nose and sniffed. “French toast?”
Melissa laughed. “You’re good.”
“It’s one of my favorite things. Breakfast, lunch, or dinner.” The hint in her voice was less than subtle.
Melissa took a glass down from the cabinet and filled it with cold milk from the fridge before opening a cabinet and bringing out a cookie jar. She placed both items on the table. “Sorry. Keith used all the eggs this morning. Sit and have a snack while we decide about dinner.” She plucked a handful of takeout menus from a basket at the back of the table and handed them to Kinsley. “I don’t cook much anymore, but we can get just about anything you want delivered.”
“Wow.” Kinsley chewed a chocolate chip cookie and spread the menus out in front of her. “We can hardly get a pizza delivered at home.”
Melissa laughed. “One of the perks of city living. Anything strike your fancy?”
Kinsley started on a second cookie and looked at the selection. She was hungry enough that everything sounded good, and the choices were mind boggling. Burgers, pizza, Chinese, Mexican, Thai, Indian. Her eyes widened. Who’d ever heard of takeout French? The thought intrigued her, but... “Shouldn’t we wait for your husband?”
Melissa snagged a cookie for herself. “He left on a short business trip this morning. He’ll be home Sunday night. It’s just you and me.”
Kinsley nodded, unashamed to admit just how grateful she was that he wouldn’t be a part of the upcoming discussion. She went back to her study of the menus. The pizza called her name, but she could get pizza at home...if she wasn’t grounded for the rest of her life. She sent up a silent prayer. God, I’m still counting on You to help them understand.
“This one,” she said, sliding the French menu across the table. “I have no idea what to order though.”
“One of my favorites.” Melissa took the menu. “I can order for both of us if you trust me. Are you a picky eater?”
Kinsley considered the question. “Not normally, but...”
Melissa’s eyebrows quirked up.
“You weren’t planning on snails, were you?” She gave a dramatic shudder. “I want to try French, but I don’t think I’m ready to go there.”
The older woman laughed as she stood, menu in hand. “No worry on that score, sister. Sautéed slugs is something I’ve never been able to wrap my head around either.”
When Melissa returned to the table she stacked the menus back in the basket. “Dinner will be here in about thirty minutes.” She reached for the cookie jar. “You done?”
“Yes, thanks. I needed the snack, but I don’t want to ruin my dinner.”
“I’m going to put them away because they’re tempting me, and if I eat too many, I’ll be thirsty. I have to be careful.”
Kinsley mulled the opening Melissa’d presented. “That’s kind of why I’m here,” she said.
Melissa replaced the cookie jar and slid back into her seat. “I’m not sure what you mean.”
Kinsley stared across the table into eyes so much like hers it was scary. She shifted in her seat and rubbed her sweaty hands on her pant legs. Once the words were said, would she be able to take them back? The woman gave you life and then made sure you had a life! Her mouth opened, but nothing came out. She swallowed and tried again. “I want to give you a kidney.”