Epilogue

 

Darlah

 

 

“The baby’s coming,” Neyenn growled as he paced the birthing center’s waiting room. “She’s in pain! And those bastards won’t let me in there!” he snarled and I backed up a step.

Neyenn is one scary guy.

He’s huge and I plan to never get on his bad side or in his way when he’s pacing.

He would probably squash me like a bug.

“It will be okay, hun,” Mary Sue said calmly from her perch on the couch.

She didn’t even pause in her complicated knitting as she said this.

The woman is a true multi-tasker.

“They just brought her back there, Neye, give them a minute to get her settled and then you can go back,” Muna soothed as she walked in, carrying Molilah’s purse and suitcase.

Neyenn had forgotten it in his rush to get Molilah to the birthing center.

“I don’t want to wait! She needs me! This is BULL SHIiiii… umph…”

His eyes rolled back in his head as he slumped to the floor.

“You're welcome,” Jaye said smugly and stepped over Neyenn’s prone form, a cast iron skillet in his hands.

He was waving it around like he was practicing his tennis swing, and I frowned at him.

“Jayevellan Harvick! Give me that!” Muna huffed as she grabbed the skillet, glaring at him.

“What?” he said defensively. “He was being hysterical. They would have kicked him out if he’d kept up his fussin’ and then he’d miss the birth. I helped him.” He chuckled. “He’ll thank me later.”

Nona walked in and stopped in her tracks.

She looked from Neyenn on the floor, who was now groaning, to Muna holding a skillet, to Jaye laughing like a hyena, and raised an eyebrow at her.

Muna looked at the direction Nona’s inspection had taken and shoved the skillet behind her back, as if that would hide the evidence.

“Do I even want to know?” Nona asked and then laughed. “Of course I do. Do tell?” She glanced over, noticing me watching from my corner.

I smiled and offered her a share of the candy I had been munching on while I enjoyed the show.

I love this family, I thought as I smiled to myself and relayed all that had just transpired.

 

 

 

 

The End

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

****

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Cosmic Soul Mates

Book 2

 

 

 

Out Of This Orbit

 

 

By

Jeanette Lynn

 

 

 

 

 

 

***

 

 

 

Table Of Contents

 

Space Shrimp…

Tinkle, Tinkle little Dar…

Turn your head and cough

Two left shoes

Take your pants off and…

And the award for best actor goes to…

Protein style please

And the bride wore white

Two for one

Would you like fries with that?

Tossing your cookies

Special Delivery

Wake Up Call

Give it to me straight

If you can’t beat ‘em…

Doctor! Doctor!

Revenge is a dish best served…

Epilogue

 

 

 

Warning:

This book contains sexually explicit material intended for readers 18 and older.

 

 

 

***

 

 

 

Space Shrimp on the Barbie

 

Darlah

 

 

“Pfft! Of course you remember me! How could you forget this face?” he huffed, looking at me incredulously, pointing to his very blue mug.

“Someone thinks highly of himself,” I muttered under my breath, rolling my eyes at his overly dramatic performance.

“What was that, Darlah Mae, I couldn’t quite hear you?” he asked sarcastically.

He cupped his hand over his ear, angling it near my face and leaned in, as if to help himself hear me better.

The smart ass.

That’s alright though, because I can be a smarty pants too!

“I SAID!” I repeated, my voice extremely loud and really close to his ear.

I acted like he was elderly and had misplaced his hearing aid.

I prefer to call it 'polite yelling', it’s very similar to traditional yelling, but not quite.

He jumped back, surprised, and yelped, clutching his hand to his ear, glaring at me accusingly.

My Mama raised me right after all, I told myself, ignoring his glare.

Yelling would just be rude. Polite yelling, however...

Heh, heh.

That'll teach him to call me ‘Darlah Mae’. He knows better, pretend memory loss, on my part, or not.

I don’t hate my name or anything, I’m just not really a fan of it either. I much rather prefer Darlah or Dar. A fact the blue manwhore is whole heartedly aware of.

“I think highly of this place,” I continued, talking calmly in a 'yell-talk' type voice, only slightly lower this time.

It was close enough to what I had actually said that I just might be able to get away with it.

He grimaced and stuck his finger in his ear, wiggling it around, like he was trying to clear the ringing from it.

If he shoves his finger in there any further, he might touch his tiny little brain and then where would he be?

He continued to mess with his ear, making silly wiggly motions with his jaw like it might help fix it.

"It's like the emergency testing noise is stuck in my ear," he said distractedly, blinking his eyes and shaking his head a little, adding these new motions to the ear wiggling and jaw shifting.

It probably was ringing, but, hey, a small case of tinnitus never killed anyone. Not that I've ever heard of anyway.

A giggle involuntarily escaped me and I coughed to cover it up.

I gave myself a mental pat on the back for having a part in Jaye's little dilemma, adjusted my glasses and started to walk away.

Jaye jumped in front of me and crossed his well-muscled arms over his chest.

He must work out or something, I thought idly as his muscles flexed with his movements.

It would just be bad juju if he woke up that way every morning, no exercise required.

I eat an ice cream and my ass jiggles for a week.

Some things are just not fair, I thought and sighed.

His ear must have stopped ringing by now, I guessed, because he wasn’t clutching it or making any weird sex faces anymore.

A smirk started to creep up my face at that thought, but I quelled it quickly, going for a blank stare instead.

“It’s only been two months since you last saw me,” Jaye complained, continuing his earlier shtick, appearing irritated and exasperated with me.

“You couldn’t possibly forget me,” he insisted, gesturing to himself dramatically, his other hand on his chest, said chest puffed up with his own perceived self-importance.

He looked ridiculous, but I wasn’t about to point that little tidbit out. It was like the silly Rellian couldn’t handle the idea that I might find him beneath my notice.

The opposite was true, in fact. I found Jaye to be very attractive, physically, but I am not touching that ‘mixed bag of nuts’ for anything in this galaxy or the next.

He practically has ‘high maintenance drama king’ tattooed all over his forehead.

I shrugged my shoulders at him in a helpless gesture, shaking my head at him like ‘Sorry, bub, what can I say?’, and started to walk away again, but was blocked a second time by the big, blue, conceited Rellian.

He wasn't quite finished with his current tangent yet, apparently. Guess he needed a moment to compose his next monologue.

“No, not me, not in two months. I'm quite memorable, or so I’m told,” he professed and smiled at me congenially.

His perfect white teeth were a startling contrast to his blue skin, making them stand out even more in all their grinning glory.

Oh, wow, vain much? I know I could have just dropped it and moved on, but it was too much fun to mess with him, so I continued my game.

I was very proud of myself for keeping a straight face.

“Were they wearing white coats? And coming from an ambulance?” I asked sweetly, giving him my best doe eyed look.

“Why would they be…" he trailed off, confused, and then huffed indignantly, "OH, very funny, missy!"

I laughed out loud at the look on his face, I couldn't help it. It was just too funny.

"Molilah! Mama! She’s picking on me!” he yelled out and started gesturing at me wildly like ‘See! See! She did it!’- alternating between tattling and openly glaring at me.

I smiled at him sweetly, finger waving at him as I finally took my leave and walked away.

My friend, Molilah Harvick, a human like 'moi', was having a barbeque at her house today and that was her best friend Jaye.

You know, the blue, overly dramatic ass I was just messing with.

Molilah and Jaye are best friends and have known each other forever.

Recently, Mol married Jaye’s older brother, Neyenn, making Jaye and Mol in-laws now too.

Molilah and Neyenn didn’t always get along with each other though.

Mol says they were childhood enemies until they got their freak dancing on at Jaye’s cousin Tawn’s wedding.

She says it was the catalyst, in her opinion, that got them on their way to where they are now.

One unplanned camping trip, on a protected forest planet, with just the two of them, ‘wink’ ‘wink‘, and a ride back home from my Daddy-he’s a pilot for the Planet of Natural Forestry- and they were an item.

Of course, that’s the short version, but you get the picture.

Fast forward to now and they are happily wed with a little family of their own.

I glanced over my shoulder at Jaye, the ‘blue menace’, to make sure he wasn’t trailing me.

I don’t want him following me around, just to annoy me, all night.

I gave a sigh of relief when I saw that his time was otherwise occupied.

Jaye can be a big assed Rellian pain in the rump sometimes and I have to keep one eye open for that sneaky manwhore and his not so subtle retribution.

 

****

 

A Rellian, for those who do not know, is a humanoid type being with blue skin, pointed ears and muscles to rival a human body builder.

From what I can tell, all Rellians are built well-muscled and huge, Jaye included.

Jaye did have a few reasons to be a little fat headed, if we're being honest here, with his long, beautiful, powder blue hair, eyes that could only be described as golden, and a dazzling smile, that even I had to admit, can be quite charming at times.

His canines looked sharper and pointier than a human’s, giving him a bit of a faux ‘dangerous air’ about him that some of the ladies seemed to like.

I know exactly what he’s really like though, so I don’t buy into any of his ‘looks’ or bologna.

Jaye also has the attention span of a flea, or so it seems.

…He could just be pretending that to annoy me, though, and the Rellian really does have a flare for the dramatic.

Oh! And he thinks he’s god’s gift to women.

He goes through the skinny little tarts like they're underwear.

I would feel sorry for them, the women he dates, if I hadn’t actually met a few of them.

I think they all share one brain cell among them.

So, naturally, it was fun to tease him and maybe knock him down a peg.

I don’t do it all the time or anything, the teasing. It’s mostly used as a defense mechanism, for when he decides to hover within my vicinity.

That male is high maintenance, even as a friend, and I don’t want him getting any ideas.

Last thing I need is him thinking I would be willing to cater to him, which I’m most definitely not.

Who knows what he’d do if he got that kind of an idea into his thick blue skull.

Eek! No, thanks.

I’m a 'low key' kinda gal.

I don’t need dramatic 'man candy' hanging around, giving me a headache, eating all my food and hogging my television.

Yup, no thanks.

I’m happy just the way things are. For the most part, anyways.

Someday I’ll find my knight in shining armor and let him carry me away to our happily ever after, I thought wistfully, laughing at my fanciful notions.

Until then, though, I’m content with my lot in life, or as content as anyone can be, I guess.

 

 

Jaye

 

 

"Oh, there you are! Jaye, honey, I have someone I want you to meet."

Crap!

I thought I'd lost her.

I turned around and pasted a big smile on my face.

"Hello, Mama. What are you up to today?"

I added emphasis on the last part, because I know exactly what that woman is trying to do.

It won't work though, so I don't know why she even tries.

Heck, you would think she would be a little more preoccupied, big bro and Mol giving her a grandbaby she could spoil and everything.

She's not happy though, unless everyone is as happy as she feels they could be.

Apparently-thanks a lot Neyenn- she feels happiness is found when you have a ring on your finger and your testicles in someone's purse.

Now, I'm not saying Neyenn's whipped or anything.

Those two argue-I think it's like flirting for them- as much as they get along, but I have no desire to walk around acting like a love sick puppy because of a little 'knob slobbing' and thinking I'm in lloooovvvee.

Women are needy, high maintenance creatures. Who wants one around all the time?

Nagging me to do things... expecting me to actually do them... talking about our- shudder- feelings.

No, thank you, not me. Not this Rellian male. I'm a free bird! Or whatever the saying is.

It makes me want to put the kilt I had to buy when I lost that bet with Neyenn back on and run around screaming ‘FREEDOM!’

Hey… that's not a bad idea, I mused to myself and then realized Mama had begun talking again.

"What was that, Mama? Sorry, woolgathering over here," I apologized, gesturing toward my head.

I could tell she was getting irritated with me and trying valiantly to hide it.

"I was just saying that Vagineya is studying to be a gynecologist, aren't you 'Vag'?" she said conversationally, like she hadn’t just said ‘vagina’ and ‘gynecologist’ in the same sentence in front of me.

I couldn’t help my reaction though, when my inner twelve year old took over and I burst out laughing.

"Oh, my god! Your name is 'Vagina' and you wanna be a 'coochie doctor'? Oh, my god!" I blurted out as I hooted with laughter.

If the look on her face was anything to go by, I would say 'Miss Vajayjay' wasn't amused.

"I'm sorry, I shouldn't laugh," I managed between laughs, trying to sober myself up. "... It’s just... and then... but you... and then... She said 'Vag'," I gasped, pointing at my mother through my laughter.

Mama turned purple and opened her mouth and then shut it again.

She did this a couple of times and by the time she got herself composed, I had finished my fit.

"What's going on? Did a Varelan goose get out of the neighbor’s yard again? Oh, never mind it's just you," drawled my cousin Exinn.

"Phew," he continued in faux relief. "I heard all that honking and had to wonder for a minute, but then I just happened to see you and it all made sense. Now don't be rude, Sphincter, who's your friend?" he said smoothly, gesturing with his head toward Vagina, Vagayna, Vagamaya? I dunno- the aspiring gynecologist lady.

Whatever.

Vag-a-who-dee-something or other, who had been standing there stock still, turned three shades darker a pink, watching the whole entire byplay, and suddenly smiled shyly when Exinn turned the charm in her direction.

Exinn took one of her four hands and kissed the top of it, bowing over it chivalrously.

Maybe I should mention 'Miss Vag, the future hoochie coochie doc', is a Cardanian.

She must be only half though, because she had long white hair with black streaks in it.

Full blooded Cardanian’s were absent of any and all body hair.

She looked like a half shaved skunk, in my opinion.

Poor girl, looked like a skunk and she wanted to spend her work day up to her eyeballs in...

"Ow! Ma! What gives?" I shouted as my Mama whacked me hard across the back of my head.

I looked around to make sure no one had noticed Mama whacking me.

No sense in sending unnecessary tongues wagging, right?

Exinn had, apparently, absconded with Miss Vag, at some point, and all I could think was 'Hallelujah' and 'Bub-Bye'.

"Do you know what you just did?! That's Vagineya, Ponne's baby cousin, you dolt!" my mother seethed, narrowing her eyes at me.

Uh, oh. I'm so dead.

Ponne is my cousin Tawn's husband.

He's built like Neyenn, who I'm not ashamed to admit is actually quite a bit bigger than me, has four arms and a chip on his shoulder a mile wide where I'm concerned.

Unlike his cousin though, Ponne is a full blooded Cardanian.

He's 'pink' pink like his cousin, but has no body hair whatsoever and a mohawk like ridge that runs from the top of his skull and all the way down his spine.

I have no idea why he has it out for me personally- mmm, okay, that’s not entirely true-maybe I do- but it's not my fault the male is pink, hairless, and I feel an insatiable need to rib him about it. Constantly.

Of course, it isn't his fault either, but I'm not going to debate that right now, not when I need to find a place to hide and quick.

"How was I supposed to know that?! I thought you were trying to shove another desperate female down my throat again!" I huffed indignantly.

I mean, good grief! She could have warned me or something.

You don't just spring a 'Vagineya' on someone and not expect a strong reaction from them.

"I hope you’re happy now, Mother," I muttered petulantly, not able to make eye contact with her, because I know I'm completely full of crap.

Hey, someone's going down for this and if I can help it, it aint gonna be me.

"Now Ponne's going to kill me and give Neyenn his lifelong dream of being an only child!" I huffed out crossly, throwing my arms up in exasperation.

I quickly turned around on my heel and stalked off in the opposite direction I had seen Ponne and his brothers earlier.

I could hear my mother sputtering and cursing behind me.

I smiled a little at that.

She’s probably going to get me back for that later, but I have bigger fish to fry right now.

I picked up my pace as I hightailed it towards the house, in search of a safe place to hide.

I know what you’re thinking, ‘Chicken much?’, but let me tell you, I personally don’t want to be sandwiched between three pissed off, muscle bound Cardanians, each dude sporting four arms to my two.

I could fight them, of course, and I know I can hold my own in a fair fight. Add to that the fact that Neyenn, in deference to Mama, wouldn’t let them beat the pulp out of me, but I have no desire to mess up this beautiful blue mug over an insult to their skunk striped, crotch career geared cousin.

 

 

Tinkle, Tinkle little Dar...

 

Darlah

 

 

"If you could just excuse me for a moment, um, Marre? Was it?"

The Cardanian standing next to me just grinned and inclined his head, as if to say 'As you wish'.

So polite! And sooo big! Whoo boy!

I mentally fanned myself as I surreptitiously admired all that Cardanian man meat.

What a male could do to a gal with four arms...

I smiled at my wayward thoughts, heading towards Mol with my pertinent question.

As I got closer, I noticed Molilah was holding her ten month old daughter, Eilahna, who was fast asleep, despite the rowdiness of the barbeque.

Eilahna, 'Ellie' or 'Eilah' for short, was adorable.

She had her Mama's looks and her Daddy's blue skin, but hers was just a few shades lighter than his.

Her hair, even though she doesn't have all that much yet, is brown and wavy like Mol's, but streaked with navy blue, the exact shade of Neyenn's.

"Hey, Mol, where's your restroom, dude?" I whispered, so as not to wake the baby.

Molilah gave me directions and I almost wondered if I would need a map. Her house is pretty big.

I waved my way off and told her to send a search party if I didn't come back.

After several twists, and two wrong turns, I finally found the bathroom.

Thought I had to go before, but now I'm borderline nuclear on a bladder bust.

I had just started to 'drop trou' when Jaye comes bursting into the bathroom.

"Oh, my god! Get out! Can't you see someone's in here?!!" I screeched, gripping my unzipped pants in a death grip.

"Shhhhh!" he whispered urgently, his finger to his lips and a 'shut the hell up!' expression on his face.

I frowned at that, half-mast pants forgotten in the madness.

What the hell is he doing?

And why is he doing it in here?

He had his ear pressed up against the door, an intent look on his face, like he was expecting something to happen any moment now or something.

Hiding from someone maybe?

"I thought I locked that door," I recalled after a moment, realizing I was ninety nine point nine percent positive I had locked the darn thing.

"Oh, you did," he said casually, like he hadn't just barged in on my 'tinkle time'.

His ear was to the door again, listening fixedly for something.

"Erm, Jaye?"

"WHAT?!" he whispered loudly, an exasperated expression on his face.

"Can't you see, I'm busy here?" I asked in an 'are you stupid' kind of way.

He glanced at my position and dismissed me in that one glimpse and a 'so what' type of shrug.

"My 'thing' is more important than your 'thing', obviously. This is my life here, Dar! Do your business, I won't look. Now be quiet! Hmmm!" he huffed in a loud whisper.

What an ASS!

I'm going to brain him, Mol's best friend or not!

"You're busy?! You're BUSY! I'm trying to do something here!" I yelled, my bullshit tolerance hitting its limit for the day.

His eyes popped open wide at my outburst.

He looked so thrown off that he'd pushed me to this point that he just stood there for a moment, speechless.

I opened my mouth to berate him some more, in an attempt to get him to get the hell out, but his next move tells me he must have seen what was coming.

He leapt at me then, his hands raised up high and coming towards my face.

I screeched, shoving my hands up to shield myself.

After a moment, I realized nothing had happened and peeked at him from between my fingers.

He was just standing there, stock still, staring at something, interestedly, towards the vicinity of the floor.

It hit me then, as an important fact made itself known, that I had put my hands up to cover my face and my pants had fallen, leaving my undies exposed for Jaye's perusal.

This thought was confirmed by the breeze I now felt on my exposed thighs.

"Eep!" I squeaked and tried to cover myself.

"Huh," Jaye said thoughtfully after a moment, a truly surprised expression on his stupid blue face.

"Who would have thought someone like you would wear panties like that," he said, gesturing at my nether regions, nodding his head in approval at my choice of undergarments.

"Gotta say, Dar, I wholeheartedly approve. Love the lace."

He grinned suddenly and I wanted to crawl into a hole and die.

"Wait a minute, buster, what do you mean 'someone like me'?" I demanded, completely offended once his comment had sunken in.

"You know, a mousy prude, someone like you," he explained, gesturing at my person, like that just said it all.

I am not a prude! I thought heatedly, stunned, my jaw dropping in disbelief.

It would probably be hitting the floor if it was capable.

I recovered quickly, glaring at the big blue oaf hatefully.

"Mousy prude?! Mousy prude!" I yelled at the top of my lungs, fed up with all of it, all of this.

He grabbed me suddenly at my outburst, pants at my ankles and everything, and tried to wrestle me, so he could put his hand over my mouth to keep me quiet.

Now we were hunched, him on my back, over the sink.

One of his muscled arms was wrapped around me, keeping me pinned into position, while the other tried to reach my mouth to cover it.

I kept wiggling to try and free myself, but he was twice my size and too damn strong for his own good.

"Well, I have news for you, Jayevellan!" I growled in desperation, grunting. "This mouse is anything but a prude! In fact, this mouse bites!" I shrieked out, my voice high pitched and squeaky with breathlessness.

I bit him hard when his hand finally managed to clamp over my mouth.

"Ow! Ssshhhiitt, woman!" he roared out in pain.

He pulled his hand back a little and I was very proud of the crescent shape of the teeth indentations I’d left behind on his hand.

"Stay still! I'm not going to hurt you! Just quit squirming and shut up!" he whispered desperately, trying to get me to comply.

This ‘little mouse’, though, was having none of it and I continued to screech at my giant blue captor articulately.

He reached his arm out and grabbed a small washcloth from the basket on the counter-I'm assuming, to put in my mouth- and I grabbed at his hands, cupping mine over his on the sink and clenching them so he couldn’t move them.

I dug my nails in and he yelped, grunting in pain.

I used that distraction and head butted him in the face, then pushed my rear into his groin to try and knock him off of me.

"Oh! Sweet Jesus! Oh, my god!" He threw his head back and moaned.

Oh, it wasn't that hard! I thought to myself as he continued his heartfelt moaning.

The bathroom door burst open and we both froze, mid pose.

A very worried looking Perre and Marre were standing there, staring at us.

Their expressions quickly went from pissed and worried to slightly horrified embarrassment.

Well, I had them both beat on horrified, and I can follow it up with a good dose of mortification.

After a moment of self-reflection, I realized why their expressions had turned into embarrassment.

We appeared to be in a very compromising position.

"Sorry," Perre muttered, looking anywhere else but at us.

"We heard a... um...” Marre spluttered.

"A noise," Perre finished for his brother uncomfortably.

"We thought you were in distress," Marre blurted, seeming distraught at the idea.

"We will just leave you two to... uh, erm, finish, eh?" Perre said quickly and they both turned to hurry off like their butts were on fire.

 

 

Turn your head and cough

 

Jaye

 

 

I glanced down at us and the picture we must be presenting.

I was hunched over the little mouse, our hands clenched tightly over each other’s, my head thrown back and she was pressed hard over the sink, her pants at her ankles.

Yep, looked like we were 'gettin’ it on'.

But I thought the twins were looking for me in retribution… for insulting their 'lady parts' named cousin- however it is you say her friggin' name?

Maybe embarrassment outweighs wanting to punch my lights out?

"Whoa, there! It's not what it looks like, guys," I yelled at the hall they’d left through.

"Get off of me so I can pull my pants up, you blue oaf!" Dar hissed, resuming her wiggling.

Is it wrong that it’s turning me on?

"Jayevellan Harvick!" Mama screeched out from behind us.

When did she get here?

I looked over my shoulder at my mama, who looked pissed and a little shocked.

This isn’t looking too good for me on the Mom front right now. Mama screeching meant Mama was losing her composure, and if Mama was losing her composure, it consequently meant she was probably going to 'get me'.

Crap!

As if today couldn't get any worse.

"What are you doing?! You are at your brother's barbeque!” she hollered, ranting at me in disbelief.

Her hands were on her hips and she had an incensed look on her face.

“Couldn't you have waited to tup whatever tart you've coerced into bathroom sex to wai.....Oh, oh, my... oh, um, hello…" Mama spluttered, stumbling on her words as she smiled weakly in Dar's direction, just now noticing that it was her.

"Hello, Darlah, dear... oh, um..." she trailed off awkwardly.

Mama blushed deep fuchsia and I know I did too.

Darlah looked as red as a tomato and if it wasn't myself in this position, this whole situation would have been hysterical.

Now, though? Not so much.

"Muna? What's the matter?" Auntie Nona asked as she appeared over Mama's shoulder, peering in at us curiously.

She whistled low as she took the whole scene in.

Just shoot me now!!!

Not Nona! Anything but that meddler!

I groaned and leaned a little onto Darlah's prone form, my head high between her shoulder blades and neck.

Her body stiffened, but I didn't move.

Surprisingly enough, it's quite comfy like this.

"What's the matter, Jaye, couldn't wait and take her on a proper date first?" Nona asked, exasperated, seemingly with me and what she perceived now as my impatience to ‘tup my tart‘.

She was 'tsk tsk ing' me and muttering about the 'horny youths of nowadays'.

My jaw dropped.

"I wouldn't have sex with him!" Darlah squeaked out from beneath me in outrage, before I could say anything to Nona’s comments from a second ago.

Dar was so quiet during that whole thing, I almost forgot she was there for a moment.

Well, not physically- my body is very aware of her presence in that way, but I meant ‘conversation wise’.

"Hey! Why wouldn't you have sex with me?" I asked suddenly, indignant at the vehemence of her statement.

"I'm awesome!" I burst out, gesturing wildly at myself.

"I will have you know, little mouse, that I'm a great lover," I huffed at her, warming up to my new 'shtick'.

"How would you know, Casanova? Make love to yourself a lot?" She snorted and looked over her shoulder to glare at me.

"Yes! I mean... wait... No. Look! Don't confuse me, woman! You know what I mean!"

She's doing that on purpose! Difficult woman!

Grrr.

"We are just going to, uh, let you two fini...um, I mean, get cleaned up, eh... Oh, boy..." Mama mumbled awkwardly, muttering the latter part, and then she left.

Nona winked at us and closed the door behind them.

Her parting shot, before she closed it though, was what sealed the deal on this whole catastrophe. She waggled her brows at Darlah and said, "Don't do anything I wouldn't, my dear."

When all is said and done, at least the pinky twins weren't out for my blood after all, but I'm pretty sure Dar is now.

 

 

Two left shoes

 

Darlah

 

 

I've always loved watching the drama unfold with the crazy blue Rellians. They put on quite the show when they get riled, I thought to myself.

However, I now realize, it's not so much fun to be caught up in the melee.

I grimaced, just thinking about it.

After Nona had taken her leave, I disentangled myself from Jaye and hurried him from the room, or I tried to anyways.

Who knew there was a male out there that would actually want to talk about what had just transpired.

Leave it to Jaye to be different.

He put his hand on my arm to stop me as I reached for the knob.

"Geez, mouse, don't sweat it. I'm not. No one really cares and no one will say anything."

He shrugged and then laughed, like it was no big deal.

"Heck, it’s not like things like this haven't happened before. Wouldn't be the first time for me," he chuckled out, smirking at me, and I could feel my blood boil.

I swear, if this was that movie with the girl who could move things with her mind, Jaye would definitely be ducking right now.

If he was smart, he would be looking for something to shield himself with right now, telekinetic powers or not.

 

 

Jaye

 

 

I'm just guessing here, but I think that, that was the wrong thing to say. Darlah glanced up at me and I saw for the first time, that she was pretty upset.

Extremely upset, I amended, after studying her expression.

She cleared her throat and closed her eyes.

She did some soothing in and out breaths for a moment and then opened them again.

It was like she'd flipped a switch or something, appearing, for all the world, cool, calm and collected.

"I don't... I don't... I'm not a slut," she said quietly and took another deep breathe to compose herself again.

"I suppose I have you to thank for helping me perpetuate that kind of an image today. Now, get out. I have to pee and I'm not above pissing on you right now," she said bitterly, her voice controlled and hard.

I left, trudging slowly down the hall.

I felt funny all of the sudden and it bothered me, an aching pain forming in my chest, somewhere in the vicinity of my heart.

Maybe I'm getting sick or something, I thought to myself as I absently rubbed my chest.

 

 

One Week Later

 

 

Take your pants off and... jack it?

 

Darlah

 

 

I started to get two plates out and set them on the table.

This was just what I needed, I thought to myself, still trying to slough off all thoughts of that disastrous bathroom incident.

What does it say about me if I'm still bothered by it?

It is going to be okay, I pep talked myself. No one even mentioned anything later.

Yep, today was just the ticket.

A little conversation, a good chick flick, some good company-who should be here any minute.

There was a knock at the door and I headed towards the oven to check on dinner.

"It's unlocked," I called from the kitchen.

Footsteps sounded and I paused.

They didn't sound like Molilah's light steps.

This was a girl's night… Who's watching the baby if Neyenn's here?

I gasped and put my hand over my mouth.

Unless it wasn't Neyenn or Mol, I thought and panicked.

I grabbed a utensil blindly from the drawer in the kitchen and crept out toward the entryway to the living room.

"Freeze, asshole!" I yelled and jumped out into the living room, waving around my kitchen utensil like a deadly weapon.

"What are you going to do, mouse? Spank me?" Jaye called from the middle of my living room, motioning towards my weapon of choice.

"You’re wielding a slotted spoon at me like a sword. I don't think that would do much damage in the event of an intruder." He smirked, chuckling at himself.

"Might make him hungry though," he continued, snorting.

I threw the spoon at his head.

"What are you doing here, Jaye? Get out. I'm a little busy at the moment," I clipped angrily, frowning at him and his uninvited visit.

I’m not really in the mood for any of his antics right now, I seethed inwardly, my frown turning into a scowl.

This is supposed to be my relaxing girl’s night and I can’t relax if he’s here mucking about.

Jaye, after ducking the spoon, looked around at the room.

He peeked into the kitchen and took in the place settings and food laid out to eat.

His brow knitted and he frowned at the table.

"Got a hot date tonight, mouse?" he asked curiously, a slight smile on his face.

He didn't sound too happy though, despite the smile.

What a hypocrite!

‘Manwhore of the year’ over there, looking down on me because he 'ass-sumed' I have a date.

That is just rich.

I chose to ignore his question and focused on finding out what the blue oaf wanted.

"Why are you here, Jaye? As I said, I'm busy."

“We have something to settle between us, you and I," he said quietly, sounding completely serious.

I snorted.

"Oh, no, we don't. You and I...” I grumbled petulantly, "have nothing to discuss, so go awa...What are you doing?!"

Jaye had started to fiddle with his pants, during our conversation, and I thought, at first, he was just fixing his fly or something.

You know, 'oops, forgot to zip up', but then he suddenly gripped the sides of his waist band and dropped his pants, exposing all that thick, blue muscled skin and black men's briefs.

Oh, my... oh, wow.

I stood there speechless, eyes wide, mouth agape, probably drooling a little.

"Now we're even," Jaye said cheerfully, his arms spread wide so I could get a good 'look see'.

"I, uh… you, uh… umm..." I sputtered, mouth still agape.

He must have read the utter confusion on my face and decided to help me out.

"I saw you and now you've seen me. We're even," he said succinctly.

Understanding dawned on me the same time the doorbell rang.

I ran over to him and patted his shoulder, pushing a little on the last pat.

"Well! Then… that's all settled then!" I said hurriedly and clapped my hands together, then started making 'pick up your britches' gestures at him.

"Okay, bye now! Get out," I called sweetly, in an attempt to get him moving faster.

He looked at the door, then me, then the door again, and narrowed his eyes.

He crossed his arms over his chest, and I can't believe I'm saying this, but… he pouted!

The big assed Rellian of a man actually had his lower lip jutting out, like he was a two year old who had been denied a sweet before dinner.

It would have been somewhat cute-what a disturbing thought- if I wasn't in such a hurry to get him to pull his damn pants back up.

He didn't look like he was going anywhere any time soon though, so I rushed over to him and knelt down in front of him.

"Whatcha' doin' down there, little mouse?" he asked, grinning a sexy smile at me.

I rolled my eyes and gripped his pants to pull them up.

The door opened and a familiar voice drifted through.

"Hey, Dar? I hope you don't mind, but I turned our party of two into a party of four," Molilah called from the vicinity of my front door.

Jaye looked down at me, shocked, and then clutched my head to him, inadvertently squashing my poor face into his brief covered crotch.

Muna's voice drifted towards us from the entryway and I freaked, squirming and pushing away from his hand, but it was still clutching the back of my head to his man parts.

Jaye jumped when Nona's voice joined in and put his shirt over my head.

What the hell?

Like that was going to hide me?

The party in question came into the room and I could hear their footsteps halt suddenly.

"Oh, my god, Jaye! Again?!" Muna hollered, and even though my back was to her, I could just picture her look of disapproval singeing our persons.

"Again?" Mol asked, surprised, to the room at large.

"This isn't what it looks like," I cried desperately, but it came out a little muffled from my current awkward position.

I wiggled around until his shirt was no longer completely over my head, but it was still just as awkward a position with my face presently squashed into his crotch.

"Rrrriiiigghhhhht," murmured Mol, drawing it out disbelievingly, amusement threading her voice.

"So… this isn't me walking in on you with your head in my bestie's crotch?" she asked, and I could just picture the smirk spreading across her face as she said it.

"Her head is in my crotch, but she didn't do it. I put it there," Jaye put in helpfully and then choked out after a moment, "That didn't sound right. Wait! I mean, she put it there, but I pressed it into my di... er, I mean..."

"Jaye!" I shouted over his rambling.

"Yeah, mouse?"

"Stop helping me! Just. Shut the HELL UP!"

"Yes, ma’am," he said quickly, shutting right up.

If only he was always this compliant.

 

 

And the award for best actor goes to.....

 

Jaye

 

 

This seems to be a running theme in my life lately.

I sighed.

What to do in a situation like this? Hhhmmm.

Come on, man, think! You've been in worse situations, right?

And then- 'Eureka'!

I put my hand on Dar's head suddenly, as if to shield her.

I glared at the other occupants of the room, my head held high, looking down my nose at them.

"What do you mean, ME?! You people,” I snapped, flapping my free hand around in their general direction, "should have knocked! Huh? I mean, give a guy a warning, right! If you hadn't just walked in, we wouldn't be in this situation, now would we?"

Mama looked contrite and I fist pumped the air in my mind.

She bought it!

One down, two to go.

"Embarrassing my poor little mouse," I continued, running my fingers lovingly through her straight, brown, baby soft hair.

Man, it was super soft and silky smooth, I thought absently as I continued to sift my fingers through her golden brown tresses.

Molilah looked sympathetic and blushed, probably remembering some embarrassing situation or another she had been in.

"I'll, uh, go get more plates and stuff," she mumbled and made her exit, Mama following behind her.

Two down. Now for the hard part.

"Oh, save it," Nona chuckled, gesturing at us.

"I don't buy any of that malarkey, not even for a minute, boy!" Nona chortled, laughing heartily.

"So, forget it! Totally wasted on me. Where do you think you get it from, blue boy?" She smirked, waving her hand airily, chuckling genially.

She turned and went into the kitchen with everyone else, shaking her head as she went.

 

 

Darlah

 

 

"Let go!" I hissed, but my face in Jaye's crotch made it come out muffled.

"I dunno, mouse, I kinda like the idea of you at my mercy," he laughed, his fingers still threaded through my hair.

That ass! I fumed.

At his mercy, huh?

I'll show him mercy! The little manwhore.

I opened my mouth and put it on one of his testicles, through his briefs. I clamped down a teeny tiny bit and he yelped, releasing my hair to jump back from me.

"Are you trying to unman me, woman?!" he bellowed, grabbing his good bits and rubbing them in sympathy.

I didn't bite them really, it was more of a nip.

Heh. Heh.

"I'm sensitive there! You evil temptress! Be careful," he hissed at me, then pulled his pants up and straightened his clothes.

By the time he’d finished, he was still giving me the evil eye for my ball nipping.

"I tried to warn you, but you never listen, manwhore. This little mouse bites, remember?" I said saucily with a flash of teeth.

He looked truly surprised for a minute, like he couldn't believe the plain, mousy, plump friend of Mol's would talk like that or nip at a man's parts, but there's a lot the big blue oaf doesn't know about me.

I smiled and left the room, taking off my glasses and wiping them off on my shirt as I went.

The darned things were smudged so bad I could barely see out of them.

I chuckled to myself.

Wonder how that happened?

I entered the kitchen and Mol sidled up to me, looking me over worriedly.

"Everything okay?" Mol whispered, glancing from me to the living room as I went to grab a plate from her.

"Fine." I smiled serenely, taking the plate, acting like she hadn't just caught us in, what looked like, a 'knob slobbing' situation.

"You're as bad as Jaye," Mol muttered under her breath and I chose to ignore it.

Hey, man, if you can't make it, you fake it, right?

 

 

Protein style, please

 

Jaye

 

 

She bit me! The little mouse actually bit my nuts!

This demands retribution! Even if I was egging her on.

I can't get too upset about the 'manwhore' thing though, because 'hello'.

And she seems so opposed to someone thinking her and I got a little funky, I contemplated as I recalled the angry glint in her eyes as she let me have it.

She’s not much of a mouse on the inside after all, is she? So sexy when she’s riled up too.

That plain, bespectacled woman has a temper after all, I mused.

All the ribbing and teasing I've been doing to her for months and she never cracked, not once.

Her sharp tongue just kept giving it back to me, full force, as good as I gave it.

However, as I have discovered, act like we're doing the 'horizontal mambo' and she freaks.

I've finally found her kryptonite, I thought and grinned wickedly.

Why not take advantage of this rare opportunity to keep her flustered, I pondered, my grin getting wider, if that’s even possible.

On the inside, I was rubbing my hands together gleefully and laughing maniacally- like the bad guys in the cartoons do.

Hmm. I might as well let myself have a little fun. I'm already here, I decided and chuckled.

“Let's let the show begin, shall we?” I murmured excitedly.

I gave myself a moment to wipe the look off my face, and then walked into the kitchen, acting for all the world like I normally invite myself over to eat at her place.

"Get me a plate, mouse, would you? I'm starving," I said regally and sat down in the chair opposite Darlah's.

Dar's lips pursed, but she held her composure.

She cleared her throat, raised her brows snootily, and in her best mother’s voice said, "This is a 'ladies night', Jayevellan, and unless you have the proper equipment, you can't come."

Oooh, pulling the Jayevellan card, huh?

"Well, fine then, Darlah Mae, no big deal," I said and sighed heavily.

I got up from my chair and made my way to the door.

I stopped and paused, giving her my best look of longing.

"It's not like I really wanted to crash your shindig anyways, but what was I supposed to do when she practically begged me to come over? So, we could," and I emphasized this part with air quotes, "spend some time together. I'm starting to feel a little used here."

I looked around sadly, putting my best pout on.

"That's not the only way to get protein, you know..." I added, just for good measure.

She screeched like a banshee and ran after me with a pasta fork as I ran out the door.

"Call me, baby!" I yelled through the closed door as I walked towards the stairs to exit her apartment.

I could hear her frustrated scream and what was probably the pasta fork hitting the door, as I left.

I laughed like a hyena down the whole flight of stairs.

 

 

Three weeks later

 

 

And the bride wore white

 

Darlah

 

 

It seemed like a very impromptu wedding, but who am I to judge.

"You know, I didn't even know they were dating," I told Molilah as we sat next to each other at the reception table.

It was a tasteful affair, at any rate.

Good food, good music, nice atmosphere.

I bopped along to the music a little in my seat.

I love this song, I thought to myself as I hummed along quietly.

I have to say though, the groom looked a little hunted, while the bride was beaming from ear to ear, latched onto her groom like a leech.

"Oh, they weren't dating. Not really," Mol confided, giving Eilahna a toy to play with as she made another grab for Mol’s silverware.

I made a 'do tell' motion with my hands and she continued, bouncing Eilahna along to the music gently on her knee.

"Ponne caught Exinn and Vagineya in a 'compromising position' at my barbeque, and Ponne demanded they marry immediately. Perfect timing too, because I heard she's preggers."

"They did a good job of putting this all together in such a short amount of time. Um, isn't it a little too early to tell if she's pregnant or not? I mean, it hasn't even been that long, right?" I asked, curious now.

"Cardanian’s have a crazy sense of smell or something, I think they can tell really soon after conception. You would have to ask Marre, Perre, or Ponne about it." She shrugged. “They knew before I did that I had my baby girl in the oven, so who knows how soon after conception they can tell.”

"Oh. And, hey, I don't even remember seeing them at the barbeque," I thought out loud and frowned, trying to remember seeing them at all, and coming up blank.

"Uh-huh," Mol murmured, "and now you know why." She smirked.

We looked at each other and then busted out laughing.

"What's so funny?" Neyenn asked as he set a plate in front of Mol, loaded with all the good stuff, and then set down another plate, this one piled high with Rellian cakes. "See, short stuff? I can be accommodating," he boasted and winked as he took his seat next to Mol, then stole two of the cakes right off of her plate.

She laughed and grinned at her husband amusedly, reminding me of a Cheshire cat the way her smile widened even more and a knowing look crossed her face.

I took little Ellie so they could both eat and started walking around with her when she got fussy.

I danced a little and Eilahna started pumping her little arms and legs in excitement, squealing whenever I pretended to dip her.

She's just so cute!

I laughed as she gave me a big sloppy kiss on the cheek and started pumping her arms and legs again, smacking my face as if to say, 'Get moving again, lady! Giddy up!'

I laughed as she squealed happily and we made our way around the perimeter of the room again, dancing away to the sway of the music.

 

 

Molilah

 

 

"She does so good with Ellie. Look, blue Balls." I motioned towards my husband and pointed to where Dar was gently dancing and bouncing an ecstatic Eilahna on her hip, the two giggling away happily.

He looked up from his plate and grunted his agreement, not breaking his steady pace of 'scoop, shovel, chew'.

I rolled my eyes at him and laughed lightly.

There's something very methodical to everything he does, I thought as I watched him as he ate. It’s like he plans everything out before he does it.

"You’re watching me again, lily white, it's unnerving. I'm trying to eat here, baby," he complained, seeming exasperated with me, but I could hear the amusement in his voice.

I shoved him playfully.

"Get over it, Neanderthal, you married me, quirks and all, so deal with it," I told him, batting my lashes at him and then asked him in my best demure tone, "Why, sugar, do I make you nervous?"

He barked out a laugh and shook his head at me.

Right at that moment, Marre and Perre came over with plates laden with food.

"May we sit here?" they asked in unison.

"Sure, the more the merrier," I replied, smiling graciously at them and motioned for them to sit.

Marre and Perre are Ponne's younger twin brothers. They're really nice fellas, even if they are a little odd.

They have some type of deep twin connection.

I'm not too sure how it works, exactly, but they are literally connected mentally or something.

They finish each other’s sentences a lot and seem intuitive of one another's feelings or needs.

I got used to it after a while and I don't even notice it anymore.

I looked out over at the room the reception was being held in, taking it all in. It was a far cry from the madness that was Tawn’s wedding, so, thank god for that.

I glanced over at my fellow dinner companions now, to see what they were doing.

Marre was staring at something across the room and I followed his gaze, out of curiosity, to see what had drawn his attention.

He was watching Darlah and Eilahna with a look of such intense longing on his face.

I really felt for the poor Cardanian.

"She's not seeing anyone, you know, erm, at least nobody that's serious." I inclined my head in Dar's direction, to let him know I had caught on to what he'd been doing.

"She's not? But I thought...” Marre started to say.

"She was seeing the younger Harvick, what's his name? Jaye?" Perre finished.

Neyenn snorted and took a sip of his drink.

"Jaye isn't looking for anything serious and he wouldn't settle for Darlah. She's not flashy enough and she's too... collected," he told the twins honestly.

I scowled at Neyenn.

"What's that supposed to mean?" I demanded, ready to defend Dar.

He held up his hands in self-defense.

"Don't get mad, short stuff. I like Dar. I think she's awesome, but she's too normal, got all her crap together. She's not for someone like Jaye. It's a compliment, love, geesh," Neyenn grumbled and grunted.

"But would she be alright with us?" Perre asked.

"We're kind of a package deal," Marre added.

“I honestly don't know," I said slowly, thinking about it for a minute. "But she's not as closed minded about things as you would think," I confided.

They seemed to take in what I had just said and then excused themselves to refill their plates.

Man, those guys could put it away… must have hollow legs or something, I thought inwardly and snorted at my own joke.

"Guy could get a chunk taken out of himself for having an opinion around here," Neyenn muttered sulkily.

I reached down under the table and pinched his ass.

He yelped and glared at me.

I grinned at him and patted his cheek.

"Damn straight, ya big blue bastard."

 

 

Two for one

 

Darlah

 

 

"You're really good with her," Marre complimented from over my right shoulder.

I blushed a little self-consciously, remembering the state I was in the last time he had seen me.

"Thanks, Marre," I said shyly and smiled a little uncertainly at him.

"She's really an easy baby and she's so much fun. Ha, ha. Makes me want one," I laughed.

"Is that what you want, little one, a baby?" Perre, Marre's twin, said from my left side.

I turned to him in surprise and answered.

"Oh, well, I didn't mean... that is to say...what I meant was, erm," I spluttered, flustered by the sudden attention of both twins.

I stopped and took a deep, calming breath.

There was no reason to be flustered just because two gorgeous Cardanians had deigned to notice lil' ol' me.

"Someday, yes," I finally managed to get out and smiled at Perre.

"Whenever prince charming comes along and sweeps me off my feet, I guess," I said jokingly, but even I could hear the wistfulness in my voice.

I chuckled ruefully at my childish fairy tale sentiment.

They both grinned at me and stepped a little closer, the warmth from their bodies pressing against my sides.

Perre smiled sexily, his eyes twinkling at me as he leaned in really close to my ear, his hot breath fanning over my neck.

"And what if prince charming has an equally charming brother and you could have them both, all to yourself?" he murmured, his voice almost a purr, and I noticed then that it had taken on a husky quality, goose flesh breaking out all over my skin.

The idea had never honestly crossed my mind, but I have to say it has potential.

Was he referring to himself and Marre? Did it mean for one night? Or was he talking about possibly for forever?

Before I could respond though, Eilahna let out a wail, accompanied by a few more, equally as loud, and I excused myself to walk her back to her parents.

By the time I’d walked her back to Mol and Neyenn, she was passed out, the poor baby.

I stopped and chatted with a few people as I made my way to the dance floor again, but I didn't see Marre or Perre when I headed back towards where we had been talking a little bit ago.

The main room was a little over crowded now, so I scooted outside to the garden and decided to get a bit of fresh air.

It was beautiful out here.

The moons hung high and bright, a beautiful contrast in the dark night sky.

I just stood there for a moment, taking it all in, relaxing a bit and letting all the tension go out of me, like air escaping from a balloon.

 

 

Would you like fries with that?

 

Jaye

 

 

She's not mine, I know that, but why do I suddenly feel like ridding Marre and Perre of some of their extra limbs, just for talking to Darlah?

Because you know they're flirting, I answered myself and grimaced.

The little mouse was blushing at something they’d said and I scooted a little closer, trying to be inconspicuous in my snooping.

I couldn't help it!

I have to know what they're saying!

Damn, my chest is hurting again.

I rubbed absently at it and grimaced.

I need to get that checked out or something.

"What are you doing, Jaye, snooping?" Nona asked, being equally as snoopy, her eyes sparkling with equal parts laughter and curiosity.

Argh!

That woman has terrible timing.

Quick, Jaye, think! Get rid of the meddling old bat.

But how?

Oh, I know! I thought suddenly.

"You like to dance, don't you, Nona," I murmured slyly, snickering.

I know I’m about to be an asshole, but sometimes desperate times call for desperate measures.

Besides, I still owe her for spiking my drink with Rellian fire liquor a few years back. Haven’t lived that one down yet.

"Go dry hump Uncle Horven again or something, huh?"

I was referring to her getting soused up on Rellian fire liquor and dry humping Uncle Horven, her husband, all over the dance floor.

I shuddered in remembrance. She didn't like being reminded of it either.

It had happened at a house party my parents threw, the same day Mol found out she was pregnant with Eilahna, my little Ellie belly.

Mol won't admit it, but I know she's the one who spiked Nona's drink.

She must have dirt on Nona too, because Nona never got her back for it either.

The only thing that would keep my Auntie Nona from retribution would be if Mol had something on her.

Something good.

I should probably try to figure out what it was- you never know when something like that might come in handy.

I tuned back into my current situation and watched as Nona turned purple.

Good.

Maybe she’ll go away now, so I could continue my snooping.

I was wrong.

"Ow! That hurt! Watch my head, you old battle axe!" I yelled and tried to protect my cranium from her, most likely lead filled, purse as she clubbed me over the head with it.

"You have no respect for your elders, you little blue shit!" she ranted at me as she beat me with her purse.

"Ow! Watch it, woman!"

What does she have in there? Bricks?

After I escaped Auntie Nona's wrath, I couldn't see Darlah or the pinky twins anywhere.

It was like they had disappeared.

Anger filled me when I realized they could have gone off all together.

She wouldn't, I told myself. Or would she?

I mulled that idea over for a moment and an inexplicable rage filled me at the thought.

“I'll spank her ass!” I growled, unable to shake a sense of betrayal at what I perceived as a defection on her part.

I stalked out of the main room and stopped myself, before I went pounding on doors to find her and the two pink assholes, reality setting in.

She's not mine.

Get a grip man, she's not yours.

What the heck am I doing?

I've officially gone off the deep end, it seems.

All for what? A little mouse?

She's not really a mouse, though, is she, Jaye? I berated myself. She's a bit of a pistol when she's riled and she looks hot even when she's screeching at me like a banshee.

I chuckled as I remembered the day at her apartment, the thrown slotted spoon and the pasta fork.

I chuckled again and shook my head at my wayward thoughts.

I headed to the garden for a minute alone, maybe help me clear my head.

I reached it and paused as a sound caught my attention.

Relief filled me when I realized I'd found my little mouse and she was all alone.

She was sitting on a cement bench under a knotted tree, humming quietly to the muted strains of music coming from the reception.

"What are you doing out here all by yourself, mouse?" I asked, trying to sound casual.

"Nothing." She shrugged and made a noncommittal noise.

She didn't even turn around to acknowledge me or admire my dashing figure.

It irked me that she didn't even turn to look at me or seem even a teeny tiny bit happy to see me.

Hmph.

"Marre and Perre, little mouse? You aren't honestly thinking of taking up with them, are you?" I asked petulantly.

I know it's none of my business, and it's immature to pick at her, but who ever put the words 'Jaye' and 'mature' together in a complimentary sentence?

"You aren't right for them, you know?" I said, just to goad her.

It worked, of course.

She got up and walked the rest of the way to me.

Hah! A reaction.

Narrowing her eyes, she poked me in the chest.

Now that's more like it! She's so cute when she's pissed!

"What the hell is that supposed to mean, manwhore?" she demanded, her eyes sparking with anger.

I was getting hard just watching her.

Her cheeks were flushed, her eyes flashing, mouth pursed with indignation.

I leaned down until we were practically nose to nose.

"It would never work because you’re too... hhhmmm… too... What's the word I'm looking for here?" I hummed, pretending to think about it, tapping my finger on my chin, as if in thought. "You’re too… mooouuussyy. Mmm, yup. That’s it. Too mousy to handle it," I murmured, saying it slowly to punctuate each word.

"I could handle it!" she yelled and then remembered where we were and lowered her voice. "I could," she insisted as she glared at me huffily.

"Then you won't mind giving me a taste, right, little mouse?"

I gripped the back of her head, before she could say anything else, crushing my lips to hers.

 

 

Darlah

 

 

I was so caught off guard, I didn't react right away when he kissed me.

That was the last thing I would have expected from Jaye.

I squirmed against him for a few minutes, in a feeble attempt to get him to release me, but then he grabbed my rump with his free hand and squeezed.

His squeeze elicited a squeak from me and he took that open mouthed opportunity to stroke his tongue inside my mouth.

The feeling of his tongue stroking coaxingly against mine had me going weak at the knees.

After a few minutes, I popped out of my tongue induced stupor and bit down, causing him to yelp and release me.

"Whah dah hehw, Daw! Dah fwiggin hurr! Woo bih me! Awen!" he seethed, glaring at me and rubbing his tongue.

He looked absurd.

He also looked really, really, pissed and seeing as to how he had kissed me, I got to be pissed off too.

"Don't you Dar me! You... you... manwhore! I'm not some tart you can play with and toss away! Don't like being bitten, asshole?!! Don't play with mice!" I hissed at him.

"And I am not a 'chew toy'! You evil temptress!" he hissed right back at me.

We stood there for a minute in a sort of standoff, or glaring showdown, neither one willing to relent to the other.

We would have put all those old westerns to shame, I imagine.

But then, and I don't know who moved first, or if it was a simultaneous thing, we grabbed each other and mashed our mouths together, kissing each other for all we were worth.

It was crazy, unplanned, and terribly uncoordinated, but man was it sexy as hell.

I couldn't get enough of him, my hands were everywhere, pulling at his shirt, tugging at his hair, running over his tight little blue ass in those slacks.

Anything to get us closer to my ultimate goal.

Jaye was mirroring my actions, then he was gripping my bottom and lifting me up, as if I was weightless- which I'm not afraid to say that I'm far from- rubbing me against him, right where I wanted him most.

I was suddenly thankful I wore a skirt today.

Jaye moved swiftly, like he wasn't carrying a very horny, plump mouse in his arms and leaned my back against the tree, so he could have the use of both hands.

He proceeded to tug at the buttons on my blouse desperately, gentling his frantic touch when they wouldn't budge.

Once he got himself together, he deftly unbuttoned my blouse and undid the front enclosure to my bra, in record time.

He grinned at me and licked his lips.

"Dar, honey, they're perfect," he growled huskily as he cupped both of my breasts in his hands.

He squeezed them a little, running his thumbs over them repeatedly.

I sucked in a breath as the rough texture of his fingertips abraded my sensitive nipples.

He grinned at me lasciviously.

"I love a good rack, honey, but these…" He grinned, pushing them together, running his tongue along the seam. "These are perfect," he purred and I could feel myself melting into a warm puddle of goo.

"I've always fancied myself a breast man," he continued thoughtfully, then swooped down and took a nipple into his mouth, suckling hard and swirling his tongue back and forth over the hardened, throbbing bud.

I squeaked at the sensation and started squirming against him again.

My squirming was rubbing us in all the right places and I reached down between our bodies to let manwhore jr. out to play.

I didn’t care about anything else right now but getting him inside of me.

I unzipped his pants carefully- don't want to damage the merchandise, you know- and reached inside for my prize.

He moaned when I rubbed my hand along his thickened member, pausing at the head to slowly circle the tip.

"This all for me, manwhore?" I whispered huskily and licked the tip of his pointy blue ear, nibbling a little at it when he shivered.

"Oh, yeah, all for you, little mouse. Wanna play with it?" He chuckled as he thrust himself into my eager hands.

He abandoned my breasts- who, if they could talk, would have cried out at the loss- hitched my skirt up a little higher and rubbed at my sweet spot through my panties.

I should have worn the sexy ones today, I chastised myself, but that thought was quickly forgotten in the maelstrom we were creating.

He slipped the crotch of my panties aside and inserted one of his thick, long fingers, slowly running the knuckle of another finger erotically against my clit as he did so.

I gasped and tried to push down on his hand, tried to rub against his knuckle, anything to get more of that spark and fire he makes me feel.

But no, the stubborn Rellian kept his fingers in place, staring at me intently, watching my reactions, seeing how desperately I wanted him.

"You're so wet, mouse, soaking my fingers," he murmured, leaning in and licking the shell of my ear.

"Need more, honey?" he whispered and rubbed his knuckle against me again, his index finger still moving slowly, erotically, inside me.

I whimpered and nodded my head 'yes'.

"Say it, mouse. Tell me," he chuckled darkly, probably playing with me a little, but I was too lost in the moment to care.

I ran my, to this point, neglectful hand up and down his length, pausing to circle the head as I went.

He gasped and groaned.

I cupped his balls with my other hand and squeezed a little-not too much, but just enough pressure to cause pleasure, not pain- and he groaned, thrusting into my hand lustily.

"Truce, I give in... whatever you call it... you win. I surrender," he babbled desperately, and I smiled to myself in satisfaction, knowing that it was me that’d done that to him.

It's a heady feeling, to know I made him squirm for me like that too, made him want me with the same matching desperation.

He pushed my hands away from him and moaned, touching our foreheads together, breathing heavily, our choppy breaths the only sound in the garden.

"I want you so bad, Dar, I don't know how long I'm going to last if we don't hurry! I feel like I'm going to explode!"

Not wanting to waste another moment, I unbuckled his pants and 'released the beast', and oh, my, was it a beast.

Thick and long with veins running along the top and the bottom, a drop of pre-cum glistening from the thickened blue tip.

I licked my lips impatiently at the thought of giving it a good lick and he nipped my shoulder, groaning to himself at the hungry expression on my face.

"Evil temptress," he growled. "You can lick me all you want later. Much... much... later," he murmured against my neck as he bit down playfully, kissing and licking along my nape to soothe the mark he’d left behind.

He pulled the crotch of my panties aside a little more and lined us up, ready to enter me.

I felt a fresh wave of wetness wash over me in anticipation.

"Dar? Honey, you out there?" I heard a voice call out from the entrance to the garden.

It was like someone had just dumped a bucket of ice water all over me, extinguishing the moment, extinguishing me.

"Oh, my god!" I hissed, horrified. "Release me, Jaye! Quick! Let me down! Hurry!" I whispered urgently, trying to keep my voice low so I didn’t alert the unexpected arrival to our current location.

Jaye just stood there, stock still.

He looked like he was debating on whether or not to just say 'screw it' and finish what we had started or release me like I’d asked.

I bopped him on the nose and he let go of me abruptly to grip his injured beak.

"Dar!" he whispered fiercely.

I ignored him and tugged at my close frantically.

"What the hell, woman! That hurt, damn it. I think you broke it," he whined as he examined his, so not broken, nose.

I rolled my eyes as I quickly put myself to rights.

Shirt all buttoned up, I straightened my skirt with still shaking fingers and stepped out from behind the tree.

Trying to act as natural as possible, I hurried over to my father, of whom I didn't even know was invited to the wedding.

"Hi, Daddy!" I said cheerfully as he gave me a quick hug and a kiss on the forehead.

He took in my face and a frown marred his features.

"You okay, pumpkin?" he asked, concern written all over his face.

"You look flushed," he worried as he put the back of his hand against my red apple cheeks.

I coughed to cover up the snicker coming from behind the tree.

"You know, maybe I'm coming down with something. I don't know what's been getting into me lately. I haven't been feeling quite like myself," I said as we walked back into the main room.

"You work too hard, pumpkin, take a day off, huh? And have a day of rest? Just for you, you know?" he said a little helplessly, patting my hand as a sad look entered his eyes and I just knew what was coming next.

"Your mama, if she was still here, would have known what to say, what to do. I always feel out of my element with you, baby doll. I feel like I failed you somehow, was too hard on you, didn’t handle anything the right way after she died," he confessed and grimaced. "I'm glad you have a good job. You know I couldn't be more happy for you, Dar, but you work too hard and never take anything for yourself." He smiled down at me and squeezed my shoulder. "If I wasn't so darn proud of you, I'd kick myself for forgetting to teach you to not only work hard, but have fun too," he said ruefully.

He nudged me a little and I looked up at him.

"Have something for you, pumpkin, don't be like dear old dad and wait ‘til it's too late to appreciate the good things in life, eh?"

"Daddy, you are not old!" I laughed, smirking at him.

I continued, keeping it up, because I knew it would make him laugh.

"Real men, or so I’m told, are supposed to be like a fine wine- they just get better with age." I giggled and he barked out a laugh. "And you always did right by me, so, thank you and I love you, ya silly old man."

He shook his head at me and gave me a bear hug, still chuckling about the wine comment.

We laughed and chatted the rest of the night, and if a certain blue oaf kept entering my thoughts, I pushed them aside.

Obviously, that part of the evening was blown and I didn't think Jaye would be too keen on a second attempt at 'playing with mice'.

I smiled at my own little pun and sipped my drink, pretending to be listening to the conversation that was going on around me.

 

 

Tossing your cookies?

 

Jaye

 

 

If I didn't know better, I would think someone was out to punish me! Karma or something, for all of my 'dramatic ass-ness' throughout the years.

It was like someone said, 'Here, Jaye, have the hottest sexual encounter you've ever had in your life', with a mouse, of all things, and then they said, 'Ha ha, just kidding, asshole! So, Suck It!'

I grimaced and shifted on my feet, shuffling around slightly from side to side, looking for relief.

I was in pain, only one kind of relief I wanted, and everyone was hogging her. My already blue balls were going to have 'blue balls' and my cock was hard enough I could probably pound nails with it!

That little mouse really is an evil temptress! I thought to myself and my eyes narrowed as I watched her laughing at whatever she and Mol were chatting about.

It made me want to spank her, seeing her all calm and collected, while I felt like a cat in heat.

This is all her fault, I thought to myself irrationally. If she hadn't been tempting to those two pink twin bastards, I never would have felt jealous and thus compelled to maul her to stake my claim.

Yes, just keep telling yourself that, Jaye, and maybe someday, in say… a hundred years? You might just believe it, I chastised myself, cursing my inner voice.

"Jaye, hun?" Mama called from a few feet behind me, pulling me from my thoughts.

I turned and looked at her.

"Yeah, Mama?" I asked a little distractedly, sneaking another glance at Dar.

"Could you be a dear and drive Magenta home? She's not feeling quite the thing tonight. Yes?"

I looked over at Mags, who was looking a little green around the gills.

"Sure thing, Mama." I nodded and held out my arm in a ladies first gesture to Mags.

"Come on, squirt, I'll get you home," I teased, smiling at her in sympathy, gently putting my hand on her back to guide her to my hovie.

This night did not turn out at all like anything I could or would have imagined.

Could it get any worse?

 

 

Special Delivery

 

Darlah

 

 

I walked in to my apartment and set my things down on the kitchen table. I kicked off my shoes and plopped down on my couch.

I felt numb.

Yep, numb, I thought and sighed.

That was the only way to describe how I'm feeling at the moment.

It was like that time when I was ten and someone had run over my dog, Muffin, in their hovie.

I felt hurt, upset, heartbroken, even. Which was silly, of course.

What Jaye and I did in the garden had nothing to do with his heart, apparently- silly me. He made that very apparent when he left with another woman. And I'm doubly pissed at him because I can't be mad at Magenta.

She's such a nice person, a real sweat pea, and it makes me want to strangle him for playing us, playing me, like that.

He could have, at least, had the decency to sneak out the back with her or something.

I don't know... hop the wall?

Something, anything but what he did.

He’d walked right out of there, in front of everyone, his hand on the small of her back, a sweet expression on his face as he talked to her in low whispered tones.

My eyes started to sting as I remembered the whole scene, playing it out in my mind.

I wiped at them quickly.

Damn allergies!! I told myself, completely in denial.

I gave myself a little pep talk then, about how he really wasn't worth it and they always say you have to kiss a few toads to find your prince.

I smiled a little at the thought as I readied for bed.

And who knows, maybe my prince charming really is out there somewhere waiting for me.

He could be just around the corner and one small nudge from fate is all I need to meet him.

And maybe, I smiled wickedly to myself, maybe he does have a charming twin brother as well- the two of them, charming as sin, all for me.

I smiled at the thought as I snuggled down into my covers and drifted off to sleep.

Dreams of blue, fire breathing dragons and pink, chain mailed knights floated around in my imagination as I entered my REM cycle.

 

****

 

Sometime later and I have no idea how long, I woke up, startled out of my dreams by a terrible pounding noise.

It was emanating from somewhere in the house, it seemed.

I got up quickly and went in search of the sound.

My bare feet were cold against my hardwood floors and I shivered a little.

It was the front door, I realized when I reached the living room.

I grabbed the closest weapon nearest me, which happened to be an umbrella. I looked at it and shrugged, deciding it would have to do.

I really need to get a baseball bat and some mace, I thought to myself. And maybe a whistle.

Isn't that what they recommend for single women to do? Carry a whistle?

Oh, just listen to yourself, Dar, talking to yourself about mace and whistles when there's a crazy person pounding on your door.

If they didn't stop soon, they were going to take the damn door off of its hinges.

I slid quietly towards the door, leaning in to look out through the peep hole.

I stood there for a minute, stunned at what I found.

Jaye was standing outside my door at... I glanced at the clock on the hall table. At three o clock in the morning!

I hurried and unlocked the door.

Something must have happened, something terrible. Was it Mol or the baby?!

I quickly opened the door and pulled him inside.

He wasn't expecting it though, so my quick tug sent him sprawling and sliding across my well waxed floor.

I closed the door and locked it back up.

I rushed over to him on the floor, rolling him over so he was lying on his back as I gripped his shoulders and shook him frantically.

"What happened, Jaye?! Is everyone okay? Where are they? Who is it? What hospital?!!!" I asked worriedly, rambling desperately.

Jaye came out of his floor sliding slump and blinked at me in confusion.

"Who 'de what e' what, what?" he asked and I started feeling around on his head for a lump.

Maybe he’s concussed?

Great, now I'll never get any straight answers out of him!

I pulled his head so we were eye to eye.

"Who was hurt, Jaye?" I demanded as calmly as I could, praying it wasn’t anything terribly bad.

"Me," he said hoarsely and then glared up at me.

"You?" I barked incredulously, giving him a cursory glance for injuries and finding none.

"If you're hurt, go to the hospital. Why would you come here?" I frowned, confused, still leaning over him.

He lunged up and grabbed me then, unexpectedly, rolling us so our positions were reversed, me on bottom and him towering over me.

"Because," he muttered, rubbing his erection along the juncture of my thigh.

I gasped out at the sudden intimate contact.

"I need you to fix it, you evil little temptress. Fix this," he growled out and captured my lips, before I could respond, his tongue plunging into my mouth unceremoniously to tangle with mine.

I moaned and he pressed himself harder against me, putting one leg between my still closed thighs in an attempt to get me to open them up.

His swift exit with Magenta popped into my mind and I pushed at him, clamping my legs harder together to prevent him from any more advances in his foray to my sweet pot.

"Don't tease, mouse, I'm dying here," he grumbled impatiently and tried to kiss me again, but I turned my head away, still gasping for breath from his onslaught.

Undeterred, he started nibbling his way down my throat feverishly, like he couldn't get enough of me soon enough.

"Come on, honey, I'm desperate here!" he kept on, leaning back a little to grin at me boyishly.

I mustered all of my strength and shoved up with my pelvis, dumping him on his 'desperate' ass.

"You're desperate?! Desperate! That's why you're here? What happened? Magenta didn't feel like putting out, so you decided to try the mouse!" I screeched, my voice so distressed and high pitched it caused me to sound exactly like my much loathed, newly minted nick name- I sounded kinda like a mouse.

"Magenta? What does she have to do with anything?" he blurted, flustered, looking adorably confused.

He truly looked puzzled, but it could all be an act, I warned myself. Who knows.

"I saw you leaving with her, and after you and I... and I thought... and then you... Well, none of that matters anymore! So, just... get out, you... you... manwhore!! Get out! Get out NOW!"

He didn’t move, looking a little stunned by my outburst, and I had a hunch he wasn’t going to budge right now, so I got up and ran from the room, racing towards my bedroom.

I'll lock myself in there until he leaves, I told myself vehemently.

I wasn't fast enough though.

He grabbed me around the waist and slung me up into his arms in one quick motion, one arm under my knees, the other under my shoulder blades.

I ended up getting a little disoriented from my impromptu flight.

That man is pretty fast for such a big guy.

I was even more discombobulated when the big blue oaf dumped me on the couch, causing me to bounce up and land on the cushions with a 'thump' and an 'oomph' as my brain was rattled and the air in my lungs, simultaneously, knocked out of me.

He studied me for a minute, his frown turning thoughtful as he gazed at me steadily.

I felt two inches tall as I laid there, glaring at him dizzily.

A gleam entered his eyes, like a light bulb had gone off in that pea sized brain of his and he gave me a slow sexy grin that made me melt, despite my agitation with him.

Too sexy for his own damn good, I grumbled to myself. And what the hell is he grinning about?!

"You're jealous!" he exclaimed excitedly, like a kid at Christmas, and I felt my face heating with embarrassment.

Caught on to that, did he?

"You think I went off to bump uglies with Mags and now you're jealous! Ha! Ha! You are so cute when you’re jealous!" he proclaimed happily.

He grabbed me up and kissed the hell out of me, still managing to chuckle at my expense the whole time.

"You mean, you didn't leave with Magenta to... to... you know?" I asked quietly.

"To fuck?" he stated bluntly, and I could feel myself flinching at the crudely put phrase.

I nodded my head instead of answering him.

"No. I didn't," he admitted.

The look on his face was so serious and sincere, I knew he wasn’t pulling my leg.

"Mama asked me to take Mags home because she was feeling ill, so I did." He shrugged, still smiling at me.

He picked me up and set me on his lap, situating me so my legs were straddling him, my nightgown up around my waist, exposing my pale thighs.

"Now, quit talking and please me, mouse!" he demanded and pulled me towards him, his hands planted firmly on my bottom, rubbing us sensuously against each other.

I guess I didn't hop on 'it' or him fast enough, because he reached his hand back and slapped my ass hard.

"Ow! You conceited blue oaf! Watch it!" I snapped, smacking his shoulder.

It didn't really hurt all that bad and when he rubbed where he'd smacked me, I felt a warm tingling in my body, from the spot where he rubbed all the way to my core.

I wiggled out of his tight embrace and pushed away from him, sitting down on the floor, leaning up enough to put my hands on his pants to undo them.

"Hell, yeah, now we're talking!" Jaye shot up and unbuttoned his pants, shoving them, underwear and all, all the way down past his legs to pool at his ankles.

He sat back down, waiting for me to make my next move.

He was very happy to see me if his swollen friend was any indication.

I licked my lips and leaned forward to lick him a little.

"Wait!" Jaye cried out hoarsely and shoved his hands in front of me, cupping his balls and penis, cradling them protectively.

"No biting, little mouse," he barked, warning me sternly.

I glanced up at him and tried to look disappointed.

"Not even a little nibble?" I asked curiously, a hint of hope in my voice, switching the tables on him for once, my eyes wide, in as innocent as an expression as I could manage under the circumstances.

"No! No nibbling, woman! Erm...well, only if it’s a nice nibble.” He cleared his throat nervously, his Adam's apple bobbing as he swallowed hard and cleared his throat again.

"Don't worry, manwhore, I'll be nice to Jr.," I promised, winking at him and pushing his hands away.

He looked so unsure all of the sudden that it was almost comical.

I leaned forward and licked the pre-cum off the tip of his cock, swirling my tongue around in a circular motion, making sure I caught it all.

I pulled him all the way into my mouth suddenly, as far as I could take him, and he jerked and moaned, gripping my hair tightly.

"Huh... oh... aaahh... oh, Dar.." he mumbled, babbling incoherently as I took him into my mouth repeatedly, changing the angle and suction, so each time was different, each slide of his member and each glide of my tongue hitting a different way than the time before.

"Ungg!" he yelped as I took him as far back into my throat as I could and started making swallowing motions with my throat muscles.

"I'm going to... Oh... Uh... I'm... Uh... you're gonna... aaahh..." he moaned restlessly as he came down the back of my throat.

I continued to suck and kiss him until he started to soften, then released him with a wet pop, licking my lips like the cat who just got the cream.

I looked up at Jaye and examined the picture he presented.

He was breathing heavily, his chest rising and falling erratically, head leaning back on the couch.

His lips were puffy from our kisses, eyes closed, as if in sleep, and he had a contended grin on his face.

We sat there for a minute, him stroking my hair absently as I doodled little swirls through the hair on his thighs.

"Wow, mouse, I don't think I can move. You killed me," he chuckled and I laughed out loud, untangling his fingers from my hair to pull back a little.

I got up, moving away from him after a moment and went to pick up the few things we’d scattered throughout the room in our haste.

I bent over to pick up his shoe, that had somehow ended up near the end table by the wall and Jaye snuck up behind me, clamping his hands over mine so I couldn't move.

"Does this position bring back any memories, little mouse?" he teased, rubbing his face up and down the side of my neck, stopping to kiss and nibble ever so often.

"You didn't think I was going to leave you all high and dry, did you, Dar?" he murmured seductively.

He switched my wrists to one hand and used his now free hand to reach around me and rub my clit through my underwear in slow teasing circles.

I squirmed against him, trying to get him to go a little faster.

"Patience, little temptress, it's my turn now, remember?" he whispered and swirled his tongue around the shell of my ear, stopping to nibble and suck on my earlobe.

I shivered, goose bumps breaking out all over my exposed skin.

He paused in his ministrations to turn me and shove me over the end of the arm of the couch.

Before I could do anything, he pushed on my back and pinned me down with his hand on my back, now face down over it.

"Oh, honey, you look so hot like this. If you hadn't just blown both of my barrels I would take advantage of it, of this," he said, cupping an ass cheek in each hand.

He tugged then, pulling my underwear down until it dropped to my ankles and I stepped out of them.

He pushed my nightgown up and off my shoulders, leaving me naked for his perusal.

He sighed sadly, rubbing my bottom absently as he spoke.

"But alas, I'm not quite there yet, little mouse. I need a few minutes to recover still.”

"Take advantage of what? My position or my ass?" I asked bluntly. "Because if you're thinking I'm going to let you do that! You can think again, buddy!"

He snorted and I could feel his hand running along my crease, down to my wet folds, where he slid his fingers through my juices a few times, getting his digits all slicked up.

"What do you think the pinky twins were going to do with you? I can tell you right now it wasn't knitting sweaters,” he murmured huskily, nipping at my shoulder and sucking on my neck for a minute.

So going to have a hickey in the morning, but it feels so good I’m keeping my trap shut.

“They wanted you here," he purred, rubbing my slit with his fingers.

"And here," he explained, demonstrating by rubbing his slicked up digits along my rosette, running his fingers over it lightly and then circling around it slowly, like a tease.

I tensed up all over and he stopped, leaning over me, using his other hand to rub my clit and slit again.

"Don't worry, Dar, I won't do anything you don't want me to. I'm not trying to scare you, I want to make you feel good, honey," he purred at me, placing sweet kisses along my back, shoulders and neck.

I relaxed again and he pulled back, kneeling behind me.

He spread my legs a little farther apart and then licked along my clit and into my folds.

He was sucking and kissing me enthusiastically, like I was cake and he'd been without sweets for a year, like he was really enjoying himself.

I was close and I knew he could tell because he picked up his pace, concentrating on tonguing my clit as two of his digits slipped slickly in and out of me.

I came right then, my muscles clamping down tightly on his fingers.

I didn't even realize it, but I was calling out his name over and over breathlessly, like a chant.

Even after I came, he didn't stop, just continued giving my clit attention, every lick and suck sending me shaking and spasming all over again from my still sensitive skin.

He eventually stopped and I slumped over the arm of the couch, breathing heavily, gasping a little desperately, trying to regulate my heartbeat.

A loud 'smack' cracked throughout the room and I jumped and squeaked in surprise.

"Come on, mouse, I'm tired." Jaye smacked my ass again and headed toward my bedroom.

"Jayevellan Harvick!" I shrieked and I could hear his laughter trailing behind him as he went down the hall.

"What an ass!" I grumbled aloud to myself.

"Why, thank you, little mouse, I work out," he called from my room.

I looked down and saw his pants in a heap and realized he had walked bare assed into my bedroom.

I started giggling about it and didn't stop until he came back into the living room, still bare assed, and scooped me up into his arms, carting me with him into my room.

"Really!" he huffed in faux exasperation. "Must I do everything by myself?!"

 

 

Wake Up Call

 

Jaye

 

 

"Mmmm," I murmured sleepily and reached over to tug Darlah up against me -the little temptress must have rolled over at some point- but my hand hit empty space.

What the heck?

I felt around until I reached the edge of the bed.

No Dar.

I opened my eyes and peered at the clock.

It was seven in the morning.

"Too early," I moaned into a ‘mouse’ scented pillow.

I rolled over and got out of bed to search for my wayward bed partner.

I entered the kitchen, where a fully dressed Darlah was finishing up what looked like pancakes.

Yum!

I rubbed my hands together in anticipation.

I walked up behind her and slid my hands over her generously curvy hips, admiring her full figure.

I rested my chin on her shoulder and nibbled her earlobe.

"Feed me," I mumbled as I nibbled my way down her neck.

"I'm sorry, I didn't quite hear you? Could you repeat that?" she ordered in her best schoolmarm voice.

I bit a little at her shoulder and she jumped, nudging me to knock it off.

I continued picking and teasing at her and she tried to hit me with the pancake spatula over her shoulder, blindly aiming in my general direction.

I dodged it, laughing like a hyena as she tried to push me away from her by sticking her bottom out and bumping me with it.

I smacked her rump hard, the 'crack' echoing in the kitchen.

"Ow!" she shrieked and swiveled around to face me.

Her look of anger swiftly turned to shock when she took stock of me.

"Jaye! What are you doing? Put some friggin' pants on!" she exclaimed, taking in my body in all of its blue, naked glory.

I snorted, ignoring her and reached over to snag her cup of grevnel juice off the counter, downing it in one long gulp.

I set the cup back down next to her and reached over her to snag a pancake off the platter.

I ate it plain and moaned as the flavors hit my taste buds.

"These are so good, mouse," I moaned between bites. "What kind of pancakes are these?"

"Pumpkin," she replied absently, staring at me fixedly as I stood butt naked in her kitchen, eating her pancakes.

Now that's more like it.

If walking around naked would get me noticed by my prudish mouse, then that's a sacrifice I'm willing to make.

I wanted to preen- and maybe I will, I thought, feeling inspired.

I took her now empty glass of juice and sauntered over to the fridge, laying it on extra thick for my audience of one.

As I passed her, she shook her head at my antics.

"I'm afraid to ask, but are you always this, uh, animated, Jaye?"

"Maybe." I winked and waggled my eyebrows at her.

"I can't think when you’re standing there all, erm, naked- so go put clothes on," she blurted, not looking at me, waving her fingers in my general direction.

"You really are a prude, aren't you, little mouse," I said, chuckling.

Her lips pursed in irritation, but she didn't take the bait.

"What's the matter, mouse, never seen a naked man before?"

She turned bright red at my tease and I've never seen a lovelier shade of crimson.

"Take your fill, mouse." I grinned and raised my arms wide, slowly doing a circle in her kitchen.

As I turned around to face her, I was suddenly hit in the face with a fly by pancake.

 

 

Darlah

 

 

"I'm not a prude, you manwhore! I just don't let it all hang out where I make my meals, alright," I huffed, annoyed at his ribbing.

I am not a prude!

"You pelted me with a hot, hotcake, you crazy woman! Are you trying to wound me?" he yelled dramatically, waving the pancake at me as he ranted.

I think he got side tracked though, when he sniffed the pancake, shrugged and took a bite.

I laughed at the absurdity of it all.

It turned into outright guffaws and my stomach hurt from all the laughing.

I was still hooting with laughter when he marched up to me, until we were nose to nose, and demanded, "You mocking me, temptress?"

"Yes," I admitted and took off as fast as my feet would carry me.

I shrieked as he chased me around the house naked.

I burned that batch of pancakes, but the bottomless pit that is Jaye, even ate those too.

 

****

 

"You gonna put pants on anytime soon, blue butt'?" I asked hopefully.

"Nope," he said happily as he sat on my couch with a plate of homemade cookies in his lap, feet on my coffee table and my remote in his hand.

Hhhmm. Isn't this what I was worried about him doing in the first place if he got too comfortable?

Of course, when I pictured this scenario, I never imagined he would be naked.

"Move over, blue butt." I plopped down on the couch next to him.

I glanced at him again.

"I need to invest in a couch cover," I muttered and he chuckled, shoving another cookie into his mouth.

"No need to play coy, mouse, I know you like what you see," he teased with an eyebrow wiggle and a wink.

I laughed, but didn't respond.

Of course I enjoy seeing all that blue male perfection, but I'm not going to let 'super ego' over there know it.

His head is inflated enough as it is.

He slung his arm around me and pulled me in close for a snuggle, cookie plate still in his lap.

He kissed my forehead and I couldn't help but think, this is nice.

"Oops, got chocolate chip on you, those puppies are still hot." Jaye chuckled, referring to the cookies I had just baked for us to munch on.

"If you had waited until they had cooled a little like I... Ack! Jaye!" I shrieked as Jaye leaned forward and licked the chocolate off of my forehead.

"Mmm, tastes even better on you, little mouse," he murmured hungrily, going in for another lick.

I tried to dodge him, but he was too quick.

He pinned me to the couch and licked me from jaw to forehead.

"Jaye! Quit it! Ah! No, no! Don't you... dare!" I squeaked as he smooshed a gooey cookie into my cleavage.

"Don't worry, honey." He grinned mischievously. "I'm a trained professional."

He smirked, pulling the top of my shirt down a little more.

"Everything is under control," he assured me, affecting a serious tone.

I giggled like a loon as he made his first sweep.

"Done this a lot have you, manwhore?" I couldn't help but ask.

"Never seen any beauties as grand as these canyons," he growled, lifting my breasts up and licking the tops of them through the exposed skin at the opening of my top.

I gasped and grabbed at his hair, lacing my fingers through the thick blue mass, pulling him down towards me a little more.

"Mmm, you make me wild, mouse, like I want to claw your clothes off," he murmured, pulling up enough to study me through slumberous, passion filled eyes.

He fisted my shirt in his hands and started to pull at it.

A terrible tearing sound wrenched through the room and, before I could say anything about it, his lips descended on mine, fierce and possessive.

I nipped hard at his lips, causing him to jerk a little and I softened it with a kiss and a lick to the seam of his mouth.

He growled encouragingly and started rubbing himself against me, almost like a cat, marking what's his.

He reared up and started tugging at my pants frantically.

"Hold on there, blue butt, you’re gonna ri..." 'rrriiip' and there went my jeans. "them," I muttered, finishing off my now moot point.

Not that Jaye was listening anyways, he was too busy yanking my ripped pants off and tugging my underwear with them.

He tossed them behind him and leaned down, lining up our bodies.

I ran my hands along his face and down his shoulders, taking him all in, enjoying the view.

"I love when you look at me like that, temptress, all hot and bothered. You’re a fiery little thing, mouse," he murmured, rubbing his face against my nape, nipping at my neck and shoulders.

He slid his leg between mine and I spread them wide, gasping when he put his full weight down on me, lining us up.

He rubbed the head of his erection at my entrance, slicking through my already wet folds, sliding up and down through them, lubing himself up.

I pushed up a little to try and get him to enter me, but he retreated, groaning and pumping against me in a tease that soon had me writhing under him.

"Please... Jaye, I need...I need..." I begged between whimpers.

"You need what, little mouse? Tell me?" he chuckled as he reached down between us to swirl his finger around my clit, alternating between rubbing me hard and fast, and soft and slow.

I grabbed his ass and yanked him towards me, throwing him off balance, and he started to topple sideways off the couch.

He grabbed me and yanked me against him, taking me down with him.

He landed flat on his back with me on top and I jerked, gaping at him, giving him an ‘are you kidding me’ look.

"Hey, I'm not the one who got too frisky and started trying to buck me off like I'm a Deldrien bronc rider." He snorted and I gave him a dirty look.

"Don't look at me like that, mouse," he laughed. "If I'm going to go down, I'm taking you with me," he joked, giving my hips a squeeze.

I sat up and straddled him, sliding myself up and down, teasing the head of his cock, but never anything more, just a tease.

Let's see how he likes being teased, I thought to myself.

I licked my way down his torso, stopping to bite at his nipples and lick the indentations in his abdominals.

I reached the juncture of his thighs and decided to bypass Jaye's happy place, taking his testicles into my mouth instead, gently rolling my tongue over each one.

An idea came to me at that moment and maybe it's mean of me, or maybe it's my naughty streak, but I licked my finger, getting it good and wet and goosed him, at the same time I took his member into my mouth and swallowed as much as I could.

"Aawww... Ack! Darlah Mae!" he yelped and jumped up in shock.

He pushed at my shoulders until I released his penis with a wet pop and he pulled me up his body.

He rolled us until he was on top and pinned me, grabbing my hands and locking them together in one of his.

"Tsk, tsk, naughty mouse," he purred, grinning at me lasciviously.

I wiggled, trying to get my hands free, and he gave me a sexy smile as he rubbed himself against me.

"You want to play, mouse? I'll give you something to play with, honey."

I could feel him hot and hard against my core as he started to enter me.

It was slow going at first.

Jaye is the biggest, erm, lover I've ever had and I had to wonder, at the halfway point, if this was going to work.

"Jesus, Dar, it feels like you’re squeezing my dick." He growled, pausing to let me adjust to his size.

"So eloquent of you, Jayevellan," I giggled, trying to relax enough so my body could accommodate him.

"Think I'm funny, huh? I must be doing something wrong if you’re still capable of speech," he growled and started to pull out, pushing back into me, harder this time.

He gripped my hips and put my legs on his shoulders, keeping us joined.

He started pounding into me, hard, hot and fast.

I pulled him closer, leaning him towards me, bringing him right up against me, inside of me where I needed him most.

I became frantic, pushing up against him and begging incoherently.

He sped up even more and started pounding into me even harder, ruthlessly plowing into me.

He found that special spot inside of me and when he hit it just right I shattered, my muscles convulsing around him, milking him as I came hard, my body shaking all over from the force of it.

He continued to pound into me, leaning far enough forward that my legs were now by my head.

Sweat was glistening off of Jaye’s beautiful blue skin as he moaned my name over and over, his body moving ruthlessly towards his own climax.

I leaned up enough to bite at his neck, licking and nibbling at the sensitive spot between his neck and shoulder, causing gooseflesh to break out all over his skin.

I tightened my kegel muscles then, lengthening my own orgasm, causing another wave of muscle spasms to wrack me as Jaye followed me over, groaning deeply as my body’s internal muscles contracted around him rhythmically as he came.

He kept pumping into me, until he stopped jerking inside of me and slumped against me in exhaustion when he'd finished.

We laid there panting, in companionable silence, and the only coherent thought I had at the moment was, that was awesome.

 

 

Jaye

 

 

"Jaye?"

"Hhhmm," I mumbled from my new favorite spot- on top of my little mouse.

"Not that I'm not fond of this position or anything, but let go of my legs, blue butt, they're going numb," Dar giggled.

"Oh," I mumbled and tried to sit up a little more.

I don't know how I didn't notice it at first, but my sweet little mouse is stuck to me, or should I say, I'm stuck to her? Erm, I mean, I’m stuck in her.

I wonder how she feels about a short engagement, I mused.

I should probably be freaked out or something, about finding my soul mate, but I'm not. I'm actually surprisingly content with fate’s choice for my bride.

My little mouse is quite delightful, I’ve discovered recently, and upon reflection, I realize I’ve grown very fond of her these last few weeks.

For a Rellian, we all have that one special person, the yin to our yang, a destined mate or 'soul mate'.

The one being who compliments you physically and mentally and when they consummate the relationship, the male swells and gets lodged inside the female, helping to ensure conception.

So, now I'm married and could possibly have gotten Dar pregnant, and it feels... right- like everything is the way it should be- like she was made for me.

Great! Now I sound like a sap!

Next thing you know, I'll be painting my nails and watching the women's channel with Mama and Auntie Nona.

I smirked at the thought.

There's one thing I didn't really take into consideration though- Darlah.

How would she take the news?

She'll probably be upset to find out she had the choice taken away from her, I reflected after a moment and my smile fell.

Rellian law states that when a male identifies his mate and they consummate their union, it's a mated union.

The human version of marriage.

She might reject me! I panicked. She might fight it, like Mol did with Neyenn.

Think, Jaye! Your future with this woman depends on how you handle things.

I racked my brain for a solution and came up blank.

I won't tell her, I decided. I can just court her and let her think she chose me. Either way, it's us, ‘til death do us part.

The details to all that are inconsequential, right?

"Umm, Jaye? Hello? Snap out of it," Dar said suddenly, pulling me out of my thoughts.

"Hey, you ok?" she asked carefully, her voice low, looking anxious, her teeth worrying her bottom lip.

I smiled down at her and kissed her nose, rubbing my face along her cheek, pretending to purr at her.

"Jaye, you nut!" she laughed happily. "What am I going to do with you, manwhore?" She sighed, feigning annoyance, but I knew better.

"Tame me, of course!" I exclaimed and started what would end up being emphatically referred to as 'round two'.

 

 

One Month Later

 

 

Give it to me straight

 

Molilah

 

 

"Jaye's been acting funny lately," Dar confided in me.

We were having a girl’s day out, chatting and having lunch at this really cool Old Earth themed restaurant.

Everything was made to look like the nineteen fifties.

Kudos to Dar on the find.

"What do you mean? Because, you know, normal for Jaye is well, Jaye... I don't think he has a 'normal'," I admitted and laughed.

"No, I mean, not even normal for Jaye," she said restlessly, pushing her glasses up the bridge of her nose, a frown creasing her brow.

"When did he start acting different?" I asked, wondering if it was just her worrying or if Jaye was pulling away because he was tiring of Dar.

He may be my 'bestest friend ever' and I love him to death, but Jaye's never done relationships and Dar has 'relationship' practically stamped on her forehead.

I hope he knows what he's doing, I thought apprehensively.

"Well, uh, it was, erm," Darlah paused and took a deep breath. "It was the day after we had sex," she blurted, turning three shades of red.

If she got any redder, the heat from her face was going to fog up her glasses, I thought absently.

I wasn't prepared to give it to her straight, but if need be I would, but first, the facts.

"Funny how?" I questioned her, starting my interrogation.

"He seems almost like something is bothering him and he doesn't want to tell me," she whispered, worrying her lip with her teeth.

I took a sip of my soda, staring at it instead of her face.

"He's going to dump me, isn't he?" she asked quietly, her voice catching.

I looked up at her and my heart hurt for her, the look on her face, the unshed tears pooling in her eyes, and I realized something- I couldn't tell her. I'm a coward, so sue me, but I couldn't do it.

Maybe I'm wrong and he's just stressed, I told myself, unconvincingly.

"If he was going to dump you, he would have done it," I told her, giving her fingers a reassuring squeeze.

"Okay, if you say so," she sniffled.

"I mean, you're the 'best friend'," she chuckled, wiping at her eyes with a napkin, giving me a watery smile.

My tummy tightened.

"In a way, you know him better than I do," she said on a laugh, further cementing my spot in hell.

"I think it's that time of the month." She cleared her throat, swiping at her eyes again.

"I've been so weepy lately. Oh, and that's another thing! He's obsessed with dates-on calendars- and he keeps losing mine- my calendar, that is. Weird, right?" She shrugged, sipping her ginger ale.

I shrugged and sipped at my own drink, feeling like pond scum.

No, pond scum on pond scum, I thought as I gave another little shrug like 'who knows' and laughed too.

Say 'hello' to Satan when you go to Hell for lying, Mol, I admonished myself.

 

****

 

"What the Hell! Are you doing, Jayeleebean!?!" I shouted at Jaye as I stormed into my house, straight from the restaurant.

Jaye was hanging out at my house with Ponne and Neyenn as they watched Eilahna and Saturday football.

Amazing that the sport is still so popular after all these years, but there you go.

"Wha I yoo?" he asked, startled, a mouth full of food, still chewing.

"YOU!" I growled, pointing at him, "In the kitchen! Now!"

Ponne and Neyenn started to snicker but stopped at my glare.

All of the sudden watching Ellie play blocks was the most interesting thing ever to them.

"Hmmph," I huffed, heading into the kitchen.

"What are you doing Jaye?" I demanded the second I walked in.

"I don't know what you mean?" He frowned, puzzled.

Hhhmmm… He seems genuinely confused.

Guess I'm gonna have to help him out a little.

"Are you going to dump, Dar?" I asked straight out, cutting to the most pertinent of questions.

"WHAT!" he exclaimed, jumping up from the counter barstool, knocking things over in his haste.

"Who said that? I'll brain him!" he yelled and I frowned at that.

"She said you’re acting funny and she's worried you're going to leave her."

His expression went from sympathy to panic.

He ran over to me and gripped my shoulders.

"What did you tell her, Mol? What? You said 'no', right? Right, Mol?"

I grabbed his face and looked him straight in the eyes.

"Chill, Bill, you're freaking me out. Just breathe, Jayeleebean... breathe... geez... I haven't seen you this worked up since... well, since Neyenn and I got stranded on the Planet of Natural Forestry," I realized and frowned.

A niggling suspicion took root and I took stock of him then, his face, his expressions, our conversation, everything.

"You love her, don't you?" I murmured softly, releasing the death squeeze I had on his cheeks so he could respond.

"Yes," he said simply, clearing his throat uncomfortably.

"So, then... what's the problem?" I asked carefully, truly baffled.

"She's my soul mate," he said quietly.

"Oh," I said and then, "Oooohhh," as understanding dawned. "And you haven't told her yet, I'm guessing. Umm... Why not, uh, though? I'm confused here."

"I want her to feel like it's her choice, you know? For her to choose me?" he explained imploringly, looking to me for understanding. "I don't want her to have any regrets, Mol."

He was completely sincere and I smiled at him, relieved.

"You should be careful, though, Jaye. She won't take kindly to knowing you kept things from her, and she will find out. We always do," I said grimly, warning him ominously.

"I planned on telling her, after, and I'm going to ask her to marry me. In fact, I'm going to do it at Dad and Mama's get together tomorrow," he confessed happily and proceeded to show me the ring and everything.

"I'm so happy for you, Jayeleebean! Love you!" I bounced excitedly on the balls of my feet, my hands slapping together in and overzealous clap, beyond happy for him.

I grinned, giving him a quick hug in congratulations. Looks like my BFF is finally growing up!

"Love you too, Mol," he replied instantly, hugging me right back.

"I do have one question though..." I trailed off as I made my way to the fridge to grab a bottle of water.

He waited patiently, looking at me expectantly for me to finish my question.

"How do you two, uh, you know, without her figuring out that you’re, uh... you know? Uh, mmmm, you know what? I don't want to know,” I shook my head, “that would be too much sharing, even for the BFF," I laughed. "Forget I asked."

"Oh, you know, Mol... the usual way.” He let loose a deep chuckle, turning ever so slowly as he pivoted on his feet, striking a manly pose. “I dazzle her with my scintillating wit." He winked and grinned lecherously, and I snorted and rolled my eyes.

Frickin’ nut.

Jaye did this all in the most conceited fashion possible, hamming it up and adding a little hip bump to his eyebrow wiggle.

Catching my horrified expression, he guffawed at the look on my face.

I smacked him and laughed along with it too.

What a goof!

At least some things never change, I thought nostalgically.

Then I thought about the past year and couldn't help but think that some changes were for the better.

I grinned at that, thinking about all the things I now have to be thankful for from those changes.

"Oh, and Jaye?" I said casually, while I still thought of it.

"Yeah, Mol?"

"Fix your hair before you go, you look like a blue Pomeranian with it sticking up at all angles like that," I teased.

I could hear his laugh carrying behind me as I made my way to the living room.

I turned the corner sharply and gasped as I almost collided with someone.

I looked at the living wall in front of me and grimaced inwardly.

"Can I help you, snoopy?" I snapped as I found Exinn skulking around the hallway.

When did he get here?

Ugh, I can't stand him- never could.

He's too... smarmy.

He reminds me of a snake oil salesman, I thought to myself and shuddered.

"Just wanted to say, ‘Hi’ and all that," he said cheerfully. Too cheerful.

Hmmm. Maybe I should go count the silver.

 

 

If you can’t beat ‘em, hit ‘em where it hurts most

 

Darlah

 

 

Jaye seemed so nervous today, I noticed as he fidgeted with his pants pocket again.

What is going on? I thought absently as we made our way to the tables to fill up our plates and ‘get our grub on’ as Mol is so fond of saying.

He seems so off kilter today.

He’d seemed much happier yesterday and I had stopped worrying.

Maybe I was wrong?

“Is something wrong, Jaye?” I asked frankly.

“No,” he replied instantly, but I wasn’t convinced.

“You’re fidgeting,” I told him, pointing to his leg as it jiggled up and down like a jack hammer.

He stopped immediately and gave me a kiss.

“All better now. Man I am starving, looks good. Let’s eat, huh?”

He started to dig in and I started to feel a knot forming in my stomach.

He was lying to me.

I could feel it in my gut.

But why?

I started to feel a little nauseous and made my way to the restroom.

Once there, I splashed my face with cold water until I felt a little better.

I kept my breaths slow and even and that seemed to help.

I exited the bathroom and at first I thought it was Jaye standing there, maybe waiting for me or something.

Was a line forming? I wasn’t in there that long.

“You must be Darlah,” the blue Rellian male in front of me drawled.

It took me a minute to put his face to his name.

“Exinn, right?” I said slowly, holding out my hand for him to shake. “Jaye’s cousin,” I continued.

He ignored my proffered hand and leaned against the wall, crossing his arms over his chest.

“Tell me,” he said quietly, giving me an odd look, “How does it feel to be married to someone who doesn’t even like you?”

“What?” I asked, startled at his question. “Look,” I said after a moment, “I think you have the wrong person...”

“Oh,” he cut in, looking me up and down like he found me lacking. “Has to be you. He called you some kind of pet name, what was it?” he tried to recall, tapping his lip, as if in thought. “Oh, that’s right!” He grinned, snapping his fingers. “Mouse! He calls you mouse or something like that,” he said offhandedly, waving his hand around as he talked. “Probably referring to how ‘plain jane’ you are and all that, but what do I know.” He shrugged and smiled, but it wasn’t a nice smile.

My stomach felt like I was going to be sick, truly sick, and I had an intense heavy feeling in my chest, like someone was crushing it.

I had a terrible feeling it was going to be a big assed Rellian named Jaye.

I cleared my throat and looked at him uncertainly. “Well, Exinn, what do you know, how do you know it, and how do I know you’re telling the truth?” I asked him flatly, unsure if I should really believe him or not.

“Why don’t I tell you what I know and you can go ask him for yourself?” he said amicably and grinned at me, his grin even wider than before.

I nodded and gestured for him to continue.

“I heard him telling Neyenn’s wife he accidentally married you and didn’t want you to know. That proof enough for you? I was at their house yesterday. You can check if you like.”

He smirked, getting up from his position against the wall and started walking away.

“Can’t say that I honestly blame him, to be truthful,” he called over his shoulder as he sauntered back into the party.

I was so shocked, I forgot to breathe for a minute.

Bile rose up in my throat and I ran into the bathroom to throw up.

 

****

 

After I had cleaned myself up, I made my way back to the party, determined to get some answers.

He’s wrong, I told myself. He has to be, he’s lying. Jaye cares, I know he does.

I started to remember all those things that had me worrying the past weeks and I started to feel my doubts surfacing.

My stomach was drowning with dread as I searched him out.

I found him talking to Magenta again and I froze in place, watching as an insane feeling of rage, jealousy and hurt rushed through me.

I waited until my heart rate slowed down a bit and walked right up to him in the middle of the room.

“Is it true?” I asked, shaken and pale.

I knew my face was probably ashen by now, because I felt cold all over.

Jaye turned to me, concerned, and went to reach for me, but I backed away from his touch.

I looked up into his face and asked him in front of god and everyone.

“Are we married? Did you marry me and not want me to know, Jaye? Have you been,” I paused, swallowing past the lump in my throat, keeping my unshed tears at bay, “lying to me?”

The room went dead quiet, waiting for his answer as well, it seemed.

He looked at me and I could see everything I needed to, right there, written right there on his face, for everyone to see.

He looked guilty.

“Yes,” he said quietly, looking at me searchingly.

Anger followed closely, riding out all of my other emotions.

“What’s the matter, Jayevellan?” I clipped snidely. “Couldn’t stomach being married to a mouse?!” I shouted and stormed out of the room.

Everyone just stood there staring at us, taken aback.

 

 

Jaye

 

 

I stood there, stunned, unable to move.

I felt frozen in place.

Terror clawed at my chest as she started to leave.

She’s leaving me! I thought and panicked.

“Wait, Darlah! Wait! Let me explain! You don't understand!” I pleaded, chasing after her.

I grabbed her arm, careful not to hurt her and she threw her arm out, pulling out of my grasp.

“Oh, I understand perfectly,” she snapped, hurt lacing her voice, and it killed me.

“Yes, Jaye, do tell, we are just dying to know,” Exinn said mockingly, grinning smugly at me.

“YOU!” Molilah shrieked from the back patio door. “You’re dead meat, you smarmy, ease dropping snake in the grass!” she ranted and started charging towards Exinn, a grill scraper in her hand.

Exinn came out of his shocked stupor when he saw Mol gunning for him.

His eyes bugged out of his head, his lips turning into an ‘O’ and he took off, running around the yard, trying to avoid Mol as she chased him around with a grill scraper, telling him exactly what she was going to do to him when she got her hands on him.

God, he screams like a girl!

I turned back to my little mouse, but she was gone.

It looks like Dar took off as soon as the chaos started, slipping away quietly while everyone’s attention was diverted, mine included.

I wanted to go to her desperately, fighting the urge to long after the party had died down, but Mama told me I should wait and give her time to cool down.

I figured I should listen to her since I have no desire to make things worse than they already are.

With that thought foremost in my mind now, I decided to take out the trash. So, where is Exinn? I wondered.

The little weasel had some explaining to do.

I found him and was a little surprised that it was Nona who had Exinn hog tied to a chair in the garage, not Mol.

“Tell me, you little twit,” Nona said patiently, pulling at her bright yellow and white polka dotted top to straighten it up a little.

She had on a fuchsia skirt, but I wasn’t really all that surprised.

The woman has no sense of style or color coordination.

She paired the outfit with bright red hooker heels and she had a fake bird poking out of her beehive like hairdo.

And people say I’m a hot mess, I lamented.

She held Pudge up to Exinn’s face and he struggled to get away from the little dog, who angrily growled at him.

Pudge is Nona’s little terrier mix.

He weighs like six pounds.

Pudge snarled and Exinn started shaking, like he was scared.

What the hell?

Was he truly frightened of sweet little Pudgy?

What the...?

And then Nona jiggled Pudge a little and he pulled back his lips, snarling at Exinn.

I guess it was supposed to be menacing, but I couldn’t help thinking about how adorably un-ferocious he looked.

His tiny little ears were perked up, hackles raised, chubby body quivering.

He looked more like an angry, stuffed sausage to me.

Not so much to Exinn though, who screamed like a girl and started talking in a high, strained voice.

“Okay! Okay! I’ll talk! Just keep that little beast away from me! Please!” he exclaimed, trying to scoot his chair away from the little furry menace.

This was just embarrassing, I thought ruefully, shaking my head at the scene in front of me.

I stayed, however, waiting to hear what ‘Cousin Emasculating’ had to say.

 

 

Darlah

 

 

“Darlah, honey, look, I know you’re home. I’m standing right outside your door...” Jaye said into my answering machine. “I know what it looked like the other day, mouse, but that’s not why I didn’t tell you- and please don’t shut off the answering machine again, you know I’ll just keep calling,” he soothed and I knew it was true.

He had waited a day, exactly twenty four hours, and then started knocking on my door, calling me every hour on the hour, anything and everything he could think of to get me to talk to him.

I woke up this morning and realized something else too- I’m pregnant.

It didn’t click until I had gotten sick again this morning and had searched out my antacids to settle my stomach.

I’d opened the medicine cabinet and came face to face with my feminine products, and everything had clicked.

I took a test, just to be sure, and it came back positive.

I’m pregnant, I thought again.

Another thought struck me.

I wonder if Jaye had suspected it as well.

We hadn’t been using protection and he did keep making off with my calendar.

Maybe he was seeing if I had put some sign on them to mark my menses or something.

It would make sense and explain away the calendars.

Jaye’s voice drifted back to me over the answering machine and I cocked my head to listen.

“...I love you, mouse. I didn’t tell you about our marriage because I wanted you to choose me, because you wanted to be with me, not because a law made it so. I’m sorry though, I should never have kept anything from you. Please forgive me. I love you so much, Darlah Mae Harvick. I’m proud and honored to be your husband. Please call me, honey, I miss you,” he murmured sincerely, a wealth of longing in his voice.

I sat there for a minute, taking in everything he’d just said, and started to cry, big sobbing tears that blurred my vision.

The answering machine clicked off, letting me know that the message had ended, and I wiped at my face, trying to calm another one of my crying jags.

He had seemed so sincere in the message and I don’t think he would be trying so hard to get me back if he wasn’t.

Why would you try to get back your unwanted wife if you didn’t want her?

If he was truly embarrassed by me, he wouldn’t claim me so openly in front of his family and friends, would he?

No, he wouldn’t.

He wasn’t embarrassed of me after all, I reflected after a moment.

I grinned, wiping at my tear stained face and chuckling happily.

I got up and got dressed quickly, fixing my hair in a hasty up do.

I hurried to the door and then remembered my newly found out pregnancy. I rushed into the bathroom to get my test to show him.

I ran back into the living room and rushed to the door, flinging it open wide.

There was no sign of Jaye though, he must have gone. I peered around, looking for any sign of him and came back empty.

He must have really left.

I closed the door and slumped against it, remembering how I had reacted at the party and the things I had said to him, accused him of.

I didn’t even give him a chance to explain, I berated myself. I can’t lose him now.

I need a plan!

I’m going to get my manwhore back, I assured myself. If it’s the last thing I do!

 

 

Doctor! Doctor! Give Me The Cure!

 

Jaye

 

 

The paper crinkled beneath me as I waited impatiently for him to tell me.

I rubbed at my chest again, grimacing at the pain.

My constant companion, lately, I thought to myself.

Don't they say it's better to feel something than nothing at all? It's better than nothing, I guess.

"You can tell me, doc, I'm ready," I said, sighing heavily.

He opened his mouth and started to say something but then stopped and grimaced.

"Well, uh, the thing is, Mr., ah, Mr. Harvick, we've run several tests on you and..."

I cut him off with, "Don't sugar coat it, doc. Just tell me, is it bad? It's bad, isn't it?"

He opened his mouth again as if to say something. I groaned and covered my face with my hands.

It's gonna be bad, I just know it.

There was a terrible commotion out of nowhere and it sounded like it was coming from right outside of the room I was currently in.

The door was suddenly thrust open and Mama came rushing in.

"Oh, my god! My baby! Is he okay? He's okay, right?! Oh, my god, my little 'Jaye Jaye'!" Mama started to wail, running over to stand by the table I was on.

"Mama? What are you doing here?" I blurted, baffled, truly surprised to see her here.

An out of breathe Molilah came rushing into the room.

"I don't know how they found out, Jaye, you know I wouldn't do that to you. I didn't say a word, swear. I tried to stop her," she gasped out, motioning towards Mama.

"But they tricked me! So sorry, Jaye!" she exclaimed, exasperated.

"They?" I asked incredulously.

Nona came toddling up behind Molilah right then, a self-satisfied smirk on her face, wiping her hands together like she was dusting them off.

"I may be old, honey, but I aint' that old, not yet at any rate," Nona chuckled.

"Nona distracted them so your mom could slip past them," Mol explained.

I glanced at Mama and she shrugged, then glared down at me.

"Hey! No one would tell me anything!" she huffed indignantly, crossing her arms over her chest, giving me that mom look that said, 'I dare you to say something. I dare you'.

I wisely kept my trap shut.

The doctor looked flustered, sputtering at the scene unfolding before him.

"You can't all be in here. This is a..." but he didn't get to finish.

A rushed looking Neyenn burst into the doorway, breathing heavily. He was carrying a bubbly Eilahna, strapped to his chest in one of those baby carrier dealies.

"I didn't do it on purpose!" he jumped in before anyone could say anything. His eyes shifted to Mol sheepishly, nodding his head at her stomach. "I was worried. I thought it had to do with the baby," he told Mol quietly.

His tone was soft and held a wealth of emotions- relief, happiness, love- the utmost out of all of them being love. All of the things I ache for and think about when I think of my little mouse.

I rubbed at my chest again, the pain back full force.

I sat up slowly, grimacing and trying valiantly to hide it.

Luckily, everyone else was preoccupied with Neyenn's little bombshell and I went unnoticed.

"A baby?" Mama chimed in, hope and excitement in her voice.

Molilah blushed prettily and smiled, nodding her head.

"I'm not that far along, so we haven't told anyone yet." She looked over at Neyenn, her eyes full of love and contrition.

"I'm sorry, blue balls, I didn't mean to worry you. I was just trying to respect Jaye's privacy," she apologized. "He asked me not to say anything yet," she added and Neyenn pulled her close, kissing her sweetly.

"I, ah, I'm sorry too. You said it was important, but didn't tell me exactly where you were going, or what was going on... so I called Mama to see what she knew and told her where you said you two were headed. Jaye's physician is the only place around here that she could think of... so, uh, there it is," he said sheepishly.

The doctor cleared his throat again, getting impatient. "You can't all be in..." he started, only to be cut of once again.

"MOVE IT, SISTER! Or I will Mow. You. Down!" came screeching from the hallway.

I jerked up at that.

She's here! I thought, excitedly, my eyes glued to the door.

A very flushed looking Darlah came running in, her purse half on, half off her shoulder, wide open, things spilling out everywhere in her rush.

Hope she didn't need anything that fell out, I thought distractedly.

She had her blouse buttoned wrong and her hair had rubber band marks from where she must have had it up at one point.

"And who the heck are you!?" exclaimed the doctor.

"His WIFE!" she snarled and glared at the doctor, giving him what was probably supposed to be a smile, but looked more like a flashing of teeth- more of a warning than anything.

Her posture screamed ‘Don't mess with me, buddy!’

She searched the faces in the room, until she met mine.

Our eyes locked and everything else fell away.

I felt a rush of emotions run through me then and I could see them mirrored in hers, the most important one there being love. I saw her love.

I held out my hand to her and gave her a wan, half smile.

She rushed over and grabbed my hospital gown, kissing the shit out of me. She pulled back after a very long, satisfying kiss and cupped my face in her hands, planting small noisy kisses all over my face.

We were both murmuring to each other, apologizing to one another, whispering words of love, not giving a shit about the fact that we were in a room full of people.

My heart beat wildly in my chest in excitement and I felt whole again with my little mouse in my arms.

Complete.

I felt complete.

"This is like a damn circus," the doctor muttered, shaking his head, and I laughed at his bewildered tone and expression.

He cleared his throat.

"Now, if you would just let me finish," he said curtly, looking around the room sternly, and then glancing at the door, making sure no others were going to crash our little party.

"I was just going to say that you are, by all accounts, fine and ask if something was weighing heavily on you. From the look on your face, however, I can surmise that, for the most part, your issues are resolving themselves, yes?"

I looked into my little mouse's twinkling eyes and grinned, giving her a quick, hard kiss.

"Yeah," I said, "Yeah, they are." I stood up and scooped her up in my arms, kissing her with everything I had.

"Ahem," a throat cleared. "Might I recommend getting dressed first, before you do anything else, hmm," the doctor advised, motioning at my exposed rear end through the back of the gown.

I grinned and looked at Dar.

"I don't know, temptress, what do you think?" I teased, pretending to think about it.

She laughed happily and it was the best sound I'd ever heard.

"Seriously though, little bro, put some damn pants on!" Neyenn cut in, shielding his eyes.

"Ow, Mol, quit it! What did I say?!"

 

 

Revenge is a dish best served...

 

Darlah

 

 

"Your cousin looks, uhm, different," Marre commented, trying to be solicitous, but you could tell from the expression on his face, he was thinking the same thing everyone else was, Exinn looked ridiculous.

"I can't picture him choosing that particular hair style, to be honest," Perre chimed in, eyeing Exinn like he'd just found something that smelled awful.

Exinn looked horrible, I thought to myself.

He was completely absent of all body hair and it's not a good look for a Rellian male.

I smiled and absently rubbed my tummy, where it now had a baby bump showing.

"There's my little mouse." Jaye came up next to me, fitting me into the crook of his arm, reaching a hand over to rub my belly.

"And how is my progeny?" he joked and I swatted at his arm.

"Stop calling him that!" I huffed, exasperated.

He looked thoughtful for a moment and then grinned unrepentantly.

"How about 'the fruit of my loins'? 'The product of my superior sperm'? 'Jaye Jr.'? 'Lil’ Jaye'?"

I put my hand over his mouth gently to shut him up.

"How about 'the baby', hmm?" I cut him off.

"How do you know it's a boy," remarked Marre curiously.

"Just a feeling I have," I replied, giving him a little half smile.

"Well, you’re right about one thing," Perre chuckled, smiling sweetly at me.

"They are definitely both boys," Perre and Marre responded in unison, both chuckling simultaneously.

Perre laughed outright when we both just stood there blinking at him.

"Beg pardon?" I mumbled, glancing down at my stomach.

"Hooray for the pinky twins and their super sniffers!!" Jaye exclaimed, snapping out of it before I did, getting a dirty look from both Marre and Perre.

"I'm having twins!" he shouted to the room at large, kissed me hard and started doing a victory dance.

It was a terrible dance, and I started giggling as he continued to do it.

I had a funny feeling he kept it up just because it made me laugh.

"Soooo, like Exinn's new do?" Mol asked cheerfully, sidling up next to me, watching with me as my husband and 'soul mate' made an ass out of himself.

A very cute ass, but still.

"Love it!" I laughed out loud.

I slid her an appraising glance and asked what I’d had a sneaking suspicion about since I'd seen the new 'do'.

"It was you, wasn't it, Mrs. Mol?" I shook my head, laughing at her knowingly.

She said nothing for a minute and then gave me a huge smile, shrugging.

"Nobody messes with my family."

We both slung an arm around each other, giggling like hyenas as she told me the whole story of what she likes to call 'Exinn's journey to hairlessness'.

“You are positively evil, my friend,” I sighed, smiling at my sister in law.

She jiggled my arm a little.

“That’s sister to you, missy!” And we chortled together, enjoying the scenes going on around us.