IT WAS AT times like this that she wished she had someone to talk to.
After Axel had dropped her off on Friday night, she hadn’t gotten a wink of sleep. Which was fine as she had Saturday off to try and catch up on rest, but instead she’d found herself sitting in her little cottage by the sea staring at the walls and going crazy. That was when she’d decided that she would just go to the hospital and do some administrative work or maybe convince the senior Dr. Sturlusson to let her do a surgery or two. Or at least have some of the more experienced residents do one while she watched.
One thing she knew, she couldn’t just do nothing, because then all she would do was think about Axel’s arms around her. The way his hands had felt in her hair, the taste of his lips and the way she’d absolutely melted.
And she had never melted like that for anyone before.
She walked over to the hospital and entered through the front doors, rather than the emergency-room entrance.
“Betty!”
She turned to see who was calling out to her and it was Stellan. She groaned inwardly. Stellan was handsome and charming. She’d gone out for coffee with him the day after he’d taken her back to Axel’s place so she could watch Eira, but it had been the most tedious coffee she’d ever had. Stellan was a wonderful guy. But for someone else.
“Hi, Stellan,” Betty said quickly.
“I didn’t think you would be in today.” He looked pleased to see her.
“Well, I’m not really here, but I thought I would get some work done anyways.”
“I guess if you don’t know many people it can be boring here.”
“Yep, that’s so true.”
Stellan rubbed the back of his neck. “Look, if you’re not busy later tonight I would love to take you out to dinner.”
“That’s very sweet, but I’m not here to date. I’m only here for three months to work with the surgical residents on this work exchange.”
Stellan’s cheeks flushed red and his jaw clenched. “I see. Well, I’m sorry.”
“I would love to stay your friend. You’re an amazing guy.”
A small smile broke across his face. “I would like that too.”
Then he stepped forward and pulled her into an embrace, before kissing her. It caught her off guard. She pushed him away.
“Stellan, I can’t.”
“It was worth a shot,” he said with a shrug before leaving.
What was with the men in Reykjavik?
And as she tried to regain her composure she looked over at the stairs that led to the walkway that connected two parts of the hospital. Axel was standing on the walkway, leaning over the side watching her.
Crud.
She started walking toward him and he met her halfway down the stairs. His jaw was clenched and his expression unreadable. And Betty felt bad. She wasn’t the kind of girl to kiss multiple men in a span of twenty-four hours.
“What did Stellan want?” Axel asked, crossing his arms.
“He asked me out.”
Axel didn’t say much.
“I said no,” she said and she pushed past him and headed up to the walkway. She heard Axel following her.
“It didn’t seem like you said no when he was kissing you.”
“He initiated that kiss, not me and, honestly, what is it to you? We’re not dating.” She regretted the words as soon as she’d said them.
His eyes narrowed. “No, we’re not exclusive. And no, we’re not dating. I just kissed you in a moment of...”
“Weakness.”
His expression softened. “What’re you doing here today?”
“I’m going stir crazy in my cottage. So, I’m here to do paperwork and if I’m needed on a surgery then so be it.”
Axel laughed. “You hope that you are.”
“I am a surgeon. I’d rather be in the operating room.”
“Well, I’ll be sure to let you know if you’re needed down in the emergency room.”
“Thank you.” She stopped in front of her office and opened the door. “Feel free to dump a couple of residents on my roster today. I can always get them to do labs on my post operatives. In fact, I think I’ll do a round, so definitely send up a couple of residents.”
Axel nodded. “I will. Though my father will be angry. He wants all the residents in the emergency room. The problem is they’re tripping over each other down there.”
“Do you want me to ask your father for residents?”
“No, I will send them.” Axel lingered in her door as she took off her coat and set down her bag.
“Is there something else you wanted to talk about?” she asked.
Axel slipped into her office and shut the door. “It’s not really something to ask. I want to try something out.”
“Oh?”
And before she could answer, she was back in Axel’s arms again and he was kissing her. And this kiss was night and day to the surprise kiss she’d received from Stellan. Stellan’s kiss had been unwanted and she’d been detached.
Axel’s kiss had caught her off guard, but it fired her blood. Her knees went weak and his mouth was hungry, hot over hers. He pulled her tight against him. His hands roamed down her back to her bottom and she couldn’t help but let out a little moan.
He broke off the kiss and she had a hard time catching her breath. She looked up at him and his eyes were twinkling.
“What do you want to try out?” she asked breathlessly.
“That.”
“Oh?”
“I wanted to make sure it wasn’t just the Northern Lights or the beer affecting you.”
Betty couldn’t help but laugh and he laughed with her, his arms still around her.
“What’s the verdict?” she asked.
“It wasn’t just the Northern Lights,” he said huskily and he kissed her again, a light kiss, but it still made her forget about everything.
“I’d better go,” he said reluctantly as he stepped away from her. “Do you still want me to send those residents up?”
“Yeah,” she said, trying to calm the erratic beat of her heart. “That would be great.”
Axel chuckled and left her office, shutting the door behind him.
Betty leaned against the wall after he left and slid down to the floor.
More confused than ever, but also secretly pleased that it hadn’t just been the beer or the romantic backdrop of the aurora borealis. Axel and she had chemistry, but if she didn’t put a stop to this soon, she’d regret this.
She wasn’t going to hurt Axel.
And she wasn’t going to risk her heart. She’d done enough of that already.
* * *
Axel hadn’t been able to get Betty out of his head all night. The way she tasted, the soft silkiness of her hair and how her body had fit perfectly against his. Just thinking about her body pressed against him made his blood heat.
He’d come to the hospital early because he couldn’t sleep. All he’d done was think about Betty being in bed with him. Then he’d thought of her in the shower. She was everywhere, all at once.
And then he’d seen Stellan kissing her and the green-eyed monster of jealousy had reared its ugly head.
Mine.
That had been the single thought in his head when he’d seen Stellan kissing her. He was angry and even though he shouldn’t care, because they hadn’t promised each other anything, he couldn’t help himself. He wanted Betty.
Even though he knew there was a time limit on their romance, he wanted to spend as much time as he could with her. He wanted to have this one, fleeting moment of pure joy in his life. Once she left to go back to New York, then he could return to normal.
Can you?
He shook that thought from his head.
Once he got to the emergency room he assigned two eager surgical residents to help with Betty’s post-operative rounds and run labs.
And then he headed to check on Mr. Bjorn.
“Good morning,” Axel said brightly as he entered the room. “How are you feeling this morning, Mr. Bjorn?”
“Sore,” Mr. Bjorn said.
“Incision pain?” Axel asked.
“No, it’s like before, but in my arm and it hurts when I breathe.”
Axel snapped on gloves. “When did this pain start? Overnight?”
“No, just about half an hour ago.”
Axel took the patient’s blood pressure and it had dropped. It was hard to get a pulse in the arm that he was complaining hurt. He used his stethoscope to listen to the patient’s labored breathing and one thought popped into his head. Mr. Bjorn had an embolus. It could be in his lungs or near the repair. It was hard to tell, but Axel knew that he had to find the clot soon.
“I’m going to do a CT angiogram. I think you might have a pulmonary embolism. So I need to find it and take care of it as soon as I can. I don’t want anything to compromise your aortic repair.”
“Okay. Will you be doing it, Dr. Sturlusson? I trust you.”
Axel nodded. “Of course. I’m going to have some surgical residents prep you, while I prep the angiogram, okay?”
Mr. Bjorn nodded.
Axel left his room and called over Dr. Einnarsson, who had been in the original surgery. Dr. Einnarsson looked none too pleased to be beckoned by the black sheep of the hospital, but Axel didn’t care.
“I need you to prep Mr. Bjorn for a CT angiogram. Then you can assist me as we look for a pulmonary embolus.”
“Of course, Dr. Sturlusson.”
Axel nodded and headed toward the angio suites, which were located at the other end of the hospital. On his way to the angiogram lab he ran into Betty, who had just sent her surgical residents off in the opposite direction.
She frowned when she saw him. “What’s wrong?”
“Mr. Bjorn, our aortic dissection patient, probably has a pulmonary embolism. His blood pressure is down and his breathing is labored.”
“Oh, no! That’s horrible.”
“I’m going to do a CT angiogram and, since I’m supposed to be on the trauma-room floor supervising the residents...”
“You don’t need to ask twice. I’ll man the trauma-room floor. You take care of your patient.”
“Thank you, Betty.”
They passed each other, heading in opposite directions, when Betty turned and called him back.
“What?” he asked across the causeway.
“What do I tell your father when he sees me working your shift?” It was asked in jest and it made him laugh. He needed a good laugh, because he was extremely concerned about his patient. He wasn’t going to let Mr. Bjorn die because of a pulmonary embolism. Not after the man miraculously survived such an extensive and complicated aortic dissection repair.
“Tell him the truth.”
Betty smiled and waved as she turned back the way she was headed and Axel made his way to the angiogram room.
* * *
Mr. Bjorn’s angiogram went well. Axel was able to correct the pulmonary embolism issue, but he was worried about putting Mr. Bjorn on blood thinners. Especially in light of the fact that Mr. Bjorn had had a repair of a major blood vessel. If he was on thinners and the repair leaked, it would be disastrous.
Axel was going to have to spend more time at the hospital to monitor the situation more closely, but he knew one thing was for sure: the clock had reset on Mr. Bjorn’s eventual return to Sweden.
Axel headed back to the emergency room and the moment he stepped onto the floor it was a flurry of excitement.
His father was standing in the fray shouting orders and Axel could see some of the residents that weren’t with patients in the triage area were packing up supplies.
“What’s going on?” Axel asked, confused.
“Where were you?” his father snapped, spinning around to face him.
“I was doing an angiogram on my patient.”
“We have cardiothoracic surgeons for that!”
“I am a cardiothoracic surgeon.”
“Not in this hospital. In this hospital you’re a trauma surgeon, or have you forgotten your place?”
Axel clenched his fist. “It was my patient. Besides, Dr. Jacinth was manning the emergency room for me.”
“I know. She’s supposed to be off, but I admire her spirit.”
At least he admired something.
“What happened?” Axel asked, biting back the snarky response he’d been thinking.
“There was an accident in Kulusuk, Greenland. They need our assistance, so I’m sending a team over in a plane.”
Axel’s blood ran cold. He closed his eyes as he heard the sounds of the helicopter’s engine giving out. The explosion, the heat of flames and the sting of ice-cold water as he was pushed by Calder out of the side into the unforgiving sea.
“Who’s going?” Axel asked quietly, his stomach churning.
Please don’t be Betty. Please don’t be Betty.
“Dr. Jacinth and a couple of residents are getting ready to head to Keflavik to catch their flight.”
“Tasiilaq is close to Kulusuk. Why don’t they send help?”
“They don’t have enough surgeons to send to Kulusuk. They are the ones who asked for help and so I’m sending a team. It’s the right thing to do.”
“Of course,” Axel responded dryly. Then he saw Betty pulling on a hospital anorak and filling her kit. The thought of anything happening to her was too unbearable.
“Axel, are you even listening to me?” his father asked in exasperation.
“I’ll man the emergency room now, Father. You accompany the team to the airport.”
His father nodded. “Okay.”
Axel turned away. He couldn’t watch Betty leave.
He couldn’t breathe thinking about her in the sky over the stormy waters of the north Atlantic. They were so unforgiving. So cruel. It had no mercy.
It showed him mercy, but not Calder.
He closed his eyes again, clenching his fingers into his palm until it stung and then he flexed them again, willing the screams of the wind, the waves, Calder’s lifeless body out of his mind, but instead of Calder he saw Betty in the water.
And that terrified him to the core.
* * *
Betty tried to find Axel before they left for the airport. She hoped he wasn’t worrying too much about the flight.
Why would he worry? He’s not the one flying.
The emergency in Kulusuk had been minor, thankfully, but there was an earthquake just off the coast of Kulusuk and there had been a tsunami. So those that weren’t injured in the quake had been injured in the surge of water and ice.
Everywhere in the small community that clung to an island just off the coast of Greenland was decimated.
The plane landed in the community of Tasiilaq and they boarded boats to cross the sound to the island of Kulusuk.
Other emergency teams had arrived and there was a small triage area set up at the highest point of the village. It was in that tent that Betty worked the hardest she ever had in her life, in conditions that she’d never worked in before.
She’d been so used to the cleanliness of state-of-the-art hospitals. She wasn’t used to this kind of raw, ragged work.
Her body was pushed to the limits as she treated everyone she could. And when the last of the patients were seen to, she boarded a boat back to Taliisaq with her team and then back onto a plane to Iceland.
She was exhausted. They’d been working for over twenty-four hours.
She’d only stopped to grab a quick bite to eat and to drink coffee to help keep her warm.
The two surgical residents that had come with her were curled up in the seat of the private plane that the hospital had chartered for them. They were sleeping, but Betty couldn’t sleep.
She’d done the most intense triaging she’d ever done in her life.
All without Thomas. It felt good to know what she was capable of all on her own.
To be free of him.
It felt good to be out there and helping people and to be on the front line like that. She understood why Axel had followed his older brother into the tactical navy and why he enjoyed being a surgeon in emergency situations.
And she couldn’t help but wonder if he missed it.
Thinking about Axel triggered something else too. It made her think about the kiss in her office. The kiss under the Northern Lights had made her swoon, but that kiss in her office. When he took her in his arms and hungrily kissed her. That was something she’d never experienced before. Not with such heat and intensity.
Just thinking about it made her body come alive, her blood heat and her skin thrum with sexual desire. The kind she’d only read about in books. She’d always scoffed at the idea of being that aroused by a kiss.
Thomas had always complained about her kisses or their lovemaking. He’d never thought it was good enough, which was his first excuse for cheating on her with the woman he married. Apparently he’d had heat with her, but not Betty.
The plane landed smoothly and a van was waiting to take them and their gear back to the hospital.
She was exhausted now. As soon as she dropped her gear and did her report on what was done in Kulusuk, she was going to go home and have a shower and sleep. When she got to the hospital she was expecting to see Axel on duty, but he wasn’t.
That’s odd.
She did her quick report and then headed home. When she got home, she had a shower and instead of going to bed, she got dressed and decided to head to Axel’s place to check on him. Something was bothering him.
She wasn’t sure what it was, but there was something wrong and she wanted to make sure that he was okay.
Betty called a cab and was across the town and standing in front of Axel’s door in under thirty minutes. His SUV was in the laneway, so he was home, unless he was out walking somewhere.
Her pulse was thundering between her ears and she was suddenly very nervous as that rush of desire that she’d felt in the plane came flooding back.
She took a deep breath and knocked on the door.
Axel answered it. There were dark circles under his eyes, he hadn’t shaved and he looked weary. As if he’d been up as long as she had been.
“Hi, you...” Her words were silenced as his arms went around her and his mouth found hers, kissing her as if his life depended on it.
She wrapped her arms around him, her hands in his hair, and she pressed her body against his, but no matter how close she got to him, it wasn’t good enough. She wanted more.
He pulled her inside and they kissed for a few more minutes, her butt pressing into the corner of the small credenza he had in the foyer.
“Ow,” she finally mumbled against his lips.
Axel broke the kiss and looked down. “I’m sorry, did I hurt you?”
“No, it’s just the corner of this thing is digging into me.”
Axel chuckled and lessened his grip on her. “I’m sorry I was so urgent there, but I’ve been sick with worry.”
“You look tired,” she said as he stepped away from her and ran his hand through his hair. “Were you up all night?”
“When you got on that plane... I lost my mind.”
She touched his face. “I’m okay. Flying is safer than driving.”
Axel snorted; it was apparent he’d heard that before. “I just couldn’t think with you up in the sky and me down here... I don’t fly, Betty. Not since the accident and I just couldn’t bear the thought of something happening to you.”
“I’m okay. We made it there and back.”
“I know. I can see that, but...” He rushed toward her and cupped her face in his hands. “I’m glad you’re here.”
She closed her eyes and he kissed her. Gently. Her body was thrumming with need.
“Axel,” she whispered. “I’m not staying in Iceland. You know I have to go back to New York.”
“I know,” he said, his arms around her. “I can’t promise you anything, Betty. My life is not my own. I have Eira and my work.”
She nodded. “As long as we’re clear about the terms.”
“What are you saying?”
“Is Eira home?” Heat bloomed in her cheeks.
“No, she’s at a friend’s house,” Axel said, his eyes dark and his gaze making her body quiver with need. “Are you sure about this?”
“No, I’m not. I... I was told I’m not very good at it, but for once I would just like to have a moment of living just a little.”
Axel smiled and whispered softly against her ear. “Just a stolen moment?”
She nodded. “I want you to make love to me, Axel.”
Betty had never asked a man to make love to her before. Before, it had always embarrassed her, but right here and now she wasn’t embarrassed. She wasn’t ashamed of the desire that Axel stirred in her. She wanted him and she hoped that he wanted her just as badly.
That was all she needed to say and he scooped her up in his arms. She cried out and then laughed with him as he carried her once again.
“This is the first time I’ve been swept off my feet like this,” she teased, kissing him.
“I carry you all the time,” he said.
“I know, but this time it’s different.”
“It’s not that different to me,” he whispered.
A shiver of anticipation raced down her spine. Instead of carrying her into the room she’d occupied he carried her to the end of the hall. To his room, with the large bed that was covered with a warm, thick, down-filled duvet.
He set her down on the floor in front of him. Axel gazed at her, running his hands over her hair and then down her face.
“You are so beautiful,” he said.
Her heart skipped a beat. She didn’t know how to respond, so she didn’t respond with words. She slipped her hands in his hair and brought him forward to kiss her again. To let him know how much she wanted him. How she wanted nothing between them.
She just wanted him.
“I want you, Betty. From the first moment I saw you standing in the airport in those sexy boots.”
She chuckled. “Sexy? I thought you said they were ridiculous?”
“Ridiculous to mask the sexy,” he growled playfully, nipping her ear lobe while his hands cupped her bottom, squeezing.
“Well, I thought you were sexy too. As well as broody and...”
Axel silenced her with a kiss. She didn’t want to talk any more really. She’d been dreaming about being in his arms since she’d first laid eyes on him. She’d denied her desire for so long. She’d never let herself feel anything since her heart was broken and she never lived in the moment and did something like this.
She never really lived.
Betty wanted him with a fire that burned through her. She wanted him to be buried deep inside her. She wanted him to help her forget her heartache and sorrow. To wash away her past, so she could rise like a phoenix from the ashes.
“I want you naked,” he whispered huskily.
A shiver of delight ran down her spine and suddenly she was a bit shy. She’d never gotten naked in front of a man in a brightly lit room. It had always been at night, in the dark. This was unplanned and spontaneous.
It was thrilling.
As if sensing her shyness Axel pulled his sweater off over his head, baring his chest. She ran her hands down over his bare chest and over his rock-hard abs. He sucked in a deep breath as she ran her hands down to the waist of his trousers, teasing just underneath. She could feel his erection as he thrust his hips against her.
“Betty,” he whispered. “You’re torturing me with your touch.”
She slipped off her jacket and tossed it next to his sweater.
His gaze was fixed on her. His eyes dark, twinkling and mesmerizing.
It excited her that he was watching her.
“Now your shirt,” he demanded.
She pulled it off and was glad she’d worn her black lace bra rather than the sports bra that she had been wearing under her scrubs. Next she kicked off her boots and then undid her jeans, slowly, his eyes fixated on hers. She shimmied out of her jeans and kicked them away.
She was exposed, but suddenly she didn’t feel so shy any more.
This felt right and it had never felt this right before.
He reached out and touched her face. She closed her eyes and just let the feel of his strong hands on her take over her senses. Axel wanted her just as much as she wanted him. Her need to have him, her hunger for him was just as intense as his. She’d never felt that way before.
“God, Betty. I need you.”
She moved away from him and sat down on the edge of his bed, sinking against the fluffy duvet. Axel undid his trousers and pulled off his underwear.
Heat flushed her cheeks. He came over to the bed and pressed her down against the mattress. His body over hers.
“So beautiful,” he murmured again, stroking her cheek first and then trailing his hand down over her body, leaving a trail of gooseflesh in his wake. She arched her back, his touch making her burn with a need she’d never experienced before. A sense of excitement and pleasure that she wanted never to end.
Axel began kissing her, but not her mouth. His kisses started on her neck and went lower. Down over her breasts, to her stomach and even lower. She gasped when he pressed a kiss against her inner thigh.
“Relax,” he whispered. He slipped off her underwear and her body shuddered in delight. When he kissed her thigh again, a rush of heat flushed her body and then when he kissed her, pressing his mouth to the center of her heat, she cried out.
Oh, God.
The pleasure that was rushing through her was sweet, but torture. She wanted him inside her. She wanted Axel to help her chase away the ghosts. To help her move forward. She didn’t want to be haunted or hiding in the shadows any more.
She wanted to be freed.
“Betty, I want you. You’re so wet, so warm,” he said, his voice deep as he stroked her.
“I want you too. Do you have protection?” she asked.
“I do.” He got up and pulled out a condom from his nightstand drawer. She took the package from him.
“What’re you doing?” he asked.
“I want to help you.” She opened it and rolled it over, touching him, stroking him. He closed his eyes and moaned.
“Betty,” he murmured and he bent down, his hands in her hair as he pulled her up to kiss him. Their naked bodies flush, nothing between them now.
She pulled him down against her, opening her legs as he settled between her thighs, pressing his erection against her, one arm bracing to keep his weight off her, the other hand, stroking her and making her wet with need.
She thrust her hips against him, silently begging him to take her.
She wanted him. And she wanted him now.
He thrust forward, slowly sliding inside her. It had been so long since she’d felt this way. She rolled her hips, urging him to go faster. To take all of her. She was his. In this moment, there was no other.
She wanted him to go faster, but he held her hips, guiding her to meet every one of his controlled thrusts until she came, crying out. He quickened his pace then and it didn’t take him long before he followed her. He collapsed on his back beside her. She rolled over on her side and he slipped his arm around her. Her legs were shaking, her body still quivering with heady pleasure.
His fingers made small circles on her upper arm.
The only sound was their breathing.
There were no words to say. Her eyes were heavy...she was completely exhausted. So she didn’t say anything. She wasn’t even sure Axel wanted her to stay, but he didn’t move and she was too tired, so she fell asleep in his arms.
Sleeping in a kind of warm safety she hadn’t felt in a very long time.