AXEL WATCHED HER SLEEP. He’d been pacing all night before she’d arrived, the memory of his own accident at sea haunting him.
Calder haunting him.
When Betty showed up on his door step, it was all he could do not to take her right there. The whole time she was in Kulusuk he’d thought of her.
It was scary how much he thought of her.
How much he wanted her and how much she wanted him. He didn’t deserve a woman like her. And their time was limited. She’d told him she couldn’t stay in Iceland. She’d told him that she had to return to New York.
You knew this going in.
Except, he was falling for her. Completely.
You can’t have her.
Look what happened with Freya. She couldn’t handle it.
Betty is different.
Axel slipped his arm out from under her. She shivered in her sleep and he covered her with the duvet that had gotten twisted and kicked off the bed when they were making love.
He knew that the trauma team that went to Kulusuk had been working non-stop for over twenty-four hours. She had every right to be tired and he wasn’t going to disturb her. He’d let her sleep, but he needed to make himself more presentable for when Eira came home.
Eira!
How was he going to explain this to Eira? She was almost fifteen, but he hadn’t brought a woman home since Freya. And Calder had never dated again after his wife had passed away as he’d been too busy raising Eira.
If Betty woke up they could figure out what to tell Eira together. Eira loved Betty. She thought the world of her but he didn’t want to get Eira’s hopes up that Betty was staying, because Betty would be going back to America when her time was up here.
He quickly got dressed and then checked on Betty. She was still fast asleep. He slipped out of the room, shutting his door and headed downstairs, just as the front door opened.
“Uncle Axel?” Eira called out.
Axel held up his hand. “Betty is upstairs sleeping.”
Eira grinned. “Oh, really?”
Axel crossed his arms. “She just got in from Kulusuk.”
“Was she helping with the earthquake victims?” Eira asked as she set her bag down.
“She was.”
“I want to ask her about that. My science project is all about earthquakes and tsunamis. I would like to get her opinion about the medical needs in the after...” Eira winced in pain as she tried to hang up her jacket.
“Are you okay?” Axel asked.
“Just woman’s stuff.” She winced again, her face pale. “It’s been about a month, I suppose. I guess it’s starting again.”
“Do you want a heating pad?” Axel asked.
“Yeah.” Eira was doubled over and a bunch of warning bells went off in Axel’s head.
Eira sat down on the couch and Axel brought her a heating pad, plugging it in. Once she sat back she perked up, but he still wasn’t convinced that it was normal pain.
“I’m sure that Betty would be happy to answer your questions when she gets up.”
“Good,” Eira said and she flicked on the television, keeping the volume down low. Axel left the living room and went back upstairs to check on Betty. She was sitting up in bed, holding the comforter to her chest.
“How long was I out?”
“Not long, maybe an hour. Did Eira wake you up?”
“I think so,” Betty said wearily. “It’s okay, I should get back to my place.”
“I’ll drive you back home, but Eira wants to talk to you.”
Betty was pulling on her clothes. “Oh?”
“About her science project. She’s doing a project on earthquakes and their aftermath. She learned you were in Kulusuk.”
“I’d be happy to help her.”
Betty finished getting dressed.
The silence between them was a bit awkward.
“So what happens now?” Betty asked, breaking the tension.
“We go on as normal. I have to stay in Iceland and you have to go back to New York. There are no strings.”
“Good. Good. I hope we can still see each other while I’m here...as friends.”
Axel smiled gently and touched her cheek. “I would like that.”
I would like more, only he didn’t say that thought out loud. There could never be more with them. This was all he could ever have with Betty and he had to get used to the idea.
“What did you tell Eira when she learned I was here?”
He laughed softly. “I think she figured it out, but I told her you were sleeping because you’d been in Kulusuk. That’s right before she doubled over in excruciating pain. She says it’s her time of the month.”
Betty’s brow furrowed. “Excruciating pain?”
“She says it’s been happening for a day or so. She’s downstairs with a heating pad. Maybe you could take a look?”
“Of course.”
They’d walked down a few steps when Axel heard the sound of someone retching and screaming in agony.
He was downstairs in a flash and found Eira in the fetal position on the floor.
Betty dropped down to face Eira. “Eira, sweetie, talk to me.”
“It hurts,” she cried.
“I know it does, sweetie, but you need to tell me how long this has been going on.”
“A few days. Crampy pain, nausea.”
Betty checked her radial pulse. “It’s weak. Call an ambulance. I think she has adnexal torsion.”
Axel’s stomach twisted. “She’s too young for that. She just started her cycle.”
“It happens during the onset. It’s uncommon, but it does happen and I need to get her to the hospital to do an ultrasound.”
Axel nodded and dialed emergency services.
Betty was trying to keep Eira calm, but Axel could tell that she was just as worried as he was feeling. The ambulance came and he opened the door for the paramedics. It was Stellan and his partner.
“Dr. Sturlusson,” Stellan said and then Axel saw Stellan’s eyes light up when his gaze landed on Betty. “Dr. Jacinth, what seems to be the trouble?”
“Acute, persistent abdominal pain in the lower left quadrant. Accompanied by nausea, a low systolic. I will ride with you in the ambulance. She’s my patient.”
Stellan nodded and Betty stepped back as Stellan and his partner got Eira on a gurney and then got an IV with a bolus of fluids and painkillers started on Betty’s direction.
Betty climbed into the ambulance with Eira.
“I’ll be there shortly,” Axel said as he locked up.
Betty nodded. The ambulance doors shut and then took off. There were neighbors out, including Mrs. Ingborn. The woman had tears in her eyes.
Axel crossed the lane. “It’s probably nothing, but she’s got the best doctors watching her.”
Mrs. Ingborn nodded. “Please keep us posted.”
Axel nodded and then returned to his SUV. He started the car and went as fast as he could to the hospital. The ambulance had already arrived and he entered through the emergency-room doors to find his father pacing and shouting.
His father turned on him.
“Where were you when Eira came in with suspected adnexal torsion?”
Axel pushed past his father and found out what exam room she’d been taken to. His father followed him.
“How could you not see the signs?” his father shouted.
Axel spun around. “Be quiet!”
“What?”
“You heard me.” Axel left his father standing there sputtering. It felt good to tell him off, even if it wasn’t everything he wanted to say to him, but he didn’t want to deal with his father’s attitude. Not now when Eira was ill.
An adnexal torsion, or twisted ovary, was rare but it was serious. She’d been feeling crampy for days. Hopefully there was no necrotic tissue and if there was a growth in her ovary, which was a cause of a twisted ovary, it was benign.
Eira was only fourteen. She didn’t deserve this.
And he couldn’t help but think of Eira’s mother who had died from an ovarian cancer only four months into a miraculous pregnancy. She’d refused to terminate and thankfully Eira was born safely. Soon after Magdalene had held her daughter for the first time, she had passed. The cancer had spread into her lungs.
Axel paced outside the exam-room doors, the curtains drawn to protect Eira’s privacy as they did an exam.
Betty came out of the room, shutting the door behind her. Her expression was grim.
“It’s adnexal torsion, isn’t it?” Axel asked and he felt as if he might throw up.
“It is,” Betty said grimly. “And there’s a mass, but I won’t know anything until I go in there. You’re her guardian, can you sign the consent forms at the nursing station and I’ll prep her for a laparoscopic surgery?”
Axel nodded. “Of course.”
Betty slipped back into the room.
Axel couldn’t think straight.
He just hoped the tumor was benign. He’d already lost Calder, he couldn’t lose Calder’s daughter too. He’d promised to take care of her.
Axel signed the forms and by the time he’d finished filling out all the paperwork, he was able to go into the exam room to be with Eira until they took her to surgery.
Betty had already left to prep for surgery.
He stood in the door. Tears were stinging his eyes as he stared at the last living connection that he had to his beloved late brother. She was so pale and wincing in pain in her sleep. They had sedated her to help with her anxiety and her pain.
Axel took a deep breath and sat down next to Eira’s bed. He took her hand that didn’t have the IV in it and held it.
He had a sense that someone was looking at them.
Axel looked up to see his father standing in the doorway.
Eira stirred. “Grandfather?”
His father didn’t say anything.
“Grandfather, is that you?”
Still his father didn’t respond and Axel watched in sadness and horror as his father turned away from his granddaughter’s cries for comfort.
“I’m scared, Grandfather!”
“I’m here,” Axel whispered gently. He climbed into bed beside his niece. She was still groggy from the medicine they’d given her. She clung to him.
“I’m scared, Uncle Axel. I don’t want to die. Don’t leave me.”
“I’m here. I’ll always be here.”
Eira began to weep. “My father said the same to me, but he wasn’t.”
“I know, but I am here. I promise you. I’m here and you’ll be fine.”
Eira nodded and her crying slowed down. “I love you, Uncle Axel,” she whispered before the medicine that she had been given to help her sleep did its job again. Axel laid her gently against the pillows, brushing her red curls off her forehead.
He wiped her tears gently. “I love you too, Eira. I’m sorry I’m not your father, but I love you and I will be here for you. Always.”
“We’re ready for her,” Betty said from the doorway.
He was embarrassed to be caught crying over his niece.
He nodded. “Take care of her.”
“I promise I will. As surgeons we’re taught to tell the families of our patients that we can’t promise much, but I promise you, Axel, that she will be fine. You have my word.”
Axel crossed the room and kissed the top of her head. He wanted to pull Betty closer, but he didn’t want her to have to change her scrubs.
“Thank you,” he whispered.
She nodded and the porters came in to wheel Eira away.
Betty walked alongside them.
All Axel could do was stand in the hall and watch the last piece of his late brother be wheeled away. He felt so helpless.
Just as he had when his brother had died.
When his brother had slipped from his hands.
His heart was being torn in two and he was lost.
Completely lost and powerless, just like that day two years ago and he hated that. He hated this feeling. And once again he hated himself for surviving, because Calder would be stronger. Calder could have handled this and he wasn’t sure that he could, but he didn’t have a choice.
So he did what every person waiting for their loved ones did. He went to the waiting room and paced.
Hating to be on this side of the surgical-wing doors.
* * *
Betty was scrubbing her hands and going through the procedure. She’d done several adnexal torsions of the ovary. Usually by the time they came to her through the emergency room in New York there was necrotic tissue and she hadn’t been able to save the ovary.
She was just hoping that with Eira it was caught early enough and that the mass she’d seen on the ultrasound was benign, because if it was malignant then she would have to perform an oophorectomy and then consult an oncologist about treatment.
Eira was too young.
Of course Eira’s mother had been too young when she passed and although Betty didn’t know what kind of cancer killed Eira’s mother, she couldn’t help but wonder if it was related to this. Eira looked so small under the draping on the surgical table.
Tears stung Betty’s eyes and she swallowed the emotions that were threatening to overtake her so she could focus and save Eira’s life.
You’ve got this.
When she closed her eyes she could see the broken expression on Axel’s face as he’d watched his niece being wheeled away from him. The memory only strengthened her resolve to see Eira through this.
She finished her scrubbing and headed into the operating room, her scrub nurse helping her into a surgical gown and gloves. Dr. Einnarsson, the surgical resident, was waiting near a table with the laparoscopic equipment.
Betty felt as if someone was staring at her and she glanced up at the gallery to see Axel standing in the shadows. Their gazes locked and she nodded, letting him silently know that she had this.
Betty stepped up to the table.
“Eira Calderdóttir, aged fourteen, about to undergo an exploratory laparoscopic procedure because of suspected adnexal torsion. A mass was seen on the transvaginal ultrasound that was approximately four millimeters. Dr. Einarrsson, will you make the correct incisions for a laparoscopic procedure of the left ovary?”
Dr. Einarrsson nodded. “Yes, Dr. Jacinth. Scalpel.”
She glanced back at Axel, who was watching Dr. Einarsson closely.
Once Dr. Einarsson was finished Betty was able to use the laparoscope to see the ovaries clearly.
Thank God.
There was no necrotic tissue, but the ovary was twisted and there was a small mass growing at the end.
Dr. Einarsson took over the camera portion of the laparoscope as Betty untwisted the ovary and then moved to excise the mass.
It was delicate work, but she was successful. Once she had safely packaged the mass she handed it to an intern.
“Take that to pathology. It’s a rush. I need the results before I can proceed. I can’t wait days. I need it now.”
“Yes, Dr. Jacinth.” The intern rushed out of the operating room. Now was the hard part of the surgery.
Waiting.
Was the mass benign or malignant?
Betty held up her arms so as to not contaminate them. She looked back at the gallery and Axel was leaning against the glass, his eyes closed and he was murmuring to himself. A lump formed in her throat and she tore her gaze away and looked back down at Eira, tape on her beautiful eyes to keep her eyelids shut.
So young.
It was a lifetime before the intern returned. “It’s benign, Dr. Jacinth.”
Betty closed her eyes, tears threatening to spill down her face, but she held it back and looked up to see Axel on his knees, his hands over his face, weeping.
“Well, let’s repair the ovary and close her up,” Betty said brightly.
Eira was going to live. She’d have to be watched and monitored in case this happened again, but the mass was benign. She didn’t have cancer and for Betty that was the greatest news in the entire world.
* * *
Betty watched as they took Eira out of the operating room, and then peeled off her surgical gloves and mask. She sat down at a table with a computer and typed up her operative report.
Axel had left the gallery once the laparoscopes were removed and they were closing her up with paper sutures. He was probably on his way to the post-anesthesia care unit to sit with Eira. She would check on them both when she had done her operative report.
“Dr. Jacinth?”
Betty looked up to see Axel’s father, Dr. Sturlusson, in the door between the scrub room and the operating room.
“Dr. Sturlusson, are you here to inquire about Eira?”
A strange expression crossed his face. “I suppose.”
It was cold and Betty was taken aback by it. “The mass was benign and the ovary was saved. I did not have to perform an oophorectomy.”
“Good.” But Dr. Sturlusson’s expression was blank and unreadable.
“That’s not why you’re here, is it?” Betty asked.
“No, there’s a surgeon here from New York who has come to see you. Dr. Welling is waiting in your office.”
Betty’s stomach dropped to the soles of her shoes. “Dr. Welling?”
Dr. Sturlusson nodded. “He is the head of general and trauma at your hospital in New York, is he not?”
“Yes,” Betty said dryly.
“Well, I told him you were in surgery and that you’d come as soon as it was over.”
“Good,” Betty said, but she didn’t feel easy about this. Why had Thomas come? Why was he here? Why couldn’t he just let her go?
Dr. Sturlusson nodded and left the room.
Betty finished her operative note and then pulled off her surgical gown and scrubbed out. She didn’t take off her scrub cap as she left the surgical floor and headed up to her office. Where she really wanted to go was to the post-anesthesia care unit to check on Eira, but she had to get rid of Thomas first.
She didn’t know what he was doing in Iceland, but he was not welcome.
Deep breath.
She opened the door to her office and shut it behind her. Thomas had been pacing and when he turned around, her heart skipped a beat, but instead of feeling that sense of euphoria and heartbreak she was used to, she just felt annoyance that he was here.
“Thomas, I’m surprised to see you here and, on that note, what are you doing here?”
Thomas smiled at her, the way he did that had always made her weak in the knees. “You’re starting to sound like these people. So straight and to the point. Aren’t you happy to see me?”
“No,” Betty said and she crossed her arms. “Aren’t you supposed to be on your honeymoon?”
“I am, but there’s been a problem at the hospital and I had to come home early and deal with it.”
“I don’t see you dealing with it as you’re here standing in front of me,” Betty said.
“Come on, Betty, don’t be like that.”
“What’s going on, Thomas? I don’t have time for this. I have a patient to check on in the post-anesthesia care unit.”
“A high-profile patient that we’ve both worked on has come into the hospital and I need you. You’re the best at laparoscopic surgery.”
That was the first time he’d ever admitted it. She did excel when it came to laparoscopic surgery.
“Is it Jemima Whiting, the senator’s little girl?” Betty asked.
“It is.”
Jemima was a ten-year-old cancer survivor. She had colitis when she was seven and a J-pouch placed when part of the colon was removed. Jemima had survived stomach cancer and Betty had been there every step of the way. Jemima’s first surgery had been the first time Betty had used a laparoscope.
Betty adored Jemima and her parents. It was Jemima’s struggles that had formed the basis of Senator Whiting’s platform and he continued to fight for free health care. When Jemima was hospitalized the press noticed. Betty was pretty sure that the press was probably camped outside the hospital now and since Betty was the best at laparoscopic surgery Thomas had come to get her. But he would take the credit, as always.
If it were any other patient, he wouldn’t have come, but she’d bet that the senator asked for her personally.
“Okay, I will come over and perform her surgery, because it’s Jemima, but once I’m done the surgery I need to return here and finish out my contract.”
“Actually, Dr. Sturlusson released you from your contract.”
“What?” Betty gasped.
“I told him that I needed you back to head up our new laparoscopic program at the hospital and the surgeon from Reykjavik wants to return. Dr. Sturlusson completely understood and knew that you couldn’t pass up this opportunity.”
The idea of heading up a laparoscopic program for surgical residents in New York was tempting, but Dr. Sturlusson and Thomas had no right to decide this for her.
What if she didn’t want to go?
“What opportunity?”
Betty spun around to see Axel hovering in the door. She’d thought she’d shut the door when she’d come to confront Thomas, but she hadn’t.
“Who are you?” Thomas asked rudely.
“Dr. Axel Sturlusson,” Axel replied coldly. “And you are?”
“Dr. Thomas Welling. I’m Head of Trauma and General Surgery in New York at the hospital Betty works at.”
Axel’s gaze flicked to her briefly. “And you’re leaving?”
“Yes, but—”
“Good luck to you, then,” Axel snapped.
“Axel!” Betty went to leave, but Thomas held her back.
“Betty, we have to go. Our flight leaves soon.”
“Let go of me!” She snatched her arm back and left her office, chasing after Axel. “Axel, wait!”
He turned around, his expression like stone. He didn’t say anything to her as she approached him.
“I was going to tell you.”
“That you’re going back? You don’t need to. I heard from Dr. Welling,” he replied, his voice hard and cold.
“I’m going back to help a patient of mine and then I was planning to come back...”
“Until you were offered an opportunity you couldn’t pass up. I get it. When Thomas comes calling you go running.” He moved closer, his eyes dark. “You told me you were trying to get your life back on track, to step out of his shadow, but you’re not doing that. He’ll always have this hold on you.”
It was as if she’d been slapped. Tears stung her eyes. She was going to tell him that his father had released her from her contract before she’d even accepted, but she doubted that Axel would believe her and she was so hurt by what he’d said.
“That’s not true,” she said, her voice shaking with anger and sadness.
She realized she had let herself fall in love again with another man who was going to hurt her.
“You should take the job in New York. The head of a laparoscopic program is an amazing opportunity. I wish you well.”
“You could come with me,” she said.
“I have Eira. I can’t leave.”
“Because you’re afraid to!” she snapped at him. “You let all this supposed baggage of Eira, of your PTSD, of your brother’s death hold you back. The guilt of surviving when your brother didn’t. Not all women think that’s a burden. Not all women are like Freya.”
“At least I have a legitimate excuse for letting something hold me back. What you’re doing is pathetic.”
Betty slapped him; it shocked her that she could be angry enough to strike him. She turned on her heel and left him behind without another word.
She should’ve known better than to let herself fall for another surgeon. To open up her heart and let someone in.
She was better off on her own.