CHAPTER TWELVE

I SAT IN my truck in the Bay Mills Casino parking lot, looking out at the lights on a freighter anchored across the bay. There must be a big storm coming, I thought. They’re waiting for it to blow through before they make their last run of the season.

At least they had a reason to be sitting there doing nothing. With some idea of how long they would wait until they began moving again.

I picked up the cell phone. In the darkness it gave off an eery green glow. If I call his house and he’s there, I thought, then I can just stop this nonsense and go home. I’ll save his ass-kicking until tomorrow. But if I call his house and he’s not home, then I just end up getting Mrs. Fulton even more frantic.

Please, Uttley, pick up the phone. He didn’t.

“Alex, is that you? Did you find him?” It was Mrs. Fulton.

“Not yet, Mrs. Fulton, but he was just here at the casino. I’m sure he’s fine.”

“Where is he now?”

“He’s probably on the way home right now,” I said. “I’m going to swing by a couple more places, just to make sure.”

“I have a bad feeling, Alex,” she said. “I told you that already, didn’t I? I’d really like you to find him immediately.”

“There’s no need to worry, Mrs. Fulton,” I said. “Can you please put Mr. Uttley on the phone?”

“Why do you want to talk to him?” she said. “Is there something you aren’t telling me?”

“No, Mrs. Fulton.”

“Something has happened, hasn’t it?” The command in her voice finally giving way.

“No, Mrs. Fulton, I swear, everything is okay. I just want to talk to Lane for a minute.”

“Alex, I’m here,” Uttley’s voice came on. “What is it?”

“Lane,” I said, taking a couple beats to calm myself down, “will you please make sure you answer the phone next time?”

“Of course, Alex. I’m sorry, she beat me to it.”

“You have my cellular number, right? Give me a call if he comes home. I’m going to go check a few more places.”

I didn’t feel much like doing that, but I didn’t see much choice. I knew he was probably sitting in a bar somewhere, feeling sorry for himself. All that talk about being a new man, it lasted, what? Seven days? I should leave the guy alone, I thought. Let him crawl home in the morning, and then tomorrow just tell him to look in the phone book under Gamblers Anonymous. But I can’t do that. I promised Mrs. Fulton I’d find him.

And that feeling. That little tickle up and down my back. I kept wishing that it would go away. It wouldn’t.

I stopped in at the two bars in Brimley. Then I headed back east toward the Soo and stopped in at the Mariner’s Tavern. I knew that had been his bar back when he was placing bets with Tony Bing. They had a good Saturday night crowd in the place, but no Edwin.

There’s got to be something like twenty bars in Sault Ste. Marie. I hit every one of them I knew of, and even found a few new ones. I looked for his silver Mercedes in the parking lots first, then took a quick look inside just in case he had left his car somewhere else. I did that myself a few times back in Detroit, after I left the force and my wife left me. I’d start at one bar and sit there over a drink for a while until it didn’t feel like the right place to be anymore. Then I’d go to the next one. By the end of the night I was walking through the darkness, just aiming myself at the next bright light down the street. I’d have to go find my car the next morning.

When I had run out of bars in the Soo, I stopped at the Kewadin Casino again, looked over all the tables. I asked a couple pit bosses if they had seen him there that night. They hadn’t.

On a hunch I decided to go down to St. Ignace, check out the casino down there. It was a good hour’s drive south, but at least it kept me moving. I took I-75 all the way down, crossed the line into Mackinac County. It was almost midnight by then, not many cars on the road. I saw a car with a deer tied on the back, lifeless eyes staring at me as I passed. The glow of a cigarette in the passenger’s side window.

I found the casino in St. Ignace, another one of the Sault tribe’s. I walked blinking in the sudden brightness, looked at every table, cursed myself for wasting my time with such a stupid idea, got back in the truck, and headed right back to the Soo. Another hour of driving, the wind picking up, bringing the storm in from the lake.

God, I am so tired. Why am I doing this?

My eyes were burning. I felt like somebody had hit me with a bag of sand. But I had to find him. Not just for Mrs. Fulton, but for myself. I had to know that he was safe.

The phone rang. It was Uttley.

“Alex,” he said. “Any sign of him?”

“Not yet,” I said. “I’m going to keep looking. How’s Mrs. Fulton?”

“I think she might be asleep finally. No, wait, I think I hear her. I better go. Good luck, Alex.”

I hit the Kewadin Casino one more time. They were open all night, after all. He could walk right back in any time. I got some funny looks this time. I must have seemed like a stray dog, coming back again and again and just wandering through the tables.

The bars would be closing soon, but I knew there were a few places open in Canada. I crossed the bridge, paid the toll, pulled into the customs lane. The man in the booth asked me all the usual questions. No, there are no drugs or firearms in the vehicle. I shouldn’t be in Canada more than an hour or two. Before he let me go he asked me if I had been drinking that night. I said I had not. He looked me in my bloodshot eyes like he wanted to make an issue out of it, but then he finally just let me go through.

I looked in every bar I could find in Soo Canada. They didn’t have any casinos in Canada, but they did have a few places with exotic dancing. That’s what they called it, anyway. The women didn’t look very exotic to me, but then I wasn’t exactly in the right mood for it.

It was almost three o’clock when I came back over the bridge. I could see the Algoma Steel foundry below me, the fires burning even at this hour of the night. The wind was getting stronger. A gust hit the truck sideways and for a moment I thought it would blow me right off the bridge.

I stopped at the Kewadin Casino one more time. It was the only place in the Soo still open. The crowds had thinned out but there were still more people gambling at that hour than you would expect. There are no clocks in a casino, of course. No windows. Nothing to tell you that you’re spending the entire night throwing your money away.

I headed west. I could barely keep the truck on the road. My eyes were refusing to focus. I made myself stop at the reservation, take one more look in the Bay Mills Casino. Vinnie had finished his shift and gone home.

And then as one last futile gesture, I drove up through the reservation to the Kings Club. It was a tiny little place, nothing more than one room with some slot machines in it. Maybe that’s what hitting bottom would look like for him, I thought. Just standing there feeding quarters into a slot machine at four in the morning.

He wasn’t there. He wasn’t anywhere.

I went home. I just couldn’t face seeing Mrs. Fulton yet. Let her sleep a couple more hours, assuming that she got to sleep at all. Maybe Edwin will show up on his own, anyway. By the time the sun comes up, maybe he’ll be home on the couch, wrapped up in a blanket and drinking hot chocolate. And I’ll actually be glad to see him before I remember what he put me through tonight.

When I was in my cabin, I called Dave on the radio and apologized for missing most of the night there.

“No problem,” he said. “It was another quiet one. No sign of anybody. Chief Maven called me, though. He’s not real happy with you.”

“I’m too tired to name all the places on his body he can blow it out of, Dave. Good night.” I lay down on the bed. I was asleep before I could even think of fighting it.

 

THE PHONE RANG. The sound gave me a heart attack. When this is all over, I thought, I’m going to get rid of my phone forever. If somebody wants to reach me, they’ll have to come and find me.

It was light out. I looked at my watch. It was just after seven o‘clock. I rubbed my eyes as the phone rang again, got up, and looked at the readout on the trace machine. The call was coming from the Fultons’. I hoped to God it was Edwin calling to apologize.

“Alex? It’s Lane.” Uttley paused for a long moment. I could hear a faint noise in the background. It sounded like a glass breaking on the floor. “He didn’t come home.”

“All right,” I said. “I think we should call the police.”

“Did you find any other trace of him last night?”

“No, not since I talked to you after I checked at Bay Mills. They said he was there around dinnertime.”

“Alex, I’m sure he’ll show up today,” he said. “I’m sure he just had to sleep it off somewhere.”

“I hope so,” I said. “Now go tell Mrs. Fulton that.”

“I will,” he said. “Are you going to call the police? Or do you want me to?”

“Dave might still be here,” I said. “He usually calls me on the radio before he leaves. I’ll have him call it in. I don’t feel like talking to Maven right now.”

“Are you going to come over here?”

“Yes,” I said. “Let me just clean up a little bit. I’ll be over as soon as I can.”

“Take your time, Alex. We’re not going anywhere.” I could hear yelling in the background now as he hung up.

I caught Dave on the radio just as he was getting ready to leave.

“I’ll call it in right now,” he said. “I don’t think the twenty-four-hour rule applies here.”

“It’s probably nothing,” I said. “But under the circumstances …” I didn’t even know how to finish the sentence.

“Don’t worry, Mr. McKnight. We’ll find him.”

I signed off and just sat there looking out the window for a few minutes. Then I took a hot shower and shaved and put on some clean clothes. I almost felt human again. If something happened to Edwin last night, I said to myself, if he got to him, then he would have called me to tell me about it. I had to believe that. I had to hold onto that hope.

On my way to the Fultons’ house, I stopped in at the Glasgow for a cup of coffee. As I went in, I looked up at the clouds building in the western sky. It wouldn’t take long for the storm to hit us.

Jackie came out of the kitchen and poured me a cup. “Morning, Alex,” he said. “You look pretty used up. Whatever happened last night, anyway? After that phone call, you ran out of here like a crazy man.”

“Ah, Edwin’s disappeared,” I said. “He fell off the wagon, went and blew his wad at the casinos again. He’s probably just too embarrassed to show his face.”

Jackie shook his head. “That bastard. If he wasn’t so goddamned rich, I might feel sorry for him.”

“He’s not so bad, Jackie.”

“Whatever you say, Alex.” He put the pot of coffee back on the burner. “Hey, by the way, somebody left a letter here for you.”

My heart stopped. “A letter?”

“It was taped to the door this morning when I got in.”

“How do you know it’s for me?”

“It’s got your name on the envelope, genius. Most people know you spend a lot of time here. I didn’t think anything of it.”

“Jackie,” I said, trying to maintain my composure, “where is it?”

“Let’s see,” he said. He looked around behind the bar. “I put it here somewhere.”

“Jackie, this could be important …”

“Relax, Alex, I know it’s here.” He looked through a pile of papers next to the cash register. “Now where the hell did I put it?”

“Jackie, please think.” I tried to swallow.

“Oh for God’s sake,” he said. He fished through the front pockets of his white apron. “It’s right here.” He pulled out an envelope and set it down in front of me.

There were four capital letters typed on the front. ALEX.

“Jackie,” I said. My face felt hot. I could barely breathe. “Do you have a pair of rubber gloves?”

“Probably,” he said. “In the kitchen.”

“Go get them please.”

He went back and rummaged through the kitchen, leaving me there to stare at the envelope. He finally came back out with a pair of yellow rubber gloves. “What do you want these for?”

“Just give them to me.” I took the gloves from him and put them on. “I’ll need a plastic bag, too.” My voice sounded like it was coming from somewhere else.

“What’s the matter, Alex?”

I didn’t say anything. I just opened the envelope slowly and unfolded the single piece of paper that was inside.

ALEX

 

It hurts me so much to see you building a wall around yourself with a policeman hiding in the bushes like a cat waiting for a mouse. I had to ask myself why is this happening? You know I am only here to serve you. How many other mousetraps do you have that I have not even seen yet? I was sad for two days until it came to me that you have been poisoned against me. I should have seen from the beginning that he is no good for you. He is like Judas waiting to betray you with the kiss of death before you are handed over to the enemy. I made up my mind that I had to be a brave mouse one more time and remove the betrayer. It was not so easy because he knew who I am and he tried to summon all the forces of darkness to his aid but I was stronger and he did not have a chance in the end. You are free of him now and I have found a new way to remove them and not leave so much blood behind. The blood is what sends the signals. It is not the microwaves. That is my discovery. Now there is so much cold water on top of him. He will never be seen again. All that cold water Alex. Just think of all that cold water. I hope this pleases you. I think that you owe me a blessing now. Don’t you think so? I think it is finally time for us to be together.

 

Yours forever

 

ROSE

I made myself put the letter in the plastic bag. I made myself go behind the bar and pick up the phone. When Maven answered I said two things: “I have another note from him. Get out to the Glasgow Inn right now.” I couldn’t say anything else. I couldn’t say anything about Edwin. I couldn’t even say his name.

I went outside. To get away from the note, to breathe some fresh air, I don’t even know. The first angry raindrops hit me in the face. In the distance I could hear the approaching storm whipping the waves into whitecaps.

I couldn’t see the lake through the trees. But I knew it was there.

All that cold water.