Chapter Fourteen

Declan poured drink after drink while Tyrell took care of the late lunch rush. Sophia didn’t join them out front, but he couldn’t get his mind off of her. It surprised him how much he missed her. An entirely foreign feeling for him. He’d thought, for sure, the space would give him some perspective, but all it did was make him think about her more. She’d moved out last Sunday, and his house was emptier without her presence.

He’d stopped by to help her get settled in the carriage home over the garage at Adam and Meg’s, but there’d been others there, and he hadn’t really had a chance to talk to her. To be with her the way he wanted. He kept telling himself a little bit of space was good. Then maybe he could straighten himself out, make himself believe it was just a crush. Even knowing she was pregnant, his desire to just be with her hadn’t dimmed one damn bit. She kept herself so busy at the pub and said she was tired at night, but he couldn’t go much longer without talking to her. Telling her he couldn’t get her out of his head.

He needed answers. A hell of a lot of answers. A nervous stitch lodged its way into his chest, knowing that regardless of the outcome, he couldn’t just walk away. He was more than smitten, and he’d waited all these years to feel an inkling of what was inside of him now, so he damn well needed for them to take a chance on each other. He just had to make her believe him.

“You okay, man?” Tyrell unloaded the empty glasses into the dishwasher that ran from the wait staff side through the bar. Lisa had called in sick for her last three shifts. When Declan called her on it, she’d quit. Said she couldn’t work in a place she wasn’t valued. Even though he knew it wasn’t true—he damn well did value his staff—it was eating him up a little.

“Yeah. I…uh.” Uh, what? He was knee deep over a woman who was carrying another man’s child? He could barely process the idea of wanting a committed relationship with one woman, and this was so much more than that.

“Yeah you are,” Tyrell said around a deep laugh.

Declan glared at him. “Shut it.”

Tyrell just laughed harder. Chantelle was coming in early to pick up some extra hours, and the new waitresses were doing a great job. More people shuffled through the door and Dec glanced up.

“Busy day,” Ty said.

“No kidding. Brockton Point must be thirsty.” They had several specials running, and he had a feeling Sophia’s commitment to getting his social media up and running was bringing in new customers.

Declan tapped his hand on the bar and swallowed the unexpected nerves that danced around in his chest. “Hey, Ty?”

Ty looked up from loading glasses. “Yeah?”

“Are you pissed I didn’t bring you on as manager?” He hadn’t meant to hurt anyone’s feelings. Business wasn’t supposed to involve feelings, but these people were like a family to him.

“Day shifts, right?”

Dec nodded.

“Then no. I like bartending. The money is great. Now, if you want to promote me to night manager, I’d be all over that.”

Declan grinned. “I honestly don’t know how that’d be any different than you closing down the bar when you bartend. Unless you want to take on some of Sophia’s paperwork, promotional ideas, and dealing with vendors, scheduling—”

Tyrell held up a hand. “I’m happy with the status quo. And for the record, Lisa left because she wanted to. Because she didn’t get her own way. Not your fault, man.”

The pressure eased from Declan’s chest. When the door to the bar swung open again, a guy Declan didn’t recognize walked in. It happened frequently. College kids, businesses from farther out of town, and tourists frequented his place, but a good portion of Declan’s patrons were familiar.

Knowing Tyrell could handle the new customer, Declan started for the back, the need to see Sophia and spend some time with her pushing him forward.

“How’s it going?” Tyrell greeted.

“Excellent. Is Sophia Strombi around?”

Declan stopped in his tracks and turned. He took another look at the guy. Slick. Polished. Expensive suit, yuppie haircut. His jaw looked perfectly smooth, and Dec would bet money the guy didn’t have one tattoo. Probably couldn’t handle needles. Yeah. He definitely needed answers, or he’d worry every guy who walked through the door looking for her was her baby daddy. Sophia said there was no chance of reconciliation, but kids changed things. They changed everything.

Tyrell strolled over to Declan and stopped, giving him an interesting grin. “You want to go get Sophia or just mean mug this guy while I do it?”

A low sound left Declan’s throat, and he stomped back to the office. Sophia was gathering up one of the binders she loved to tote around and her bag.

Her cheeks went pink when she saw him, and she dropped the binder. A quiet curse left her lips, and when she bent to pick it up, he met her there, grabbing the book before her and taking her hand.

“I, uh, I have a meeting.”

“With some slick-haired suit?”

They stood. Her brows furrowed. “Excuse me?” She pulled her hand from his.

Hooking a thumb over his shoulder to point at the door, he answered, “There’s some yuppie-looking dude here to see you.”

“Oh. That’s probably Dan Russell. From Match More.”

Again, the pressure that built in his chest loosened, and he took a deep breath. “Sophe, we need to talk about…us…you…your…” He ran a frustrated hand through his hair. He wanted this. He just didn’t have the words to tell her how much.

Sophia stepped closer, and his breath hitched. God, she smelled good. “If you say my condition, I will cause you physical harm.” Her eyes burned with a fire he’d like to see at another time in another place.

Grinning, he tugged a lock of her hair that had fallen loose of her ponytail. “Hmm. I like that you’re so feisty. I wasn’t going to say condition, but we do need to talk.”

She sighed. “I have a meeting, and really, it’s none of your business.”

He scowled. “I want it to be my business.”

Her eyes widened. “Dec, you’re sweet and you’re sexy and you have, literally, dozens of women who would line up for the chance to be with you. But I’m kind of operating on too little sleep, too many hormones, and not enough food. I can’t do this. You don’t have to take care of me. I came home knowing I wouldn’t have anyone in my corner as far as my family was concerned. But I will. In the end, we’re blood, and they’ll want to be part of my baby’s life. You’re a really good guy, so I know you mean well, but honestly, this can’t go anywhere. Even if you are in for a relationship, you’re lying if you tell me the fact that I’m pregnant doesn’t freak you out.”

Her voice hitched, and he worried she’d cry. He knew she had a meeting, and doing her job well was important to her, so he only had a minute, tops.

He took her arms, running his thumbs over her biceps. “Can you listen to me for a second?”

She sighed again, but she nodded.

Panic and uncertainty whirled. How did he make her understand how much he wanted to take this leap with her? He didn’t even understand it himself. But he fucking missed her.

“You know how I’m a bit of a closet dork with my collections? My comics and my Lego sets?”

A small smile lifted her lips and warmed his heart. “That room is triple the size of any closet I’ve ever seen, but yes.”

“Sometimes, there’ll be these collector’s editions that I stumble on, and even though there are plenty of others I could have, or already have, it’s not the same. Because when you find something rare, something precious, it’s worth the effort it takes to make it yours.” He stared at her, nerves clawing when her face scrunched like she was trying to process his words.

“Am I the collectible here?”

Shit. He stepped back and let out a frustrated sigh. “I don’t have the words yet. But I will. I’m rushing because I know you have to meet with that guy. I don’t know how to make you understand that I want to explore what’s between us. I won’t lie to you. Ever. So yeah, the pregnancy freaks me out a bit. I mean, I’m already next door to crazy about you, and we haven’t even gone on a date. I want to see this through to know it’s more than just heat. The idea of not doing that scares me more than the idea of a baby.”

“Babies can be scary,” she admitted, making his heart clench hard and fast.

“I don’t want you to be scared. See? It’s that right there. The fact that I care less about my being scared and more about if you’re okay. About you knowing you’re not alone. I don’t have all the answers.” He ran a hand through his hair, fighting the urge to pull her close. “I miss you, Sophe. The house is too quiet without you. Have dinner with me tonight. I just want to spend some time with you.”

She took a deep breath, her eyes hard to read. “I do owe you lasagna.”

“You owe me nothing, but I’ll take it.”

She started to say something, then stopped. “I’m not sure—”

He cut her off, putting hands on her shoulders. He didn’t want to hear her say she wasn’t in the right place again. They were standing here together, and he wanted to see where that could take them. He hurried to get the rest of it out. “I feel like being with you matters more than every other treasure or collectible I’ve ever chased. Fuck. I’m totally messing this up. You’re not a possession. I don’t mean it like that. I just mean…”

She set the binder down and closed the space between them. Sophia put her hands on his cheeks, and he turned into one, breathing her in.

“You are seriously so sweet. I have no idea if what you said was romantic or a little frightening. But you practically swallowed your tongue when I said I was pregnant. Even if I could really wrap my head around the idea that you’re giving up your player lifestyle, a kid is more of a commitment than a relationship, Dec.”

Declan frowned and stepped back. “Go have your meeting.” Frustration and anger turned in his chest like heavy, rusted cogs.

Sophia tipped her head to the side. “You’re mad?”

He put his hands on his hips and dropped his head to give himself a second to think. He wasn’t doing so well with the words. When he looked back up, he saw the sadness and confusion in her eyes.

“Your parents only see you one way, right? Their little girl who didn’t conform. You’re still that little girl to them, right?”

She glanced at her watch then back up at him. “Yes.”

“Are you still the same person you were when you left?”

“No. Of course not.”

He stepped closer, leaned down. “Neither am I. You need to wrap your pretty head around that.”

Her mouth dropped open. He nudged it closed with his fingers and walked to his desk, giving her the out they both needed. When she left the room, he sighed and sank into his chair. Give him a motorcycle or a Lego set and he could put it together or take it apart, piece by piece. Blindfolded. Without instructions. Up until Sophia, he would have said he knew his way around a woman. Maybe the toy analogy hadn’t been his best. Maybe? Because there are women out there who want to be compared to the fucking Death Star?

He put his feet up on his desk, crossing his ankles. Sophia was rendering him speechless and stealing his game. He’d never had trouble talking to women. Ever. His mother said he came into the world ready to flirt with her OB. Being the owner of a bar made chatting with women easy. He never gave it any thought. More than that, he’d never been worried about where things would end up. A woman didn’t want to hook up? It didn’t bug him. If he took a woman out to eat and the conversation lagged? No worries: the next date would be better.

With the one woman who suddenly mattered to him, he was talking to her like a bumbling fool and acting like he’d never had a date in his life. Speaking of dates, you might want to ask her on one. Or ask her brother if he’s cool with it.

He dropped his feet. “Damn.” He had absolutely no training ground for the situation he was in. He wanted to more-than-date a good friend’s pregnant sister. And Marcus wasn’t talking to either of them. Which was bullshit. Marcus had sent a text to say the tasting would have to wait but wouldn’t answer Dec’s calls. He didn’t want everything on hold. Everything was tangled like a box of old Christmas lights. Yet, he couldn’t imagine backing away from Sophia. Standing up, he muttered, “This is what they mean by go big or go home, I guess.”

Since he couldn’t go home, he went out to the front of the bar.