Chapter Nineteen
For the first time in his adult life, Declan didn’t know what to do with himself. Because of a woman. He hadn’t even slept with her, and he was tangled up in knots, worrying about her. Wondering what she was doing, if she was feeling okay. If her family was treating her as they should.
Staring out at the ocean, barely able to see it through the cloud-covered moonlight, it didn’t settle him the way it normally did. He pulled his phone out of his pocket and tried calling Sophia. He hated that she didn’t answer. Things had been great since their date a few days ago, but he knew she was going to her sister’s for dinner tonight. He just wanted to hear her voice. To hear that she was okay. He knew how hard it was on her to have her family’s disapproval. What would they say about the baby when she finally told them? If they weren’t supportive… Shit. He didn’t know. All he knew was that he wanted to be what she needed. Whether she had their support or not.
He texted Adam and asked if her car was in the driveway.
Declan smiled as he sent the middle finger emoji.
Declan shoved the phone back in his pocket. Yeah. He did know where she lived and waiting around wondering was pissing him off. What if he needed to talk to her about the bar? She was his goddamn employee, and he deserved to be answered. At all hours?
“Now who’s a dick,” he muttered, grabbing his keys and his jacket.
It was close to eleven. She was probably sleeping. He’d been reading about pregnancy and how exhausted it could make a woman feel. His stomach tightened with regret, and he worried about waking her. She was off tomorrow, so she could sleep in. It was selfish, but he knew he wouldn’t sleep until he could see for himself that her family hadn’t been too hard on her.
Turning up the radio, he focused on the road and getting across town to Adam’s place. He was grateful when he saw the light on in the little apartment above the garage. She might be pissed that he’d just shown up, but at least he’d be able to see that she was okay.
He parked and felt a buzz in his pocket. He knew, without looking, that it was Adam. Knowing his friend was probably razzing him about showing up, he didn’t bother to check. Instead, he took the stairs up to the carriage house two at a time and knocked on the door before he could change his mind.
Within seconds, he heard the lock turn, and the door opened.
He frowned. “You should ask who it is before you answer the door.” He took a moment to look at her. She wore pale pink pajamas with a top that said “I’m in love with sleep.” Her hair was braided, and his fingers itched to run down the intricately woven tresses.
“You drove all the way here to tell me that?”
Her eyes were tired and, worse, sad. When she stepped toward him, he met her halfway, closing the door behind him. Without a word, he scooped her up against him and hugged her. All of the unrest and worry shifted and settled inside of him. Pieces of a puzzle fell into place exactly where they belonged, making him feel like he could actually breathe deeply. Fully and completely.
Her arms went around his neck, and she didn’t say a word, but he felt her melt into him, and his heart did this weird twinge thing he hadn’t experienced before. Since he didn’t want to set her down or be any farther away from her than he had to, he hooked an arm under her legs and scooped her up against him before walking to her couch and sitting down. Sophia didn’t lift her face from his neck. The feel of her breath on his skin was distracting him, but holding her was all he needed, and that humbled him.
They sat there, him listening to the sound of their combined breaths, enjoying the feel of her in his arms. He wouldn’t push. He just wanted to be the one she held onto like this.
Sophia shifted in his lap, and he had to think about being friends with her brother and knowing her family to keep things from growing uncomfortable.
“What are you doing here?” she whispered.
“This okay?” Though he liked the braid, he started to remove the band, and when she nodded, he used his fingers to untangle the strands, letting her hair trail between his fingers. “I needed to see you.”
“You’d be better off if you didn’t. If you walked away now.” She still didn’t lift her head.
“We’ll agree to disagree.” He squeezed his one arm tighter while he finished undoing the braid so he could feel her hair over his arm and run his fingers through it.
“They know I’m pregnant.”
His gut clenched. If they’d handled it properly, Sophia wouldn’t be cuddled in his lap right now. Which meant they hadn’t supported her the way they should, and that clawed at him, filling him with a strange desire to protect her and show her that she wasn’t alone.
Because he couldn’t think of the words to convey all the feelings rioting against his rib cage, threatening to consume him, he went with the obvious. “You aren’t alone. I’m here.”
A hard knock came at the door, jolting them both. Sophia moved to get off his lap, but he stood, then settled her into the corner of the couch. He pressed a kiss to her forehead and put a hand on her shoulder when she tried to stand.
“Stay here. I’ll see who it is.”
He expected her to argue, but she sank into the couch with such a forlorn expression it made his fucking heart ache. Who knew that he could actually physically feel another person’s pain?
Opening the door, he was surprised to see Marcus. But clearly not as surprised as his friend was to see him.
Marcus’s dark eyes glowered. “I should have known.”
Declan bit back the retort and informed his friend, “If you punch me again, I’ll punch you back.”
Marcus’s chest pumped up, his eyes narrowing. “What are you doing here?”
Declan crossed his arms over his chest. “I could ask you the same thing.”
He didn’t want to do this. He didn’t want to drive a wedge between him and one of his oldest friends, but once Marcus found out how Declan was feeling toward his little sister, that rift was going to exist anyway. At least for a while. Hell, it already did.
“I’m here to see my sister. I cannot believe you, man. She’s not some piece—”
Declan put a hand on his friend’s chest, reminding himself that this was his friend, and shoved him back a step, following him out onto the little stoop.
“Don’t finish that sentence, Marcus. Just don’t.”
Marcus looked around Dec’s shoulder, trying to peer through the frosted glass in the door.
“Why are you here?” Marcus asked again, folding his arms across his chest.
They were a similar size, and Declan knew from being in the ring with him at the gym neither of them would go down easy. He didn’t want to fight, but the sadness in Sophia’s eyes haunted him. He loved this family. He’d felt like part of it when he was growing up. They were better than this, and their daughter should damn well know they had her back.
“I’m here because she needs somebody to show some compassion, and clearly it isn’t going to be someone from your family.”
Marcus practically growled. “You don’t know my family.”
Declan’s eyes widened, and he blanched. “Like hell I don’t. I know you. And I know your family. You guys are tearing her up, and I’m not letting you in to do it some more.”
“You have no idea what’s going on. This is none of your business.” He started to say more, then his mouth dropped open, and he pushed forward, grabbing Declan’s shirt. “Are you the father?”
“Jesus, man,” he said, pulling out of Marcus’s grip. “You think I wouldn’t have told you that? Fuck. No. I’m not. But I damn well want to be the man she needs.” He tried to soften the blow of the next words. “I’m falling for her, man. And I’m sorry if that hurts you or us, but I can’t help it. If I am interfering, I’m doing it on her behalf.”
Marcus’s jaw hung open, and he eyed Dec like he didn’t recognize him. “She ask you to do that?”
Declan shook his head. “You don’t know your sister better than that?”
His friend remained quiet, but he closed his mouth and rubbed the back of his neck.
“The fact that she’s not out here telling me to mind my own damn business should tell you how wrecked you guys left her. She came home because she needed her family.”
“She came home because she got knocked up, not for us. She wasn’t here when we needed her.”
“That’s not fair, man. You know it isn’t. You don’t care any less about any of them because we’re doing the beer thing. The restaurant wasn’t enough for her. What’s wrong with that? How long are you guys going to punish her? She’s been through enough.”
Marcus’s glare went hard again. “She chose to leave. Coming back because she got dumped doesn’t make her daughter of the year.”
Declan shook his head. How much of this was Marcus, her brother, as opposed to the son trying to do what his father wanted him to do? Declan’s heart ached for all of them, but the biggest piece of it—friendship or not—belonged to Sophia.
“This isn’t okay, Declan. She’s my sister. And she’s pregnant. Not really a candidate for one of your—”
Declan’s hands curled into fists. He did not want to punch his friend right in the face, but Marcus was getting closer and closer to deserving it. “Don’t say it. Do not say another word.” A door closed somewhere and before he could say anything, Adam was bounding up the steps.
“What’s going on?”
Both men looked at Adam, who wore a pair of low-slung lounge pants, a hoodie, and untied boots.
“I came to see my sister. This idiot is playing protector like this is some sort of game,” Marcus said.
Declan growled, and Adam placed a hand on Declan’s chest. “Knock it off. You two aren’t comparing sizes in my yard, so cut it out. My son and wife are inside, and your sister is in there, Marcus.”
“You think it’s okay he’s in there with my pregnant sister at almost midnight? That he had her staying at his house and didn’t tell me? That he’s not surprised she’s pregnant and didn’t tell me that either?”
Adam’s mouth dropped open, then he shook his head and put his palms up. “None of my business. Marcus, how long have you known Dec?”
“It’s looking like too long right now.”
That was a punch in the gut and not at all what Declan wanted. He frowned at his friend.
“In the entire time you’ve known him, you ever see him treat a woman poorly? Ever seen a woman who held a grudge against him?”
Marcus said nothing.
“You ever seen him be disloyal?”
Marcus glared at Adam. “She’s my sister.”
Declan started to speak, but Adam cut him off with a hard look and then stared at his other friend.
“He’s one of your oldest friends. You know him. Know what he’s like. You think he’d go down this road if he wasn’t all in?”
Declan felt the urge to hug Adam even as his words sank in and tied knots of alarm around his heart. All in. They hadn’t even slept together yet, and he was this far gone.
Marcus shoved his hands in his pockets. “She’s my sister. I love her even if I’m disappointed in her.”
Anger pushed him a step back. “If disappointment is what you feel, then you aren’t looking properly and should stay away from her until you can see straight.”
Marcus nodded. “Maybe I should. From her and you.” He clapped Adam on the shoulder and took the stairs down to the driveway.
Adam stared at Dec as the sound of Marcus starting up his car cut through the air.
Dec shoved his hands through his hair and attempted to pace the small landing. He really wanted to punch something.
“I honestly never thought I’d see this happen,” Adam said quietly.
He whirled. “What?”
“You’re crazy about her. You’re crazy about a woman. And not just any woman. Little Sophia Strombi.”
His gut clenched hard. “Looks like.”
There was no use denying it. Especially if it was that obvious.
“She’s pregnant?”
Declan nodded. It wasn’t his place to say anything more.
“You sure you know what you’re doing?” Adam stared hard at his friend.
“Not a clue.”
Adam laughed. “Sounds about right.” He clapped Dec on the shoulder and went back down the stairs into his house.
Declan took a few steadying breaths and let himself back into Sophia’s apartment. She was standing in the tiny entryway, her arms wrapped around herself. Declan looked her over, wanting to pull her against him again. And keep her there.
“You don’t even know what happened,” she said.
Declan frowned. “Huh?”
“I heard you guys arguing. I should have interrupted, but honestly, I just don’t have anything else in me tonight. I can’t fight anymore.”
Walking closer, he cupped her jaw. “You shouldn’t have to fight.”
“But you don’t even know what happened, and you took my side.”
His heart twisted at the tremor in her voice. “Baby.”
Sophia stepped into him and wrapped her arms around his waist, resting her head against his chest. He held her tight, wishing he could take away her turmoil.
“No one ever takes my side. I know it’s because I screw up so much, but still.”
Leaning back, he tipped her chin up with both hands. “What if the choices you’ve made have landed you exactly where you’re supposed to be?”
She gave a rough laugh. “Pregnant and alone?”
She was vulnerable, and Declan didn’t know how he knew, but he figured the only way to make her really see what was happening, for him at least, was to be vulnerable as well.
“No. Here with me. Pregnant, but not alone.”
“Dec.”
She stared at him, and his heart turned over in his chest. He didn’t want to screw this up. He couldn’t. Not with her.
“It’s going to be okay, babe. No matter what. I’m not pressuring you. You’ve had enough of that in your life. But I’m here. For whatever you need. Even if all you need is a friend.” The last word came out rough because he couldn’t imagine that being the extent of their relationship.
Tears filled her eyes, and he stroked a hand down her hair.
“I could use a friend,” she whispered.
His heart cracked, but he nodded. Whatever she needed.
“A friend who makes me feel like I matter. Even just a little.”
“Sophia,” he said, frowning at her. “You matter a whole hell of a lot. To everyone. Just because your family isn’t dealing well with all of this doesn’t mean they don’t love you.”
She gave a curt nod. “I know. I don’t want to talk about them right now.”
“Okay. You should probably turn in. Have you eaten?”
She smiled at him. “I have. And I’m not tired. I want to talk about our friendship.”
He smiled and tried to lead her to the couch. When she took his hand and pulled him toward the dark hallway that went to the bedroom, he hesitated.
Sophia looked up at him. “I don’t want to be friends, Dec.”
He sighed. She was sad and not thinking straight. As much as he wanted her, it couldn’t be like this.
“Too late,” he said, keeping his tone light.
With a laugh, she closed the space between them. “Correction. I don’t want to be just friends. I have no idea how things will turn out, but tonight, I just want you.”
He couldn’t look at her and not want her, but there was so much more tumbling around in his chest that he didn’t understand or recognize. He let her lead him to the bedroom, but when she started to pull her shirt over her head, he stopped her. Pulling back the covers, he gestured for her to get in.
“Hmm. For someone with such a reputation, I kinda figured you’d have more knowledge of how this works.” She sat on the bed, and though she refused to admit it, she looked tired. Weary.
Declan stripped off his shirt, and his muscles clenched just from the way her eyes traveled over him, devouring him.
Shucking off his jeans, he ignored her obvious interest. And his own. He walked to the other side of the bed and pulled back the covers, climbed in. Sophia turned and glared at him.
“What are you doing, Dec?”
“Being what you need,” he said, pulling her arm to yank her against him. He was bigger and stronger, so he shifted them both, pulling the covers up over them, praying she slept in pajamas or that if she didn’t, she wouldn’t tell him. He didn’t think he’d be able to handle anything less than her fully clothed.
“What I need is you.”
Pulling her against his side so she had no choice but to rest her head on his chest, he kissed her forehead.
“You’ve got me. I’m here. I’m not going anywhere. I’m not having sex with you because you’re sad or upset.”
She bristled, tried to move, but he held her tighter, closer.
“I care about you, Sophia. I want to be with you. We have another date this week, and I’m not letting anything get in the way of that.”
“Uh, I’m offering to skip to the third date right now,” she said, her tone a little pissed and a lot shocked.
He chuckled. “You can probably see how much I want that. But I also want more. And since it’s the first time I ever have, you’re going to have to deal with that. It’ll be easier if we sleep together when there’s no chance you’ll regret it.”
She was quiet for so long that he wondered if she’d fallen asleep, but then her hands roamed over his chest. It felt like little jolts of fire dancing along his skin.
“Dec?”
“Hmm?”
“Can I at least have a kiss good night?”
In the dark, he found her mouth and kissed her, not even trying to hide the longing he felt. He wanted to do the right thing, but he wanted her to have no doubts about how much he needed her in every way.
When he pulled back, his eyes adjusted to the dark enough to see her looking at him.
“Sleep, babe. We’ll talk in the morning.”
“What if I don’t want to talk in the morning?” she whispered.
“Let’s see how you feel then. I’m getting my dates.”
She laughed. “Yes. You’ve earned them.”
He smiled into the dark and snuggled closer. He didn’t snuggle. He didn’t even know the word was in his goddamn vocabulary. Apparently, Sophia Strombi had the ability to turn him into someone he didn’t even recognize.
“Dec?” Her voice was sleepy and a little thick. The intimacy of the moment struck him as sexy. Probably how she’d sound in the morning. Or after making love. “Yeah?”
“Thanks.” She pressed her lips to his chest, rubbed her nose over his skin, and then relaxed completely against him.
There was a song he liked. He couldn’t remember the name of the band, but the song talked about how the singer never liked a whole list of things until he’d met this one girl. Def Leppard, “California.” It all seemed different according to the singer.
Declan had known this girl her whole life. He’d already decided before Sophia came home that he wanted to settle down and build a life with someone. But thinking it and finding the girl who he wanted that to happen with were two entirely different things. Even when he’d made the decision, he hadn’t known, for sure, that he was a forever kind of guy. Not until Sophia. Not until she showed up all steely determination and grit with an under-layer of sweetness that undid him. She made him laugh and think and want. She was smart, and he loved that little glint in her eye when she was excited about an idea. He liked the feel of his hand holding hers and the way she fit against him as if she was meant to be there. He loved the way she talked about her family with pride even though they’d dented hers. She was loyal and loving. She was what he wanted.
He wanted to be her forever.