Being around people can cause much distress for the Empath. The more disagreeable the person, the more impact they have. But it does not always have to be bad people who bring us down; our nearest and dearest friends can also cast us into turmoil.
The longer the Empath has known someone the greater effect they have on their emotional energy. As you would imagine, this could be good or bad, depending on the relationship. Knowing how to navigate our relationships will serve in offering a healthier and happier life.
You may have noticed certain friends act differently depending on their company. For example: you may have good friends whom when you spend time alone with, there is no ill effect, but put those two friends together and the energy dynamic shifts. This happens in such a way you can feel drained, angered or bullied in their collective presence. If you can relate to this, it may be advisable to see certain friends on a one-to-one basis only.
Friends’ energy and how it affects those of a Sensitive nature will change along with their age and life circumstances. If down or depressed, a friend can unintentionally take the Empath down with them. In these cases, one has to learn to unplug. We can listen and still be there for them, but in a detached way. We also have to be wary of how much time we spend with them. It may seem cruel to cut short time spent with those in need, but stay too long in the presence of a friend filled with gloom and it can trigger a big dose of Empath fatigue… more on that shortly.
When in certain friend’s company who is in emotional crisis we need to be aware of an unwanted energy drain. We all know people who deplete our energy. They are known as “Energy Vampires”. But when a friend is experiencing a rough time in life, they too can become the vampire. They are mostly unaware when they are doing it, but their energy-sucking tentacles can seek an instant uplift. If we spend too much time with them, we could end up as their vitality booster, which will leave us drained.
To avoid being a friend’s “energy-replacement-meal”, watch for any drain and where it is coming from. It will normally be in one of the four main energy centers (chakras): The sacral chakra, which is a couple of inches below the belly button, the solar-plexus chakra, mid-belly area, the heart chakra, mid-chest area, or the throat chakra situated at the front of the throat. The energy depletion can be felt as a pull or ache. Wherever you feel it, cover the area immediately with your hands or arms. It is not by chance we cross our arms over our stomach or chest in social situations. We are subconsciously protecting our self by stopping an unwanted energy drain.
Empaths are faithful to their friends and keep them in their life for the long-haul. But people change. Some develop undesirable or narcissistic traits as they age. It is wise to release those who bring you down or act in narcissistic way towards you. We can only help others to help themselves. If they don’t listen or refuse to change, they can become toxic. Toxic friends bring us down even after a short time spent in their presence. When we pick up their energy, we end up vibrating on the same frequency. We then attract more of this type energy. This helps no one.
The social activities of an Empath will change over the years. When in their teens and twenties, like everyone else, they may enjoy the party/clubbing scene. With age this lifestyle gets less enjoyable. Most social encounters become a chore or an unpleasant experience for the Empath. This is because we become overstimulated when in social environments. This overstimulation will often be the cause of Empath fatigue.
Empath fatigue is one of the worst traits we have to deal with. It can take us out of action faster than anything. It is a mix of chronic fatigue coupled with low-moods or depression. We will all experience it at some point in our life. It is chronic and debilitating.
Empath fatigue has several root causes. Sensitivities to our environment and diet both play a part. But a major cause and trigger is too much social stimulation. Taking on too much energy from others will ignite a bout of E.F. that can last for days. Fatigue is one of the worst traits an Empath has to deal with. It can take us out of action faster than anything. It is persistent and will make the body feel like a lead weight. Merely moving a limb becomes hard work, and any kind of work or exercise is a mammoth task. We will always notice Empath fatigue after being around negative or draining people. But we also get this crushing fatigue by spending too much time in busy peopled places. Shopping malls, jobs that require lots of social interactions, or spending too much time socializing can cause an attack of fatigue. Being exposed to too many people for too long will trigger a flare-up that can last for days after exposure. It is caused by giving and receiving too much energy. We may assume that negative experiences alone cause low moods and fatigue, this is not the case. E.F. is caused by too much stimuli, good or bad.
Not only is chronic fatigue debilitating, it will also make our moods plummet. No matter how high we were before the flare-up. Every Empath will vary in the degree of the fatigue they experience. It affects us all differently. But it is a real side-effect of being “peopled”.
I liken E.F. to food intolerances. It ignites in a similar way. When we suffer food intolerances it can cause problems after eating certain foods. An intolerance is different to a food allergy; where one can have a life-threatening reaction within minutes of ingesting an offending food. With intolerances we may have small amounts of a certain food and experience no reaction. For example: If one has an intolerance to almonds, one may eat five almonds and have no reaction. However, eat eight almonds and the immune system is activated and a negative-bodily reaction occurs. This is how Empath fatigue works. But instead of digesting too much of an aggravating food, we process too much sensory stimuli. Which, amongst other things, activates the amygdala (part of the brain that works on the sympathetic nervous system: fight-or-flight). This then disrupts the natural flow of hormones and leads to a crashing burn-out within hours of being overstimulated.
How to Gauge Time-Limits with Friends
When in energy-draining situations note how you feel after. Know how long you were in the environment and how you felt later that day or the next. When in shopping malls, with friends, at parties or other, take note. If you spend three hours with friends and feel fine the next day, you know this is a safe socializing time-limit. If spending five hours in the same company zaps you and triggers negative reactions, then this is too much time. We will all have a time-limit. For some it may be two hours. For others it could be five. My time-limit is between two and four hours depending on the situation and the people.
Too much social stimuli can bring the Empath down for days. Whether being at a party or spending an evening with close friends. Socializing contributes to causing E.F. If we want to stay in healthy space, we have to know our time-limits and make sure we stick with them.
Everyone is different. As is their social time-limits. These limits will chop and change over the years, depending on how balanced we are. You will find the more time you spend alone, the cleaner your energy becomes and the more you will react to social stimuli. When our energy-field is clear it will take only a small amount of negative energy to bring us down. The more time spent around others, the more resilient we are to their energy. This does not mean it is not affecting us, we just don’t feel it as quickly as when we are clean.
It is important to avoid feeling guilt for cutting time short with friends, family or other. Guilt is an emotion many Empaths suffer with. Yet it serves no other purpose than making us feel bad. Empaths have to prioritize their wellbeing. Friends can make us feel guilty for leaving a party early, or not spending as much time with them as they would like. Because of this, we can stay longer than is healthy in a social situation.
If your friends know and understand of your social time-limits, you can leave an event guilt-free. Otherwise be prepared. The best way to avoid the “leaving-early-guilt-trip” is by having a valid reason to go. We should have an exit strategy before we go anywhere socially. Plan to get up early the following day to work or do a chore, even if you do not have to. This gives a genuine reason for an early departure. When others do not experience the fatigue we get, by spending too much time around others, they don’t understand how debilitating it is. Over the years some of the people I’ve known, or have worked with, considered me to be a hypochondriac. That said, I too thought I was one before I discovered I was an Empath.
For social time, Empaths need to put their own needs before other people’s disappointments. This is not just for our health but for the wellbeing of others too. Once we suffer from a bout of Empath fatigue our whole energy signature changes. When we feel low we project this energy out. Just watch how others behave around you. Even if you do not speak or show how you are feeling, others take on your projections.
Empath fatigue can leave us unsociable. It makes us want to stay home and not see or speak to anyone, even on the phone. For the out-of-balance, this fatigue can last weeks, rather than days. When you recognize it, you can often pinpoint the causes.
I know what contributes to my Empath fatigue: Negative people, certain foods, long working hours, over-exercising, stress and spending too much time with friends or in busy places, can all cause a flare-up. (Overly negative people fry my circuits so I try to avoid spending any time with them.) When I’m with friends I give them my full attention. I want to know all about what they have been up to and how their lives are going. I listen and engage them. When I do this I let my guard down and take on too much energy. I love being around friends but now know I have to limit my time with them. If I don’t I will be taken down with low-moods and chronic fatigue for days after. It is like a long “people-hangover”.
For our wellbeing it is important we know our time-limits when in peopled places or in social situations. It is a good idea to keep a fatigue/emotion diary. Note where you went, who you were with and how you felt. How did you feel for the following days? It won’t take you long before you see a pattern and get to know your triggers and time-limits.
Why Empaths Feel Instant Dislikes
Everyone has instant dislikes for someone or something in their life. It’s not just an Empath thing. In our case, these dislikes are often our intuition at work. When we have a dislike for anything it is a good sign it should not be part of our life.
We may dislike a person on sight and have no particular reason for it. Or we may get an instant repulsion towards another without having spoken to them.
My natural aversions towards certain people have always proved to be for a reason. I took a while to accept this. I used to feel guilt for disliking someone I had not even talked to. It felt like I was judging them. I did not understand why. It took me a while to figure it out, but I eventually did.
Recently, at an event I was attending, I felt an instant dislike for a red-haired lady sitting nearby. She had no negative or dark energy around her and I knew she was not a bad person. But still I felt this loathing towards her. As the day went on, a friend started a conversation with the lady when I went to the bathroom. On my return I found she had moved next to my seat. When I sat down the red-haired lady included me in the stories she was happily regaling. Within five minutes of listening to her narratives I could feel the energy being drained from me. I knew if I did not get away my energy would be zapped. I made my excuses and moved away.
My natural aversion to this lady was not born from my ego, making me better than her. Nor was I was judging her for being a bad person. She wasn’t. My intuition was warning me she was an unaware “energy drainer”. When our energy is drained we become vulnerable. By giving me an instant dislike of this lady my inner “Knowing” was protecting me.
It is important to point out we should not feel regret for experiencing instant dislikes of another. Nor should we force ourselves to change the way we feel. Sensitive people often feel remorse for having bad feelings about another person. Especially those we do not know. Our natural aversions are there for a good reason… to protect us. Think about the first time you drank alcohol or tried smoking, you probably disliked it. This was your body telling you they were not good. We may have ignored these signals, because we wanted to drink or smoke for our own reasons, but they happened as an intuitive warning. Another example could be: As a child you may have disliked milk. You were told to drink it because it was good for you and the calcium would make your teeth and bones strong. When you grew up you discovered you were lactose intolerant. Your body gave you a natural dislike to stop you drinking the milk because it was harmful.
Likes and dislikes aren’t always personal or lifestyle choices. Sometimes they are safety prompts born from our intuition as a survival strategy.
It is not just the Empaths who take an instant dislike of others. We often experience it the other way around. We all get to experience it, being around someone who has taken an instant dislike to us, or a bizarre resentment suddenly appears in those we have known for some time. We may not understand why the other feels this way. And are baffled why they are showing such a loathing towards us. Whether they try to hide their feelings or not, we still sense their repugnance, and it does not feel good!
Someone taking a dislike to another is an acceptable part of life. We are all different. There will always be people with whom we do not get along. The first impression the Empath receives on first introductions is always correct. We instantly know if we could like or trust a person. This is due to having a strong sense of intuition and the ability to read others. What can puzzle the Empath is why people act in a stony way towards us, when we know our self to be likeable and trustworthy. It makes no sense. Often we are not given a reason when someone changes towards us; becoming cold and uncaring almost overnight. It can leave us scratching our head.
Most Empaths blame themselves if they get rejected by another. They may tell themselves they are not friendly enough, nice enough or good enough. This is often not the case. Through observations and contemplations, I discovered three main reasons why people cool off or take an instant dislike to the balanced Empath:
We act as a mirror reflecting their truth to them
Our vibration is too fast
Our stillness is inaccurately read
One reason others become repulsed by the Empath is because we reflect to them their truth. It is common for people to act in an inauthentic way. They do this to hide who they are. Most go through life and do not question their own motives or attempt to change their behavior. The reason people hide a side of themselves is that they don’t like aspects of their personality. They may be insecure. They might carry deep shame. Or they may hide a trait of their personality they do not believe will be accepted. On the darker side of the spectrum, some hide aspects of their personality to manipulate others. But, the majority of people who put on an act do so to find acceptance.
The fear of being judged or disliked, for what they don’t like about themselves, makes some wear a mask when out in public. Even those of a Sensitive nature put on a face when out in the world. There are some, however, who never remove their mask and go through life with a false identity.
When one comes face to face with an Empath there is no hiding from these concealed traits. The mask comes off. And they are displayed in full view. The traits one has worked so hard to hide or deny are now being waved in their face. This can cause a torrent of ill feelings to surface; often directed towards the Empath.
Because being around an Empath arouses intense feelings in others, it can be the root cause of a strong loathing towards them. What those experiencing this won’t realize is, the intense dislike they have towards the Empath reflects their hidden truth. The truth of who they are and aspects of their personality they hide are revealed. Anything hidden becomes seen within the “Mirror of an Empath”.
Empaths pick up on other people’s emotions, hidden behaviors and true personality traits and project them back. We wear other people’s truth like the mask they hide behind, but we are often unaware we are doing this. In the days before we know we are an Empath, we may mistake these insecurities as our own.
If someone has traits they don’t like about themselves, they are reminded of them when in an Empath’s presence. This is one reason an instant dislike for the Empath is formed and why resentments build. Anything buried emotionally will develop. Because others feel their own truth when with an Empath, a sudden dislike may develop as their suppressed emotions build. Jealousy, anger, hatred, feeling unworthy, low self-esteem and self-grandeur are examples of what we reflect to others.
If someone is off with you it could be you are reflecting to them the truth they deny. Or there could be another reason…
Just like an Empath dislikes being around people who spew negativity, some cannot stand to be around clean positive energy. When you work on yourself and positively change your mind, body or spirit, you become cleaner and purer. This can be the cause for a rejection from those more comfortable with low-level vibrations.
I noticed in the past when I was in a low place, there were a number of people who seemed to prefer me that way. When I changed myself and my life, and put myself in a high vibrating space, those same people didn’t like it. It felt like they wanted to bring me back down. They did this in many ways: Snide comments, ridiculing my discoveries or new ways of being. The sad thing is they were unaware they were doing it.
Vibrating in a higher space can make us repel even those we love. People sense change; whether it is apparent or not. And they feel when another has stepped up their frequency. Not everyone is ready to raise their vibration. Some may still have lessons to learn and are not ready to move forward with us. Because they are not ready to move onwards and upwards they may try to draw us back. Also, if we don’t feel like a fit to them anymore, it may cause hostility towards us.
Our Stillness is Inaccurately Read
To those of an insecure nature, our quiet and sometimes distant ways can be seen as disrespect or a snub. Because we may appear aloof, some may class this as snobby or superior behavior. Wrongly assuming we believe we are above them. Normally, when an Empath acts in an aloof or distant way, it is because they are on overload. Having taken on too much stimuli from their surroundings and in serious need of recharging, the Empath wants nothing more than to be invisible to others.
When we are on overload and heading towards a fatigue meltdown, the last thing we can deal with is someone offloading their troubles on us. Like so many do. Even polite conversation is too much for us to bear. This is often seen as a rejection or an insult to those we are quiet towards. The last thing we would want anyone to suppose is that we are snobby or believe we are superior to anyone… We don’t.
Because others don’t feel what an Empath does, it is difficult for them to understand why we act the way we do. Sadly, the more insecure someone is, the more they will be offended by our quiet ways. If they see us as blowing hot and cold or being disrespectful towards them, they may reject us as a way to hurt us back. Random dislikes towards the Empath is part of life. We cannot control what others think of us. We have to remember to stay true to ourselves. And not act in an inauthentic way to get another to like us. As long as we are being the best person we can be that is all that matters. Reacting to society’s thoughts and judgments will hold us back from our true path. To be aware as an Empath we need to understand how the judgments of others affect us.
Have you ever wondered why you choose not to reveal all you know and feel to others? Perhaps you believe they will not understand you or maybe you feel they will judge you negatively.
The energy emitted from judgmental behavior is dark and sticky. Empaths know when they are being judged. They need not be told to know another is judging them. They can feel it. It is sensed powerfully. Because they don’t want to give others the opportunity to judge and reject, they keep to themselves what they think, feel and know.
Empaths are life’s observers! We watch, we notice, and we see things others may not. Being an observer is not the same as being a judger. When we observe we do so from a perspective of learning and understanding. When someone judges it is often because they believe they are superior and they are mentally putting another down.
In common society we are expected to act and behave in a certain way. If we don’t fit into the expected mold, we are often judged.
Empaths do not want to fit in. They want to follow their truth, find their purpose and live the life that fits them. We know being fulfilled and following our true purpose and passion is what life is about. We also know living this way can lead to being judged for not fitting in, which is often followed by rejection. This holds many of us back.
To avoid the dreadful energy of judgment, a number of Empaths may comply and fit in with what is expected. In doing so, we avoid the path we are meant to follow. If this happens it will cause depression and unhappiness.
Society judges us for everything: Our attractiveness, size, fashion-sense, wealth, social status, career, living location, race and beliefs. We live in a world where being different is frowned upon, although many pretend to celebrate individuality whilst following the herd!
Fear of judgment stops us moving forward. It can imprison us in a life that we have long-since outgrown and no longer resonates. The whole purpose of our existence is to evolve. Evolvement happens through our experiences, the knowledge we gain and our happiness. We are not here to follow other people’s ideals and standards; but we are here to discover our own and to develop as souls. We do this by following our truth, not the herd.
Fear of judgment is a seed planted early in life as a way to control and divide us. Realizing this is halfway to overcoming it.
On our path to evolvement, we need to remember we are not what other people think of us. That belief is limiting and will only hold us back.
We are here to be free. Free to be ourselves. And free to the enjoy life for which we are meant. We are not here to follow the herd and live in fear of being judged. Don’t let someone else’s judgments dictate to you what your path should be.
People can criticize you but it doesn’t make them right!
If someone judges you, you need not get them to see things from your perspective. It is not your place to change another’s opinions of you. That is their job. It may be hurtful, but don’t allow it to stop you from Being who you are. If you know in your heart you always act in integrity and are the best version of yourself, then that is good enough.
The energy of another’s judgment feels dreadful. Because of this we may do anything to avoid it. Following the herd or other people’s ideals is suffocating for the Empath. Doing so can lead to depression. That said, even as a follower you will never get away from others’ judgments. Empaths cannot fit in, we are different and others sense this. Remember that any judgment is just another person’s limited view and opinion of how others should live.
It is a known fact that the Sensitive dislike criticism. They are affected by it more than most. If your fear of judgment has held you back in life now is the time to change. It can be overcome when you know how… All will be revealed soon. But for now remember: this is your journey and what you chose to do or learn is for your growth! When we are on the right path, following our heart’s passions and purpose, doors open.
Those who judge or criticize are not in a good place. They are often very unhappy. They themselves fear being judged and often create a fake persona to fit in. Empaths sense when another is being inauthentic. It is a behavior that can make them cold.
Ever spent time with someone who on the surface seem as nice as pie but when with them you feel awful and struggle to form a sentence? This is a caused by your Empathic antenna sensing all is not what it seems. You are often detecting this person is showing a fake persona.
When an Empath comes across phony people it is common for them to shut down as protection. They are protecting themselves from taking on what they feel is negative energy. This can be seen as stumbling over words or one’s memory and thought process being affected. The brain gets scrambled. Anyone who is not emanating truthful vibes will put an Empath on high alert.
In my days as a hairdresser I never understood why when I was with certain clients I would get awful feelings. It was only when I discovered I was an Empath that it all made sense. I was feeling their pain which they were hiding in inauthentic behavior. A cheerful smile and an upbeat demeanor may suggest a happy person, but if it is not the truth an Empath will feel it. This is not to say those who are inauthentic are bad people. It is often the kindest or broken people who put on an act. Most times, those who care about others do not want to bring them down by showing their true feelings. Instead they cover them up with pleasantries.
There are many levels of inauthenticity and many reasons for it. In the early days of discovering of one’s Empathic abilities it may not always be easy to pinpoint why someone feels so bad. Here are some behaviors that may leave you feeling uncomfortable:
Someone who fears rejection acts overly nice to get adoration.
Someone filled with hate or anger working hard to convince you otherwise.
Someone insecure, damaged by a destructive childhood, playing the tough guy.
Someone who has built a new personality to hide the person they believe won’t be accepted by society.
Someone who is full of insincere praise for others.
Someone making up stories to make themselves sound interesting
And this is how you may react:
Avoiding being in their presence, yet not having a valid reason to do so (they did not say or do anything to hurt you).
Not being able to talk to them. Sentences won’t form in your mouth. Your brain acts like you have no memory. You only ask questions. If you talk it feels like it makes no sense.
Having a sense of dread in the pit of stomach that won’t go until you are no longer in said person’s presence.
Any more than an hour spent in their company will drain you and leave you feeling ill.
Feeling guilt, you may like the person but dislike how it feels to be with them.
Feeling helpless around them.
Just because an Empath feels untruths in another does not mean they do not act fake themselves. For some, when they feel uneasy around a pretender it may mean they are picking up a trait they dislike about themselves, which they too hide from the world. This often happens when we have buried our shadow-side.
Our shadow-side is a side of our self we dislike. It can be a trait that makes us uncomfortable, or that we were ridiculed for in our youth.
We all have to put a face on and act fake at some point in our lives. But for some it’s every day. We may have to be upbeat and happy when we feel sad or depressed. We may have to act annoyed when we are indifferent. Or we may have to pretend to love a job we detest. Sometimes faking it gets us through difficult situations, but living it daily is not healthy. If we do not face out shadow-side, it will get darker.
It is important for the Empath to uncover any hidden traits and emotions. Whilst we bury a side of us we dislike we will never be happy or feel complete. The problem we have is that many of us do not know the root-cause.
One of the biggest causes of unhappiness on this planet is people not knowing themselves. When we hide a side of us from others, without knowing the reason, it will cause us pain.
Being true and authentic is freeing. Often, many of the traits we buried are inherited and passed down the family line. They may even stem from a past life. Wherever they originated it is important to uncover these traits. And if they can’t be changed (some traits are hardwired), accept and learn to live with them.
Sensitive people bury negative traits because we know how destructive they are. But burying them does not lose them. They will always show up and cause damage.
Hate, anger, jealousy and fear of rejection are four traits associated most with the shadow-side and are often the ones we bury, because we know they weaken us. We may hate someone for the way they behaved towards us. Anger may be inherited from an angry parent. Praise and attention given to a childhood friend or sibling may lead to a jealous streak. And being rejected as a child, by an unknowing parent for instance, may have caused an intense fear of rejection. All simple and innocent triggers, but all of which can snowball. And lead to deep-set insecurities we feel have to stay hidden. Often, when we recognize and accept these traits they lose their hold.
Why all the Negative Energy and Emotion?
The world is changing and people are in crisis! They/we are having unresolved issues coming up, because they need to be cleared.
Now is the time for everyone to face their shadow-sides and hidden issues! Unfortunately, many are choosing not to do this. Instead they are projecting blame for their emotions onto others as anger.
With this crazy anger-energy many are now experiencing, it is difficult to know what belongs to us and what belongs to others because it is so interrelated. Often it is coming from family or friends with whom we have history. But if you are experiencing more anguish than normal, and you know it belongs to you, it is a good time to check your back-story. Find out to what these issues link. The first place you need to check in with is your intuition. What is it telling you? An Empath’s intuition is always an excellent guide. We just need to ask the right questions. If it tells you your emotional pain stems from a rejection or an injustice in childhood, it is time to let it go. It is difficult to know what the original hurt was because of the time factor. Over the years hidden pain grows and attaches associated pains to it. When I say associated pain, I mean those similar in nature. I cover this important subject more in-depth in the next Secret but now we will look at trauma triggers:
If you have someone in your life who acts as a trauma trigger, they will have no-doubt sprung to mind upon reading this sentence.
Those who act as a trauma trigger can cause a response at the mere mention of their name. The Empath can become awash with a torrent of painful emotions, just by thinking about this certain person. This reaction is caused by a response within the brain. The trauma trigger is the brain’s way of protecting us from a perceived threat.
If someone has caused us to have an emotional flare-up in the past the amygdala in the brain will see them as a threat. It will then send a provoking emotional response to warn us of this danger. This is normally felt as an overwhelming sense of dread or other negative emotion. It is often followed by the release of the fight-or-flight hormones cortisol and adrenalin which fuels up our energy. This reaction would be beneficial if there was a flesh-eating zombie chasing us, as it would give us the energy to run away or stay and fight. But because these hormones do not get used we are often left in an anxious state.
For the Empath feeling other people’s energy and emotions is normal, both negative and positive.
Some people emit lovely, light vibrations and are a joy to be around. There are some, however, who live under a constant cloud of negative energy and are riddled with angst. These people may think nothing of spewing out their dark angry emotions. And often refuse to accept or change their behavior; even if it has been pointed out to them how their actions affect others. They find fault in everyone (except themselves) and choose not to see the good qualities in those around them.
Who Are They?
Anyone can act as a trauma trigger to the Empath. But they will normally be someone like a family member, friend, employer or teacher etc. The thought of them can suck the joy out of your life; just like Dementors in the Harry Potter books. Because you had a bad experience with them in the past means they often create distress for you in the future.
If you are a calm and peaceful person, these trauma trigger people feel like poison and are responsible for activating anger or other uncomfortable emotions within you. They can even make you feel physically ill. It doesn’t matter how long it is since you last saw them either. If they caused you painful or uncomfortable emotions, you will be triggered even after a length of time has passed.
It has to be said it is not always negative people who cause painful responses and thus become a trauma trigger. Anyone who is suffering emotionally can activate the Empath’s pain body. This happens when their pain is something to which we relate. If, for example, you have suffered bereavement, being around the recently bereaved can act as a trauma trigger. Feeling their hurt can take you back to your own time of loss and activate those emotional memories.
Trauma Trigger or Psychic Attack?
People can be behind both a psychic attack and a traumatic trigger. Psychic attacks come out of the blue. When they happen you feel negative vibes, mentally sent by a certain person. A trauma response happens when the person, acting as a trigger, is mentioned in conversation, seen from a distance or something sparks a memory of them. Every time said person comes into your energy field, through thought, word or presence, it can be enough to activate you. We can avoid trauma trigger people but we cannot stop them from connecting with us mentally. To stop the mental connection, use the same technique as when we take on other people’s thoughts or emotions.
Repeat this line, in your head or out loud: ‘If this energy is not mine go back to where you came.’ If it is another person’s mental energy, it will loosen its grip. Once you feel it recede, distract yourself.
Because Empaths carry other people’s emotions, pains, ideas and beliefs, it can leave us feeling empty and disconnected from our true-self. We can end up living a life that isn’t based on our true desires. This can take many years to rectify, even after discovering one is an Empath.
I only recently understood why, for many years I felt such a void. It was because I was not connecting to my own truths, being so overrun with other people’s stuff. When you understand and follow the steps in this book your life will transform, fact! As part of this transformation, it is crucial the Empath discovers what weakens them before they can become empowered. We have to know our vulnerabilities and what caused them. If we want to transform our life, we have to rebuild on a firm foundation. Understanding where our insecurities, which are different than most other peoples’, were born is imperative to releasing them. This takes us to our next Secret.