Kathy’s Dream

We have the choice to use the gift of our life to make the world a better place — or not to bother.

~Jane Goodall

I was working on a middle-grade novel based on the lives of chimpanzees, a fanciful and magical rendition of what one might expect to find in the jungles. In order to expand the reality of chimpanzees while writing my book I needed to understand them. I devoured almost every book written by Dr. Jane Goodall, a famous primatologist.

After stalking her website, I went to Washington, D.C. to hear her speak about her experiences with chimpanzees. One day, while perusing her website, I stumbled across the opportunity to complete a six-month internship with the Jane Goodall Institute (JGI) in Tanzania, East Africa.

Something welled inside me — a blend of longing and knowing. Despite having a full-time job as a consultant, a car payment, a mortgage, and a boyfriend, I just knew I had to go.

I was offered an unpaid internship after applying.

My logical mind interceded. “You can’t leave. It’s not feasible, not logical. What are you going to do with your house and your life?” The whispers were relentless, so I hesitated and prayed.

I wanted a definitive answer to my questions about why this trip meant so much to me. Why did I have so much fear, and what would happen if I let go of my current version of life?

Weeks went by, and my mind and heart remained in conflict. With just two and a half weeks before I was due to leave, I had not made a decision. I had only told a close circle of friends. If I am honest, I probably would have let indecision play out until it was too late to take action. But then came the dream — Kathy’s dream.

I arrived at work on a Monday still gripped by paralyzing fear. My co-worker Kathy said, “Hey, when you have a second, come to my office because I have the weirdest dream to share with you. It makes no sense at all.”

“Okay.” I laughed and told her I would return.

Later, I plopped into her office chair. She again prefaced the conversation by saying it didn’t make sense, but she felt she had to tell it to me.

“You left work very quickly and without any notice,” she said, launching into the telling of the dream.

Being aware of my two-week window to leave, I leaned forward with growing interest, especially since she and my other co-workers had no idea I was considering quitting my job and heading off to Africa.

She continued. “Everyone at work began getting upset and nervous about your whereabouts, and I was assigned to lead the search committee. I searched in grocery stores, restaurants, shops — everywhere — but I could not find you.

“Finally, I found you on a huge yacht running a large enterprise. People were moving all around you, packing boxes and sending them off the vessel. Your skin was glowing, and your hair was flowing in the wind. You were the most beautiful version of yourself.

“I told you that you needed to return to work, and people were worried about you. But you responded that there are things more important than work, and you needed to take a leap because life was about taking chances. You said that you would never return, and you didn’t care that people were sad because you were living in your truth.”

She said that I often stopped my interactions with the team to encourage her to join me, but she refused. She said, “You would call me spineless and explain that life is short, and I needed to join you in taking a chance and stepping into purpose.”

My mouth fell open. That dream answered every question that I had been praying about. It was unbelievable. When I informed Kathy, she joined me in puzzlement. The message had been delivered, and I would never be the same.

At first, I wondered why the dream had not come to me, but then I remembered that I was so full of anxiety that I was having nightmares instead. Such a dream probably couldn’t manifest through the clutter of my mind. Why didn’t it come through a close, personal friend? One of my friends helped me realize the answer. She explained that if she had said it to me, it would not have been as powerful because she knew all about my potential trip. No, the best, most convincing dream was the unsolicited one by the unknowing co-worker.

That dream clinched it. That same day, I drove to my company headquarters and met with my manager to hand in my resignation. I had no way to pay any of my bills and no plan for doing so. But I did have a knowing in my heart to walk through my fear, take on a new adventure, and become more aligned to my purpose. I was going to answer the call no matter what.

Within two weeks, I had posted my house for rent on Craigslist, moved all of my essential items into storage, packed for my six-month trip, said goodbye to bewildered friends and family (some who thought I was making a mistake), and boarded a plane to Tanzania.

I remember that twenty-four-hour trip. My heart pounded with nervousness and excitement — unsure of who or what I would find at my destination.

During my six-month internship, I slowly filled my soul. I met wonderful friends and completed several community projects for JGI, including teaching at an orphanage and building a community garden. I also visited Gombe and the wonderful staff there who took us chimpanzee tracking, sometimes on our bellies and elbows through the thick brush to view the chimpanzees I had only read about.

I learned basic Swahili, went on safari, and lived some common experiences of being in Tanzania, like squat toilets and crowded, colorful open-market places. For me, the icing on the cake was that I got to stay in the house with Jane Goodall for two weeks. Initially, I was told she would not be arriving during my stay, but then she decided to spend what little time she had off visiting with her family who lived at the compound where we stayed.

Although we interns respected Jane’s space and understood she was introspective by nature, I was honored to be welcomed to some of her dinners where she purchased local Indian cuisine and hosted various innovative and interesting guests. It was like having a seat at a table of masters, or so I felt.

I will always carry the lessons and the light of those memories in my heart. I experienced immeasurable growth in learning how to listen to the desires of my soul, how to vanquish fear and being open to new adventures.

Despite the wishes of some family members who called me often to encourage my early return home, I learned what I was made of, who I was as a person, and what I was willing to sacrifice to reset my life and direction.

Those six months solidified what I only faintly believed to be my calling. I was now sure of my purpose to help and love people, and to document those lessons with words — either through my writings or my podcast, which was inspired by my experiences there. I was meant to shift people’s consciousness in a similar way to which I had been transformed.

Looking back, I don’t think my journey was specifically about the trip itself as much as it was about learning to own my own power. I had to travel thousands of miles to do that because my previous life and the rat race of it all would not have allowed for this reflection. So much happened during my stay, and all of it contributed to the most wonderful unfolding of my highest life lessons — all set in motion by Kathy’s dream.

— Keisha M. Reynolds —