Vatican Calling

Trust that God will put the right people in your life at the right time and for the right reasons.

~Author Unknown

This restlessness was unusual. I’m a pretty good sleeper, so I wasn’t sure what was making me toss and turn. But my subconscious used that night’s long and vivid dream to reveal my inner stress.

I was terrified to go to church the next day. It wasn’t for the usual reasons most of us dread church, like a funeral. Although I was probably overdue, I wasn’t planning on going to confession either.

No, the next day’s vigil Mass was the first time I would be serving as a Eucharistic Minister, and I was sure I would mess it up. It should have been a silly fear. I’d been Catholic my whole life. Although I’d turned away from the church in my younger years, and I was far from an angel, I was now a faithful parishioner. I wanted to serve and had even taught religious education. When my priest told me he needed more Extraordinary Ministers of the Eucharist, I was eager to answer the call.

So, what was I distraught about? Oh, maybe just dropping the body of Christ in the form of the consecrated host — just a little thing like that. Or how about going up to the altar at the wrong time? I’d been to Mass hundreds of times. I knew when to approach the priest. But now, with less than twenty-four hours before the vigil Mass, I suddenly felt very unqualified for such a huge responsibility.

When I finally fell asleep, I found myself at my beloved church. I was screwing up in every way possible. I was dressed inappropriately, and having approached the altar too early, I decided just to sit and hang out until the priest got to the consecration. When it was time to offer the Eucharist to parishioners, I couldn’t remember the words I was supposed to say.

At one point in the dream, I was running out of communion wafers. I knew that I should break up the pieces in order to have enough for everyone, but I decided that I needed a fork to break up the pieces. I left the line to walk over to the rectory where I borrowed one of Father’s forks.

In the last part of the dream, the cell phone in my back pocket began to ring. I should have turned that off! How could I quiet my phone while I was holding the ciborium, which is holding the Most Holy Eucharist?

Suddenly, I realized my phone was ringing. It was my actual phone in my conscious life, not in the dream.

I jolted awake. It was 4 a.m. Calls that early can never be a good thing. I grew even more concerned when I saw that it was my friend Dora calling. Dora was in Europe with her family. What could she possibly be calling about? Frightened and confused, I somehow managed to answer my phone. Dora sensed my sleepiness.

“Oh, no! Is it four in the morning? I thought it was four in the afternoon! This time-change thing has me all messed up. I’m sorry I called. Go back to sleep.”

“Dora, wait. I’m up. What’s going on? Is everything okay?” I asked.

“Yes. I just had a silly question, and I totally didn’t mean to wake you up. It’s no big deal. We can talk later.”

“Now I’m curious. What’s the question?”

“You should go back to sleep.”

“It’s okay! What’s the question?”

“Well,” she responded, “I’m in the Vatican gift shop. I wanted to bring you rosary beads that are blessed by the Pope, but I didn’t know if you would want rosary beads in a box with the Fátima, Portugal visitation on them or with Pope Francis on them.”

I thanked her and said that I actually had rosary beads from Fátima, handed down from my Portuguese grandmother. But rosary beads blessed by Pope Francis in a box with his image on them would be awesome.

We said goodbye, and I lay back down. Sleep eluded me as I began to realize the enormity of this coincidence. I had never received a call from the Vatican before. I probably will never receive a call from the Vatican again. I knew Dora and her family were going to the Vatican, but I had no idea during what part of their two-week trip through Europe that visit was scheduled. Yet, she called while I was dreaming about Mass.

How could the timing of this call be anything but a divine message? It seemed very clear to me that Dora’s call, while I was dreaming of failing in the service of God, was Jesus saying to me directly, “Hey, chill out. We got this!”

And we did. At the Mass later that day, I managed to offer the Eucharist to many of my fellow parishioners without incident.

I didn’t even need a fork.

— Yvonne deSousa —