Newport Cove Listserv Digest
*Re: Help Needed for Holiday Decorating Committee!
Wow, a visit by Santa and wreaths. I didn’t realize every single resident of Newport Cove celebrated Christmas. —Amy Smith, Magnolia Street
*Re: Help Needed for Holiday Decorating Committee!
Guess we Jews are getting the shaft. Maybe we should form our own holiday decorating committee? —Deborah Feinstein, Crabtree Lane
*Re: Help Needed for Holiday Decorating Committee!
Um, I hate to break it to you, but FYI there are more religions than simply Christianity and Judaism. How about a Kwanzaa Decorating Committee? A Ramadan Decorating Committee? —Lisa Crane, Tulip Way
*Re: Help Needed for Holiday Decorating Committee!
We’ll also be decorating Newport Cove with menorahs and symbols of other religions! All suggestions and decoration donations welcome! —Sincerely, Shannon Dockser, Newport Cove Manager
• • •
She had to tell Jason. Of course she had to tell Jason.
She watched him sip from a flute of champagne in the back of the limousine, and noticed a stain on the collar of his blue shirt. Her messy, sweet, loving husband.
She thought about him standing next to Miller in the office, the two men assessing each other. She knew she hadn’t imagined the hitch in their energy, or the way they’d locked eyes for an extra beat. They seemed like different species. One tall and trim and smooth; the other—her Jason. The man she loved, but had betrayed many times over.
“Cheers,” he was saying as he held out his flute. “To my beautiful wife.”
She clinked her glass against his and took a sip, but her stomach twisted and she had to force herself to swallow it.
“This is nice,” she said. Jason put his hand on her knee and gave it a squeeze. Her throat contracted, and she turned to look out the window so he wouldn’t notice the tears flooding her eyes.
She wished she’d never gone back to work. Life had been so simple—dull, yes, but pleasantly so—before she’d met Miller. He’d opened up possibilities she hadn’t known existed. The tingle of attraction that now felt as necessary as oxygen.
Jason’s hand was still on her knee, steady and strong. She covered it with her own, feeling his warm, thick fingers wind between hers. She was filled with a deep sadness.
How do I find my way back to my husband again? she wondered, aching to know if it was possible.
Maybe it started with a confession. If she told Jason about her flirtation, the element of secrecy would be stripped away. He could hold her accountable. He wouldn’t want her to continue working in the same office as Miller, and if she was going to save her marriage, she’d have to agree. Jason would force the choice she seemed unable to confront.
Maybe she’d take some time off, and go to couples therapy with Jason. She would make him special dinners and give him back rubs and curl up against him at night. Fake it till you make it, wasn’t that the saying?
Jason might look at her differently, though. She would no longer be his golden girl. There might be confusion, or worse, hurt, in his eyes. The next time that blonde came into the hardware store and hung on his arm, he might smile down at the woman and move in closer.
Jason could decide he didn’t want her anymore. He could leave.
But she deserved whatever was coming, Kellie thought, remembering the nights she’d imagined Miller while she’d been making love with Jason, the lies she’d told, the way she’d compared the two men and had found Jason wanting. She gulped the rest of her champagne, shuddered, and turned to Jason. He was texting on his cell phone; probably checking in with his mother to see how the kids were doing.
“Honey,” she began in a trembling voice. She bit her lower lip hard so the burst of pain would hold back her tears.
Jason looked up quickly. “What is it?” he asked, a look of concern spreading across his face. His kind, dear face.
She’d seen Jason cry a few times before—in joy when their children were born, in sorrow when the black Lab he’d had since the age of twelve had died—but her behavior had never been the source of his tears. He’d planned this beautiful night for them to reconnect as a couple; of course he knew something was wrong. He was fighting for their marriage, and she needed to do the same.
“Kell?” he asked.
She shook her head.
“What is it?” he asked again.
“I’m sorry,” she said. “I’m so sorry.” She tightened her grip on his hand. “The guy in my office, the one you met today—”
“Miller,” Jason interjected. “The tall one.”
Kellie nodded. “I didn’t sleep with him—” she blurted.
“What?” Jason jerked his hand away from hers.
“Oh God, I mean, I didn’t— I didn’t do anything with him,” she said. “I didn’t even kiss him!”
Jason was looking at her with something akin to horror. “Why are you telling me this?”
Kellie swallowed hard. “I had a crush on him . . . more than a crush. We became friends but then I started to feel something more . . .”
Her voice trailed off.
“You’re in love with him?” Jason asked. His brow furrowed. “Is that what you’re saying?”
“No!” Kellie cried. “I don’t know—I’m just so confused, Jason. Please, don’t be mad. I thought you knew . . . the way you looked at him when you came into the office . . .”
“I knew something was up,” Jason said. His face looked different now. He was clenching his jaw and his eyes were narrowed. She’d thought he’d be hurt, but he wasn’t. He was angry—no, furious—another emotion she’d rarely seen him display.
“All those new clothes you bought,” he said. “The way you haven’t wanted to be with me . . .”
She’d thought Jason didn’t see her anymore, but he did. He’d noticed everything.
“It wasn’t you!” she blurted. “It wasn’t anything you did . . . I’ve just been at home for so long, raising the kids. I kind of lost myself. And then when someone looked at me as if I was an attractive woman . . .”
“You’re saying I don’t look at you that way?” Jason asked, leaning back from her. She should have thought this through; everything she said was making it worse.
“You do, you’re wonderful,” she said. “It wasn’t about us.”
He gave a little laugh that sounded more like a bark. “Like hell it wasn’t.”
“Jason, I’m so sorry,” she said. Her heart was pounding so loudly it seemed to be invading her mind, making it impossible to gather her thoughts. Why had she told Jason? “I want to stop it,” she finally said. “I don’t want to be with Miller.”
“You need to tell me exactly what’s going on,” he said. “You didn’t fuck him?”
Kellie winced at the harsh word, but shook her head. “I swear.”
He exhaled a measured breath. “Did you ever see him outside the office?” he asked.
She wanted to lie, but she nodded. “We went to scout houses a few times and had coffee sometimes.”
His eyes were so hard! They were no longer Jason’s eyes; she didn’t recognize them.
“Anything else?” he asked. “You better tell me it all now.”
She dropped her gaze from his. “Once he came to a bar when I was out with the girls, and we danced, but that was it.”
“You brought him out with your friends?” Jason’s tone was dangerously calm.
“I’m sorry,” she whispered. She started to reach for him, then withdrew her hand. “You knew something was wrong, didn’t you? That’s why you planned tonight . . . to reconnect. And I want to do the same.”
“No,” he said. “That isn’t why I planned tonight. I didn’t ever think you’d ever do something like this. Fall for some jackass in a nice suit.”
He wasn’t even looking at her now. He was staring out the window, his body rigid.
She’d made an enormous mistake. She should’ve pulled away from Miller. She was a coward who’d expected her husband to save their marriage when she was the one who should’ve found the courage to do so.
The limousine pulled to a stop and the driver got out and opened the back door. Kellie thought Jason might ask him to just take them home, to cut the night short, but instead, he got out without looking at her.
“Where are we?” she asked. She looked out the window and saw the community center where Mia had taken dance classes as a young girl and where Gigi taught occasional art classes. “Is something going on here?”
He nodded, and began to walk ahead without waiting for her. “Guess we’re both getting surprised tonight,” he said over his shoulder.
• • •
Gigi finished setting up the bar, stealing another sidelong glance at Tessa, whose finger was now properly bandaged, thanks to the mini first aid kit Susan kept in the trunk of her car.
We all have secrets, Gigi thought. Even Melanie, at the tender age of fifteen, had an internal life that she closely guarded. Julia would probably follow suit. The dozens of women Gigi passed every day—the women peering at the covers of tabloids in the grocery store checkout lane, and waiting in line with a preoccupied gaze at the bank, and putting on lipstick at the red light in the next car over in traffic—were all holders of mysteries.
Susan was affixing a silver banner with the embossed words “Happy Birthday” to a wall with tape, and someone had dimmed the lights. Dozens of guests had arrived by now. John Lennon glasses and short floral dresses and disco shirts abounded.
Gigi felt an arm wrap around her waist as lips touched against the back of her neck.
“Be careful,” she said. “My husband’s going to be here any minute.” She felt the rumble of a chuckle against her back. Before she could twist around to kiss Joe, her cell phone buzzed and she dug in her pocket to pull it out. Jason had promised to send an alert when he and Kellie were en route.
His text read: 10 min.
“They’re coming!” Gigi shouted. The lights were dimmed, the music was shut off, and everyone crowded behind the bar to hide.
“Think she’ll be surprised?” someone asked.