23

It’s been two days since we’ve been back from Utah, Alia. What are you even doing?” Haley says as she stands in my office.

I don’t glance up at her as I sit at my desk. I keep my eyes glued to my computer screen and focus. I’ve got fifteen minutes until I present the first-episode cut of Discovering Utah to the Expedition network execs.

“I’m trying to work,” I say.

Haley walks over and plops her tiny frame on my desk. “You and I both know that presentation is stellar. You could have given it yesterday in your sleep. And you know that’s not what I’m asking about.” She studies me with those deep-brown eyes. “Are you okay? In the two days that we’ve been back, you haven’t done anything other than edit in your office and then edit at your apartment.”

“And find a therapist,” I add, eyes still on my computer.

Haley sighs. “Yes. And that. I’m really proud of you for it. I just wanna make sure you’re okay.”

It didn’t take long after unloading on Haley during the flight for me to realize that I needed some help. Next week I have an appointment with a therapist to talk about what happened with Drew—and my entire dating and relationship history.

I can’t just bury the pain from an awful breakup and hope it magically goes away, like I did with Reid. The trauma from the way things ended with him resurfaced with Drew. This time, I need to actually process my pain, anger, and feelings of betrayal instead of shoving them deep inside me and letting them fester for years and years.

I finally make eye contact with Haley. “I’m not okay. But I will be.” I check the clock. Eleven minutes till presentation time.

“Are you sure you don’t want to talk to Drew?” She flashes that same concerned expression that she did when I quietly sobbed to her on the plane ride back from Utah.

“I have nothing to say to him.”

Drew is the host of the show and that means in all the hours of editing that I’ve done over the past two days, I’ve had to watch clips of him again and again while I edit. Sometimes it’s a comfort, to be reminded of the person he was . . . how happy he made me. But then the unforgivable words he spoke to Blaine resurface, and I’m broken all over again.

“Don’t you think you should at least talk to him?” Haley says, bringing me back to the present. “He’s the new host of your show.”

“Are you serious right now? Don’t you remember what I told you? How he betrayed my trust to Blaine, of all people?”

I try my best to keep my composure, but my eyes water anyway.

She leans over and hugs me. Despite how annoyed I am at her right now, I return the hug because I definitely need it.

“I’m not trying to make excuses for what he did . . . I honestly can’t even begin to fathom why he would want to hurt you like that,” Haley says. “All I’m saying is that if you talk to him, you could tell him off or whatever to help you get a tiny bit of closure. That’s all.”

I sigh, then pull away. She hands me a tissue so I can blow my nose.

“I don’t have the energy for that. I just want to move on. And I want to nail this presentation.”

Haley nods once at me. “You will.”

She reaches into my purse and pulls out my makeup bag to touch me up.

“Better?” I ask.

“Much. You’re going to kill it. I told you that charcoal shift dress with a black blazer would make you look like a sleek corporate shark.”

I laugh at her phrasing. She hops off my desk and walks to the door. “Drinks tonight?”

“Yes, please. Thanks, Haley.”

She tells me to knock ’em dead before leaving my office. I save the last of my work on my laptop, and I am about to head to the conference room when my office phone rings. I answer it.

“Alia?”

The sound of Drew’s voice makes my stomach fall to my feet.

“Drew?”

“I’ve been trying to get ahold of you since I landed back in New York.” He sounds breathless, like he’s been running all over the city looking for me.

My chest squeezes at the sound of his voice. It’s like a weird sort of muscle memory. My body isn’t used to being angry with him, so it’s still fondly remembering all the amazing things he made me feel.

“I blocked your number,” I say sternly.

“Why? Tell me what I did to make you cut off all contact with me. Please, I’m going out of my mind here.”

I bite the inside of my cheek. I absolutely will not cry. “Did you honestly think I wouldn’t find out?”

“Find out what? Alia, please—”

“All those horrible things you said about me in the hallway at the hotel the day I left, Drew! To Blaine, of all people!” I glance up through the glass walls of my office. Thankfully no one in the cubicle farm seems to have noticed my shouting because everyone is fixed on their computers.

There’s a long pause on his end of the line. “Crap . . . Alia, I’m so, so sorry you heard that. That wasn’t part of the plan. But he just showed up and I had to think fast—”

“What the hell are you talking about?”

He stammers for a few seconds. “What I mean to say is that I was planning to tell you that night I landed back in the city about what happened with Blaine, but then I got your text telling me not to bother and you blocked me, so then I couldn’t—”

The reminder on my email sounds. Five minutes until the presentation.

“Drew, just stop.”

“Alia, please just let me explain.”

“Listen to me. I’m only going to ask you this once, and I need you to tell me the truth. Did you tell Blaine that your plan was to string me along for the shoot, then dump me? That all you wanted was the hosting job? Did you tell him you were all about the chase—the fucking—and that was it?”

His sigh echoes against my ear.

“Yes, but I swear, I didn’t mean it like—”

“Stop. Don’t say another word. I have exactly one minute until I have to leave my office to pitch the series and I need to get this out.”

Haley’s words from minutes before sound in my head.

If you talk to him, you could tell him off or whatever you need to tell him to help you get a tiny bit of closure.

But I’m not going to tell Drew off. That won’t make me feel any better. What I will tell him is the truth. Yes, it’s going to hurt, but it’s what I need to do to move on from him—from us.

“You made me feel like Reid made me feel all those years ago—used and worthless. Because I thought you cared about me. The way you acted while we were in Utah, so protective and loving, it made me fall for you so hard”—I swallow to keep my voice from shaking—“I love you, Drew. I was going to tell you that the night you got back from Utah, the night you were supposed to stay at my apartment.”

I pause for a quick breath, continuing before Drew can interrupt me.

“And even now that I know what kind of person you truly are, I don’t regret loving you. Because the person I was when I was with you, that was one hundred percent me. I gave you all of me, and I’m proud I was brave enough to do that. I’ve never, ever done that with anyone else. But I did it with you. And my only regret is that I didn’t figure out your true self sooner. Because you didn’t deserve me.”

I hang up before my voice breaks. Then I tilt my head up, grab a tissue from my desk, and dab until I’m certain no tears will fall.

And then I stand up, grab my things, and walk out of my office and into the conference room where all six executives and Brooke sit at the table, waiting for me.

---

•   •   •

“Gotta say, Alia. This is a pretty risky move.” Byron peers over the top of his glasses at me.

I’m standing at the front of the room, the white wall behind me illuminated with the ending shot of the first episode. It’s Drew standing next to the Delicate Arch, his dazzling smile on display. At the top of the image is the Discovering Utah title in fiery-red block letters, an homage to the landscape of the state.

I open my mouth to address his comment, but another exec, Peter, speaks up. “I like it.” He grins. “A lot. Drew’s a natural.” He spins his chair to Byron. “I was never a fan of that Blaine guy anyway.”

The other execs murmur comments along those lines. I hold my breath, silently telling myself not to interrupt the soft rumbles of positive feedback.

Brooke winks at me. My racing heart settles when I look at the confident expression on her face. She cleared today in her schedule to sit in on my presentation to support me, and so I would have one friendly face in the audience.

She turns to the execs. “I think what Alia managed to do on this shoot is nothing less than a miracle. She had a truly horrible and unprofessional host who made it impossible for anyone to do their job, but she found a way around it. On her own. Without going over budget and without pestering any of you to hold her hand. How many other showrunners or producers can you say that about?”

She looks pointedly at Byron, whose clean-shaven cheeks redden.

“That’s a good point,” Peter says.

I flip the screen to show a screenshot of Drew’s social media accounts. “Drew has a solid following on both Instagram and Twitter. Rylan put up teaser photos and video clips during the shoot to entice viewers, and it received a strong response from the public.”

I point out the thousands of views and likes each of Drew’s Utah posts on social media have received. Impressed murmurs follow.

“And I know that Drew doesn’t have the follower count that Blaine does. But I do think the combined follower count he has online isn’t anything to discredit, especially since his engagement is significantly higher than Blaine’s.”

I show a comparison of stats between Drew’s and Blaine’s social media accounts. Drew’s figures are triple Blaine’s.

“I’m confident Blaine’s follower count will continue to fall once the network releases a statement explaining that he was fired due to sexual misconduct,” I add.

“The press release from the network addressing Blaine’s official firing and the assault he committed went out this morning,” Brooke says. “Since then he’s been dropped from all of his remaining sponsors. That reality show he signed on to do in the fall has also axed him.”

Peter sighs. “Blaine’s lawyer is threatening to come after us for not paying out the remainder of his contract—after he deals with the court hearing for the assault charge in Utah.”

Nerves start to swirl at the bottom of my stomach, but I take a breath and address the room.

“That’s not surprising given Blaine’s entitled and lazy behavior that persisted for the whole shoot,” I say. “But every member of the crew gave statements to HR attesting to Blaine’s behavior, which often involved excessive alcohol and illegal drug use that impeded his performance on the job so much so that Drew had to serve as his stand-in for the entirety of the series—in addition to how he sexually harassed and attacked Rylan. I kept track of the dates and the incidents of everything in a spreadsheet that I sent to both HR and legal. And I requested a copy of the police report filed in Moab, which documents the worst of his conduct, and have given that to HR to circulate to our media contacts. All of that would void any claim he would have to compensation.”

It takes a moment for everyone to soak in what I’ve said, but once they do, they seem more settled. I catch Byron crossing his arms. He’s frowning, but I can’t quite tell if it’s because his choice of host turned out to be horrific or if it’s because he’s thinking about something else.

When he turns his frown on me, I decide, screw it. “I remember what you said to me when I first pitched this series to you, Byron. You told me I needed to take more risks. Well, this is my kind of risk taking. I fired the host because he attacked a crew member—and I did it without the approval of you or anyone else at the network because it was the right thing to do. And then I put a series together with my field coordinator, who happened to be natural on-camera. That’s a hell of a risk too. And I’m proud of it.”

A tense silence follows for a few seconds. And then Byron holds up his hands. “You’re right. I’m sorry for what Blaine did. Truly. I think it’s safe to say I’m done putting my hands in all things production and talent related.”

I almost choke at how openly Byron admits his shortcoming. The rest of the execs nod along with him.

Peter looks at me. “You clearly know what you’re doing. We’re all on board with your risk-taking move, Alia. The show with Drew as the new host is a go. Go ahead and continue editing the twelve episodes we planned. We’ll start promoting it at the end of July for a fall airing—if you think you can get us the episodes by then. That’s about two and a half months away.”

I smile. “I can absolutely do that.”

“And anytime you have any more ideas you want to pitch, come straight to me,” Peter says. “I know we still have to see how the show does ratings-wise when it airs, but I have a good feeling about it. You clearly have a talent for this content. And we need more stuff like this at Expedition.”

I thank him, then thank everyone else. They all compliment me as they leave the room. When it’s just Brooke and me in the room, she hugs me.

“Oh my God!” I sputter.

She holds me by the shoulders, her ruby-red lips stretched in a smile. “You nailed it, Alia! I knew you would!”

“I just . . . I can’t believe they actually went for it . . . I mean, I’m so freaking happy they did; I honestly don’t even know what I would have done if they didn’t, but . . .”

I pause from babbling to take a breath.

Brooke squeezes my shoulders. “I’m so proud of you. You’ve blown everyone away.”

I’m in the middle of thanking her when Haley comes running into the conference room. “Drop whatever you’re doing and watch this. Now.”

“Don’t you want to know how the presentation went?”

Haley shakes her head. “No. This. Now.”

I almost laugh at her insistence. But when I look at the video playing on her phone, my jaw drops. It’s Blaine standing in the hallway at the hotel in Utah.

“Haley, what is—”

“Just watch it,” she orders.

It takes a second for me to hear what he’s saying, but after a moment it all registers. It’s the conversation Drew had with Blaine that I overheard.

Brooke stands off to the side of Haley and me, her eyes bouncing between us in confusion.

Haley waves a hand at her. “I’ll explain in a minute, I promise.”

“Then what’s your style, man?” Drew asks. “I gotta know how the great Blaine Stephens gets those notches on his belt.”

This is the moment I ran off. On the screen, Blaine pauses to glance around, like he’s checking to make sure no one is around to hear him.

“Exactly what I did with that sweet little thing Rylan. I compliment them at first on set. Let them know I like what I see. Then I after a while I move in for the kill.”

“The kill?” Drew’s tone is hard.

“Yeah, man. Just like I did that night at the brewery.” Blaine laughs. My skin crawls. “I know she was playing hard to get. They always do. Girls like that want you to chase them. They say they want you to leave them alone, but I know what’s really up. No means yes, right?”

My breath quickens. So does my pulse. Blaine is detailing in his own words how he attacked Rylan.

“So that’s exactly what I did—I went after her. I waited till there was no one else around, and I could get her in a quiet corner by the bathroom. And then I let her know just how hot she was making me.”

“Huh.” I can tell by the way that sound falls out of Drew’s mouth that he’s livid.

My mind spins as I make sense of what I’m hearing. This whole conversation, Drew was pretending to make amends with Blaine. It was all a setup to get him to admit what he did to Rylan on video.

The memory of being with Drew that morning before flying back to New York flashes in my mind. I remember hugging him so tight, telling him how nervous I was that the execs would side with Blaine because he was in the power position since he was connected to Byron.

“And how did you do that? How did you let her know?” Drew’s voice in the video pulls me back to the present. There’s a tinge of anger lacing his words that Blaine doesn’t seem to pick up based on how he’s grinning and chuckling.

“Oh, you know, I touched her arm, led her back behind the bathrooms so we could have some privacy.”

“She wasn’t into it, though,” Drew says quickly.

“Maybe not at first, but I have a way of turning things around. If only that bitch Alia hadn’t interfered.”

I flinch at Blaine’s insult. There’s a low exhaling noise that bursts from Drew that makes my eyes widen.

“Is that why you grabbed Rylan’s arm like that?” Drew asks.

Blaine shrugs. “A lot of girls like it rough. They just don’t know it at first.”

My jaw drops just as Brooke says, “Oh my God.”

And then the screen goes blurry for a second. There’s a shuffling noise followed by a loud slam. Then all I hear is breathing.

The image on the screen steadies. I make out Drew’s arm pressed against Blaine’s chest. Blaine wheezes.

“You’re a piece of shit,” Drew growls through the breath he heaves. “You’re a goddamn predator, and you’re going down.”

And then it all clicks in my brain. Drew did this to help me. This video is irrefutable evidence of Blaine’s behavior in case I needed it if the execs tried to challenge me. Thankfully they believed me and trusted my handling of everything . . . But the fact that Drew went through all this to secure this extra evidence against Blaine blows me away.

The video cuts out. Then Haley taps the screen. That’s when I notice the thousands of likes and retweets and views of this video.

A few comments with the #subwaygentleman hashtag catch my eye.

Damn. Good on the #subwaygentleman for calling out this predator. Fuck @blaine_stephens. Dude deserves to rot

Hell yeah @drewirons aka #subwaygentleman! This is exactly what we need more of—men willing to call out other men on their rapey behavior!

“So he . . . didn’t betray me,” I say softly. It’s like I’m in a daze trying to process the ninety seconds of video I just watched.

Haley shakes her head. “It’s obvious now that he just said all that stuff to goad Blaine into admitting what he did to Rylan. He wanted to get it on tape as proof. Oh, wait.” Haley turns her phone back so she can see it. “He wrote a caption with the video.” Her eyes go wide. “You need to read it.”

I squint at the phone.

Just in case there are any defenders of that disgusting sack of crap @blaine_stephens, here is proof of his harassment and the assault he committed on my coworker. Yes, this was a setup. He admitted to my face what he did with no remorse whatsoever. He laughed like it was a joke. And he bragged like assaulting someone is something to be proud of. And then he had the gall to call our showrunner a derogatory name for defending the woman he targeted. He deserved to lose his job with @ExpeditionNetwork and he deserves to lose every sponsorship and job opportunity he’s been given.

My head feels like it’s whirling in a million frenzied circles as I process Drew’s Instagram post.

“When did he post this video?”

“This morning,” Haley says. “It’s been trending all over Twitter and Instagram. Rylan was the one who forwarded me the link. She told me that Drew called her earlier today and explained he had a video of Blaine confessing what he did and asked if she’d feel comfortable posting it to expose him. After she watched it, she said she was one hundred percent on board.”

He was probably going to tell me all this when he called me today . . .

“I was wrong . . . He tried to tell me . . .”

Haley squints at me. I explain how Drew called me before the presentation and how I talked over him to go off on him and to tell him I love him.

“Whoa . . .” she mutters.

My brain finally catches up. This means Drew’s loyalty for me never wavered. It means that his feelings for me are true. And it means that I need to find him immediately and try to make things right.

Brooke holds up a hand. “I’m sorry, but what is going on?”

Haley turns to her. “I swear, I’m going to fill you in.” She spins back to me. “You and Drew need to talk. Now.”

I nod and smack her phone back into her hand, then hug her before darting out of the conference room. I jog to my office, grab my purse, and sprint down the hall in the direction of the elevators.

As I smack the buttons a dozen times, it occurs to me that I have no idea where Drew lives. I know he lives in Brooklyn, but I never asked his address. I start to dig my phone out of my purse. Maybe if I call him on my way out of the building, he can give me his address, and then I can sprint over there and we can talk and make all of this right . . .

The elevator on the far side dings and begins to open. I dart over to it and stop dead in my tracks. “Drew.”

It’s the first time I’ve seen him in the flesh since Utah, and for a long second, all I can do is stare. He’s not an image on a computer screen that I’ve been looking at for hours and hours—he’s the real thing, standing right in front of me in the elevator, and he’s ten million times more divine in person. His hair is mussed, and he’s shaved his beard. Now it looks more like a well-grown five-o’clock shadow. He’s wearing jeans and this plaid, casual button-up that is rolled up along his perfect forearms. He looks like a hot lumberjack who got a trim at the barber. The very definition of ruggedly handsome.

His brow is wrinkled all the way to his hairline, and he’s gazing at me like he can’t believe he’s seeing me.

“Alia.” The way he says my name sounds breathless. I wonder if he sprinted to get here too.

His dazzling hazel-brown eyes fall down the length of my body. “Whoa . . . you look amazing.”

“Thanks. Listen, I—”

A boisterous crowd of suits walks over to the elevators.

One of the older men laughs and looks in our direction. “You going up?”

“No,” I bark at him, then jump into the elevator with Drew. The doors shut and I hit the emergency button, which stalls us.

“What are you doing?” Drew asks.

“We need to talk now, and I don’t want anything or anyone interrupting us. I just saw the video you posted.”

“You did?”

I nod. “I was taking the trash out at the hotel before leaving for the airport and overheard you with Blaine. I only heard part of the conversation . . . I had no idea what you were planning to do. That’s why it hurt to hear what you said. I thought you were telling him how you really felt about me. And honestly . . . as weird as this might sound, hearing you say all that triggered me. It reminded me of what Reid did to me all those years ago, how he lied about me and betrayed my trust.”

Sadness shines in his eyes as he nods.

“I’m so, so sorry, Drew. I should have let you just explain yourself.”

I sniffle, trying to hold back tears.

“It’s okay. I owe you an apology for what I said. I didn’t mean any of it, not a single word. I was just trying to think of something I could say to him to get him to admit what he did. And I understand why you were upset . . . You had no idea what was going on, plus the trauma of your relationship with Reid . . . Honestly, if the same thing had happened to me, I would have reacted just like you did.” He rubs his hand along the back of his neck. “It all happened so fast, that day at the hotel. I was walking to get ice and then out of the blue I saw Blaine wandering the halls. He wanted to confront you, and something clicked in my head. I thought that this would be the perfect opportunity to get proof of what he did, in case he or anyone tried to go against you or Rylan.” He shakes his head. “So I took him aside, put my phone in the front pocket of my shirt, hit record on my camera, and tried to make him think that I was on his side.”

“It worked,” I say. “You got him to admit what he did on video.”

He sighs. “I wanted to tell you. I didn’t want to release it without you knowing. But then when you sent that text and then blocked my calls, I went out of my mind trying to figure out what I did wrong. And then when we talked this morning, it all clicked. And that’s when I called Rylan to post the video on social media and hoped you would see it—so you would see that I never meant to hurt you . . . even though I did. And then I thought screw it, I should just run over here to try and explain everything to you . . . I don’t know why I didn’t think to do that sooner. I’ve just been such a mess these last couple of days without you . . .”

His face twists like he’s in agony. I squeeze his hand again and step closer to him. “It’s okay. Situations like this are always messy. There’s never a neat and clean way to expose someone horrible.”

The lump that’s been lodged in my throat ever since leaving Utah eases. Everything is out in the open. Now for the next part—the most important part.

“Drew, I meant what I said on the phone earlier. I love you. So much. I know that we just met two months ago, and I have a lot of work to do on myself . . . I’m gonna start seeing a therapist to talk about my relationship trauma with Reid. I think it’ll help me move on . . . so I’m in a better, healthier place for my next relationship.” I swallow, taking a much-needed moment to calm my nerves. “I’ve never felt about anyone the way I feel about you, Drew. And I know that most people would think it’s too soon . . . And you probably aren’t totally out of your mind like me and fall in love after knowing someone for weeks, but that’s okay because I just want to be with you and . . .” I pause to calm my frenzied heartbeat. “Can we please start over?”

A hard swallow moves along his stubble-covered neck. “No way am I starting over with you.”

All the breath leaves my body. My hand loosens around his, but then he pulls me against him.

“I don’t want to start over because I’d rather pick up where we left off. I love you, Dunn.” A grin stretches across those gorgeous lips of his. “And if we both love each other, there’s no reason to start over. We can move straight ahead.”

My eyes well up, but this time I’m grinning so wide my cheeks ache. And then he leans down and kisses me. I lose track of the seconds, the minutes, the time, the place. Kissing Drew feels like coming home. I don’t ever want to stop.

When we finally break apart, I’m still grinning.

I cup his scruffy cheek with my hand. “So that means—”

Just then the elevator doors squeak open. When we twist around to look, there’s a maintenance guy in coveralls standing right in front of the doors . . . and a small crowd of people standing behind him. The loud guys in suits look on, confused expressions on their faces. Behind them stand Haley and Brooke. Both of them go from frowning to grinning once they see it’s us in the elevator.

Coveralls guy frowns at us. “The elevator doesn’t seem broken.”

“Oh, um, sorry about that,” I say, my face heating. “False alarm.”

I’m still hugging Drew by the waist when I answer him. Despite how shocking it is to have an audience, I grin wide. I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to stop smiling around him.

Coveralls guy rolls his eyes and walks away.

“Uh . . . can we get in the elevator, then?” the loud suit from minutes ago asks.

Drew starts to stammer something, but then Haley walks over.

“This elevator is spoken for. You’re better off taking the stairs. Or wait for the next elevator,” she says to him. Then she turns to us. “You guys made up?”

Drew and I nod at her. She beams at us. I look up at Brooke and see an amused smile on her face.

She glances at Drew. “Andrew. Good to see you.”

“Hey, Brooke. Likewise.”

And then I suddenly realize how odd this all must look—two crew members all over each other in the elevator at work. My hands fall from Drew as I turn to face Brooke.

“Sorry, Brooke . . . I . . . I, um . . . This probably isn’t the most professional behavior in the world. Crew members pairing up during a shoot, that is.” I let out an embarrassed chuckle.

She holds up her hand. “You don’t have to justify anything to me. That’s how Greg and I met, remember?”

I nod, remembering how she’s now dating the subject of her current series.

“Finding romance is quite a feat when you’re on location. I would know,” she says. “Enjoy yourselves.”

I let out a breath, relieved. Drew peers down at me while wiggling his eyebrows before he scoops my hand into his once more.

Haley walks up to the elevator, a knowing smile on her face. “You two heard Brooke. Enjoy yourselves.”

She presses a button, and the doors close once more.

Drew glances up at the floor numbers that are positioned at the top of the elevator. “Looks like we’re headed for the basement.”

“No one ever goes to the basement,” I say. “That’s where all the utility stuff is.”

Drew smirks at me. “Haley’s a genius. That gives us sixty floors to enjoy ourselves.”

He wraps his arms around me, tugging me close against his body. I bite my bottom lip, my heart pounding. But behind all this excitement lies contentment. All that uncertainty and struggle and anticipation of the last several weeks have brought us here. Despite everything, Drew and I are finally, officially together. I’ve never been so happy.

“Does this mean we’ll finally get to live out my fantasy of you having your way with me in an elevator?”

I tug at the buttons on his shirt. “Possibly. I’ve got a pretty good idea of what we can get up to.”

He grins, his heart in his eyes. “I’m all yours, Dunn.”