The phone rang, seeming to lag and echo.
“Hello, Ebi Mission. Can I help you?” said a native teacher Scott recognized.
“Hi, this is Scott. Is there any way I could talk with Jerry?”
The person on the other end paused. “Oh, hi Scott. I’ll tell you what. If you can call back in fifteen minutes, I’ll see if I can find him for you, okay?”
“Okay, I’ll call back.” Scott hung up the phone and sat heavily on a stool. He knew the drill there on Ebi. There was only one phone at the mission. It often took a long wait or an appointment reach any of the staff.
Scott sat back. He felt relieved now. Charles, Grace and Laura had all left, and after the late lunch, his aunt and uncle were now taking a nap. Scott waited for 15 minutes, then picked up the phone and dialed the Marshall Islands country code, then the number. After a few seconds, it began to ring.
“Hello, Ebi Mission. Can I help you?” the same native answered again.
“Yes. This is Scott. Did you find Jerry?”
“He’s right here waiting, here he is.”
Scott heard the phone being handed away.
“Hey Scott, how you doing?” Jerry’s familiar voice drew Scott back to the islands.
He blinked and held the phone to his ear. “I’m doing all right.”
“Well, if you had called any later, you would have missed me. Abra and us guys were just getting ready to go out in his boat when they found me.”
Scott smiled at the memory. The Saturday afternoon boat rides, and evening worship on the beach with coconut husk fires.
“How’s your foot healing up?” Jerry’s voice brought Scott back to the moment.
“Oh great, it’s healing great. No infection, and if I’m careful I won’t need to even wear a bandage in a couple of days.” Scott decided not to tell Jerry about how he had reopened it. Not yet, at least.
“We miss you here, Scott.” Jerry sounded sincere. “It’s not the same without you, especially for me.”
“I know.” Scott gulped, “I don’t know why God had me leave yet, but I know there’s a reason. I’ll never forget the memories I have from there, though.”
“That sounds like quite an attitude change,” Jerry observed. “You were pretty upset when you left.”
Scott adjusted the phone. “I still am sad, but there’s nothing I can change by being angry with God, I just have to accept what happened and go forward. I know God had my best interest in mind, looking back now, even if I didn’t believe it then.”
“Hmm,” Jerry said. “I’ve never heard you talk like that.”
Scott shifted uneasily. “I haven’t told anyone this before Jerry.” He paused. “I had a dream when I was in the hospital, and it made quite an impact on me.”
“When you where delirious and they gave you the antibiotic?” Jerry asked.
“Yes. I’m pretty sure it must have been some time then, though I don’t know exactly. That whole time is pretty fuzzy to me.”
“You sure were carrying on a racket a few times. You kept the nurse and me busy, kicking your blankets off.”
“Well, this is what I dreamed.” Scott related the dream of the two roads and the tall teacher who he was sure was Satan. “Ever since that dream, I know God has a direction for me, and that this all happened for a reason.”
The friends talked for several more minutes about how the mission was doing, Scott going to the doctor, and about Laura.
“I think she must hate me,” Scott finished. “It’s so weird.”
“That’s amazing,” Jerry said. “I mean, you met her on the plane and everything.”
Scott lifted his eyebrows as he talked. “And it wasn’t like I was emotionally ready to meet her then, if you can imagine.” He laughed, “I’m amazed that I didn’t freak her out on the airplane.”
The two friends reminisced, stalling the goodbye they both knew would come. Scott cleared his throat. “I’m getting ready to go back home to Alaska now, Jerry. I’m going to call my parents to get my tickets after I hang up with you.” He paused. “I’m a little apprehensive.” After a few more minutes of talking, Scott said goodbye. “Good to talk to you, Jerry, I’m really thankful for all you did for me.”…
After he hung up on Jerry, Scott pulled on the phone cord a couple of times. He knew he was procrastinating making the call home. He felt like it was the same with Alaska and his parents, no matter how far he managed to get away from home. Whether it was the tropics or a different state, something seemed to always draw him back: an accident, a connection, something. It was like he was on a massive cord, and no matter how far he’d run to escape, he’d always be pulled back to confront what he was running from.
With a deep breath, he lifted the receiver and dialed the number. As usual, his dad answered.
“Hello?” He sounded like he had just woke up.
“Uh, hi, Dad. This is Scott.”
“Oh. Hi.” His dad’s voice was brisk. “What’s up?”
“I’m doing quite a bit better, Dad. I think I’m ready to fly back now.”
“Oh, really?” his dad sounded a little annoyed and surprised. “Didn’t you just get there two days ago?”
Scott took a breath. “No, Dad, I’ve been here almost a week now.”
“Oh, I must have lost track of time.” His dad sounded like he was writing something, “Call me back in two hours, and I’ll tell you when to go to the airport. I just need to call the airlines. I’m assuming you want me to buy the ticket?”
Scott felt his face flush. “I can pay you when I get back, Dad. I’ll—”
“Forget it, Scott. Don’t make promises you can’t keep.” His dad’s voice was cutting.
“I will, Dad, I made the money to come out here—”
“Just call back in two hours.” The line went dead.
Scott heaved a breath and banged the receiver down. His dad always made him feel so small and worthless. He had the money! He turned as he heard a noise.
“Everything okay, Scott?” John stood in the hall behind him, a look of concern on his face.
“Oh yeah. My dad’s making my tickets home now.” Scott began to turn away, dejected.
“What is it? I think I’ll understand.” John walked out of the hall and put a hand on Scott’s shoulder. “I really do think I might.”
Scott hesitated, then turned back, frustration in his face. “I just can’t understand what my dad’s problem is. He always puts me down.” He reached into his back pocket and pulled his wallet out. “Here, let me give you some money for letting me stay here.” He began to pull a wad of 20s from its folds.
“Stop, Scott, don’t be ridiculous.” John held both hands up. “I won’t take any of your money. I’m glad you came.
Save that money so you can come back again.” John shook his head. “Now, you just stick that back in your pocket and don’t let me see it again.”
Scott replaced his wallet in his pocket at his uncle’s prodding. “It’s – It’s just my dad just insulted me about not being able to pay for my ticket. I can’t help it that the return money I had saved was used for sending me here.” Scott sat down on the couch suddenly. “I don’t know what to do. I’m dreading going home so much. I have so much there I just want to leave behind.”
John sat on the couch across from Scott quietly. “This may sound weird, but I want to tell you something very important.” He paused. “When I was your age, I followed my brother Matthew and left home. I couldn’t stand it there. I hated my dad so much.” He paused, eyes misting at the memory. “It was a hard time, but a certain man told me some advice that changed my life, and this is what he said.” John’s eyes were bright now as he explained. “I was telling him how much I hated my dad, and that I was running away from my problems, basically. He told me, ‘John, embrace your pain, stop running from it, you’ll be a better man for it.’”
John turned to Scott now. “You may be trying to escape from your past, but when you do that, it will always catch up with you and pull you down. I believe the reason you are going home is so that you can face your demons, and conquer them, so that you can embrace your weaknesses and make them into strengths.” He looked at Scott with intensity. “Embrace them.” He reached out a hand and took Scott’s in a firm grip. “Scott, I love you for my brother’s sake.” His hand shook slightly. “I want you to come back and visit me, and when you do, I don’t want it to be because you’re running from something. I want it to be because you want to do some shark diving with me.” His face suddenly split into a wide smile, “You hear what I’m saying?”
Scott nodded. The idea was strange. Embrace your pain? He didn’t want to do that! “Why should I embrace my pain? Logically, I want to get as far from it as possible.”
“Because it’s the only way you can truly heal from it. If you hide it, it will resurface and sabotage your life.” John looked back at Scott evenly. “Trust someone who has had to learn that the hard way.”
“Who told you that?” Scott cocked his head.
“Well, if you must know, it was a certain man I think you actually know.” John smiled.
“It’s not Pastor Tim, is it?” John nodded. Scott gave a shaky laugh. “It seems like something strange he’d say.”
“He’s a wise man, Scott.” John had a serious expression on his face.
Scott looked down and away, and nodded, “I know. It’s just I have a lot of pain to embrace then,” he said huskily.
“It’s worth it, Scott. When you embrace your pain, it allows those wounds to heal, and it makes you stronger.”
Scott nodded. “Thanks, Uncle John. You’ve been really good to me. I want to come back and go shark diving with you, too.”