Brigit trailed her fingers over the mouse pad on her laptop. The page on the screen was open to jobs in Arizona. Close to her parents.
She’d exhausted places in Minneapolis that she was qualified for, but that damn lack of experience—relevant experience. At this rate, her sleazy ex qualified for more jobs than she did because of his insurance background.
She knew practically no one else in other major cities, and moving somewhere and starting over was no longer appealing. How times had changed.
At night, she slept with Caleb in his room, but during the day, she applied for jobs in here. She was isolating this part of herself away from the fun she had with Caleb. This damn computer shadowed her relationship with Caleb.
She slept with him. Ate with him. Did chores with him. But they weren’t moving forward, not as a couple.
There was nowhere for her to go. She was happy, for now, but she couldn’t continue to rely on Caleb, Justin, and her parents to support her through life.
Clicking to her other screen, she scowled at the dismal list of positions in Moore. Night clerk at the bigger hotel in town. Gas station attendant. Nurses. She should’ve gone to nursing school. There were always openings, and they actually paid a livable wage. Unlike the gas station and night clerk. The benefits in those places helped, but not enough.
Besides, the only creatures she wanted to nurse had cloven hoofs. Maybe she should’ve set her sights on veterinary school. But no. Then she would’ve been a full-time vet watching everyone else ranch. Might as well make a clean break.
Only it wouldn’t be clean anymore, would it?
Caleb.
He’d gotten home from work this morning and run out to his place to check on things. I’ll bring home lunch. I have to talk with you about work.
Her work, or his? He hadn’t said, but he seemed part excited and part stressed.
Closing the window for Moore’s classifieds, she prepared herself to search Phoenix’s openings. Hell, maybe she should look at Fargo. It was big enough and constantly growing. But it was also far enough away that a commute wasn’t ideal, and she’d be caught between wanting to move home and not being able to. She’d also be close enough to learn about how everyone else moved on with their lives once she left.
Caleb.
Her heart twisted. What was she going to do?
The phone rang.
She saw the number and sucked in a breath. This was the call she’d been waiting for.
Shaking her hands, she blew out, “Hello?”
“Hi. Can I talk to Brigit Walker, please?”
Brigit recognized the department manager she’d interviewed with in Minneapolis. Her smile grew until her cheeks hurt. “This is Brigit.”
Finally, a little validation that she’d done well, that all her hard studying over the years would amount to something. That she’d amounted to something.
“Hi, Brigit. This is Danielle Costa with Golden Waves Credit Union. Listen, you’re going to be getting a letter from us, but I wanted to contact you in person.”
Brigit wiggled. The impending move, uprooting herself to move back to the city, and leaving her loved ones behind all took a backseat to this moment. She’d give herself this moment to celebrate a hard-won victory.
Danielle continued. “I was just so impressed with you, but unfortunately I wasn’t the only person involved in the decision.” Brigit’s smile wavered and faded the more Danielle spoke. “The position was offered to another applicant and they accepted. I wanted to call personally and thank you for coming out to speak with us, and I urge you to apply with us again.”
“Oh… Okay.” Her vision blurred, and she dropped her head into her free hand. “Thanks for calling.”
Danielle said a few other things, but Brigit didn’t catch them. She just wanted to get off the phone and break down. She managed to say goodbye and sound semiprofessional.
Foolish, foolish, foolish. Why would the best place out of all the ones she’d applied to offer her a spot when she could barely get her resume taken seriously anywhere else?
Tears rolled down her cheeks. All that school for nothing. Mom and Dad had paid for all that school and she couldn’t use it. Oliver had carried her ass for years while she’d gotten her degrees. He had a job.
All she had to show were snail mail and digital letters of rejection.
Time ticked by. She sighed and went to the bathroom. Hopefully a little water would take some of the puffiness out of her face.
Trudging back into her bedroom, she settled in with her laptop. What jobs were open in Phoenix again?
Time ticked by and she moved on from devastated to numb. By now, she had a process to applying. Need a resume? She had three different types. References? Three to five, take your pick. List of addresses, all the schools she’d attended, it was all at her fingertips.
By the time a motor droned closer and closer to the house, she’d put in for five different positions in Phoenix. Two market research analysts, an operations research analyst, and—to hell with it—a clinic administrator.
Getting on her coat and stepping into her boots, she resolved to be cool and collected. She wasn’t sure if she could tell the story without tears, and while Caleb was always her cheerleader, showing her in so many ways that he had complete faith in her, he shouldn’t have to do it constantly.
Yes, not getting this job was a big deal, but it was a bump in the road and she’d wait until she could hold the waterworks at bay.
Outside, Caleb was at the shop, brushing a dusting of snow off the cement slab in front of the main door.
He looked up, squinting in the bright sun of a winter day. “Hey. Hungry?”
“I think there’s some leftover venison from last night in the fridge.”
“Want to go to town?”
Not really, but it’d do her good to get out. Face her disappointment and keep going. “Sure.”
She looked down at her favorite pair of jeans that were nearly white around the knees. The coat she’d chosen was her Carhartt Sherpa-lined jacket. It’d seen more than a few chore days and while she washed it often, its natural state was now grunge.
“You look fine. We’ll just hit the Brown House.”
Her stomach growled at the thought of their greasy burger and fries. The day hovered above zero degrees and doing chores in the cold always ramped up her appetite.
He kept pushing snow. The dusting was closer to an inch, and while Justin didn’t need much of an excuse to fire up the snow blower, her brother was with Maisy at one of her first OB appointments. With Priya as the OB. He’d either want to work until he dropped when he got back or collapse on the couch with a six-pack.
There was always something to do. Brigit grabbed the big shop broom and joined Caleb.
“Anything exciting happen today?” Breath puffed out of the coat collar he’d crunched his face in to block the wind.
She liked the sting. It reminded her that she had a warm bed to go to each night and a family that loved and supported her. A little below-zero wind chill centered her. “I found out I didn’t get the job we went to the Cities for.”
Damn. She hadn’t meant to spill it so soon. But this was as good a place to talk as any. Any tears would disappear in the cold, dry air, and it’d look like the weather was the reason her eyes watered.
“Shit, Bridge. I’m sorry.”
She stopped pushing the broom, both hands gripping the handle. “They liked me enough to call and tell me to keep applying. Not sure how to interpret that.”
“That’s good, right?”
“Better than nothing.” She was about to tell him that she’d applied to several places in Phoenix, but she ducked her head and plowed another strip clear.
“And Moore’s still…”
“I looked and didn’t find anything,” she said, her tone shorter than she’d intended. Was that guilt rearing its head? She was enjoying her time with Caleb. But getting a job meant leaving him. It was a weird contradiction she lived in. “We should eat before the lunch rush hits, or everyone’s going to listen to what we say.”
Caleb glanced at the house, his expression pensive.
“What?”
“We don’t have to—”
“I didn’t get shitty news to have leftovers. Come on. Justin paid me for last week. I’ll treat.” Caleb lifted his shovel but didn’t move. “The LT called me into the office. They want me to apply for a position that’s opening soon. It’ll mean more responsibility but more pay. And it’s a stepping stone to future promotions.”
The cold wasn’t so refreshing now. It sapped her energy, chapped her cheeks, and she wanted to crawl under the covers. Caleb didn’t want to shake salt on her wounded pride and was offering to let her stay home and sulk. He was also stifling his own good news for her.
“Then we definitely need to eat out.” Her words came out too cheerful, but dammit, she was trying.
“Bridge—”
“Caleb. You’re good at your job. You’re trying to build a house. This is good news. Don’t hide it because you think I’ll feel bad.”
He closed the distance between them and stood so he blocked the wind. “How you feel is important to me.”
He was a good man. The best. His grandparents should get a commendation. “And your good news is important to me.”
His gaze swept over her face. “You always have a place with me.” The corner of his lips popped up. “Well, when I have a place.” He grew serious. “But my ranch is your ranch. I think the cows listen to you better.”
It almost sounded like he was proposing. Oh God, what would she say? Elation nearly pushed all thought aside.
No, of course he wasn’t proposing. He wasn’t the type of guy to ask her to marry him just to get her to stay.
Even if she wanted to stay. Was she strong enough to face the uphill battle of being a rancher’s wife? A life of insisting that she didn’t have to defer to Caleb because she was in charge? Would she really be in charge? Was there such a thing as a pity ranch?
Regardless, she didn’t need to figure it out now. “We should get going.”
His jaw tensed. She’d stepped on his feelings, but analyzing them out in the cold wouldn’t help either of them. Especially when her single-minded goal for the last ten years was in danger of evaporating with her tears.