I strode down the hallway toward my room. The guards openly stared at me, but I ignored them.
“You can’t remember him, and yet you still go to him whenever you can,” a voice behind my back said just before I was about to open the door. I turned around and met the guy’s blue eyes.
“You are... Noah?” I believed that was his name.
“Yeah,” he said. “That’s me. And I don’t know what that bastard told you, but you shouldn’t believe a word that comes out of his mouth. He’s still refusing to reveal his father’s location to anyone, and his father is one of the biggest criminals in the country; he tortured and killed people like us. Do you want to see Jaiden’s file? Maybe that will open your eyes.”
“I’m sorry. I’m tired right now. Maybe some other time.” I gave him a small smile and went into my room. As I was closing the door, I saw Noah was gaping at me like a fish. What did he expect? That he could just tell me who I was and what I should do?
Calling to my element, I used it to push the bed in front of the door so that no one could come in and interrupt what I was about to do. I didn’t know of any other ways to regain my memory, but I couldn’t live based on fake memories and only bits and pieces of my life. I needed to know the truth. It was worth the risk.
Lily’s men could probably detect elemental energy levels, and I knew my levels would shoot through the roof, so I needed to make sure they didn’t burst inside at the wrong moment. I didn’t want to mess up my mind or turn it into mush. But if I told anyone here what I was planning to do, I was sure they’d try to dissuade me just as Jaiden had done.
I sat down in the middle of the floor and took a deep breath. Closing my eyes, I called to my element and let it roam through the room. How exactly was I supposed to do this and get inside my own head? Wouldn’t my element simply slide back inside of me like it did when I wanted to stop using it? As I guided the shimmering toward my head, it wavered as it entered inside and disappeared, slamming itself back inside of me. Shit.
I gritted my teeth and increased my energy. I could control this. I had to. This time, the thread slipped inside and didn’t disappear, but my mind was fuzzy and I couldn’t see anything. Five attempts later, I glimpsed at an image of the brain signals, and they were almost all dark gray or black. I swallowed, my heart thudding in my chest.
I fed my energy into the signals, hoping I wouldn’t lose control. A splitting headache made me gasp, and tears pooled in the corners of my eyes. My element slid out, and I was vaguely aware of falling down to the ground, my head hitting the cold floor.
Blake and I were standing in the middle of our room at his house.
Elemontera. The word flashed through my mind like an echo, and I put my hand on my forehead.
“Moira,” I heard Blake say. “What is it?”
“Nothing,” I said as the pain assaulted my head again.
“It’s not nothing. I can see it on your face. Tell me,” he pressed, his voice almost a whisper.
“I remembered something called Elemontera,” I blurted out before I could stop myself. Why was the pain doing this to me? Why couldn’t I stop myself from doing things I didn’t really want to do?
“It was a TV show,” Blake said, but when I looked up at him, I could see his shoulders were tense. He was lying. I knew he was lying, but why? “Forget about it. We have more important things to do. Don’t you agree?”
“No.” My head was spinning, and I was afraid I was going to topple to the ground. I stumbled and leaned on the wall, pressing my head against its cold surface. “You’re hiding something. You’re...” I almost cried out as I felt as if someone had run a knife through my brain.
“Moira, this never happened. You didn’t remember anything. You won’t try to remember anything. All you want to do is find the Strong, because that’s the right thing to do.”
I sank to the floor, hugging my knees. The whole world was spinning, Blake’s face going in and out of sight. I was vaguely aware of Raven entering the room.
“What the hell did you do now?” She scowled, and she and Blake crouched in front of me.
“I was wrong to pick the easier way. I can’t only twist her memories. She’ll remember things she isn’t supposed to,” he said.
I wanted to push him away from me, get up, and run out, but my whole body was shaking.
“You can’t just erase and rewrite someone’s whole life,” Raven said. “We’ll lose her. Her mind might not be able to handle it.”
“We won’t lose her! I’ll fix this,” Blake yelled, grasping my chin. “I can do this,” he said quietly as if he were trying to convince himself. Do what?
“Hope you don’t mess up this time, because I have a feeling it’ll be your last chance,” Raven said. “We need a safe way to control her, not lose her every time something familiar pops up.”
“Not while I have this.” Blake was holding a small red book.
The pain was too much for me, and before my eyes closed, I thought I saw something shimmer around me.
Images flashed in front of my eyes in quick succession: my parents, the university, Elemontera, Roivenna... Everything clicked into place. I opened my eyes with a gasp. Someone was banging on the door and yelling, and I pulled myself up, my vision slightly blurry. Rage spread through me, my whole body shaking.
It had been Blake. He’d mind-controlled me to be his girlfriend and get me to believe in the prophecy. He’d been mind-controlling me the whole time, and somehow using the energy from the book to hide his shimmering thread from me, but when he was mind-controlling other people he left it visible. And he’d invented an accident so I wouldn’t be suspicious of the headaches. That sick son of a bitch! Because of him, I hadn’t been able to remember that brain signals could be healed until Nick told me about it.
“Moira! Open the door!” Noah yelled.
“Just a second!” I gathered what was left of my strength and pulled the bed away from the door with my air enough to open the door, sinking down to my knees. Noah burst inside.
“What happened? The energy levels in here set off the alarm...” He crouched next to me, placing a hand on my face. “You’re burning up. What did you do?”
A shiver ran through me because his hand was cold against my cheek. “I... I remember everything.”
“What? But how?” He gave me an incredulous look.
“I used my element... like with Nick and Kenna.” My whole body felt as if it were filled with pins and needles.
Noah’s eyes bulged. “Are you crazy? How could you risk...?”
I chuckled. “Crazy? We’ll see. Are you going to yell at me for doing something that actually worked?”
“No, I just... I can’t believe you did this.” He put his arms around my shoulders and helped me get to the bed. “How are you feeling?”
“Exhausted. Pissed off.”
“It’ll be okay,” Noah said, helping me to lie down.
“No, it won’t. I almost killed a little girl because that fucking psychopath made me believe my only purpose in life was to complete some stupid ritual!” I ran my hand over my face. Part of me wished I hadn’t been able to remember the parts of my life when I’d been under mind control, but I couldn’t just forget about that and erase it as if it hadn’t happened.
“None of it was your fault,” Noah said. “He gave you fake memories and your actions were a consequence of that.”
The corners of my lips quirked up, and I closed my eyes. It was nice of Noah to believe that, but I knew the truth. Blake might have changed what I knew about my whole life, but there were things I’d done and decisions I’d made that were all my own. There was some small part of me that did want the power. I couldn’t deny that.
“Do you want to see your parents?” Noah suddenly asked, and I looked up at him. “We’ve told them to stay away until we decided what to do with you, but if you remember everything...”
I nodded. “Yeah.” My parents must have been too much of a trigger for me that Blake had completely pushed them out of my memory and switched them with images of unknown people. I didn’t know who the dark-haired fake mother was, but it wouldn’t surprise me if she were Blake’s own mother.
“I’ll be right back.” Noah immediately went for the door, and my insides started to quiver. I wanted to see my parents really badly, but I didn’t know how I could look them in the eye after all I’d done. But beating myself up over what had happened wouldn’t help anyone. I had to stop Blake, because if there was one thing I knew about him, it was that he wouldn’t give up. And I had to find a way to save Jaiden.
My parents rushed into the room. My mom’s blue eyes were filled with tears as she pulled me into a tight hug. “Oh, honey.” She sobbed, running her hand through my hair.
“Nice to have you back,” my dad said, barely managing to find some space next to my mom to reach me.
“Are you okay? Do you remember everything?” my mom asked. I pulled away from them and leaned my head on the pillow.
“Yeah.” I gave her my widest smile.
“We’re going to talk to Lily. I won’t let anyone take you away from me,” my mom said determinedly. “Whatever decision the government makes, we’ll protect you and demand a fair trial. Just because you’re more powerful than most elementals doesn’t mean they can treat you however they want. The only person responsible for this mess is that man who ruined your life. We won’t let anyone punish you for that. You’re the victim here, and we’re going to prove it.” She squeezed my hand.
“Mom, where’s Lily? I need to speak with her.” I knew that the government wouldn’t just forgive me for what I’d done for no reason. They wouldn’t believe any of my excuses. All they knew was that I’d participated in a group who’d almost exposed tainted elementals to the world and caused mayhem.
Not to mention various people had been hurt. Hell, Lily should be the first one to be mad at me. I’d killed several of her men. Their families would never just forgive me and let me walk away if they knew I was responsible for the deaths of their loved ones. I deserved to pay for what I’d done, but if I were dead, I wouldn’t be able to stop Blake from ruining who knows how many lives.
“Maybe you shouldn’t do that. We barely convinced Lily that you’re not a threat. After what you did...” My dad licked his lips.
“Is she here?” If she wasn’t, then I’d have a problem. What I wanted to propose couldn’t be relayed over the phone.
“Yeah,” my mom said. “But I think she’s been busy trying to find any clues about that guy who mind-controlled you. Noah mentioned his name was Blake.” My mom’s eyes hardened. “Did Blake hurt you while you were with him? I mean...”
I knew what she meant. She wondered if Blake had done to me what my biological father had done to her, but I knew Blake and I had only kissed. “No, he just needed me for his stupid prophecy.”
My mom closed her eyes and sighed in relief. “Lily will find Blake.”
I suddenly had a pretty good idea what Lily was doing in here. She’d taken Raven and maybe some of the others from Blake’s group hostage, and she was probably questioning them to get information about Blake. “That’s exactly why I need to talk to her.”
“Okay, I’ll go find her,” my dad said, and I nodded.