Chapter Thirty-Two
It was nearly three in the morning before Aubrey made her way back upstairs to the room. Opening the door, she was surprised to find Nelson still awake. He sat on the bed with his feet up, reading a book. He hadn't even changed into his clothes for bed.
His gaze wavered over her with suspicion, but also with something else she couldn't quite decipher. "You're back. I didn't think you would be."
She closed the door and walked over to the table to put her things down. "This is my room."
He closed his book and placed it beside him on the bed. "Yes, it is, isn't it?" His voice held a slight edge to it.
Her gaze sharpened on his face. "What's that supposed to mean?"
He sighed and rubbed the bridge of his nose before looking at her again. "I don't want to fight with you, but I have the feeling you want to. You've been trying to pick one with me since I arrived." He met her gaze, looking unsure. An expression so unlike Nelson, it left her void of speech. "I've been trying to understand what's going on with you. What has changed between us." The timbre of his voice lowered with a rough edge as he swallowed hard.
She drew in a deep breath, scrambling for the words to set this right. "Nothing's going—"
"Don't," he interrupted and shook his head. He swung his legs over the edge of the bed and closed the distance between them. "I have to be honest with you. After I talked to you the other night on the phone, I had a feeling I was losing you, that I did something to disappoint you." There was unmistakable regret in his voice and she really looked at him now.
"Is that why you came?"
"Yes."
"I see." She turned away, tracing the edge of the chair with her fingertips as she thought: this was the turning point in their relationship. They were finally both looking at it with their eyes open. Tonight they would have to make a decision of where they would take it. Either they went forward with the relationship, or they ended it. There could be no going back to the way things had been. The relationship had stalled and lay stagnant for far too long.
She looked at him, her gaze meeting his. "We've been drifting apart for a long time, Nelson. We were just too comfortable with our arrangement to realize it."
He inhaled deeply, running his hand through his hair "I knew it was bad. I didn't know it had gone so far." He reached for her hand, caressing it between both of his. "My job's demanding and I forget there's more to life than work. I didn't mean to neglect you. You have to believe me."
"The funny thing is, I didn't know you had neglected me until…"
"Until?" His brow rose in question.
"Until I realized I needed more, wanted more. In a sense, I neglected you, too."
He stared at her a moment, his expression unreadable, but then he nodded. "The question then is: Is it too late for us?"
She opened her mouth only to have him place his forefinger on her lips.
"Don't answer. Not yet. Think it over carefully. Will you do that for me?"
She nodded and he removed his hand. He strode over to the bed and retrieved his coat.
"Where are you going?" she asked.
He paused at the door, but didn't look back. "I'll sleep in the library downstairs. In the morning…" He must have realized it was already morning and cleared his throat before saying more. "After you're rested, you can tell me your answer."