The One You Really Want

Nancy nearly fainted when she answered the front door at ten thirty on Boxing Day morning and found Rennie Todd standing on the doorstep.

The last time she’d seen him had been at Spike’s funeral. The time before that, at Spike and Carmen’s wedding. He was her best friend’s brother-in-law and she’d always found herself slightly at a loss for words in his presence.

And now here he was, looking even more like a rock star than ever in the out-of-context environment of her own front doorstep. His long hair gleamed, his diamond earring glittered in the sunlight and he was ridiculously tanned.

‘Honestly, she isn’t.’ As Nancy shook her head, Jonathan came up behind her to find out what was going on.

‘Carmen’s brother-in-law.’ Embarrassed to say his name, Nancy gestured awkwardly towards Rennie. ‘He’s looking for Carmen. I’m just explaining she isn’t here.’

‘Look, I’m sorry, but she is,’ Rennie insisted, reaching over and yanking Carmen into view.

‘I made her see sense. They already had plenty of volunteers for today.’ Rennie grinned. ‘Carmen isn’t as indispensable as she likes to think. Hi, I’m Rennie.’ He nodded at Jonathan, who was still standing behind Nancy. ‘I’ve heard all about you.’

‘Actually we’ve met before.’ Leaning past Nancy, Jonathan shook his hand. ‘I was there at the wedding.’ When Rennie looked blank, he added, ‘Carmen’s wedding . . . when she married your brother.’

‘Oh, right. Sorry, I don’t remember you. Never mind, we’re here now.’ Rennie flashed his dazzling smile. ‘All the way up from London. You can invite us in if you like.’

‘I can’t believe it,’ Nancy whispered when Jonathan had borne Rennie off. ‘You’re actually here. You don’t know how much better that makes me feel.’ Lowering her voice still further, she added, ‘Does Rennie know?’

‘God, this makes all the difference in the world. Come through and say hello to Mum.’ Happily Nancy dragged her through to the kitchen, where Rose flung herself at Carmen in delight.

‘What a surprise! Oh my word, it’s Christmas and I don’t even have anything for you.’ Rose loved to buy gifts for everyone; to be caught out like this clearly bothered her.

‘You didn’t know we were going to be here.’ Carmen, who’d always been fond of Nancy’s tiny, doll-sized mother, smiled and said, ‘I didn’t know we were going to be here. I didn’t get anything for you either.’

But Rose was already dragging an enamelled bangle off her wrist. ‘Here, pet, you have this. Pretty, isn’t it? But it’ll look so much better on you than on me . . . here, take it.’

‘It’s just a wee present. Don’t offend me now,’ Rose said anxiously, as she crammed the bangle over Carmen’s left hand. ‘Don’t hurt my feelings by trying to give it back.’

There really was no answer to that. Rose would give you the shirt off her back if you wanted to polish your sunglasses. Whatever she offered, you knew her feelings would be hurt if you refused. Forced to give in gracefully, Carmen said, ‘It’s gorgeous, thank you so much,’ and kissed Rose’s soft powdered cheek. The powder smelled and tasted like powder from the olden days, which, seeing as Rose only ever wore it on very special occasions, it undoubtedly was.

‘It’s lovely to see you again.’ Having patted Carmen’s face, Rose turned and said, ‘And you’re Rennie. We haven’t met before.’

Stepping forward to drop a kiss on each of her cheeks, Rennie grinned. ‘If we had, I’d definitely have remembered. Mmm, you smell gorgeous, like a Hollywood goddess. It’s like kissing Greta Garbo.’

‘Ah, get away with you!’ Flushing with pleasure, Rose playfully slapped his hand. ‘Greta Garbo’s dead.’

‘It’s like kissing Greta Garbo at the height of her beauty.’ Rennie was undeterred. ‘When she starred in Queen Christina. That’s one of my all-time favourite films.’

‘Truly?’ Rose’s face lit up. ‘Greta Garbo’s my all-time favourite actress. I watched Queen Christina on the television just the other week. They were showing it on a Sunday afternoon—’

‘And Camille,’ Rennie pulled a face, ‘but I don’t love it as much as the others.’

‘Well, who’d have thought it? You, another Garbo fan! And with hair like yours,’ Rose marvelled. ‘I mean, I know it’s one of those music things, but does it really have to be that long?’

‘So’s Rose,’ Rennie said easily. ‘Which means we can both say whatever we like. Now, we’ve sprung ourselves on you, so would you let me take you all out to lunch, to make up for it?’

‘We can feed you!’ Rose looked deeply offended; on the worktop behind her stood bowls of chopped carrots, potatoes and onions. ‘There’s more than enough for everyone.’

‘But wouldn’t lunch out be more of a treat for you? How about the Kincaid Hotel in Edinburgh?’ said Rennie. ‘It’s supposed to be fantastic. We could make a proper afternoon of it.’

Leaning against the worktop, Carmen wondered what it must be like to be Rennie, always able to do anything you wanted to do. In fairness, he’d been exactly the same before the band had known fame and fortune.

‘That sounds great then.’ Clearing his throat, Jonathan said, ‘The thing is, we’ve been invited to a party this afternoon. Seems a bit rude to let your friends down because you’ve had a better offer. Maybe I should give the lunch a miss.’

He sounded torn. Carmen guessed that, much as he wanted to be down at the party with all his friends, he was reluctant to pass up the opportunity to boast to them that he had been taken out to lunch by Rennie Todd. One thing was for sure, though. Jonathan really didn’t want to miss out on this Boxing Day bash down at the Talbot Arms. Which was interesting, Carmen thought, and rather made you wonder why not.

‘Right, better idea,’ said Rennie. ‘We’ll have Rose’s casserole for lunch and book a table at Kincaid’s for dinner this evening. Then you lot can go to your party this afternoon.’ He paused as if the thought had just occurred to him. ‘Actually, would they mind if you brought along a couple of extra guests?’

‘Great. No problem. Of course you can come along.’ Jonathan nodded vigorously and Rose let out a little exclamation of pleasure.

‘OK with you, Miss Garbo?’ Rennie turned to her to double-check. ‘You don’t mind if we gatecrash?’

‘I’d be delighted.’ Beaming up at him, Rose said, ‘And now I’ll know somebody else there. Right, I’ve a turkey casserole that needs putting together.’ In businesslike fashion she rolled up the sleeves of her blue-and-white Paisley printed shirt.

‘Go on, you two.’ Shooing Carmen and Nancy towards the kitchen door, Rennie said, ‘I know you’re dying for a proper gossip. I’ll stay in here and let Queen Christina show me how to make a casserole.’

Rose, who hadn’t grasped quite how famous her new pupil actually was, flicked at his rear end with a tea towel and said, ‘Ah now, you’re not to make fun of an old woman. Call me Rose and away with your nonsense.’ Flicking him a second time as he sneaked a wedge of raw carrot, she added, ‘And wash your hands before you start. That’s how people end up in hospital.’

‘Whatever you say, your majesty. Falling in love again . . .’ sang Rennie, turning the kitchen tap on too fast and showering himself with water.

‘That’s Marlene Dietrich, you daft lad.’ This time Rose had to use the towel to dab him dry.

‘I know it’s Marlene Dietrich. She’s my second favourite actress. You know,’ Rennie said cheerfully, ‘if I didn’t know myself better, I’d wonder if I was gay.’

Outside, bundled up in fleeces against the bitter cold, Nancy said, ‘Who’d have thought it? My mum and Rennie Todd, getting on like a house on fire.’

‘Ah well, that’s Rennie for you. He has the knack. It’s a good job Rose isn’t twenty years younger.’ Carmen’s mouth twitched. ‘You wouldn’t risk leaving her alone with him in the kitchen - oh my God, here it is!’

They had rounded the side of the house. There, ahead of them on the frosted lawn, stood the shiny red lawnmower.

‘Exhibit A, m’lud,’ said Nancy. ‘The vehicle the defendant was driving when she ran over her husband.’

‘And mowed him to death, chopping him into a million pieces.’ Carmen, arms outstretched and fingers wiggling, mimed little bits of Jonathan flying across the garden. ‘Well, you wouldn’t have to scatter his ashes. Cut out the middle man, that’s what I say.’

This was how they had always dealt with emotional crises. Ever since their schooldays, they had learned that poking fun at their various predicaments - and at the members of the opposite sex who had invariably been the cause of them - was their coping mechanism of choice.

‘You could put it on his gravestone,’ Carmen suggested. ‘Lousy husband, great plant food.’

‘Not really. But imagine how cross he’d be, having to lie there with that carved on his headstone.’ Nancy paused, then said, ‘Thanks for coming up.’

‘Get today over with, hope nothing awful happens at the party this afternoon. Once Mum’s gone back to her flat, I can ask Jonathan what he’s playing at. See what he has to say for himself.’

‘You could stay,’ said Carmen. ‘Either way, you can put it behind you and forget anything ever happened. Plenty of wives do.’

‘I know.’ Carmen smiled and gave her arm a squeeze. ‘But Rennie and I have rushed up here like the cavalry. Whatever you decide to do is up to you. This is your marriage. I don’t want you to feel pressurised into doing something drastic, just because we’re here. Because if you do, and you end up wishing you hadn’t, you might blame me for ruining your life. You might end up hating me.’

Nancy was touched. It was a big thing she could be on the verge of doing, and thinking about it was deeply scary.

‘Whatever happens, I won’t hate you. I promise.’ She patted Carmen’s icy hand. ‘It’s just so ironic, isn’t it? When you think back to a few years ago. Nobody gave your marriage a chance. Everyone was horrified when you and Spike got together. They were convinced you were making the biggest mistake of your life, they said it wouldn’t last six months. And look how happy the two of you were.’

‘But if he hadn’t, you know you’d still be together. Spike told me once that you and he were like a couple of swans,’ Nancy remembered. ‘He said you were mated for life.’

‘We got such a kick out of proving everyone wrong.’ Carmen smiled. ‘Unlike you and Jonathan.’

‘I know,’ Nancy said wryly. ‘Fairy-tale stuff. A dream come true. I was so lucky, Jonathan was such a catch, what had I ever done to deserve someone so handsome, so wealthy, with such a good job?’

‘NANCY!’ Above them, the bedroom window was flung open and Jonathan stuck his head out. ‘Where’s my blue Ralph Lauren shirt?’

‘Used it to mop the kitchen floor,’ Nancy murmured under her breath. Raising her voice, she said, ‘In your gym bag?’

‘Shit.’ Jonathan reappeared seconds later holding the offending shirt, every bit as damp and crumpled as if it had been used to mop the kitchen floor. ‘I wanted to wear this this afternoon.’ He looked hopeful. ‘If you quickly washed it, couldn’t you iron it dry?’

‘You’re a cruel and heartless woman.’ Carmen tut-tutted. ‘Fancy not rushing up there to wash and iron his shirt.’

‘I know.’ It had been the most minuscule gesture of defiance, but Nancy felt oddly liberated. ‘Just plain selfish, that’s me.’