Chapter 47
‘Sorry about earlier,’ Tabitha murmured in Zac’s ear. ‘Nancy told me in the loo. I spend my life putting my big feet in it. Now listen, this bag of hers is seriously fantastic. Can I ask how much it retails for?’
‘Three fifty.’ Zac didn’t betray his surprise that someone who was got up like Tabitha should be interested in a bag that cost that much. Her dress sense might be abysmal, but women and bags were an unfathomable law unto themselves.
‘Is that your best price?’ Tabitha was gazing longingly at Nancy’s bag.
‘My God, you drive a hard bargain.’ Zac smiled. ‘OK, OK, three hundred.’
‘Any colour I like?’
‘Any colour you like.’
‘Waiting time?’
‘Two weeks,’ said Zac.
‘Excellent. My boss is going to love this.’
That explained it, then. The bag wasn’t for Tabitha after all. To show how generous and broad-minded he was, Zac said untruthfully, ‘I like your top.’
Tabitha looked smug. She was wearing a sleeveless pink and white striped rollneck sweater with sparkly bits in it. ‘Vintage. I was over at my mum’s last week and she was chucking a whole load of stuff out. This came from Marks and Spencer twenty-five years ago. Practically the time I was born! You’d never know it, would you?’
‘Never,’ Zac solemnly agreed. What had Nancy told him Tabitha did for a living? Financial journalist, that was it.
Well, that explained a lot.
Carmen was touched that Mia should be so indignant on her behalf, but it was a faintly bizarre experience being lectured to by a sixteen-year-old.
‘Forget him,’ Mia declared between mouthfuls of asparagus. ‘Honestly, what a loser. You’re way better off without someone like that, believe me.’
Mia evidently had never known a moment of self-doubt in her life. Humouring her, Carmen said, ‘So what would you advise in future?’
‘Well, the way I see it, you have a number of choices.’ Putting down her knife and fork, Mia swished back her blond hair and with an air of importance began counting on her fingers. ‘Next time you meet a man you like, you could just say, now look here, the thing is I’m really rather rich but because I’ve been mucked about in the past you have to understand that you won’t be getting your sweaty paws on a single penny of my money because none of it is ever going to come your way.’
Sweaty paws. Attractive.
‘Right.’ Carmen nodded solemnly, envisaging herself announcing this to some open-mouthed potential suitor. ‘Is that what you’d do?’
‘Maybe, I’m not sure. Depends on the man.’ Mia was entirely serious. ‘Or you could do what you did with Nick and hope that the next man might be a bit more understanding than that wazzock when you tell him the truth.’
‘I’m not going through that again,’ Carmen said bluntly. ‘Next?’
‘OK, so maybe having all that money is the problem. In which case, have you ever thought of getting rid of it?’
The girl really was a case. ‘Have a bonfire, you mean?’
‘Nooo. Give it away to charity! All of it!’ Spreading her hands in a gesture that signalled aren’t-I-fantastic? Mia exclaimed, ‘Then you’d be poor again and all your problems would be over!’
‘That’s the worst idea I’ve ever heard.’ Carmen shook her head, struggling to keep a straight face because Mia was so young, so idealistic. ‘One, I give plenty of money to charity, but there’s such a thing as being too generous. Two, Spike earned that money, he worked his socks off for it and he’d go mental if I gave it away. And three, I don’t want to be poor again. I’m sorry, I’m just not that unselfish.’
‘Oh well, it was a long shot.’ Mia shrugged. ‘To be honest, I probably wouldn’t want to do that either.’
‘Any other ideas?’
‘Find someone rich.’
Great. Back to Hugh Hefner.
‘Rennie already had that idea,’ said Carmen.
‘Did he?’ Mia speared a cherry tomato with her fork. ‘Interesting.’
‘Why is that interesting?’
‘Well, Rennie’s rich.’
Carmen choked on her drink. Spluttering and feeling hot, she said, ‘What’s that supposed to mean?’
‘Nothing. I’m just saying.’
‘Rennie’s my brother-in-law.’
‘So? It’s not illegal. In fact it’s surprisingly common,’ Mia went on, warming to her cause. ‘I mean, think about it. They have the same genes. If you like one brother enough to marry them, why wouldn’t you like the other?’
Carmen took another gulp of wine. ‘I do like Rennie. As a friend. But he isn’t like Spike. They might share the same genes but if you didn’t know they were brothers, you’d never guess. They’re different in every way.’
‘OK. But he’s still rich.’ Mia was implacable.
‘So’s Prince Philip, but it doesn’t mean I fancy him.’
Rolling her eyes, Mia said, ‘Excuse me. Rennie’s a teeny bit better looking than Prince Philip. I mean, I know he’s almost old enough to be my father, but even I can see he’s a catch.’
Carmen couldn’t quite believe they were having this conversation. Rennie would die laughing if he overheard what Mia was saying.
‘It’s not going to happen,’ she repeated. ‘He really isn’t my type.’
‘Why not?’
Oh, for heaven’s sake. ‘He just isn’t, OK? Trust me.’
Mia said interestedly, ‘Have you ever slept with him?’
‘No!’ Carmen gazed around wildly, wondering if anyone would notice if she gagged Mia with a napkin.
‘Fine, calm down, only asking.’ Carrying on unperturbed, Mia said, ‘Ever thought about it?’
A napkin probably wouldn’t be big enough. Maybe a tablecloth. ‘No.’
‘What, never even wondered what it’d be like?’
‘Of course I haven’t!’ lied Carmen, beginning to panic.
‘No need to go red. It’s only natural to wonder things. I mean, Rennie’s got millions of fans. He’s extra good-looking. They’d give anything to sleep with him—’
‘And plenty of them have,’ Carmen said bluntly, ‘which could explain why the idea doesn’t interest me.’
‘Really? Gosh, now that is interesting.’ Completely seriously Mia said, ‘So who would you go for then, if you could choose? Cliff Richard?’
When dinner was over, everyone retreated to the bar downstairs to collapse into red velvet sofas, unfasten tight zips, and carry on drinking and gossiping. Having checked that Tabitha was happily occupied chatting away to Mia and Nancy, Connor joined Rennie over at the bar and lit up a long overdue cigarette.
‘Great evening,’ said Connor, offering him a Marlboro and accepting a balloon glass of cognac. ‘Thanks.’
‘My pleasure.’ Rennie’s eyes glittered with amusement. ‘Especially the look on Zac’s face when Tabitha nearly outed him in front of his old man.’
‘I thought Zac was going to wet himself. Poor Tab, she was mortified when she found out what she’d almost done.’
Rennie nodded over at Tabitha, with her tousled blond hair and merry face. ‘So is this it then? Could she be the one?’ It wasn’t that he hankered after Tabitha himself, but the thought of couples being idyllically happy together had begun to stir envy in him in recent months.
‘No,’ said Connor.
‘No? Really? I thought the two of you got on well.’
‘We do. But she still isn’t the one.’ Shaking his head, Connor took a drag of his cigarette and exhaled a plume of smoke. ‘OK, you want the truth? I’ve developed a system. It’s called self-preservation. You see, Mia’s desperate to see me settled down.’ He pulled a face. ‘And you know what my daughter’s like when she gets an idea into her head. So what I do now is, I never let on when I really like someone, otherwise Mia just charges in like a rhino. It’s mayhem. The best thing to do is head her off at the pass, just state categorically that whoever it is does nothing for you. That way, you nip her plans in the bud before she can destroy your life.’
Rennie grinned, only too easily able to imagine Mia in unstoppable matchmaking mode. ‘She’s a handful.’
‘You’re not kidding.’ Connor spoke with feeling. ‘Once, when she was ten, she asked me if I thought her form teacher was pretty. Miss Quinn, her name was. Well, the unfortunate woman had cross-eyes and a bit of a wart on her nose, but what can you do? I said I thought Miss Quinn was very pretty and didn’t think any more of it. But that was enough for Mia. She wrote an essay about her daddy being in love with Miss Quinn and wanting to marry her so they could have lots of children together and live happily ever after in a big house by the sea. Bloody embarrassing parents’ evening, let me tell you, being flirted with by Miss Quinn and her quivering wart. She kept telling me how much she loved the theatre, waiting for me to ask her out. Anyway,’ Connor shuddered at the memory and stubbed out his cigarette, ‘that was enough to scar me for life. Never again. Mia might be able to boss me around but there’s no way she’s going to interfere with my love life. She encouraged me to go out with Tabitha and I’m going along with that to keep her happy, but there’s no future in it. If I really like someone, the last thing I’m going to do is let Mia get wind of - oh, hi!’
‘Hi,’ said Nancy, breathing fast as Connor spun round to face her. ‘Sorry, I didn’t mean to—’
‘Pinch your bum?’ said Rennie cheerfully. ‘Nance, you have to stop doing that. It’s harassment.’
‘Interrupt.’ Flustered, Nancy attempted to make sense of what she’d just overheard. If it meant what she thought it meant . . .
‘Hey, no problem, Nancy can pinch my bum any time she likes.’ Connor grinned, then glanced over at the sofas. ‘Although Zac’s father might wonder what’s going on.’
‘Not to mention Tabitha,’ Rennie added with a wink.
‘I didn’t actually pinch anybody’s bum,’ said Nancy. ‘I only came over to let you know Mia doesn’t want ice in her Coke.’
Connor sighed. ‘And there was me thinking I was irresistible. ’
Nancy gazed at him, wondering why he always had to make it so hard to tell whether or not he was joking. Oh God, so did this mean his assertion to Mia that he didn’t find her remotely attractive hadn’t been true? Could he actually—
‘Of course he’s irresistible.’ Appearing at Nancy’s side, Tabitha gave her a cheery nudge. ‘Didn’t I tell you that the first moment I clapped eyes on him? I said, that’ll do for me!’
‘Flattery’ll get you everywhere.’ Connor slid his arm round her curvy waist.
‘Ten out of ten, I awarded you. Of course, you’ve gone down to eight now.’ Beaming up at him, Tabitha said, ‘I’ve never known anyone take so long to order a round of drinks.’
‘Ah well, there are some things you shouldn’t hurry.’ Connor’s eyes crinkled at the corners. ‘Take as long as possible, that’s what I say, and make sure you get it right.’ Puzzled, he lifted his head. ‘What was that?’
Nancy looked as mystified as the rest of them, passionately grateful that nobody else seemed to have realised that she’d just squeaked like a mouse.